19 Rape Facts that Khaps, Cops and Chautala should know.

Khaps and Chautala claim that rapes can be prevented by child marriages. [Link]

What do Chautala and Khaps think rape is?

I am realizing that at least some Indians believe any sex outside marriage is Rape, (even if both the partners are willing and above the age of consent) and sex within marriage can never be rape  – even if it is forced/coerced.

In Tehelka sting operation an NCR cop complained about women,“They’ll drink and also have sex with you. But the day someone uses force, it’s rape”   His words –

Daru bhi peeti hai aur aap ke saath sex bhi karti hai… Jis din koi thok dega rape ho jayega‘. [Tehelka link]

Fact 1: When one of the partners is not saying Yes, it is not consent. Sex without consent is Rape. Another post on the legal definition.

Some more facts.

The Hisar gangrape – Sept 9

A Class 12 student was kidnapped, blindfolded, gagged and  gang raped, while she was on her way to her grandmother’s place. The rape was filmed on cellphone. The MMS was doing the rounds.

The teen has told the police that of the 12 men who raped her, eight were upper-caste Jats. They all live in or near her village, she says she can identify them all, but only two men have been arrested so far.

11 days later her father committed suicide.

Link, Another link.

Fact 3: If it wasn’t for media and the changing attitudes towards rapes, this rape would not have been reported.

And some questions: Do you think this is one rare case of its kind or are such rapes common? What did we do to make rapists so fearless?

The Jind gangrape – Sept 21

The accused barged into the (married) woman’s house looking for her husband and when they did not find him, they brutally raped her …Her daughter stood outside the house screaming in fright. The victim said that the men made a video of the whole gruesome act and threatened to make it public if she reported the matter to the police.  Link1, Link2

Fact 4 : The victim could not be blackmailed with a video in which criminals are committing a crime. This must feel like the end of the good old days (sarcasm) to rapists.

Fact 5 : When shame can’t be used to exploit women, we would see rapists being shamed. (And, blamed, convicted, punished and condemned)

Sonepat –Sept 28

The abduction and alleged gang rape of a newly-married woman in Sonipat’s Gohana. Link

 

Fact 6: Marriage does not prevent rapes. Fact 7: Forced sex is rape even when the victim is not a  virgin.

Sonepat  Sept 28

A class XI student, had gone to buy grocery from a shop when the main accused, Amit alias Kali, sent her to the adjoining godown to pick up certain items. The girl was trapped inside the godown and was raped by the four.

They overpowered the girl and raped her. They threatened her not to complain to the police. [Link]

Fact 8: The victim knew (and could identify) the rapists. Fact 9: The rapists clearly did not expect her to report. They were probably banking on Khap-style shame and honor, and expected the girl to take her own life, or be blackmailed by them.

Bhiwani – Oct 1

A 14-year-old girl was allegedly kidnapped and raped in a moving jeep near Sandwa village… The incident occurred at 7.15 pm… when the girl, a student of class 8, was on her way home. Police have rounded up two accused who claim to be known to the victim.

After committing the crime, the men returned to the village to pick up an accomplice. The girl hit one of the accused who was drunk. He fell off the jeep and she managed to escape in the confusion. [Link]

Fact 10: The girl managed to hit one of the accused. She showed presence of mind and immense courage. And she is just 14.

Instead of suggesting semi-forced and arranged child marriages, Chautala should have suggested a bravery award, free counseling and support – to encourage other rape victims to feel confident about dealing with rapists and reporting rapes.

Yamunanagar, Bhadeli village – Oct 2

The 16-year-old girl, who belongs to a weaker section of society, was allegedly raped by a youth known to her… The youth took her in his car … and on the way one more person joined him. LinkLink.

Fact 11 In 90% of rape cases the crime is pre-planned and the rapist is known to the victim.

Fact 12 : What would help is the fear of the victim refusing to be silenced with shame. And being taken seriously.

Jind district, Berlakha village. Oct 3

Human trafficker Dhanwa raped a 28-year-old woman…   The woman’s in-laws had allegedly roped in Dhanwa to sell her and she was raped as her sister-in-law sent her to the village on the pretext of meeting a relative. Villagers working in the nearby fields thrashed Dhanwa before handing him over to the police after driver Gurtej Singh spotted them and raised an alarm.  Link

Fact: Marriage does not prevent rapes. Rapists are rarely absolute strangers.

Fact: Cultures that support Rapists enable rape being used for silencing, blackmailing and exploiting   rape-victims.

