This is what Haryana Khaps are not saying.

Marry minor girls, so that more men can have wives, and they don’t rape other men’s wives and future-wives.

Haryana khap panchayats meet today to push for early marriages for girls.

This makes a lot of sense to thousands of unmarried-male-heirs in Haryana, whose parents can’t afford to buy them brides. (Kunwaron ki sena – armies of bachelors).

When there are not enough young women for men to marry, Patriarchal  societies start making excuses to marry young and minor girls, so that more men can have wives. (Patriarchal societies believe all men are entitled to sex and wives.)

Buying and sharing wives are options but it’s cheaper and profitable to pressurise parents of daughters to marry their minor children because these brides come with dowries. (Don’t be surprised if they try to ban Haryana women from marrying non-Haryana men. The biggest reason for misogynists wanting to control who women marry is, they realise no woman would marry them if she has a real choice.)

Khaps claim marriage protects women from rapes?

Fact: Marriage makes it even more difficult for a rape victim to escape or report even the most brutal and violent sexual assaults.

1. I have blogged about my maid who had run away from her marital home and then threatened to hang herself before her parents allowed her stay back, she was twelve and she said the much older husband raped her brutally. [When life ends at twelve.]

No attempts to report or seek justice, no action against husband. 

2. Another domestic helper used to beg her mother in law to protect her from her much older husband, and years later used to wish he would die because there was no other way she felt she could be free from his sexual assaults. [The Life And Times Of Another Indian Homemaker.]

No attempts to report or seek justice, no action against husband. 

3. Another woman in Haryana was not only raped by her husband but the rapes were so brutal that it was feared that she may never conceive (a big concern in her second marriage, where she is still happy because, ‘atleast they give me food’) [LinkNo attempts to report or seek justice, no action against rapist/husband. 

4. Here’s another account from “The women who have to sleep with their husbands’ brothers: Shortage of girls forces families into wife-sharing” [Link]

‘They took me whenever they wanted – day or night. When I resisted, they beat me with anything at hand,’ said Munni, who had managed to leave her home after three months only on the pretext of visiting a doctor. … Such cases are rarely reported to police because women in these communities are seldom allowed outside the home unaccompanied, and the crimes carry deep stigma for the victims. So there may be many more women like Munni in the mud-hut villages of the area. Munni, who has three sons from her husband and his brothers, has not filed a police complaint either.  [‘Four kinds of marriages in modern India. Which ones would you ban?]

Once again: No attempts to report or seek justice, no action against husband(s). 

Some cases are reported though:

1. Three of his sisters and six of his nieces eloped, so he decided to drill holes and padlock his wife’s genitals.

2. Daughter in law locked in cowshed, raped by spouse, neighbours and others.

3. Man booked for ‘raping’ his wife

4. Man gets 7-yr jail term for raping estranged wife

How safe are married women from rapes by other family members? How often do they dare to report these rapes?

5. Man booked for raping daughter in law. 

How do early marriages benefit women?

They don’t. Marriage for many Indian women means – end of education, freedom (whatever little), poorer nutrition, long working hours without pay, early pregnancies and sex selective abortions, abuse etc.

Divorce is generally not seen as an option.

Amongst other things, Haryana panchayat cuts off married girls from parents’ property.

And how do misogynists make it difficult for women to escape abusive marriages?

Today, the special women helpline number 81466-93100 was installed in Police Control Room, Panchkula. [link]

But with cellphones being restricted [Punjab], [Baghpat] and women not being allowed to go out without being accompanied by male members – who do they turn to for support?

Most powerful tool in favor of rapists is of course the stigma and blame that rape brings to the victim.


19 thoughts on “This is what Haryana Khaps are not saying.

  1. If they didn’t abort female fetuses or kill girl babies, there wouldn’t be an army of bachelors. I’ve heard that not only are they bringing (buying?) brides from Kerala and other states but also from the Phillapines.


