How do women (and men, and the society) benefit from women marrying men who earn more than they do and are older and more educated than they are?
“Most of the bride’s parents have a predetermined level of education and salary range that they expect the groom to fit into.”
Sharing an email from a prospective groom.
I’ve been a reader of your blog, and think I have a topic you could consider worthy of a debate. Answers to this would really help me sort out my confusion:
Can I request that my name be blocked out because I’d much rather not have my family/extended family know I’m asking such questions? :) These kind of questions aren’t exactly encouraged in my family.
I’ve been living abroad for many years now, and have lost touch with a lot of the Indian customs and traditions. After years of not being able to find a partner, my parents decided to start the task of bride searching. Some proposals came in on a popular website, and most of the bride’s parents have a predetermined level of education and salary range that they expect the groom to fit into. I’ve seen them ask that the groom earn as much as 3-6 times the girl’s salary (in Indian rupees), or earn above a certain salary range in US dollars that would only fit graduates from top-league Universities having crème-de-la-crème jobs (better paying than an equivalent job at any of the largest software corporations in the US).
I live in this utopian world where the guy and girl earn a salary that is sufficient for a good living, the salary breakup would be irrelevant if the couple found each other, but in an arranged marriage, one would only tolerate a certain amount of disparity (not a 3x-6x disparity) as the expectation is that each partner be equally responsible in all departments.
I find this line of thinking from the girl’s parents quite confusing.
Does this mean that they consider ‘lesser successful’ boys unappealing? Or an alternate but scary line of thought is that the girl’s salary is considered unimportant (meaning she has no financial responsibility towards the family). One more possibility is that I have my bearings wrong, and I’d like to be corrected :)