This post is a response to a facebook comment (in blockquotes) to a Khap critical post by Akanksha Dureja.
are you counting genuine rapes…………or you also included sex between girl friends and boy friends in name of love………….
1. Love or lust, girl friend or wife, stranger or sex worker, if both are above the age of consent and if both the partners said Yes, then it is not rape, it is Consensual Sex.
2. If there is pure love, lust-ful love, devotion, high skirts, girl without morals, girl who has other sexual partners, a sex worker – but one partner did not consent – then it is Rape.
I don’t have to go to newspaper to know these things………When every channel….advertisment……movie……….will project girls as item girls……..do you still believe that rapes will come down …….
Do Haryana men have more access to these things than the rest of the world?
More than media it’s the society blaming, shaming, condemning the victim [An example -“13-year-old rape victim and her two sisters, studying in a government school here, left the institute…”] for crimes committed by criminals (rapists) that emboldens the rapists. If rapists have to face the consequences of their own crimes (condemnation, conviction, jail, fines, social boycott etc) they would think before planning sexual assaults.
Society needs to start taking sexual crimes seriously, Indian men need to be educated about a woman’s right to say Yes (or No) to sex.
If you advocate ….. girls for wearing dress which are short from both direction in name of fashion………and independence……….then I guess you can never stop these rapes but surely you can write 1000 articles on it. ……….. I never advocate a rapist and I agree it is the worst thing a man can do ……… But everyone doesn’t want to rape a girl from birth …or it’s no anyone’s hobby…………..We are still unaware of real reasons of this ……. and yet we keep on advertising women as an object rather than subject…and keep fighting……..We can never control a disaster like this by only controlling man or woman.
In fact it’s exactly the opposite.
‘Mr Balvinder Singh’s experience in Nagaland shows making rules about covering up a woman’s body, is the beginning of objectification of women, to ensure ‘excitement’ does not ‘turn into monotony’.
“While a small cleavage visible under the thin dupatta or through the pallu of a woman’s saree is certainly a pleasant sight for any man worth his salt, without harbouring any malafide thoughts in the mind, but there in the villages of Nagaland it was an anti climax to see the dangling pairs of bare boobs, available to look at in abundance in all shapes and sizes. Initially they were a cause of some excitement, which was natural , but gradually the excitement turned into monotony. I was reminded of the words of a famous poet that the ‘beauty that is veiled looks more beautiful’.” [Click here to read the entire article]
You may also like to read – Rape and clothing: How it’s all dressed up – A guest post by Praveen Talwar.
The same man who rape a girl……. respect his mother……..so please go ahead and teach them what you want to…………………………..We are here not fighting at a topic of so called Woman or Man………but we are actually finding a solution for the disaster…………Raping is a mental disability…..or a sexual surge…….But please don’t think that woman are away from it, even there are cases on harassment on men……but nobody ever believe in it because women are projected as weak……We have to end this level of sexual surge… not the human race. The independence will be fruitful when atmosphere is free, otherwise it will only creates confusion.
Most Indians see the women in their family as ghar ki izzat – they are capable of Honor Killing their own mothers, daughters, sisters and wives if they realise that they are sexual people.
Sorry to say Ma’m, I am not supporting rapist….please open your mind and see world without rage and hatered………..Men never made culture…its women also…….Sex in college doesn’t happen only with consent of male…….female also support it fully…..and this is the real truth we see around us today……….you want to blame men …surely you can….but women too are not so innocent as you are trying to project…………..I am again saying that I am against rape but not against man or woman……..
Sex in college (or anywhere), where there is consent from two adults is not rape. It is not even illegal. More information here: Marry Or Live With Anyone Of Your Choice.
I believe you should understand the cause …rather than blaming. Because blame game is very easy…..as we are playing it from tomorrow…..but the real courage lie in solution. There are 1000 people who can write on rapes…sex workers …lust………But I am still looking for someone who can analyze the reason behind this tendency of sexual assault on opposite sex ( be it men or women)
Okay, here are some simple facts:
1. The first step for controlling any crime is to acknowledge that it is a crime.
2. Making excuses for the criminal encourages the criminal.
3. Blaming the victim emboldens the criminal, it also makes it difficult for the victim to report the crime.
4. Punishing the criminal helps in controlling any crime, it makes the criminal know that there would be consequences.
5. Creating awareness about the crime is a powerful step. Many rapists have no idea that sex without consent is rape.
Many rape victims do not know that wearing a mini skirt, being drunk or smiling at a rapist does not give anybody permission to sexually assault them.
6. Societies which do not take sexual crimes seriously (Like India, Pakistan, Afghanistan) see more sexual crimes. For this reason India is amongst the worst places in the world to be a woman in.
Khaps are rapists too – Akanksha Dureja
To be a girl in Haryana – Purba Ray