“This man is openly threatening his daughter and is instigating others to burn alive their daughters.”

Desi Girl of girlsguidetosurvival shared this:

The bar has not yet taken Suo moto on this lawyer’s statement but is waiting for a written complaint. This man is openly threatening his daughter and is instigating others to burn alive their daughters for transgressions he and others like him do not approve. Women as daughters, wives and sisters are not independent citizens of an independent democracy but are cows to be herded.

HOW ABOUT WE DRAFT A WRITTEN COMPLAINT AND FILE IT WITH THE BAR BY YOUR BLOG AND BLOG READERS- WE CAN SIGN A PETITION. – Delhi gang-rape case: Would have burned my daughter alive for premarital sex, defence lawyer says

When Anil Singhal first shared a link to this threat, I simply assumed that the idea of protecting the rapists and burning alive daughters for consensual sex would be universally condemned. But that was an underestimation the Indian obsession with the sex lives of other people specially with the sex lives of women, including the women we are related to. The same obsession with women’s sexuality (denial of) and sex lives (we believe other people have the right to decide who women have sex with, not doing that makes them ‘impure’ and unworthy of respect, safety, life etc) is what silences the victims of child abuse and rape by family members (including marital rape). These comments echo this mindset.



Many Indians believe that the sex lives of everyone’s sisters and daughters is everyone’s business. It’s so important that brutal crimes can be permitted to ensure the women do not see themselves as sexual beings.

SO … to all who agree that AP Singh has given bad statement… You so agree that everyone’s sister and daughters should indulge in pre marital sex..!! nice going people.. [rahul.arrorra]


Which social value is maintained by preventing an adult from choosing who they go out with, live with, sleep with or marry?  If women do not interact with men – how are they going to meet future partners? But it seems the biggest ‘moral value’ for some Indians is preventing young Indians (specially women) from choosing their own partners.

your daughter goes with boy friend. what do you do? (here my intention is that every parent must take responsible to maintain social values)


Maybe the real concern is that if Indian women started choosing their own partners, then the parents and family elders of Indian male misogynists would find it impossible to find them wives? (Obedient and dependent wives with horoscopes matched, with dowry and a willingness to bear them male heirs)

i am asking one question below commentors who are commenting against him. all are OK that your daughter or sister could go with her boy friend.


Some other comments believe burning of adults who make choices that we disapprove of is ‘a personal matter’. So is it okay to kill, burn, beat, threaten someone so long as the neighbours do not hear about it?

Why comment on such matters in the Public domain ??? Showbiz people always hog the limelight to remain in focus for the audience all the while but this defence lawyer who pulled this Delhi bus case for over 9 months should not have opened his mouth for such comments and shows his attitude We hope in the future Lawyers will have to be carefully given the case and should not air their personal comments like APSingh did


Some others believe that ‘physical relationship’ should not be ‘entertaining’  and that ‘premarital sex break families and will bring embarrassment to parents‘.  Consensual premarital sex will ‘break families’? If families can only be saved by controlling who women and children marry or live with, then are these families meant only for non-women? Or do we believe that everybody knows what is best for the Indian woman except the Indian woman herself? And who finds premarital sex ’embarrassing’ but not marriages based on horoscopes, skin colour, obedience, income and dowry? Or child marriage, marital rape, semi forced marriages and expectations of male heirs from newly wed wives ?  It seems some of us find sex ’embarrassing’ only when the woman chooses the partner.

Let the whole critics blame you. But I do strongly support you Sir. Pre martial $ex is really a shameful one. Parents are not gonna make their children nuns or fathers. They are gonna get them married only. So why do the children need to have pre martial $ex. Why the hell can’t they wait till tying the knot. . ?? Physical relationship has become just an entertainment for people, many don’t understand the love in it. Everybody wish India to be a cultural country, but criticise the man who gives bold statement about saving that culture. Shame on you people. To any extend pre martial sex should be discouraged. Encouraging it will only break families and will bring embarrassment to parents.


But not all the comments saw gang rapes as an opportunity to remind Indian women to marry and have sex with the someone their parents chose.  Here’s a comment I  agree with.

And what if same thing done by the same lawyers son?? definitely he will not burn him, our legal system should give more harsh punishment to these type of peoples, so that the defence lawyers should think twice before speaking in public. [Abhijit Guharoy (Bangalore)]

Related Posts:

Letting an outsider see or comment upon our imperfections is washing dirty linen in public?

13 things Indian Misogynists believe about men’s mothers and sisters.

Why exactly do we disapprove of Live-in relationships and Premarital sex?

