“…and every month if my periods get delayed I am given a weird look and it clearly shows that she is afraid i might get pregnant again.”

Sharing an email.

Hi IHM,

I am a working mother of two kids..This email is regarding contraception and Family planning operation..
Here is a short description of my life post marriage:

My husband is a lovely and understanding person and a JKG :-)
During initial months of marriage we tried for kid but were unsuccessful in the first year. Then I got pregnant unfortunately that ended in a miscarriage…
Then started all the problems….I was blamed for the miscarriage (I was abused to the extent that word spread that I only took some tablets to end the pregnancy!!)
I felt suicidal but my husband was very supportive and was by my side whenever someone talked about miscarriage

Next year I again got pregnant and that too ended in miscarriage @ 11 weeks….I was completely devastated and it took 1 year for me to come to normalcy…

Then I took it as a challenge, reduced my weight (around 18 kgs) and tried to get pregnant and was successful immediately…. but i faced so many complications during the entire pregnancy… I was put on complete bed rest (was allowed to get out of bed only for using rest room) for the entire nine months and finally i delivered a lovely boy baby by C-Sec….

God blessed me with another baby (girl) within next 18 months :-)

But here started the problem… owing to my complications, my gynec refused to perform family planning operation when i delivered my 2nd baby….
Now I am being abused by my MIL that my ill health is the reason why the gynec didnt perform the operation and every month if my periods get delayed I am given a weird look and it clearly shows that she is afraid i might get pregnant again

But the same lady used to torture me earlier (before birth of my son) if i got my periods every month :-) what an irony

Ok I come to the point…I want to know if there are any contraception laws in India…. Does it work in favour of women?

As I told earlier, I am working so it is difficult for me to take long leaves as I have already taken two back to back maternity leaves…
Also my health is very bad that i will not be able bear another operation…

Any advice?

– A Confused Mother

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An email from a new mother: Of long term Contraception and Ayurvedic oil massages.

An email: Is it selfish to not want to be parents yet?

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No sex education for us. We’re Indian – Amodini

64 thoughts on ““…and every month if my periods get delayed I am given a weird look and it clearly shows that she is afraid i might get pregnant again.”

    • I’m not sure what you’re asking. If you mean you don’t want more babies, there are pills and condoms that can be used. And as someone pointed out, your husband can also have a vasectomy. You do have plenty of options, you don’t have to worry. Why not just consult a good gynecologist about family planning? And don’t forget to take your husband along. His contribution is as important as yours. And fyi, there are no laws against family planning in India.

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    • Traditionally Indian in laws and husband are permitted to control every aspect of a daughter in law’s personal life. How much, when and what she eats; when she sleeps and wakes up; her period; her hair cut, length and style; what she wears, where she works, when she stops working, when she starts working again, when she takes a shower etc.

      Traditionally any indication of imperfections, like health issues, being head strong, having a mind of her own, having an opinion, aspirations etc were either be compensated with more dowry from the parents or with more ‘silence, sacrifice and suffering’ by the woman herself. Or both.

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      • To any potential brides from different cultures considering marrying an Indian man-
        It doesn’t matter if your Indian husband says he wants a ‘modern’ relationship, nor if your husband & in laws are ‘educated’, ‘well off’ or poor, Hindu or Muslim, or even if you are self supporting professional (i.e. doctor, lawyer, etc) prior to the marriage-
        Please be aware that your Indian in laws (not only MIL & FIL but BIL, SIL, even nieces & nephews) are very likely to try to control EVERY aspect of your life as described by IHM.
        As a self supporting American woman with a professional career I was subjected to this nonsense by my Indian in laws for the first 2 yrs of my marriage to my Indian husband.
        Like if I slept late, my weight, whatever was discussed & derided by my BILs (my husband’s older brothers).
        My advice-
        1- Don’t take it personally.
        2- Put a stop to it immediately.
        Say something like,
        “F^ck off. My body is none of your business & what goes on in my husband & my bedroom is none of your business either.”
        Don’t let it go on & try to graciously ignore this obnoxious, controlling behavior for 2 yrs like I did.

