A light hearted take on the way future is dear to the girls and present to the boys?

What do you think makes boys ki life easy?

Not taking seriously a girl friend’s ‘visibly unhappy’ discomfort with their relationship is a ‘boy thing’?

How does this getting away with non-seriousness make a boy’s life easier?

How does being uncommitted in a relationship with a partner who hopes for commitment make anybody’s life easier?

Take a look at this ‘a light hearted take on the way future is dear to the girls and present to the boys.

If you can’t see the video:

The ad film features Ranbir Kapoor picking up his visibly unhappy girlfriend and setting off on his Hero Maestro. She is tense about their future and tells Ranbir that she is not comfortable. He playfully shifts the conversation to his scooter and says the seats are indeed quite comfortable. Annoyed, the girl tells him that she’s serious, and asks for how long will this go on, referring to their relationship status. Ranbir again answers with reference to the Maestro, saying it will go far, with its ‘superb mileage’. …

When they stop, she tells him, “Just look at you. Kabhi toh serious ho jao (Get serious).” He straightens a rolled up denim leg and says with a serious face, “Marry me.” Asked if he is serious, he nods a ‘yes’ before ceding that he isn’t. She smiles at his antics and the two head into the event they have come to attend.The voice over concludes by saying “Boys ki life and Maestro ki ride; easy hai” (Boys’ life and Maestro’s ride; it’s easy).A super accompanies the voice over to sign off saying, ‘Maestro. Such a boy thing’.

Sanjay Tandon, COO, Draftfcb-Ulka, Delhi, explained that the Maestro is a brand built around boyish idiosyncrasies, and said, “To further reinforce the positioning success of the brand, Ranbir exudes his boyish charm through a typical ‘Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.’ storyline.” [Hero Maestro rides ‘a boy’s life’ with Ranbir Kapoor]

Related Posts:

Irresponsible girls who throw away their lives while in throes of lust for the completely wrong person…

Ek Hindustani ladki ki Izzat.

“A clandestine, and irresponsible, affair may prove dangerous. A city girl learnt it the hard way,”

“I need suggestions – these girls are ruining their lives with their stupid ideas about love.”

How important is it for a girl to Get Married and Stay Married?

“My relation with my ex was dead because he was never available for me in person or over phone.”

“The relatives seemed to be offering ‘condolences’ to my mother, for having the misfortune of having an ‘unmarried’ daughter…”

My guy told me that he is not willing to disappoint his parents.

Jealousies and one-upmanship are sometimes seen as machismo.

“One of the so-called best professor of my department … advices his students (girls) that men can be satisfied only by two things…”

When Getting Married and Staying Married is not an Indian woman’s life purpose.

“The sense of entitlement that’s hard-wired into every male child in an Indian household”

“This man is openly threatening his daughter and is instigating others to burn alive their daughters.”

Weird, funny facts about Misogynists.

This encourages double standards.

An email: An Old fashioned boy friend and a Liberal girl friend.

“I am betraying my parents, country and culture by not having an arranged marriage, people are talking, younger sisters not getting married.”

Where is the opportunity for Indian men to learn the most natural thing in the world – finding a mate??

“Why didn’t these women find life partners by dating?”

Live in Relationships: The man gets a temporary disposable wife?

What did Sharad Yadav mean by, ‘Who amongst us has not followed girls?’

Teaching school children that getting married without a bad name is a dream of every young girl.

Have your parents ever received a complaint about your morals, life style or personal choices…?

Marriages are sold to Indian women in a glossy cover…?

Boy friends are new parents

47 thoughts on “A light hearted take on the way future is dear to the girls and present to the boys?

  1. I am seriously tired of this portrayal than ‘boys’ dont want to commit or marry.
    It leads into this conditioning that makes some people believe that marriage is something the men ‘give’ the women. That by only the act of getting married , women are gaining something.
    In your previous post , thats why we had some commentators arguing that the woman asking her husband to move out of his parents place is unfair to the husband.

    Because in their mind the scorecard is going like this. –
    Man GAVE woman MARRIAGE
    So in return ,
    Woman GIVES man ‘staying at his parents house/joint family, cooking, cleaning, making and looking after babies etc etc’

    So to them the above is a balanced equation and anything a woman takes away from the above , makes it unfair for the husband!!!!

