So where did I see this happy Indian bride …and her delighted daughter?

Finally an ad that has the bride enjoying her wedding... but who’s that little girl with her?  :)

MS shared the video with this article, ‘Tanishq breaks social norms, celebrates remarriage in new ad

And here’s a comment I found interesting:

Remarriage? CNN IBN subconsciously reinforcing certain restrictive societal norms by assuming that children appear only as a result of marriage.

A screen shot of the bride almost running to the mandap, with her daughter.

Screen Shot 2013-10-27 at 7.41.33 PMHow we create our ‘families’ is changing. We now have more options.

More of us have more options.

Screen Shot 2013-10-27 at 7.45.09 PM

Do take a look at the video.

What I liked,

The bride looks confident

The child knows what’s happening

The child knows the man and is comfortable with him.

The ad reminded me of ‘A feast of roses’ by Indu Sundersen – where Jehangir makes an effort to get to know Noor Jehan’s daughter Ladli.

Some more positivity?

Kangana Ranaut’s interview.

52 thoughts on “So where did I see this happy Indian bride …and her delighted daughter?

    • This ad seemed like video of actress Shweta Tiwari’s wedding, researching Indian actresses and domestic violence came across her story. Married for second time and her 11yr old daughter was jubilant so were the bride and groom.
      Remarriages were always taking place be it in the form of nata (woman’s remarriage) in north India or chaddar chadana (widow remarriage in north Indian agrarian communities). The only thing was the children in nata were either left behind with their father or with woman’s parents as new husband was not liable for their welfare with very few exceptions. Rather there was always a rush to remarry the divorced woman not even giving her time to recover from the initial shock and think.
      DG

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    • Look what Captain KArva Chauth has to say about the ad!
      Whats worse is he has this follwing of seemingly educated men treating him as a Guriji and DemiGod.
      “Not only that the bride ( used maal ) must have the right to make the bridegroom carry all her illegitimate children from her previous live in lovers, while doing the sacred round — (like in the Tanishq advertisement above). “

      Like

  1. I just saw this ad circulated on FB today, and was wondering when you would post about it! I loved the ad for a lot of reasons, especially the last scene – am a sucker for daddy-daughter scenes😛

    Anyway, yes, the comment regarding marriage as a precondition for children also struck me when I watched it – could she not just be a single mom? By choice? What indicated that she had been previously married? Could the daughter not have been adopted? The ad leaves you with multiple possibilities….and as the audience, you get to choose which you think has happened.

    I thought the ad was a step in the right direction in a few ways – whether previously married or not, she is a single mom; like you said, the daughter is acquainted with the groom, and seems to like him, and he treats her well; the bride was shown to be excited, and not sporting the typical ‘rona-dhona’ look I’ve seen on most brides in ads; there was no animosity in terms of other members of the groom’s family due to the fact that he was marrying a woman who already had a child that was not biologically his (stressing the ‘biologically’ because his behaviour indicates he treats her like his child); and most of all, the daughter was involved in the wedding and really cheerful about it – she wasn’t a source of shame for the mother nor, what I assume are the mother’s parents.

    There was some talk on FB about the fact that the bride was had a ‘dusky’ complexion, whatever that means, though I didn’t even notice that until it was pointed out. I just liked the fact hat she seemed genuinely happy about the relationship.

    The ad brought tears to my eyes, but happy tears, because I know this was not a possibility for so many women just a few years ago. It served as a hopeful look at the changing nature of families.

    I didn’t understand what it had to do with the jewellery, but the concept was good.

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    • The jewellery indicates that life is changing for Indian brides but only for people who can afford Tanishq diamond jewellery (Mind the sarcasm!!!)

      When I wanted to take divorce and discussed this with my parents they said we are not rich enough to take such decisions, so if I am middle class the shame will be even more as there will be more fingers pointed out, if you are loaded the money becomes the shield to rude comments. Rich or poor people talk about you. I was pretty strong that I am not going to stay in prison for the fear of someone talking about me.

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      • Huh, interesting point Joy. I definitely did not think about the class aspect here. But I see what you mean – of course not everyone would be able to afford the jewellery, and the impact of things like divorce and single motherhood definitely varies depending on your socio-economic class.

        Glad to hear you stuck to your position! Not many are strong enough to stand against social pressures.

        I personally don’t see the point in wasting so much money on gold (or diamonds, or what have you) – I’ve heard of parents getting second and third mortgages on their homes paying for gold and other (in my opinion unnecessary) wedding expenses of their children, especially daughters. I’ve always said, one’s wedding should be one’s own responsibility – after all, if you are old enough to make the decision to get married, you should be mature enough to realize that you should be paying for it yourself.

