Brat Three has a mind of her own :)

Brat Three came back from the park looking angry and determined. She asked for my phone to call a friend who lives in the next building. I attempted to find what happened.

“Maybe I can help you?”

“No. I just want to talk to S.”

Well, it was just another nine year old she wanted to speak to. So I dialled the number on my mobile and gave her the phone, she took the phone, still looking upset, and walked into her own room and pushed the door shut. What would you do? I was puzzled by her reluctance to share what was bothering her but I also felt she had a right to a conversation with a friend who is the same age (and who I knew reasonably well).

And I could hear the conversation anyway.

“S. why did you tell me not to talk to F? Why should I stop talking to F? I am both’s friend. You can’t tell me not to talk to F or J or D, okay? I will talk to whoever I want to talk. Why did you say you will not call me to your birthday if I talk to F?”

There was some response, I couldn’t hear clearly although the phone was on speaker.

“If you will not call me for your birthday then I will also not call you for MY birthday party. Okay? I am not getting angry, I am explaining to you nicely. I am your friend and F is also my friend, I am both’s friend.”

There was some response, which she seemed to find satisfactory, because the tone changed, “Then I will also call you for my birthday and I will call F also and J and D.”

The same points were further stressed in the next few sentences and then a bye.

Brat Three came out and gave the phone to me, looking visibly relieved. “S is going to call me for his birthday and I will also call him for my birthday. I told him. I didn’t get angry, I explained to him nicely. I will not stop talking to F. I am both’s friend.”


Related Post:

Brat Three loves to Paint.

This is what makes Brat Three happy 🙂

Brat Three – Questions about death.

Brat Three loves Sher Khan and Sher Khan loves Brat Three.

Brat Three learns to argue, insist and convince.

Learning with Brat Three.


28 thoughts on “Brat Three has a mind of her own :)

  1. If only the people I were friends with at that age had had that same sense of justice. 😦 I always seemed to be in the position of F a lot; no one really stood up for me. It wasn’t until high school that I actually found friends who had loyalty, and by then, the damage was done. It’s really hard to trust people as an adult when you’ve had that trust broken a lot as a child. People might look at something like that and scoff, but the truth is that you grow up with scars.

    I’m glad that Brat 3 isn’t like that though! What a lovely, lovely kid. Wish she’d been my friend when I was 9! She seems like such a riot and such fun. 🙂 You can just tell that she’s going to grow up to be a lovely, sensible human being who doesn’t take things lying down. Even if it’s things that are affecting those aside from her.


  2. IHM… You described it so simply and beautiful. We see many emails on your blog in which adults fail to assert their rights and limits, living miserable lives. And its especially difficult to assert oneself to one’s friends (like JKR said in HP). How nicely Brat 3 dealt with her possessive friend!
    Hats off to her.


  3. Fabulous 🙂
    Pssst… when I have a brat I will send him/her to your place as well ok? Be sure to knock some sense into his/her head also and raise them sensibly the way you usually do 😀


  4. Hi IHM, so nice to see such a grounded, sensible, confident kid who knows how to assert herself and does not get bullied or swayed under peer pressure. Upbringing shows. 😀 Kudos to you IHM and to your husband.


  5. Absolutely wonderful!
    I need this kind of courage right now, I’m not too assertive so I wear myself too thin trying to please everyone even those who don’t deserve it! 😦
    Congratulations, shows what a wonderful mother you are. 🙂


  6. Can I come for the parties too? I promise to talk amicably to all, except when stuffing my face with cake. 😀

    Hugs to Brat Three, she has a mind of her own because she is being raised so, IHM!


  7. Stand up girl, Brat 3 is. Give her a hug for me.

    ” I didn’t get angry, I explained to him nicely”

    Next time I get angry, I’ll try to remember that there are nine year olds out in the world who explain nicely instead of getting angry. Maybe that’ll help 😀


  8. she is a cutie pie.. I went thru’ a similar situation with daughter recently. she told her bus mate that she will not talk to her anymore ‘coz of her classmate asked her not to talk. Her bus mate went home howling and I got the call from her mom. Then, we got to the details, daughter agreed it was her bad, apologies were offered, accepted and they continued to be good friends happily ever after.. 🙂
    It so happened that on the same evening I took them out for few hours and they acted so cool to each other as if nothing had happened earlier in the day…


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