“There is so little conversation about a woman’s desire for sex that a lot of people simply assume it doesn’t exist.”

“why not marry them first and then have sex ? What prevents you from doing it ? Deep within YOU WANT JUST SEX and nothing more”

BJP and Trinamool are objecting to a lower age of consent on the ground that this is in conflict with “conservative norms” of Indian society.

“A clandestine, and irresponsible, affair may prove dangerous. A city girl learnt it the hard way,”

Why do we hear concerned voices about ‘misuse of freedom’ the moment we talk about Freedom?

Live in Relationships: The man gets a temporary disposable wife?

Don’t let me down dear daughter!

“Can anyone guarantee that absolute empowerment of women thru feminism will improve the social balance and not give rise to new social problems?”

Dear 35 year old would be groom,

Irresponsible girls who throw away their lives while in throes of lust for the completely wrong person…

72 thoughts on ““This man is openly threatening his daughter and is instigating others to burn alive their daughters.”

  1. Have posted my views on this topic, have a read those who are interested. http://www.sidoscope.co.in/2013/09/shudh-desi-blog.html#axzz2exqdMRMB

    Snap for those who would not like to read,

    ‘To be very honest, he was not entirely wrong. He is simply followed the old school of thought that is being hammered into the brain of every Indian mind since childhood. Stay in your limits, don’t venture out, bad things happened to those who fall out of line are all lessons passed on by the very intelligent elders which the lawyer was a mere latest recipient. He is not the only one, every third person who you bump into will agree with the lawyer. Every fourth person you bump will go on and say that those who venture out and get into trouble actually deserve it. Few will go on and actually give the person, punishment as the person ‘deserves’.’


    • Every fourth or, third or second person might say it. That does NOT make what he said right. I don’t understand how you can say “he wasn’t entirely wrong”! WTH! He WAS wrong. It is another matter that the majority think like him too. That does not automatically make the majority right.


    • Just because it is hammered into the brain does not make it right. He is a lawyer, a supposedly ‘educated’ creed of people, if he let’s others hammer his brain and not use it as his own, it is an alarming state of matter


      • AP Singh, the defence lawyer in the Delhi gang-rape case said-
        “If my daughter was having premarital sex and moving around at night with her boyfriend, I would have burnt her alive. I would not have let this situation happen. All parents should adopt such an attitude,” referring to the gang-rape case infront of media persons.
        This is unfortunately the way many Indians think.
        Burning people alive (whether they are family members or not) is not acceptable because it has been ‘hammered into your mind since birth’ or because you think the person ‘deserves’ it for whatever reason.
        This using violence or threatening violence to solve problems in India has to got to stop.
        Same goes for slapping someone because they are staring at you.


        • What I find ironic in all this is that no one is talking about burning those guys alive because they were actively looking for premarital sex at night. Every night. But somehow that is not shameful. Its only shameful and worthy of being burnt alive if you were born without a penis.
          A very small aside but it irked me every time Nirbhaya was referred to as a ‘girl’ who was out at ‘night’. Not that either of that is wrong. But sticking to the facts right now is that she was not a ‘girl’ but a grown woman, an adult of 23 yrs of age who was out at 8:30 pm. BECAUSE there wasn’t a bus available for her at 7 pm. She was out IMO at a very reasonable time for an adult to be out. Are we going to pretend that this wouldn’t have happened if she had been alone and not with her boyfriend? If she had been returning from classes instead of a movie?
          Something is very wrong with a society that questions the right of an adult to be out doing completely normal things and trying to return home in the evening at 7-8 pm.
          There is so much talk about controlling ‘our daughters’. There is no talk about controlling ‘our sons’. Because apparently Indian men are worse than dogs and can’t even be trained to not hump every thing that moves and not pee at every wall they see. I am surprised more Indian men are not taking offense at this implication. That they are so weak of character and will that there cannot be any hope of asking them to control themselves.


    • Every person in the world might hold a certain opinion, but if that opinion infringes upon the right of another human being to live their life freely without fear of death for the choices they make, then that opinion is WRONG. It does not matter how many people hold that opinion. It does not matter if every single person in the world holds this opinion. It is not justifiable to say that daughters must be burned for having pre-marital sex simply because of societal norms that a person is brought up under. If a person makes such a statement, not only do their views have to change, but societal norms have to shift as well. Numbers do not make something alright. If everybody told you to jump off a cliff, would you?


    • “he was not entirely wrong”

      Can you please explain how burning someone alive is ever not entirely wrong? Is sati not entirely wrong then? What’s the difference?