 Rohtak – Oct 3

A 15-year-old Dalit girl was allegedly lured by three women relatives in Kachchi Garhi Mohalla colony of Rohtak and then raped by a youth last evening, police said. The girl was called out of her house by the accused women and was taken to an abandoned house by car on the Hisar road on the outskirts of the village where she was raped. Police have registered a case against five persons, including the three relatives of the victim and also arrested the key accused. http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-10-03/chandigarh/34238088_1_dalit-girl-rohtak-narwana

Fact 13 : Rape is a crime of hate and aggression, frequently used to cause hurt. Fact 14 :
Cultures that support rapists facilitate such crimes.

Rohtak – Oct 3

A minor, mentally-challenged Dalit girl was allegedly raped… The 15-year-old was allegedly lured by three women relatives in Kachchi Garhi Mohalla colony of Rohtak and then raped by a man in an abandoned house. Link

Fact 14: When we make excuses for rapists we make them shameless and inhuman. Fact: Rapists in rape cultures are encourages to believe that they are entitled to sex, and that it’s natural to rape someone if they want to have sex.

Panipat. Oct 3

A 12-year-old girl from Panipat was abducted and allegedly raped on by a distant cousin, 25.  [link]

City police station SHO Vishal Kumar said the medical examination report has been sent to forensic science laboratory in Karnal for further analysis as the department wants to be doubly sure before taking any action. [Link]

Fact: In 90% of rape cases the rapist is known to the victim.

Jind/Rohtak/Sonipat – Oct 4

A 13-year-old girl was raped by 45 year old neighbour: Police sources said 42-year-old Prakash Saini, who works at a sweet shop, barged into the teenaged schoolgirl’s house and allegedly raped her while her parents were away. Saini fled after the girl’s paternal aunt saw him raping the girl and raised an alarm.  [Link]

Fact: If the aunt had not witnessed the crime, he would have attempted to use shame and fear to silence the victim,. Our culture of blaming and shaming the victims promotes such crimes.

Fact 15: It’s a myth that locking women inside homes prevents sexual crimes. Women having a voice can help control sexual crimes.

Jind Gang rape and victim’s suicide. Oct 7 

…the victim in her statement to the police said that one of her neighbours Pradeep allegedly dragged her into his house while the sister-in-law of the accused kept guard standing on the terrace of the house so that nobody could come inside. Pradeep and another youth Naveen raped the teenager.

[Link] [Link]

Fact: Rapists (specially in rape cultures like ours) unlike most other violent criminals, can rely on the chances of the victim either committing suicide or being shamed into silence.

 Palwal: Oct 8

The horror of rape continues unabated in Haryana. A woman was allegedly raped in Mathepur village in Palwal, when she went to the fields to collect fodder. The accused ran away as the victim shouted for help. [Link]

Fact: In Rape culture rapists have no real fear of punishment.

Faridabad: Oct 10

A 20-year-old domestic maid has alleged rape by her employer, a scrap dealer. [Link]

Fact: Alleged rapists known to the victim.

Ambala – A widow was raped by her acquaintance’

According to a complaint lodged by the 30-year-old victim, Rajinder, who is an acquaintance of her late husband, brought her to Ambala on the pretext of showing her some plot, where he offered her juice laced with sedatives, they said.

After she became unconscious, the accused raped her and filmed the crime and even threatened her with dire consequences if she informed anyone about the incident. [Link]

Fact 16: Rapists look like normal people. 90% rapes are preplanned. Fact 17 :
Women do not have magical sixth sense that lets them read minds of criminals (Women are human). Indian rapists feel safe enough to rely on threatening, shaming, blackmailing and silencing the victim.

A five-month pregnant married Dalit woman – Oct 11

1.  Haryana woman alleges gang rape, cops deny claim

The Kaithal police arrested two youth on Tuesday evening for allegedly gang raping a 19-year-old married woman at Kalayat town, near Kaithal. However, the district police claim that the circumstantial evidences and investigations rule out the possibility of a gang rape and that she had illicit relations with both accused since long. [Link]

2.  The victim was medically examined Tuesday and rape was confirmed. [link] [Another link]

Pregnant Dalit woman raped in Haryana- The Hindu

Fact 18: The police in India urgently needs to have clear instructions about what to do when somebody approaches them alleging a sexual assault.

Fact 19 : Citizens should know if the police are allowed to refuse to investigate, judge, blame, name, shame, rape or make statements to the media that they (the police) are not held accountable for?

  Yamunanagar. Oct 11

A 14-year-old girl was allegedly raped. As Yamunanagar district borders Himachal Pradesh’s Sirmaur district with the victim raped being raped near the border, a dispute over territorial jurisdiction between the police departments of the two states delayed the registration of the case against the accused. link

Fact: This is not unheard of. Citizens and police should both know what their rights are in such situations.

Posts related to lack of awareness of above mentioned facts:

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

Why was this radio cabbie, a rapist, not afraid of being arrested?

Five rapists in Patna want to marry gangrape victim.

This is what rapists do when there is no fear of punishment.

