Sharing an email from an Indian daughter in law’s young sister, who is worried that this is the future that awaits her too.
indian daughter in-law is servant?
My elder sister done love marriage. Both family are not very happy, but my parents support my didi because they believe in freedom. My parents are not happy because they know groom’s family, his mother is so orthodox and my parents know she never understand didi.
She is doctor and open minded girl, we both are grow-up like boy our parents never treat us as we are girls so no ‘don’t do that and don’t do this‘. I don’t have any brother.
Starting from their engagement her in-law have created problem. After marriage it is very difficult to handle her mother-in-law. We think that this marriage will not work and at that time her in-law want baby, we are not ready because still didi can’t adjust with her in-law. (didi – older sister)
In this year I think I have to face all this in my future. If you are well educated, equally like the groom, then why after marriage you have to follow your in-law you have to give first priority to groom’s mother, relatives, and then your parents?
Why the life is so difficult for a girl?
In first year of her marriage her mother-in-law told she will do didi’s delivery at her home but now she told we do nothing you have to arrange all. She always wants to be grandmother but don’t want to take any responsibility. (IHM: I think this means bearing the cost of the medical expenses and functions and gifts after the grand child’s birth)
I don’t understand in india after marriage girl is servant who do job, has to handle home, to be mother, take responsibility. But being father a boy just do earning nothing else.
Her mother-in-law can invite her family members many time but not think for daughter-in-law. Just being DIL you have to take care of every people but not for you and your parents.
I always hear “a boy’s parents take care of boy that way you get groom so DIL have to take care for them”. So girl’s parents do nothing for their daughter? They don’t take care to make her daughter doctor? (girl is not doctor from her birth) and a girl leave her parents her family it is nothing like new. It is rivaz (custom).
And after marriage a boy leave family then DIL responsible for it. She is consider to be a bad DIL and so on. I can’t understand this difference same girl has to leave her family then she is good but if his husband leave his family then girl is not good?