Response from the email writer who wrote, “His parents had already found a girl from his community who they feel is ‘perfect’ for him.”
Thank you for posing my problem on your blog, and I would like to thank each and every person who commented.
Your comments did help me in getting out of this solution, though not in a way that I had hoped for, but hopefully this is the best solution for long run.
Some of the comments had raised very logical questions, that made me really sit back and reevaluate.
I did have a long discussion with L about the issues raised in my mind, but the answers that I got shocked me! At times during the discussions I felt I was talking to a 3 year old kid and not a 24 year old man!
The reason that he said that he ‘has to” do what his dad has asked him to do ‘even if it does not make him happy’, is that he feels his dad has gone through many troubles in his life and he does not want to add to his troubles.
I still dont understand this! How will a marriage with me add to his dad’s troubles?
All said and done, he is going to ‘sacrifice’ his love and marry the girl of his dad’s choice.
I will not pretend that this decision did not hurt me. But, now that I think about it, maybe it’s all for the best, you know.
Even if we had ended up getting married, his dad would have always seen me as the outsider my happiness would have never been in consideration (i mean if the son’s happiness is not considered, how will the outside-of-samaj DIL’s happiness ever be noticed),
And from the way L was defending his dad’s decision, I dont think he would ever have been able to support me in future.
So, thank you IHM, and your readers for everything and hopefully I will find someone who stands by me soon, till then i’l enjoy the ‘me’ time and work out and shop more!