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        • Very well said, this is the advice every Indian woman should ingrain in her brains. One thing they must get out of reading this blog if nothing else. Telling the MIL to f***off is the one and only way to go in my books when dealing with such people. Everything else about being polite, trying to make them understand, being tactful is a complete waste of time and mental effort that I would prefer investing elsewhere than in a MIL,

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      • OMG, IHM you are so right !!! with your comment, I am reminded of my own story that happened about 1.5 years ago. I had short cropped hair through my school and college but I eventually fell for long tresses and started growing my hair. So much so that when I was getting married to my college sweetheart my hair reached below my waist. My in-laws and their extended family was really happy with my long hair and it became a point of praise for my hubby for choosing such a “lovely” girl for himself. I was gloating in their praise, unaware of what was coming. I was told by atleast 5 females of the family to NOT cut my hair ever !!!! My MIL directly told me – “you can do whatever you want, wear whatever you want, but you won’t cut your hair ever”. I was stunned, shell shocked, my own Mom had never had told me anything like that with such finality. I immediately understood I had to set my expectations and limits from the start and I am glad I did. Few months after my marriage I got a really cool hairstyle which shortened the length of my hair a little. My DH mailed my FIL a latest pic of ours on one of the outings and the first thing my MIL noticed was my hair. Although she didn’t say anything to me, the next day I get a call from my DH’s bua (aunt) and the first thing she asks me is – ” Is your hair falling ?” I was like, these ladies have nothing better to discuss in life !!! Oh yes , I think I should also mention my sugar coated answer to that lady – “No bua ji they are not falling, I got them cut cause I like them this way ”
        I have never been asked about my hair ever since🙂
        There are so many other similar incidents but they all summarize to what IHM says above about Indian In Laws

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  1. I’m not sure what you’re asking. If you mean you don’t want more babies, there are pills and condoms that can be used. And as someone pointed out, your husband can also have a vasectomy. You do have plenty of options, you don’t have to worry. Why not just consult a good gynecologist about family planning? And don’t forget to take your husband along. His contribution is as important as yours. And fyi, there are no laws against family planning in India.

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  2. Why does your MIL ( or anyone else besides your doctor) need to know when you have your periods?
    If you are unable to undergo surgery for a tubal ligation (permanent sterilization) & your husband is unwilling to have a vasectomy why not opt for a long acting form of contraception like an intrauterine device (IUD) with progestogen (i.e. Mirena)?
    iAn ntrauterine device (IUD) with progestogen will also minimize your periods.
    If you are unable to tolerate the minimal hormonal changes with ian ntrauterine device (IUD) with progestogen why not choose another long acting contraception device like a copper IUD (i.e. the copper T)?
    In any case I’d get a new gynec as your current gynec doesn’t seem interested in your concerns (to put it mildly).

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    • You can get pregnant with a copper IUD – as I found out : IUDs move and have to be checked every year.

      Isn’t tubal ligation subsidized by the Indian Government for women who already have 2 children ? And it seems it can be reversed : it was done in Tamil Nadu for survivors of tsunami who lost their children.

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  3. Sorry , that should have read –
    “An intrauterine device (IUD) with progestogen will also minimize your periods.
    If you are unable to tolerate the minimal hormonal changes with an intrauterine device (IUD) with progestogen why not choose another long acting contraception device like a copper IUD (i.e. the copper T)?”

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  4. Two points I don’t understand: (1) How does the M-I-L (of all people) know when she is getting or not getting her periods? (2) Why is the husband not going in for family planning?

    I don’t mean to sound demeaning, but what exactly is the issue? The husband can go in for family planning and that is about it. Also, if she says her husband is all loving and caring etc., how is the M-I-L being allowed to act this way with her?

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    • If they are staying with the MIL, she will know because of any of these reasons :
      1 – If she has cramps and feels uncomfortable during periods. I used to get cramps (before pregnancy, I don’t know why but I have cramp less periods post delivery) on first two days of periods and am generally very slow and less active those days because of the pain and discomfort, so one look at my face, my MIL can make out I am having my periods.
      2 – If the family believes in the myth of menstruating women being impure. MIL would keep the track of my dates. My MIL would not let me enter the ‘pooja’ room (she would sweep the pooja room first and then hand over the broom to me to sweep other rooms🙂 ) or wash FIL’s cloths (actually I would wash and she would give it a final rinse to take off the impurity ) because FIL goes to temple everyday. So she remembers my dates and also checks with me.
      From the letter I can guess that her MIL believes in the ‘impure’ and may be even the ‘untouchable’ myth.
      3 – The LW says that earlier her MIL was behind her to get pregnant and now she is afraid her DIL will get pregnant, so obviously the MIL is keeping track of the date and keeping an eye on her and checking with her. I feel its not very difficult for a woman to know if the other is having periods, while staying together, especially if she is observing her so much. She can bluff sometimes but not always.

