Watch Tony Porter At TEDWomen. Telling powerful stories from his own life, he shows how this mentality, drummed into so many men and boys, can lead men to disrespect, mistreat and abuse women and each other.
Link shared by Prem Chowdhury.
And if you can’t watch the video, read the transcript here, Transcript for Tony Porter: A call to men.
This part made me think of the gang rapes we read about in the news everyday.
“As he opens the door, he says to me, “Do you want some?” Now I immediately knew what he meant… “Do you want some?” meant one of two things: sex or drugs — and we weren’t doing drugs. Now my box, my card, my man box card, was immediately in jeopardy.
One, I never had sex. We don’t talk about that as men. You only tell your dearest, closest friend, sworn to secrecy for life, the first time you had sex. For everybody else, we go around like we’ve been having sex since we were two. There ain’t no first time. (Laughter)
The other thing:
I couldn’t tell him is that I didn’t want any. That’s even worse. We’re supposed to always be on the prowl.
Women are objects, especially sexual objects.
Anyway, so I couldn’t tell him any of that… I just simply said to Johnny, “Yes.” He told me to go in his room. I go in his room. On his bed is a girl from the neighborhood named Sheila. She’s 16 years old. She’s nude. She’s what I know today to be mentally ill, higher-functioning at times than others. We had a whole choice of inappropriate names for her. Anyway, Johnny had just gotten through having sex with her. Well actually, he raped her, but he would say he had sex with her. Because, while Sheila never said no, she also never said yes.”
And here’a a video from ‘The Accused’. Please watch the movie if you have not. Based on the real-life gang rape of Cheryl Araujo, this film was one of the first Hollywood films to deal with rape in a direct manner.
A glimpse into the world of boys
What do men need liberation from?
Emotions, Masculinity and Hierarchies in Relationships: Or making men walk alone in the journey of life.
MIP: Men In Pink
Why should girls have all the fun?