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    • as a women who has been commitment phobic all her life even in the best of love affairs , I can say its so untrue . Indian men and women see marriage as logical next step when are in an affair and so does people any where else. someone times other person don’t want to get married and that does not mean he / she is not committed enough in current relationship. In any case both should have similar expectations from a relationship , whatever they are . My problem is also with stereotyping women;s conversation in this add . No we do not talk like that , casually on a bike ride about a serious issue like marriage.

      All the women I know , if a guy behaves likes Ranbir , they will leave him and marry another , which is good for both of them .NO one should be forced to be serious and marry . No one does another a favor by marrying . She has a choice of walking out of this relationship rather than asking him to get serious.

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      • I totally agree with you Sex And Indian Cities. I am the more commitment phobic one between my husband and I. I committed to him when I felt comfortable. He has wanted to have babies and “settle down” for much longer than I have. So much for biology eh? And I am an Indian woman born and brought up in a very typical albeit slightly progressive household. Similarly with my brother. My brother married quite young because he wanted to and he married someone fairly older than him🙂 Stereotypes are very accurate, except when they fail totally!

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  2. Lol, I’m firstly distracted by the fact that the woman wears a helmet. Ever since I’ve moved to India, I’ve always been shocked at entire families riding these ‘bike’ things with only one person (generally the man who’s driving) wearing a helmet.

    This kind of attitude (men are commitment-phobes and women are nags) is actually prevalent all over the world, albeit in different ways. This commercial seems to embrace that attitude from the 1950s. While dating/relationships are becoming more common in India, I do think that women face a massive disadvantage in that they are seen as ‘immodest’ and worse, ‘damaged goods’ if they end a relationship or don’t date with the intention of getting married soon.

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  3. Here & I thought the girlfriend was ‘uncomfortable’ as in being embarrassed about riding on a scooter (as opposed to a more ‘comfortable’ ride in a car?).
    Guess that shows how poor my Hindi is!
    If one person in a relationship wants a ‘serious commitment’ (as in marriage) & the other person doesn’t (or is rather fickle & avoidant about the issue) then I’d say that is a major ‘deal breaker’. Move on to another relationship where you both have the same long term goals – It will be difficult but you’ll both be happier & better off in the long run.
    (I have the same qualms as Kay about riding on a scooter with no helmet & sidesaddle to boot – one pothole & SPLAT! massive terminal head injury! dead or crippled for life!)

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  4. Does anyone else feel that in general, Ranbir Kapoor’s numerous flings and even cheating (as alleged by ex-girlfriends) is taken as macho and “studly”, while the same thing if done by a female actor would be seen as sluttiness? Brands are seeking to ride on the positives associated with such an image – for men only.

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    • Unfortunately, that’s not just Ranbir v actresses. That’s how most sad, chauvinistic men (and women) think about other men and women as a whole. “Arrey, he’s such a stud, so many girlfriends!” “Boss” etc. When it’s a woman, “oh my god she’s dated like 20 guys already..what a slut!”. It seems to stem from this whole messed-up belief that male sexuality = good, strong, macho, female sexuality = bad, because females are supposed to be submissive and submit to male wants/needs, not have any of their own. Hypocritical patriarchy spills over into sex. A lot. This also implies sex is a male pleasure thing, women aren’t supposed to have any – just provide the man his.

      The saddest bit is the ones slut-shaming women are women, too.

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      • This double standard makes me so angry.

        Whenever my aunt comes over she’ll always joke and ask my brother how many girlfriends he has. This annoys the hell out o me as if my brother cheating on a bunch of girls is cute or funny. Once i jokingly asked her how come she never asks me if i currently have a boyfriend. She said and I quote “good girls dont do those things”.

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    • I agree with you Aparna. He is cast in this role precisely because he is seen as a “stud” because of his numerous affairs. Not that having numerous affairs is a bad thing.

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  5. Finally someone wrote about this. I didn’t find it funny, in fact its downright degrading. a) you are propounding a stereotype that boys only want to have an ‘easy’ relationship and that is what is cool and also that all girls have to ‘beg’ and ‘convince’ their men about marriage, while being termed as ‘complicated’ and ‘needy’.

