What do you think of this speech by a dad? Is this speech likely to inspire much needed confidence in the daughter, does it convey that she can look upon her dad, and her family, as a support system? If not, then how does this daughter benefit from having a ‘family’?
Do you believe anybody who feels this way about daughters could genuinely consider himself ‘lucky enough to father a daughter’ and for all the love they feel for their girl child – would they, if they could choose, want to have daughters?
This dad clearly seems to believe that the parents of sons have some special rights and parents of a daughter can only ‘beg’ for her happiness. What then could make them want to have daughters? A sense of duty to the son’s parents? (as in, the society needs girl- children or else who would the sons marry)?
Then, should people have and raise girl children, out of a sense of ‘duty’ as a ‘social responsibility’? Does it make such parents, or the society, value those children as equal people – or do these children remain future daughters in law and wives for them and for the society? How does it affect the lives of those whose sole purpose for being born and raised is to be married off at the right age to someone who is being begged to keep them happy?
How likely are any parents to want to have a child if they also believe that this child’s life and happiness lies in the hands of other people and all they can do is beg for her happiness?
This is one of the many ways in which Patriarchy affects men. Patriarchy gives tradition the power to overrule common sense, parental love and basic human values.
Sangitha Krishnamurthi shared this link, with this question: ‘Can we begin with any lower expectation?’
23,695 people like this.
A DAD’S SPEECH AT HIS DAUGHTER’S WEDDING
I thought I would start my speech by addressing you as the “new” family of my daughter. But I think it would be inappropriate because now that she is married, you are “the family” for her. Believe me; I don’t have a problem with that. I, in fact, want my daughter to have “you” as her priority now. Its time for us to take a backseat in her life. We would happily accept it but would surely request one thing- please keep her happy!
I am more than sure that you will keep her very happy. She will perhaps be happier than what she used to be here. But like all fathers, I obsess over my daughter’s happiness which is making me say this over and over again- please keep her happy!
She never was and will never be a burden for me. She is in fact the reason why I breathe and smile. I am getting her married because this is what the law of nature demands. I am helpless in the face of our culture and therefore sending her to your home. She was the happiness of my home and will now light up your home. I am giving my world to you. Please make sure it remains beautiful. I am giving away my princess to you. Please make sure she stays as a queen. I have raised her with my sweat and blood and now she is wonderfully perfect. For all the care, love, beauty and warmth my daughter will bring into your lives, I just want her happiness in return—please keep her happy!
If at times you think that my daughter has said or done something wrong, feel free to scold her. But handle her with love. She is very fragile. If at times she feels low, be with her. She just needs a little bit of your attention. If at times she feels sick, show her some care. It’s the medicine that works best for her. If at times she fails to fulfill a responsibility, feel free to chastise her. But empathize with her. She is still learning. Do understand her—please keep her happy!
I don’t mind if I don’t get to see her for months. I don’t mind if I am not able to talk to her on a daily basis. I would be more than happy if she doesn’t remember me much. But, my only motive in life has been my daughter’s happiness which is now in your hands. I beg you, please keep her happy.
Dear son-in-law, these words may not mean much to you now but if you are lucky enough to father a daughter someday, you will appreciate them better when you will find every beat of your heart shouting – “please keep her happy”!
— Dedicated to all fathers