      • no no he was not wrong!
        men are never wrong even if they go fooling around and have sex with 20 women before marriage as my husband did, not feel guilty at all and blame you continuously for being in love with a guy before marriage, who ditched you.
        Men are absolutely right even if they kill someone, rape someone or anything.


    • Doesn’t matter what society or very third or fourth person believes. This guy is a sworn in lawyer who I presume got a law degree somewhere, so he of all people should absolutely know that burning another human being is illegal and a criminal activity without any justification what so ever. He is not some illiterate villager, he is an educated lawyer who happily believes and advocates to other through mass media that burning women is acceptable and encouraged. I don’t care what women do, pre-martial sex, roam around at midnight, whatever, nothing ever justifies burning them. Absolutely disgusting human being, education won’t do anything to change such Indian mindsets. Such lawyers should be de-barred and their licences taken away. How dare he preach violence against women with impunity as his fucking god given right as an Indian man who can very conveniently twist the meaning of criminal violence when it comes to controlling women?


    • They thought the world was flat – Earth still remains round.
      They thought that the sun revolved around the earth – Still it did not change.

      Even if 99% people think something, it does not change the truth or make it right.


  2. People were arrested for ‘liking’ a harmless Facebook update. And here is someone openly inciting men to kill daughters and sisters who disobey them. Yet where is the outrage that should have been total? This shows conclusively, the worth we as woman hold in society.


  3. For God’s sake most girls get raped and molested at home, by immediate family and relatives! The man got 5 seconds of fame and air time, and it got to his head. He went overboard, and I think his licence should be revoked.


    • Rightly said , Even now as the veil over the word rape has comeout after the Dec16 , we are talking on it freely , people do not snub u or feel awkward on this topic , The Rapes are more prominent inside household – 90% approx and talking on that is a still no no ..in Denial…and people like him are ok with it…This man should be arrested under 503 for threatening his daughter publicly .


  4. I so agree with last comment , why he is so concerned about his daughter having pre-marital sex and no word about what his reaction will be if his son is involved in the crime . If after such crimes every parent had a talk with their sons that I will be the first one to get you arrested ( and not kill ) if you are even remotely involved in any criminal activity ( harassment , rape , attempt to rape, filming females in nude with or without their knowledge and then circulating the content etc ) or will throw you out of home if you whistle , follow or say nasty things to any female , we will have a better society .


    • its high time, indian males have to be taught about chivalry, respecting women, maintaining manners and handling them delicately and this has to be taught right from the kinder garden, of course parents too need to learn that.


  5. He is just enjoying his 5 seconds of fame. He is as confidant as those rapists he defended who always believed that they will be free in no time.
    I wont be surprised if he is aiming to get into Big Boss 8 by uttering all this crap.


  6. Its time all Indian woman rebel and start having premarital sex and choosing their own life partners..let these mysogenists harp…..wat can they so if the whole generation rebels?? Burn everyone ??
    I wish we had time machines and send these idiots back to 15th century


    • The fifteenth century folk would spit people like these back with a letter saying, “Keep your filth in your own time, thanks. We don’t need them here.”


  7. How different is this lawyer,from the 4 criminals ?
    They committed a crime.He talks about committing a crime.
    Both are equally bad.
    There is nothing honorable about wanting to kill a person,be it your own kith and kin or a stranger, for whatever reason.
    When will people get this simple logical fact?


  8. And if I may ask all the “IMMORAL DAUGHTERS”( as these misogynists label them) have pre-marital sex with your sons and brothers( men) will you burn them alive too?
    This is one big reason why girls are not sent to colleges, they are married off early, there is the pressure of dowry because some lettered but uneducated men dictate that women STEPPING out of the imaginary laxman rekha they draw must face the consequences.
    Pity is such a pathetic word but I pity all women related to this kind of men.


  9. I truly love how the commentators on that news story have decided that simply because a person condemns honour killings, this automatically means that they MUST support their daughters having pre-marital sex. I mean, the thought that a family might be able to resolve its differences peacefully does not even occur to them. It does not occur that the parents can have traditional values, but still be okay with their children not holding such values dear. Nope. If you don’t agree that women must be burned for having sex, then you must be permitting the moral decay of society.


  10. So this lawyer believes he has a right to ‘manage’ and ‘control’ his family the way he chooses to – pouring petrol and setting on fire, beat, threaten, chop – ‘My family, I handle the way I like and no law can interfere.’


  11. My humble answers to the questions numbered,

    1- I can’t tell them that they should indulge in pre-martial sex, but they definitely should have the right to chose so.

    2- I be very happy that my baby has grown up.

    3- Same as 2.