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      • @seena,
        Thank you for explaining it so clearly. In my earlier comment I wanted to ask whether it is so obvious to know when a girl is having her periods without her talking about it herself. In the circumstances which you mentioned in your comment, I guess it would be difficult to hide from a suspecting MIL even if the DIL doesn’t talk about it.

        On the topic of untouchability during menstruation, I really wish that someone enlighten such MILs that their own sons came into this world covered with all the ‘impurities’ (like blood and stuff) out of their own bodies. Now would they consider their sons impure and untouchable as well???

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      • Why can’t FIL wash his own clothes, if he is so pure? I am rather shocked at the airy way this has been described, as perfectly normal. It’s NOT normal. It’s humiliating and disgusting.

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        • Exactly, she is describing it is a normal matter of fact which shocked me the most. Why does she still sweep the floor and wash FIL’s clothes on any day, period or no period?

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        • I am sorry if my comment gave a wrong idea of things at my In Laws place, I was trying to keep it as short as possible. I don’t stay with my in laws now. These are things which happen during my short terms of stay before I joined my husband in Dubai and during our vacations. At my in laws place everyone shares responsibilities. Most of the time I do washing clothes (every body’s) and cleaning the house and courtyard. My MIL cooks and I only assist her. She never sits idle and always does some or other chores around. She works in the paddy field too and does de husking and all other related work to turn paddy to rice with the help of FIL. My FIL is often busy working in our paddy fields and growing vegetables. He does wash his clothes and cooks too. Ironing everyone’s clothes (including mine) is his duty.
          My in laws are traditional people with patriarchic views like my parents too. They don’t have much education and have not been out of their village much. So they do believe in some myths and hold misogynist views even without realizing that they do it. But they have love and humanity in them which outshines their patriarchic beliefs.
          Though my uneducated MIL was conditioned through out her life in the misogynist views and was treated as ‘untouchable’ during her periods by her elders, she doesn’t do that to any of her DILs. During periods also I sit in the dining table and eat with others, they eat food I serve etc… When I get cramps, she makes me take rest, gives medicines, makes hot bags, makes sure I eat well.
          But some conditioning is still left in her. She believes that menstruating women should not be near God or touch anything or anyone going near God. I was highlighting the fact of me washing FIL’s cloth and she giving it a final rinse to take off the ‘impurity’ to show how foolish such beliefs are. I didn’t say this was normal. In fact I was mocking at such beliefs.
          I was just answering how it is not difficult in a family staying together for an MIL, especially if she is the kind of LW’s MIL to know when the DIL gets period and thus giving only the relevant details.

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        • This is a prime example if how we can pass judgement SO EASILY without knowing the complete story. *note to myself* do not jump on someone without knowing all the details. Seena, I like your in laws. They are flawed like we all are. But they sound like nice people.

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  5. I just realized something else – the M-I-L is probably getting to know the details of the couple’s sex life too! Eeewww… That is downright disgusting! How can someone even want to know something so damn private?

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  6. I have a problem with Indian tradition of the so-called ‘family bonds’.So strong that individuals lose their space and MIL controlling DIL’s personal life is highly disgusting.I thing it is time DILs should draw a boundary between their MILs and their own lives.

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  7. Exactly. How can someone know about a girl’s periods without her telling them herself? I personally know of a friend who put her health to risk by taking periods-delaying pills just because her MIL didn’t want her to participate in some puja during her periods. Associating menstruation to rituals and untouchability is ridiculous in itself, but even otherwise, I mean it’s nobody else’s business to know about a girl’s periods.

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    • Is pooja more important than of her own health? Leave aside her MIL, what is wrong in skipping a pooja or two? Unless the MIL would create a ‘pooja’ of her own for the DIL, I suppose!

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  8. Tell u hubby to go for vesectomy…its perfectly safe and normal….And for God sake dont tell ur MIL abt it…she will raise a storm as to why her darling son has to go through this “demeaning” process.

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    • This is practically not possible bcoz my MIL cant see her son going in for an operation!! Also we live in a joint family set up and its hard to hide things from in laws !!

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      • And you still call your husband joru ka ghulaam? He seems like a mama’s boy to the core who needs mama’s permission/ approval on even selecting the birth control methods. If you can go through miscarriages, child births, operations why can’t he? What does joint family have to do with it? It’s something between both of u.

