Sharing an email.
Hi. I read the email you published about eating without showering [link]. I thought of sharing my own experience with you and asking you and your readers for some advice regarding the same.
I have been married into a joint family for a year and a half. The family includes my mother and father in law, my husband’s elder brother and his wife and kid and a daadi saas.
Something has been pinching me for a while. Although my in laws maintain a facade of being very content with what they have and never asking the girl’s side for anything, but they are constantly criticising their elder son’s wife and her family for never sending anything. ‘Beti wale kam se kam mithai ka dibba toh bhej hi sakte hain.’ is a line hear all the time. I’m from a well to do family and my parents do give them tokens, no matter how much I tell them not to. I honestly believe that my in laws do not talk crap about my family because they get these gifts, which they accept readily.
Things are getting worse though. The other day, my jethani was talking about a girl whose parents had given the boy’s parents 101 gold ginnis for a function. So my FIL, with his sad sense of humour, said something about asking his bahus’ families for the same.
All of this has really started irritating me. I spoke to my husband about it and he started his same old pravachan about me not understanding how wonderful his family is.
How should I deal with this?
I would really appreciate the feedback of your readers too. As for my parents, they refuse to listen. They tell me that they need to fulfil their duties, regardless of what anyone does.