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        • hardly anyone in a traditional Indian setup marries because THEY choose to. Their parents decide for them. It’s all so ridiculous!

          Of course, if I get married, I’m paying for my wedding. I’m also only inviting people *i* want to. I’ll ask my dad to throw a different reception or something if he wants to invite the entire world and their cousin.

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        • Lately, big fat Indian weddings have become a norm, Here is one such wedding..

          I had a think about it and realized, neither the bride nor the groom could earn the amount of money (in their lifetime) spent on their wedding day, if they did not belong to their respective power families…

          Ban arranged marriages for good!!!

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        • I doubt its just arranged marriages that involve the unnecessary expenses. I think weddings have become much too commercialized and all about who you invite and how much you spend, rather than just a heartfelt celebration of love.

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        • –one’s wedding should be one’s own responsibility

          I cannot agree more. But here the wedding dress, date, location and everything other thing is decided by someone else and its a long lost fact that “It is my day”. Even my mother is ridiculed when I the choice of wedding dress is mine.

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        • Sorry to hear that! You definitely should be able to pick out your own wedding dress, at the least – although picking out everything else is also your right, seeing as it is YOUR wedding!🙂

          There are many families in the West too that try to monopolize their child’s wedding – Indian and non-Indian. I think its just an extension of their desire your control EVERYTHING about your life. But I’m sure the pressure to let others ‘handle it’ is probably much higher in Indian society.

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        • Now imagine this big fat wedding couple finds out after their Swiss honeymoon they are incompatible do you think either family will let them call it over? Those millions of rupees and 5000+ guests they are answerable to. That is how marriages survive long in desiland.
          DG

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  2. in 1.25 billion of populace u are rejoicing for one ad. Indian society has still one of the lowest divorce and it will continue till we call ourselves indian.
    there is a market which benefits from the breakage of marriage institution. thats why this ad.

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    • How is this the “breakage” of marriage? She couldve been a widow too, you know. Unless you believe women shouldnt have a second shot at happiness.

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    • Yeah right! People get married so they could break up and get a chance to buy Tanishq jewellry for the second marriage.
      Amazing that this is your take away from this ad.

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    • You see a wedding and automatically think of breakage of marriage? I’m indian and there is no ‘we’ here, so please speak for yourself. Simple logic says that you cannot generalise your views to over a billion people. I bet everyone in your immediate surrounding doesn’t even agree with you. Unfortunately for you, you live in a democracy. Everyone gets one vote. You are not ‘more’ indian than the others.

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    • Indian society has a low divorce rate because the man and woman ( more often woman) feel immense pressure from society to continue staying married even when they do not get along or are unhappy with the marriage or worse, even when there is physical, verbal and mental abuse. Not being divorced does not mean all those marriages are happy and mutually satisfying marriages.
      Of course you would know this only if you would crawl out of the stone ages that you seem to be living in and would stop believing in cliches.

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  3. Watched this ad yesterday and was pleasantly surprised. It breaks so many of the conventions in ads and in normal Indian ‘life’. Firstly the woman is not the typical fair-skinned Indian bride, which was absolutely great. She was beautiful. Then she appeared confident (not like those weepy, desperate brides that ads usually portray). It was great to see the families of the bride and bridegroom involved and genuinely happy with the entire marriage setup. Then of course the kid taking the saat pheres with her mom and stepdad (or new dad) is also unconventiona of course. I wonder what fundamentalists think about our ‘great Indian culture’ being changed in this manner.

    That comment about the remarriage part was extremely valid. After all, why could it not have been a child from a previous relationship (not marriage)? It’s great the ad leaves this all open to interpretation. I hope this ad gets the popularity it deserves.

    I wish more ads like this will grace our screens. Tired of seeing the stereotypical Indian woman cooking in the house, washing dishes, washing clothes, and being submissive. It annoys me to see the Prestige ads with Aishwarya and Abhishek – ‘jo biwi se karta hai pyaar, wo prestige se kaise kare inkaar’. I mean seriously – men don’t cook? And I’m again bored of seeing those demure brides in all their beautiful bridal clothes being ‘given away’ to their husbands by their fathers. We need a revolution.

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    • Yeah the prestige ad annoys me too!And how often would Aishwarya cook for Abhishek! (That’ll turn into celebrity gossip, let’s not get there….😉 ) But the point is, most Indian ads show only women cooking for the family!