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      • So your MIL can’t see her son going in for the operation, but you can go in for miscarriages and a whole lot of pain and that’s OK? If he is a JKG and actually cares for you, please ask him to stand up and tell his mother to back off. Your health is important too – and you have to believe that and let everyone know that. If it is that difficult to “hide” things from in-laws (and why the need to hide?) get the vasectomy done and THEN tell them, if you have to – otherwise none of their business.
        It seems to me from your reply above that you are asking for a “hidden” way to get control of your (sexual) life. Your life, especially your sexual life, is a private matter between you and your husband. If people like MIL are forcibly inserting themselves into it, you have to tell her to get out. You will have to take a stand, and your JKG will have to also. You have to let them know that you value yourself and your health and these topics are off-bounds.

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      • I think your mother-in-law thinks of your as your husband’s personal toy.
        It takes two people to make a baby.
        Why are you taking responsibility for all sexual and reproductive problems?
        Your husband is equally responsible for both your sexual health.
        Tell your in-laws you’re planning a short vacation and use it to get him operated.

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  9. To answer your question, there aren’t any contraceptive laws in India. Not as far as I know. If your doctor prescribes it, you are free to take the pill, use condoms, get an IUD, a vasectomy, whatever. Heck, considering the issues we have with our population, I’d say that if there were laws in India, they’d be very much in favour of contraception.

    My advice is to talk to your doctor. First ask them how you can improve your health so that you can take the prescribed contraceptive. Ask them about your options at this point, what the safest route would be for you, right now.

    As for your husband, please consider getting a vasectomy. As some people have pointed out, vasectomies are quite effective and safe, and if done right, will take some of the responsibility off your shoulder. Notice I say some. Always keep in mind that contraceptives can screw up. Condoms can break. IUDs can be inserted incorrectly. Vasectomies can be botched. Your safest bet is to always use contraceptive on your end, and make sure your husband has a contraceptive on his end. Don’t leave the responsibility up to one person alone, it takes two to tango after all.

    As for your mother in law–well, she’s a ***** hypocrite. But you can’t do anything about that. I’m glad your husband is so supportive of you. You have him, and you have your family. She is of little, or even no consequence in your life right now. I don’t know why she concerns herself with such matters. They have absolutely NOTHING to do with her. My guess is that she’s just the type of person who needs to meddle in people’s life, and can’t sit still when others exert autonomy without consulting her first. Just ignore any type of shit storm she raises–she’s just being a child. That’s all.

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  10. This is infuriating. What’s up with the regressive doctors? I blame the doctor more than I blame anyone else. It’s the doctors job to inform her about all the options available.

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    • I wonder if you read the letter properly. Nowhere does the LW say that the doctor didn’t inform her about the available contraceptive options. The LW only mentions that the gynec simply refused an operation owing to some complications.

      And, the LW wants to know about contraceptive laws in India and any benefit a female can obtain from them. She ends the letter writing about the problem of leave from work which may be required in case of a possible operation. Hence the question about such laws (if any) and their possible benefits.

      Why do people jump at the slightest opportunity to blame doctors??

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  11. I have no idea about contraception laws. But since your gynac refused to do the procedure, can’t your husband get a vasectomy done?

    Also, your periods should not be any of your mother in laws business.

    Having said that, please take good care of your health. Eat sensibly and talk to your doctor about what exercise you can take up. I have recently started gymming and swimming. I have also started eating a lot of fruits and salads, and I feel better, more energetic and happier than ever🙂

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  12. Sorry to ask an off the track question. By JKG, do you mean ‘Joru Ka Gulaam’? If yes, then I find that offensive, even though I am a woman and a feminist. Why should a husband who you believe is ‘a lovely and understanding person’ be called a ‘wife’s slave’? It is exactly such terms that make some of the good men wary of demonstrating their goodness to their wives – for fear of getting such insulting labels. Just as it would be insulting for a wife to be called a ‘husband’s slave’.
    As for your question regarding contraception, other commenters have recommended excellent alternatives, including the all important suggestion of dumping your inefficient and ignorant current gynaec and finding a better one ASAP

    As for your MIL, does she help with taking care of your kids? If yes, is she worried that if you have another kid, it will add to her work? Is that the cause of her wanting you to get contraception? If that’s the case, once you and your husband have gotten the proper contraceptive plan in place, discuss it openly with her. Perhaps that will put her fears to rest.
    If that is not the case, and if the weird looks are just meant to be insulting, then ask your husband to ask her what’s bothering her and how it makes you uncomfortable. if she voices her misgivings verbally, then be prepared to have your verbal response ready as well. She has no business being judgemental about your periods and contraceptive life.

