Sharing an email.
Like Suja Jones in the previous post, this email writer also says she can understand why Indian women are driven to take their own lives.
Do we have clear laws against forced marriages? What are the options open to young Indian women who are being forcibly ‘married off’, while they are still dependent on their parents?
This email was in sms lingo, I have translated most of it, made no other changes.
Subject: Is my fate sealed too?? I dnt want it to be… Help me
Dear kalpana chawla… I have always imagined you in the stars and spoken to you when ever I was in distress. I made you my role model long long back. I also promised you that i would fulfill every dream of mine like you did. When ever there was a talk at home “You are a girl dont do this don’t do that ( girls are tagged khandan ki izzat rite???) ” I remembered your story where you convinced your parents and went all the way to america to achieve your goals. I thought even mine would understand my goals and I would have my life as mine completely..
Bt it all turns out to be wrong. I have just completed my studies and not even started a job in which I wish to excel and there is the famous “Marriage Talk”. When I said that I don’t want to marry and, I want to achieve something in life, today there are people coming to see me and that’s done without my knowledge. If they ask me I will say no so they are saying just a few relatives are coming. But I’m not a fool I know what it is all.
I have decided that I won’t marry. I understand y girls commit suicide or run away from homes now.. I can’t waste my life for people who don’t even care about my dreams. Don’t want to run away and create an impression on my relatives that studies spoil a girl. Only thing i can thing I can think of now is to take a spoon of boiling oil and put on my cheeks. I will see then who marries a girl with burnt face… Cant think of any other alternative.
IHM I felt the bloggers in your site understand what it is to be a girl and dream big too. Some one has to stop these old methods if the level of women must improve. I will fulfill my dreams but i don’t know how to get Rid of this marriage talk. My male friends are sure that my fate is sealed lik any other girl’s and I will never achieve anything. My female friends can’t think beyond marriage and having kids and settling down. Your blogs give me relief and i feel there r ppl who think lik me. Plz help me on tis. I need suggestions. We need to change ourselves to b d change in world. I hav decided to change. Help me out.
– Help me.
Links to news related to Forced Marriages:
Bhubaneswar : The 16-year-old’s marriage was fixed after she failed in the Class 10 examination. The family even performed an engagement ceremony despite her protest.
Jodhpur : A 20-year-old girl has sought protection by the Rajasthan authorities from members of a village community council who, she says, are threatening her with serious consequences if she did not accept her childhood marriage, officials said on Monday.
Jaipur : A 15-year-old girl has complained against her father in Rajasthan saying he was forcing her to marry an elderly person, police said on Monday.
The Class 10 student told police that her father was trying to fix her marriage by chargingRs.35,000 from the would be in laws.
London : Forcing someone to marry against their will; a practice often reported from communities in Britain with origins in the Indian sub-continent, will soon become a criminal offence, Premier David Cameron announced on Friday, comparing it with “slavery”…. Most cases involve individuals with origins in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.