Sharing an email.
To introduce myself, I am like any modern Indian girl, come from a house of 2 girls, got good education and am decently employed. I was married 2 years ago and my marriage has been a nightmare. I was constantly abused by my H, in-laws for money and otherwise and it took me a while before I realized that these were not “starting troubles” of an arranged marriage. And I probably realized it too late cos I had already emptied all my resources and lot of my parents money too, I was injured and then abandoned by my H. My H packed the entire house and fled.
Now he has filed a divorce case against me simply to harass me. He openly threatens me in the court that he will keep the case dragging and neither live nor leave me. True to his word, he has kept the case running for more than an year with no progress. I have now filed a dowry harassment case and inspite of having enough evidence of demands and harassment, they have got bail and are staying in hiding mostly. The police say the laws of this country are weak and they are helpless and can do nothing except for file some chargesheet.
I have heard and read Indian laws empower women but at every step in my experience, I see laws handicap women. Everyone from the police, to lawyers, online forums, even some counsellors add to your pain with their prejudice that a woman filing a case is doing it solely for the sake of harassing “poor husband and his family”. I hear things like “Good luck for your bleak future”, “Drop charges, else no man will ever remarry you”, “You have a younger sister, you are spoiling her future”, “How immoral that you want to send your elderly in-laws to jail” from people who are barely know me. Why don’t they see the morality of a 70 year old couple exploiting the life of a young 25 year old girl for their greed? Is it really so much of a pain to be a woman in this country? Is the legal system really that bad that a man can spoil the life of a woman legally? Unfortunately the biological clock of a woman ticks faster than that of a man and this is something that our legal system does not understand.
I am tired of running around courts and lawyers and police and fighting the system. Any advice/suggestions from the readers of this blog on how to get out of this mess would help me.
And I found this on the email writer’s blog, here – http://mydiaryofabuse.blogspot.in/
‘How has it become possible that my abusive husband even now controls the relationship I have with my family? When he has already abandoned me and refuses to take me back, why does the society still expect that I will live my life praying that he will take me back. Why doesn’t my family allow me to cut my losses and move on?’
“What if I let go the gold and money, not that I am rich, but they won’t give me a divorce easily…”
Cabinet clears bill: Equal rights in Marital property, Easier divorce.
Marriage counseling: “You are working, it does not mean you can talk this way.”
“I am glad that my parents never thought of raising us as ‘future daughters-in-law’.”
What good is being liberal or modern if your daughter gets divorced in the first year of the marriage?
Nobody asks men if they are married or divorced if they want to buy a credit card or mobile phone.
Would any of the readers know of divorce lawyers in Singapore, preferably Indian in descent?
“If one of the parties wants a divorce, it should be granted irrespective of who’s “fault” it is.”
An email from a Divorcee’s Daughter.
Feminism has gone to women’s head. Divorce has become like selling onions.