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      • Precisely! I’ve never seen a man cook in ads. Even if he does it’s because he wants to surprise his wife, or because he’s taking care of his sick wife. None of the ads make it look like it could be a normal thing for a man to cook. And of course that Prestige ad is just silly. Like you said, how often would she cook for him!? That would make some story! Hahaha.

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  4. I saw this ad last night and found it extremely beautiful, the whole scenario was so comforting, I wish we Indians get to see more societal norms change for good, this is a lovely post, feeling happy that somebody actually wrote about it

    Amritt R

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  5. Love this ad. Love that she looks different to your usual TV ‘bride’, love that she has a daughter, love that no one is crying and the bride seems happy and enthusiastic and love the happy ending.

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  6. Ofcourse this advertisement is breaking certain stereotypes. I also believe that one advertisement is not enough to break few or all stereotypes. confident dark single parent with a DAUGHTER- marrying/ remarrying

    I have few observations in this
    – Why is family approval still a must for marriage/ remarriage? “happy family in the ad”—- should it really matter?
    – Why is marriage/remarriage necessary —- at the end we are still showing a woman finding her feet through marriage—- would have loved to see otherwise? – specially because its a daughter(young girl) and then few people i know of linked this to the fact that it would be easier to find a groom for the young girl in future —hmm yeah surprisingly a minute long advertisement is enough to generate this response.
    – kid could be through previous partner ( out of wedlock as well)

    the fact is that we don’t talk about relationships openly with our children as we should- no marriage/ remarriage/ pre marital relationships are still not openly talked about.
    the bigger problem is not remarriage- the problem is that a remarriage will happen with a divorcee only/ or a widower – rarely i have come across a remarriage case where for one of the partner its a first marriage.

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    • I agree with you partially, in that family happiness is not a precondition to a marriage. It would be nice if one’s parents and family were happy with one’s life choices, but it certainly is not a necessity. Also, yes, I agree, marriage is hardly a necessity itself. She could have just bought the jewellery for herself – to celebrate a job, a promotion, her independence, a birthday, whatever makes her happy. I went and looked at the other Tanishq ads, and all revolved around marriage – it was surprising, because buying jewellery is hardly reserved for weddings – people buy jewellery for a variety of reasons. But compared to those ads, relatively, this one was a step in the right direction. It was far from perfect, but it certainly rose above the usual drivel.

      As for talking to children about relationships, it seemed here like the little girl knew at least some of what was going on, though it may have helped if the mom had explained to her what the wedding would be like, e.g. what the pheras were, etc. Overall though, I thought it was a nice attempt.

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      • This ad is less sappy and glad it is progressive.
        But I also agree why are there no jewelry ads for woman who wants to celebrate a promotion or a big bonus or a birthday? Certainly not spending my money on tanishiq jewelry, since obviously they don’t cater to women who can afford to buy for themselves. Instead my money is going to investments, manolo blahnik (epitomized by the ultimate single gal Carrie Bradshaw) and a luxury beach vacation with cocktails and checking out hot guys in six pack abs. Tanishq marketing – I am definitely your lost customer base.

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        • Agree completely! I also would not spend my money on Tanishq or any other jewellery with ads that make a wedding the be-all-and-end-all. I mean really, are there not other events worth celebrating? One other Tanishq ad that bothered me was this one:

          How manipulative and cunning of the mother! And why exactly is that particular jewellery set “wedding jewellery”?

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      • Exactly my point, Madbrat – nothing about a child can be wrong to me! My point was yours – why marriage, why not ‘not marriage’? As an adoptive parent who hears this about my child all the time, believe me, conditioning is the least of it!

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  7. Loved the bride – happy, confident. And especially loved the groom. Seemed genuinely in love. And so secure, confident. Knows what he wants and no air of martyrdom for marrying her.
    I didn’t notice the skin color until reading comments. Indians are a thousand different shades of brown and love every one of them.

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  8. You know what I liked the best about this ad? The very last scene where the bride, the groom, and the little girl are laughing. Now how many ads (or content on Indian television) show a bride laughing easily and openly with her groom? No, she has to be the ‘sati-savitri’ coy bride who thinks it is shameful to express happiness or anything for that matter (and that shame of expression is upheld throughout her life when she wishes to speak up or resist anything wrong or unjust). That laughter of the little family shows they are already a family – was the marriage really a necessity? Well, maybe a legality. But this little family cares two hoots about such social fanfare. They are very much in love and happy with each other. And that is all that matters.

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  9. So, IHM, guess what our favorite misogynist has to say about this ad:
    “… the bride ( used maal ) must have the right to make the bridegroom carry all her illegitimate children from her previous live in lovers, while doing the sacred round …”

    Like

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