    5- You can have love in pre-marital sex. May be my kids are not ready to settle down with someone but still love them enough to get intimate with them. May be they have some goals in life which hinders them from tying the knot right now, why should it mean that they can’t enjoy sex? May be they are dealing with complicated issues or are just not sure about someone. Why should it hinder in having sex, as long as they understand the risks involved and take good care to minimize them.

    6- Son or daughter, no body should be burned for it or for anything.


    • I like they way you have calmly and politely expressed your views. I, on the other hand, start frothing and seething in rage everytime i hear such people!


  12. I have been seething in anger ever since I heard the man on TV. Actually I actually thought I heard him wrong the first time I heard it and turned to my husband to confirm if he said what I thought he did! Its alarming that a lawyer could very blatantly say something like this, knowing fully well that what he proposed is a criminal and illegal act! It makes me wonder if strong laws can really deter criminal acts? Changing the way our society thinks never felt so urgent as it feels today. The education system needs to be holistic with less emphasis on marks and more on all round development at least at the primary school level. We need a system which makes children think and form opinions rather than learning by rote.. otherwise these degrees are meaningless!


  13. I have nothing but disgust for anyone who thinks they have the right to burn women in their family alive for any reason at all. There is no debate about this. You cannot burn other people alive. You don’t like pre-marital sex? Don’t have pre-marital sex. You have no right to impose your morals on anyone else, not even if you are related to them. This man needs to be prosecuted.

    Apart from this, were the rapists married to this woman? So why does the lawyer not mind their pre-marital rape, by his own logic? Why did he defend them? He minds pre-marital sex but not murder? Anyone who agrees with any part of his statement is seriously messed up and needs to reflect upon this.


  14. Wow premarital sex with consent is wrong but raping someone brutally is not and he actually defends them? What a man and a lawyer at that. He is saying all this because he thinks he can get away with it just like the rapists thought.


    • You are forgetting that the men he’s defending lost control and raped because “men will be men”. But women must uphold sanskar and not “tempt” men by being bold or stepping outside the home or “answer back” to her male guardians. **Sigh**

      I wonder why this term “answer back” riles me up like few other terms do!


  15. All of this is about the illusion of safety and social control. Consider this from earlier this month: No skirts, shorts, spaghetti tops on Delhi University study trip

    If the administrators been concerned about “safety” they wouldn’t have posted phone numbers online in the first place, available to all and sundry. I don’t know how easy it is to block numbers or change mobile numbers in India, especially for minors, but in the US it is a pain.

    It’s very “naam ke vaste”.


  16. I agree with DG – a written complaint should be made. For a lawyer to advocate criminal activity is beyond the pale.
    My friend just passed the bar exam in California and she says, among many other requirements to be admitted into the bar, they need “evidence of candor and honesty, respect for the law and the rights of others, fiscal responsibility, and records of fidelity and trustworthiness in other professions for which he or she is licensed”. Notice the obvious, no brainer, “respect for the law and the rights of others”
    I’m sure the Indian legal institutions have something similar. Based on his public statement and advocacy of crime, he could be legally disbarred.


  17. I didn’t know going out with a guy means having premarital sex. That makes me positively promiscuous, then. The number of guys I have gone for a movie with! Oh, and may I add that I am a lesbian too, since I have gone for movies with many more girls! Does that make me more sinful than only having premarital sex with boys?
    I may be sounding cynical, but I think many people have condemned him only because he is defending Jyoti’s rapists and not really for his horrifying statements here. If he were any random person on the streets and not the rapists’ defense lawyer, there would be many many more people endorsing his view. Already there are plenty of people who subscribe to what he says, only they are either cautiously feeble in voicing their assent (lest they be verbally massacred for supporting the rapists’ defense lawyer) or their voices have been drowned amidst the outrage against the rapists’ defense lawyer.


  18. It is very likely that the girls parents thought this way as well. It is also likely that they were not aware she was with a man. That is the reason she was in a rush to get back. That is the reason she got into a bus because she was scared that reaching late would make her parents question her. I think I read somewhere that her companion was not in favor of getting on a chartered bus but she insisted as she was really late and no autos were agreeing. If only she had the freedom to call her parents, tell them she was with her boyfriend and they are looking for an auto and it might take longer than she originally planned, she would still be here.


    • What I mean is that not only does such reasoning insult women, it also makes children lie to their parents which is the most risky thing a child can do. I want to know who my children are meeting online and in real life, who their friends are and its up to me to give them the confidence to be able to share their lives with me.


