As 2013 comes to an end – an email with a positive story.
One of the many ways patriarchal societies maintain social, gender, class, age, wealth and family hierarchies is by allowing (even encouraging) some members to ‘attempt to improve’ the personal lives and choices (etc) of those who can be coerced to ‘display respect’ by tolerating this unasked for guidance/help.
And who has the permission to ensure that those ‘lower’ in social/family hierarchy stop being their ordinary imperfect selves and come up to their better expectations?
Generally anybody who is older; or who earns or inherits more; or who holds more degrees; or is a ‘ladke wala. Or simply those who others are advised to see as ‘more successful’ – basically most of those who fall in this category.
It seems more of us are, finally, beginning to see the Emotional Abuse in obvious control that the one who is being allowed to ‘improve’ is being given over the life of the one being persuaded to ‘display respect’ by trying to become someone they are not, and probably can never be.
Hopefully, as time goes, we will hear less of, “It’s for their own benefit.”