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  6. Its annoying the way boys are portrayed, as someone who wants to have fun and nothing else. There’s nothing wrong woth fun dating but most men i know do want to settle down when the time is right. as for girls being nags and serious, both my sons date / go out woth their friends, both dont have serious relationships yet , but i dont see any naggy girls , i only see smary, confident, happy girls having a good time.

    BTW my husband was dead sure where our future was going way before the commitment bug bit me.

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  7. Appealing to men?
    I wouldn’t buy this scooter based on this ad.
    Macho men fancy motorcycles, not scooters.
    Macho men are serious, not flippant.
    Macho men do think about the future, not just the present.
    This ad wont sell any scooters, in my opinion.
    I would just laugh it off and forget this ad.
    There are too many silly ads nowadays.
    Regards
    GV

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    • You’re the smart kinds, sir. You are the real macho kind. However, there are millions of wannabe machos who think being all “studly” and disrespectful is what macho is about. That is the crowd these ads are panning to. You know what’s sad about those wannabes? It is probably their mothers that taught them such behavior was okay because you know, “boys will be boys”.

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  8. Hmm, so if Ranbir or some other guy is commitment phobic, it’s cute, funny, charming, boyish. If a girl is commitment phobic and floats from one relationship to another, she’s what? A slut? I don’t have a problem with Ranbir’s cute boyish behavior (in fact, I do find him cute and boyish) but please don’t get married and pretend you are doing someone a great favor. And please don’t call other women doing the same thing sluts. Double standards, calling this ‘such a boy thing’.

    A lot of women at my workplace think their husbands are being ‘cute’ when they act boyish, try to escape from responsibilities like cooking, parenting. A lot of men I work with joke abut their wives’ nagging, when they are asked to take on some chores.

    One day, I told my colleagues about yet another commitment joke that was forwarded to me on FB and said, “Why did he marry her? Why is he staying married to her? What the heck? If marriage is such a pain, if he thinks he’s doing her a huge favor, then he should leave. Either stay happily married and do your part as husband/dad OR get the h*** out. Why stay and behave like a martyr who gave up all your freedom and are chained to your nagging wife? JUST LEAVE! Maybe she’ll find someone who actually WANTS to be married to her.” That put an end to all those jokes in my presence.

    Actually this commitment phobia concept comes to us from the West, a remnant of attitudes from the 50s and 60s. In India and other patriarchal setups, men have a great advantage when getting married and therefore are eager to get married (why say no to all the perks). Both concepts are bad and work against women but it is interesting how they are also similar with regard to women being in the dependent, desperate position.

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    • Brilliant comment. This especially, “A lot of women at my workplace think their husbands are being ‘cute’ when they act boyish, try to escape from responsibilities like cooking, parenting. A lot of men I work with joke abut their wives’ nagging, when they are asked to take on some chores.”

      These boyish men are the same ones that think they have the burden of the world on them and take all decision making upon themselves because they’re oh so capable. Note to everyone : You don’t get to pick and choose to be an adult. If you get to decide how to spend the family budget, you also get to make your own damn cup of coffee and then load the dishwasher once you’re done. How do women find this behavior adorable? Is it just me?!

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    • I agree. Men in India actually want to get married as early as possible, so it’s somewhat strange that they like to joke about not wanting to do so. In my experience, women want to take more time and are wary about entering relationships in general while men just dive into it. After all, the woman will ‘adjust’, no?

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      • //”Men in India actually want to get married as early as possible, so it’s somewhat strange that they like to joke about not wanting to do so”//

        Hundred percent true. In fact I once asked a man who was making a joke at a friend’s wedding, that another poor man got himself a noose around his neck, why men married if they were so against it. He was actually shocked and did not have a reply.

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    • “Actually this commitment phobia concept comes to us from the West, a remnant of attitudes from the 50s and 60s.”
      I have to disagree. Commitment phobia doesn’t ‘come from the west’ but is a natural fallback of the fall of patriarchy. It is natural for non-patriarchial, socially liberated and independant men not to want to be bound by marriage. In fact, the right ‘not to marry’ should be mandated as a constitutional human right for those of us who don’t want to do so. I’ll give a little personal perview from the my own life, to illustrate this perspective.
       