    • I have heard this “buying brides from Kerala” comment a few times now and am really wondering if there is any truth in it. I am a Keralite by birth and of all the places I have lived in, I suffered the most street sexual harassment in Kerala (age 8-13) before moving away. But all the girls that I knew went to school, went for higher studies, work and earn. Somehow I can’t imagine selling of brides happening there. Am I being too naive?


  2. This is a very sad state of affairs. Nothing can change until the Indian men evolve and respect women. They don’t even spare small kids, leave aside women. These men believe they have some kind of authority over women and can do anything and get away with it. Unless they are taught to respect women, early on during childhood the state of affairs in this country isn’t going to change. After all the suffering a woman has to go through, these patriarchal societies will keep blaming the victim instead of trying to punish the rapist.

    I recently wrote a post on the same issue and was shocked to see a fellow blogger’s comments on a Facebook group on the post. This man, without even reading the post had the guts to ask if I was talking about actual rapes or I have included sex between unmarried couples, when I gave that count of Nineteen rapes in a month. This man went ahead the same road, blaming women for wearing short clothes etc. These type of perverts exists even in groups we are members of and it scares me. He then blamed item numbers for the increasing number of rapes instead of accepting the fact that men , in this country are sick.


  3. Such a bleak life for the Haryanavi women! They should all be helped to move out of the rotten place to start life afresh. Someone please help them escape this hellhole and give them a platform to live, grow and support themselves.


  4. Ah, I wish the government would intervene. This is getting ridiculous. They need to rein in these khaps and start putting some of them in jail for infringing on women’s basic constitutional rights.

    I actually wish the government intervenes and helps girl’s families (and thus girls) relocate somewhere so they can be rehabilitated. These panchayat men and wife-sharing haryana men are the ugliest face of patriarchy around. They should be let to rot with each other instead of ruining little girls’ lives. I know this is not practical but those little girls do not deserve to live such horrors, just because they happened to be born in Haryana.


  5. Personally, I think proxy governments of these sort should be banned and not just in Haryana. They oppress the personal freedoms of men, women and children AND often violate the basic human rights of all those oppressed under their rule. I have a number of friends both male and female from the Jat ganglands of UP and Haryana, who’d do anything to get out of the grip of these loonies who run their world.
    It is times like this that make me question the legitimacy of the Indian Constitution or of the Indian govenment at all. While on one hand, the GoI uses military force to suppress secessionist movements in my part of the country (which is far more socially egalitarian than even post-feudal Europe); they seem to give a lot of leeway to the proxy governments of North India, such as the Talibanistic Khaps and Panchayats of Haryana or UP. Why the double standards?
    Aakanksha Dureja’s perverts are not faceless men commenting in online blogs, but normal everyday ‘executives’, police superintendants and people of other high profile jobs who sincerely believe that women wearing short clothes are ‘asking for rape’. When I see people like this running this country, I really wonder if Assam would one day resemble Haryana. Over the last 5 years or so, I have started to see the effects of this so called ‘national integration’, which is pretty much diffusion of mainland Indian feudal and class centric values and ethos on the socially egalitarian and liberal tribal belts.


  6. @ Carvaka
    These people ARE the government. The CM of Haryana defends these loons. The CM of Karnataka defends the gangs of Mangalore. You really expect the government to do something proactive after that?


  7. I think this is atrocious misrepresentation by the media. Khaps may have done a lot of other things, but they didn’t press for lowering of age of marriage. How can ndtv or any other media decide what the outcome of the meeting is? Sube Singh says they’ll get everybody’s opinion and find consensus. Turns out they decided that lowering age of marriage was condemnable. It is easy for us to malign Khaps as boors having retrograde views on every possible social issue. To paint them thus would be good for villainizing them but not for understanding them. The media should understand that our goal is not to kill them or annihilate them but to convince them.


  8. Pingback: What Khaps need is a strictly implemented law against Forced Marriages. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  9. Pingback: Who will benefit from criminalising sexual assaults within marriages? | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  10. Pingback: What do you think of these doubts regarding recognition of marital rape as a crime? | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  11. Pingback: “Both boy and girl were responsible, who had done marriage without informing their parents.” | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s