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    • In the context of discussions like these, the term Joru ka Ghulam is used against men who are willing to treat their wives like human beings and actually acknowledge the idea that they might have their own thoughts and opinions. JKG is used exclusively to deride, degrade and demoralize the men who believe that women should have equal rights, should be allowed to make own decisions without pressure from other people, and should be allowed to choose how they live their own lives. These are the kinds of men who are called “joru ka ghulam”. Because to the people who use this term as a pejorative, the very idea of a woman exercising her humanity takes a cudgel to the free passes they have got for so long. The loss of these free passes is what they consider “enslavement” when to any ordinary human being, it is just common sense.

      The men who bear these titles proudly do not feel insulted–because they know that the actual meaning the context of such discussions. People like my father, my uncle, my grandfather, the men in my life, they know that this is a title of pride rather than an insult. Because to be called a JKG means that they have stood up for the rights of another human being. Why should they not be proud of this? Why should this be insulting to them? Because of the wording? Words always have two different meanings. The literal meaning, and the contextual/colloquial meaning. In this case, the contextual meaning is a rather good one. So why should they be ashamed?

      The question here should not be as to why the term JKG is insulting to men, but why is the concept of female autonomy so insulting to men that they are considered “slaves” for even entertaining it.

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      • Exactly. Words are powerful. The terms “hen-pecked husband” and “JKG” have no female equivalents.
        A wife being dominated by her husband is seen to be natural and acceptable. Why is a dominating husband seen as a desirable, normative standard?
        The demonisation of assertive women and men who respect their wives is a harmful cultural meme that prevents people from both sexes from being their true selves.

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  13. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Why oh whyyy does your MIL keep track of your periods? Has her life lost all purpose?

    I have a suggestion. I have a few disgusting ex-roomies / current BFFs who love discussing poop. I would find the topic repulsive. And hence to bug me further, they had planned on maintaining a poop chart. A place where they could note down color, consistency, quantity, sound produced when it fell into the water and other supremely significant details of their daily poop for my reference. You must suggest that to your MIL. That might take off some of her interest in your periods.

    Oh wait…dont…there is a teensy possibility she might want to add your name and details to the chart too. Err..so bad idea. Sorry.

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  14. No one should be telling you when to have babies, when not to, and no one should be discussing your periods or contraception. That is strictly between you and your husband. Put your heads together, discuss the options with him and come up with something you are both comfortable with, and works in the best interests of your health issues.

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    • I divorced my husband because my younger brother in law asked me when are we planning to have kids? (This was one of the many reasons) My reply was “What?” He reiterated the question, I said “Ask your brother, he does not want kids…”

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      • I just reread my comment, he actually asked me “when are you guys planning to have kids?”, please ignore the offensive grammar mistake in my previous post.

        My dad and mom made me sit through many sessions to stop me taking such a decision, I never discussed my problems with them, as and when they happened (Many husbands feel that their wives discuss every petty fight with their parents) , as I thought they may not digest the fact that I am leading an unhappy marital life. But my dad was blaming me for not adjusting enough. I could not take it and asked my dad, “Did you ever ask your sister-in-law about when she and your brother were planning to have babies?” My dad could not answer but I think he got a clear picture of how much disgust I stored inside for my in-laws. The major reason I decided to call it off was that I could not bear the fact that I am associated with such an indecent family.

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  15. Tell your husband to tell HIS mother to get her nose out of your business. Whether or not you want another child is none of her business. If your husband really loves you and respects you as an individual, he will have no problem telling his mother.

    Imagine if you and your husband go and live for sometime in your parents house. Now imagine if your dad keeps track of your husbands bathroom habits and one morning says, usually you poop every morning but its 9am why havent you pooped yet? Wont your husband find that creepy? There are boundaries to every relationship and your MIL has crossed hers.

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    • This reminds of a particular TV show.😀 The husband had diabetes, one of the symptoms for which was excessive urination I think? His wife (who was a nurse) told him that he’d gone to the restroom ten times already, at which point he got horribly affronted and told her to mind her own business (he wasn’t diagnosed at this point).

      The point is, people will react in such a way, even if you mean well, because bodily functions tend to be our own business. Why should any one else be aware of them (unless something is off)?