      >> My non-Hindu culture doesn’t have dowry system, so I’ll leave that topic for someone else to explain.
      >> I earn quite well to sustain myself rather comfortably, so I don’t need another hand for economic sustainability.
      >> I prefer to cook my own meals and besides, I can always hire a maid or eat out if I didn’t have the time or inclination to cook on my own.
      >> I have a vibrant social life with a large circle of friends, as well as a number of very close, dependable friends so I get all the companionship I need.
      >> As a man who has no difficulty getting women to share a bed with (or couch, showers, whatever), I don’t have to wife a woman up to get to sleep with her.
      >> To iterate the previous point further, very few married men have fulfilling sex lives anyway, for reasons which are obvious to everyone but the inexperienced.
      >> Given the fickleness of a lot of women I’ve been with, I’d rather find emotional fulfillment within myself OR with my more dependable platonic friends.
      >> I am quite comfortable with the idea of growing old without a ‘woman by my side’. In fact, I find the idea of being so crippled that I have to depend on someone else for my daily need – rather humiliating. I’d rather do the honourable thing of ending my existence on earth than force another day living as a burden on another person.
      >> As someone who had a live-in relationship with an Indian woman , I’d rather not live with the drama AND the loss of personal freedom that cohabiting with a woman entails.
       
      So enlighten me, m’lady, what are the so called ‘perks’ of marriage that you speak of? Being the short sighted commitment phobe that I am, I can’t see any.
       
      Contrary to social stereotypes, men like the one portrayed in the ad are not phobes of any kind. They just *don’t want* to sign up for the social institution of marriage. It is like choosing not to submit to a religious ideal or belief (ironically, marriage is a quasi-religious institution, which is more the reason why atheists like me should reject it). However, given the patriarchial AND feminist social setups in India, such men are shamed and pressured into signing up for it – by the false glamouring that marriage is somewhat beneficial to men and essential for social survival; as well as the idea that eligible men who don’t want to marry are selfish, commitment phobe blasphemers.
       
      Moreover, most importantly, commitment =/= marriage.

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      • You either missed my point or I din’t elaborate enough. We are not disagreeing.
        1) When I say, commitment phobia comes from the West, yes, that is precisely because of the fall of patriarchy (to some extent) in the Western culture, so we are saying the same thing, except I didn’t elaborate.
        2) When I say ‘perks’, I’m not speaking about men like you, I’m speaking of the vast majority of patriarchal men – who like to boss over their wives but can’t even cook a simple meal or clean up after themselves. My husband was able to cook, clean, had friends and a life before he married me. He married me becoz he WANTED to, not because he NEEDED to. My cousin chose to stay single, because like you, he has many interests, and is happy with his single life. My brother loves his wife and didn’t marry her for her cooking and housekeeping skills. I’m not talking about men like these or men like Bhagwad or Satish or you on this forum but was referring the majority of Indian men who tend to be patriarchal. (BTW I also thing the majority of Indian women are patriarchal).
        3) I agree with you that for the minority of Indian men who are not patriarchal and for a subset of these who don’t want to get married, society doesn’t treat them kindly. My cousin gets a lot of flak for choosing to stay single and happy.

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        • also adding that there are many examples of men in my family who enjoy the perks of being male in India (and women who support the system) – the kind that belong to the majority – don’t want to list them all as that would break the site🙂

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      • Well. first of all, as the quintessential geek, I do not have even a fraction of the experience you seem to have with women, so my questions might sound naïve. I agree with you that commitment and marriage are not the same thing. Marriage is an artificial construct built to accommodate social conventions and to get society’s approval for a sexual relationship. Certainly, there can be and are committed relationships without the formality of marriage. To each, his or her own.

        Given that I agree with the core point that you are making, I still felt that there was something I needed to clarify with your response. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but the impression I got from reading your comment is that you consider relationships with women to be of the ‘use and throw’ variety. The mindset seems to be that if we can cook (or get someone to cook for us) and get someone to sleep with us and also have a good group of friends, then it is not worth for men to invest time and effort in a long-term relationship with women as they are fickle anyway. Is my understanding correct? Is it just your own experience or is it your contention that no man (who fulfills the above criteria) will ever have reason to find meaningful, committed, satisfying long-term non-platonic relationships with women? If yes, then does it mean that you consider women are just meant to be disposable companions for men? Sorry if this question appears to be loaded…I’m not trying to be sarcastic or judgmental…but just trying to understand a different viewpoint here…

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        • Satish, I thought as well that I detected a hint of “I don’t need these women, thank you” sentiment in Akhim Lyngdoh’s response. But then I thought maybe it was more an exasperated reaction to my “Indian men are eager to get married for the perks” remark/generalization. I suppose, neither men nor women (the mature ones) “need” each other in a desperate sense, but choose to marry when they love each other.