  19. I seriously have no words to describe the filth that this Mr AP Singh has stored in his brain.

    Why do these so called ‘educated’ people have to demean a victim who has long gone and has had a traumatic death! I just pray, because that is all I can do, that the filth this person has in his mind should be washed off! And what better than an iron rod? If he would be inflicted with just an iota of suffering that Nirbhaya has gone through, may be only then he will shut up and know moral policing is really easy than to go through the pain! And ya, may be then even we can think of burning him down because he will no more be ‘pure’.

    *wicked grin*


  20. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Girl-has-disease-that-draws-her-to-men-Asarams-lawyer/articleshow/22638001.cms
    Please go through the link. If a senior advocate can give a statement like this it is better to be uneducated. He should provide the name of the so called chronic disease. What the hell is happening to Indians. If a senior advocate has this type of view , what will happen to our Justice system which is already biased .


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  22. I am not surprised by the statement issued by this man…what else can you expect from a society where women are constantly under scrutiny right from birth by a certain morality police! People in India forget that women are also born on this earth with equal rights to everything and are intelligent and smart to differentiate the right from the wrong. And what amuses me is the fact that how someone can be so proud declaring publicly about killing his own flesh and blood! Disgraceful! No one has the right to take away life from anyone…Bringing someone to the world does not give the authority to take it away from them too!!


  23. Again, it’s “the evil woman’s fault”. Since when did a girl going to a movie with a friend = “roaming around, having premarital sex”. How presumptuous. And secondly, who f***ing cares???
    So, any girl who basically leaves the house, should be burned alive or have her intestines ripped out???? Of course, nothing about the men who committed those brutal crimes. Because they do not need to be controlled, apparently….???
    This “lawyer” and every like-thinking person needs to be put on house arrest, imprisoned in their own house – his mindset is an absolute danger to society. How can people say such things???


    • A girl should (Asaram style) call every random man on the street ‘bhaiya’ and if ever she feels the need to step out of the house it should be with her father or brother. A girl is the exclusive property of her father and then her husband. She should not have any friends at all – neither when she is unmarried nor she is married. This man also believes he MUST exercise control on his daughter to the extent that he decides who she talks to, what she studies, what career she gets into, what clothes she wears, who should or should not call her, who should or should not text her, what she watches on TV, what she does inside the house, what she does outside the house, etc etc etc.

      This, and so much more, in the video below. You have to see it to believe it.


  24. Oh, wow. And just when we were thinking this couldn’t get any worse, here’s the fourth part of a TV news channel debate on this moron. I have also posted the other three parts, but the fourth one first. Obviously if you want to see the whole debate, please see it in the order of the parts. But I wanted to highlight this precious little gem from the fourth part:

    (Loosely quoted): “Meri biwi mere pairon ka charnamrit leti hai roz. Jab tak wo mere pair ke angoothe ka charnamrit nahin le leti tab tak ann ka ek daana bhi muh mein nahin daalti.”

    Translated: “My wife consumes the wash of my feet everyday (ie, the water used to wash his feet). Till the time she does not consume it, she does not put a single grain of food in her mouth.”

    Cultural significance (particularly for non-Indians): “Washing the feet and drinking that water (the wash of the feet) is supposedly the ultimate act of devotion towards someone. Usually this is reserved for ‘gods’ and ‘goddesses’ – those who are worshipped. But in this context, the man in question believes (like unfortunately many people in India) that a husband is a living god for his wife, and therefore she should hold the same devotion for him as she would for god. In fact, in ancient Indian culture the husband is higher than any god or deity – to worship the husband is the primary and only duty of a woman. The ancient texts in fact say that if a woman worships only her husband and rejects god, then she is given the highest regard by even the gods in the afterworld. Also, if she worships her husband as god then even the gods worship her – she need not then bow before any other god since she herself becomes worshippable – if there’s a word like that – to the gods.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=up4wDltrdQQ – Part 4

    That’s the bit where the ‘gem’ is.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgW7sh4wdTk – Part 1
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=purbK_rS-ys – Part 2
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GoeFEeMxSs – Part 3

    Really, I don’t know what to say to such people! And how do we protect their female family members? The wife who is enslaved thus! And the daughter who faces a death threat (and no ordinary death threat – she can be BURNT ALIVE) if she dares to, as per him, ‘fall out of line’.

    I am scared. Scared because I don’t know what the random person on the street thinks about me when I step out, and what they might do to e without my expecting or even knowing it. Those people have just been emboldened, thanks to this man.


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  36. I always wonder why male sexuality has such freedom. Eliminate immoral men from society, and our daughters will have no worries. A man who looks for premarital sex will not be a good husband. A man who looks at porn will be a bad husband.


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