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    • my FIL actually does that and will openly comment on who didnt go on their usual time or for their usual duration on which day, whose time it is now and wont mind proudly saying that he himself is very regular and everyday goes at such and such time!! I find it soooo disgusting!!! I cant poop now at my in-laws place as I keep imagining him standing outside noting the time, duration, and who knows prob. sound and smell!!

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      • Ditto with my MIL…she even told my husband that she is worried that I don’t eat my breakfast properly because I don’t poop for days…uggh!!!

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      • I’ve never understood how many Indian families have a complete lack of boundaries.
        My ex-MIL told me that I should wear loose clothing because “they were quite big” (her exact words).
        Also the unhealthy obsession with a newly married couple’s sex life.

        My ex-SIL complained to my mother that my nighly showers were stopping her brother from exercising his rights. Her words were, “When will my brother have sex if she bathes at night?”
        I guess I ought to be grateful that my ex-MIL and SIL didnt demand ringside seats next to the marital bed.

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  16. 1. Stop staying with your mil.
    2. If your husband is so supportive, why don’t you get him to protect you from your MIL? Why should you put up with her nonsense? Get him to talk to her & warn him there will be lot of tears and drama.
    3. Take care of your health and work on improving it. Having kids with such poor health does not make you a martyr, it makes you cranky, having to do so much work, with poor health.
    4. Look up the internet for more contraceptive options for you & your husband & meet a good gynaec.
    5. Stop following period superstitions – like not going to temple, not touching certain things. Break them, so that your MIL cannot always know when you have periods.

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  17. What is there to think much in this? The husband being supportive itself is a big thing..why can’t he get operated? And counting your periods, it sucks…but they do..My own mother counts my sister’s periods as she had two miscarriages in a row and it pisses me off big time. I say her, keep quiet. She will have a baby when she has to.

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  18. This is just bizarre. If you and your husband discussed you getting a tubal ligation but you were not able to get it done during your last c-section this is what you should do:
    1. Ignore your mother-in-law completely. This is none of her business and tell it clearly that it’s not.
    2. Sit down and discuss your future family planning strategies with your husband. What methods are you currently using? I get the impression that you might not be using any birth control right now? That is a little scary. You need to start using temporary methods such as condoms or birth control pills immediately.
    3. Then you need to discuss your long term plans. If your family is complete which it sounds like you think it is, you should discuss what your preferences are. Whether you want permanent sterilization or a long term temporary contraceptive such as the IUD or pills. If you want permanent sterilization it sounds like it’s best if your husband gets a vasectomy. It’s far less invasive than the female equivalent and has a much faster recovery time and is much cheaper too. In your case it sounds like you aren’t in a state to get an invasive operation right now. If you decide to go with temporary methods make sure you pick something that you are comfortable with and know the risks of. As someone else pointed out pills and IUDs have very small but real levels of failure too.
    If you can’t get a gynecologist to discuss these options clearly with you look for another one until you find someone who does.

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  19. I am completely family loving but I too am against such nosiness from the MIL’s. My husband and I weren’t allowed to sleep in the same room! He asked to buy a queen sized bed for us and she said no! She also tried to starve me, slander and spread lies to her relatives and took most of our income. Finally couldn’t take it anymore and told my husband you can live here with your mommy while our son andI will move out because of the abuse she was doing behind his back as well. Needless to say, two years later we are happily together and got our mommy issues solved with counseling and we see her once a month. My husband has changed from a lil boy to a doting 37 year old father of two. All the reasoning didn’t help with her, I suggest you and your husband move out before you sink into depression and live the life best needed for your children. Joyfilled with a sound mind.

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  20. Please have a talk with your gynec…If your gynec chooses one method of birth control for you, and if you are nto comfortable with it,jsut say it out. Or change the gynec. check out the web for natural contraception methods, and try if it will work out for you. Check out condoms, pills, IUDs, natural methods, etc etc. Try alternative medicines like ayurveda and homeo for their birth control options. Dont worry.. your problem can be solved without affecting your health.

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  21. I work with an international Family planning organization in India and there are lots of options for contraception. You can have a tubal ligation (tubes tied) at any time. As many pointed out, a vasectomy is much easier and simpler operations. Personally, I have an IUD (Mirena) which lasts for 5 years and I love. I’ve had it for more than 2 years with no problems– although someone mentioned they got pregnant on the IUD that is highly unlikely to happen– you just have to check the strings and make sure it is still in place every once in a while. There are also the copper IUDs which last for 10 years.

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