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      • I have the following suggestion to make to Akhim.
        Please put these thoughts of yours on paper.
        Sign it and put the date on it.
        Put it in an envelope and seal it and open it 20 years later.
        Read it and ask yourself if you are in agreement with your own present thoughts.
        I won’t be around to know the result but if this blog is still in existence then, do communicate the result to future readers.
        Regards
        GV

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      • @ wordsetmefree
        Well, in that case, we’re in agreement then. If I were to put two more pennies, I think marriage IS a patriarchal institution – the idea of two human beings being ‘bound’ by law with a rather complex process of ‘getting out’ is quite institutionalised and irrelevant once you think of a world beyond feudal concepts of gender roles. The institution was created for two purposes – for men and women to ‘complement’ each other at a time when such cohabitation was essential from a survivalist point of view AS WELL AS to create a safe haven for the nurturing of children. The idea that you have to marry someone *because* you love them, comes from this feudal concept where a man’s love for a woman is illegitimate and impure if he has no intention of signing into the institution of marriage with her.
         
        @ Satish
        I speak only for myself and hopefully, in the defence of those men who might be in a position similar to mine, but are unable to articulate their perspective without being castigated by the society as selfish and callous ‘commitment phobes’. The fact that you see my relationships with women as ‘use and throw’ illustrates this best. If I am not very mistaken, this is a perspective of women as commodities that have to be ‘bought’ if ‘used’; rather than human beings with independent agency. Also because I view all human beings as equal, I don’t see why *one* woman out of millions has to have a ‘special’ agency to *my* companionship.
         
        @ Sex and Indian cities
        I hear you! Welcome to the club! I can imagine the reactions, its not like men have an easy time if they articulate a perspective as I did. The average person with their conformist idea of ‘family’ and ‘society’ can’t come to terms with ideas which would perhaps be the ‘cool thing’ some 50 years from today.
         
        @ vishvanaathjee
        This is the irony of it. When I was 15 and in a relationship with my then girlfriend, I actually believed that we were ‘destined’ to be together. A little more than a decade wiser and having been with more women than I’ve kept count, I don’t see the point of being ‘together’ with anyone at all. So if thats anything to go by, 20 years from now and I might be heading a cult of polyamoury in full steam.

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  9. I think a different brand was running a “a girl thing” campaign a while ago. I thought this slogan was a response to that. it’s a pretty stupid ad trying to be too clever.

    if the girl is silly enough to have a commitment talk during a bike ride, the guy is probably justified in not being too serious. I can’t imagine trying to make life decisions on a scooter ride!

    on the other hand, there’s nothing cool about not planning for the future. but that’s probably why he’s on a scooter and not in a lambi gaadi (seen the obnoxious Honda ad?)

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  10. It’s an interesting perspective but somehow like the ad for its youthful appeal. However, I am against any form of stereotypes and I believe we, as society, are largely responsible in perpetuating this ugly patriarchal mindset.Even if ads and films stop doing that, I bet this sick society will not stop it.

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  11. I can somewhat relate to the ad. Marriage is a big step down from my freedom. I got married and can’t go skiing or hiking for an entire day as per my wishes. My wife has to approve everything.

    After all she can make friends and take time off too like I do… why do women have so many qualms?

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  12. The ad does not impress me at all and I wouldn’t bother buying it based on this dumb ad. I think women want to marry and men don’t is a big myth. Of course you want to play around if you have been caged and never had real freedom when you were younger.

    Boys Li life easy hai? Don’t they have to earn lots of money to increase their value?

    Why is the girl dating him if they don’t even match in certain values?

    Like

  13. A bit off the point, but what about the ‘norm’ according to which only the male should be the one riding the bike with the female as pillion ? How does that relate to a guy’s manliness ?

    I had written on this topic and would like to share if it is okay with IHM.

    Like

  14. Portraying women in role more serious than glamour will set a focus on character. Like all girls arent only the glamour type. They are girl with attitude, insight, efficient. where are such characters shown. No movie shows a working mother who asks her son to the lil tadka on dal she almost cooked and take care of the clothes from washing machine. They instead finger feed their sons, say “Khana /Nasta keliye aajao” .

    Ina recent movie, “Enough Said” a woman has to find love again. This movie shows the subtle tender feelings of finding love for a grown women. This subject is alien to glamor women but definitely a prevailing stage of life. Sadly the actress din get an Oscar Nomination despite good performance.

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  15. Hello everyone ,
    In this forum , I see a lot of very sensitive,sensible, intellectual and rational comments and arguments in favour of women, and by women . Rightly so. Many argue that in a relationship ,”men are mostly non-committal ,and women are desperate for a commitment”. Hmm , In my opinion , when one looks at Urban India in most of its parts, this is quite true. Only when you are talking about India`s Elite group(rich,richer and richest), this can be arguable. I am just curious about the people commenting or commentating about the issues here in this forum. I suppose they(the women especially) are all from either one of pretty well-to-do backgrounds, progressive, liberal, positive, well educated, confident etc. by nature ,or they became this way after a bad relational experience of their`s or their known one`s ,whichever way, I don`t know. Are these advises and suggestions that they give (I endorse them,practicality questioned) possible for an Average Indian Woman(read as middle class typical) to even consider ? .Will she be able to think that way..educate me! To know one , you have to be one.
    Because , most of the solutions to many problems were like , to date , get to know the guy in person before commitment , should put your self esteem before his work , be ready to say NO if you don`t like his family members , be brave to just walk out of any relationship you don`t like ,dress the way you like , have a child when or if you want to , etc. ..Absolutely sensible. Sensible for the women I previously mentioned !. I am not a male chauvinist, not a pessimist , not an optimist everytime either. I try to be a Realist . I`m open if need be.I would love not just a woman , but anyone to be that way. Be absolutely independent , and then look for the whoever they cannot live without…gaud.
    This idea of “get committed to a guy as quickly and easily as possible ” is a problem or a forced phenomenon which most Indian women have, irrespective of financial backgrounds.Reason being , financial, social, xyz security, whatever. But who needs more of this , and in turn being exploited , is the one to talk about ? Aren`t they from the majority of lower middle , middle, and to an extent, the upper middle income group ? people who are not as confident, gifted , fortunate , financially and emotionally as strong as most of you(us) are ??( presuming financial might brings with it ,confidence,fortune, exposure etc..debatable though! )

    I have a few questions to ask to the “solution/suggestion givers” in this blog, with due respect ,

    1. How will You instill your confidence, questioning and reasoning ability into a middle class , indian born and bred woman ,who doesn`t have the backing,background,exposure etc. that you have ? (the middle class indian girl gets to face most of the problems that we are discussing here)

    2. In India , who wants a marriage badly ? Who is best equipped to live without a marriage ?
    a guy or a girl ?
    I think the answers to these questions should give us a proper answer to all that has led us to most of what we are discussing and arguing about now.

    Most of the lower, middle, and upper middle class women in India are still dependent on men for a future , whatever that might be. Middle and upped middle class women in India are mostly not brought up emphasizing the absolute need to work , unlike the boys. They just get a degree for social status or acknowledgement. I know a lot of women (some my classmates) who have their BE , M.Tech , MBAs ,M PHILs etc , but don`t have a job .They didn`t even try for one. They got it just for the sake of it. May be its one of the ways of bringing down the dowry , or getting a groom who makes good money and/or lives abroad.That is how the girl`s parents`, her relatives` thinking process is , and, or may be , the girl herself is made to think that way. Devil knows.
    I`ll make this short and sensible if possible. At a very young age , boys are told that they have to work once they are grown ups , irrespective of what they learn or what their grades are, in school, college and wherever. . It is not the case with all the girls . They go, or are told to go to college just to keep them occupied till they are 20 or 21 years old. They are then married to someone else. It is a shame.
    In India, both boys and girls have to be brought up in a way that they are independent financially, physically, emotionally, and what not. Marriage should only be an option and not a compulsion , for everyone .

    Like

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