Rapist said that coming from Afghanistan meant he didn’t understand what ‘consent’ was.

50 thoughts on “19 Rape Facts that Khaps, Cops and Chautala should know.

  1. Well said. I want to add another point; when the media – broadcast or print – highlights a rape case, the focus is always on the victim and her family. Instead, it’s time to turn the focus on the accused, their background and their families. The news channels should visit the houses of the accused and show the faces of their families, so that they are shamed by the act of their male members. If things go well, instead of the rape victim, it will be the rapist and his family who will be stigmatised.

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    • What a good suggestion. It’s time to realize that rapists aren’t just the stereotypical lower-class unemployed that girls are warned about:they can also be the last people you expect, so called good members of society.

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      • Ashreya, my comment was not to blame the media. If media wasn’t there more than half of these cases wouldn’t come to light and public pressure to investigate and arrest the accused wouldn’t come about. But at the same time, it is time to change to change the focus on the coverage. Don’t you agree?

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    • I would have to disagree with this based on rights to privacy for both the victim and the accused and right to innocence until considered guilty. Also, the family members are not responsible for the action of an adult and cannot be forced into media spotlight against their wishes.
      If any family members of the rapist choose to speak about the rapist or how their feel, then the media should definitely highlight it.

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    • “Instead, it’s time to turn the focus on the accused, their background and their families.”
      I strongly disagree with this reactionary approach to reporting rapes. Rape should be shamed and treated as an individual act of crime, not a crime involving families, community or gender. The media should highlight it as such, without involving families in the midst.
       
      Otherwise, families wouldn’t stand against a rapist among their own, since his guilt is their collective shame. Men with start sympathising with rapists, if rape is seen as a crime by men against women. XYZ tribe will start defending rape if it is understood that a rape by a member of XYZ tribe will bring dishonour to the whole tribe. Not to mention, it is very unethical to persecute people as collective for the crimes of an individual among them.
       
      I made an argument on this line a long back, giving an example of how the Khasi tribe of Meghalaya handled a rape involving one of their own. However, IHM missed the point and started asking whose ‘honour’ was the punishment supposed to protect. I understand that shame and honour are considered de facto motivators in South Asian/Arab cultures but unless we learn to rise above it and think in terms of humanity and universal ethics, perceptions of crimes like rape, ethnic/religious riots, etc. wouldn’t change.

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  2. Haryana Cong leader, Dharamvir Goyat, blames girls for rapes, says 90 pc cases due to consensual sex
    “I don’t feel any hesitation in saying that 90 per cent of the girls want to have sex intentionally but they don’t know that they would be gang raped further as they find some lusty and pervasive people in the way ahead.”
    http://ibnlive.in.com/news/haryana-cong-leader-blames-girls-for-rapes-says-90-pc-cases-due-to-consensual-sex/300037-3-240.html

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    • Obviously the leader is crazy enough to blame a girl for her own rape. Just reflects the level of his logical abilities. But eventually it is his right to speak out whatever comes to his mind. And no one can ask him to shut up. It is better if such comments are not given importance and ignored instead of providing unnecessary publicity to the man. So we should avoid sharing such ridiculous statements.

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  3. Reading all these cases make me sick to the stomach. Each and every perpetrator is an animal. Nothing but animals. Children, women young and old, married and unmarried, mentally unstable, whether they are at home or out of home, school going kids, working women, pregnant ladies, the list goes on. There is only one thing linking the victims-they are born as girl child and that’s seen as a license to treat and use them as pleased by any animal on the street. There’s complete disregard that these ladies are humans.

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    • //Children, women young and old, married and unmarried, mentally unstable, whether they are at home or out of home, school going kids, working women, pregnant ladies, the list goes on. There is only one thing linking the victims-they are born as girl child//😦
      And then they don’t want daughters because it’s such a responsibility to raise a daughter.

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  4. I know we shouldn’t have to and in a decent world we wouldn’t have to, but things being what they are, every girl and woman should learn how to defend herself physically. She doesn’t need to become a martial arts expert – although that would be cool – she just needs to learn a few simple maneuvers so she can resist effectively. The rape culture will not stop until the rapist realizes he is in danger, physical danger, when he attacks a woman.

    We really need to say “Enough is enough!” and take matters into our own hands.

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    • I would suggest instead that every woman raise their sons well. They should condemn the rapist /molester and not justify their actions if they happen to be a son/brother/father or so who is the accused. They should willingly support action against culprits regardless of their relation to them, not find lame excuses for blaming victims.

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      • Shail, Indian women are conditioned to stand by their menfolk and defend their actions.

        Many women also don’t have enough power in their families to influence or shape their sons’ attitudes towards women.

        Moreover, in India, maternal love is confused with an unconditional acceptance of the son’s actions, no matter how heinous these may be.

        My maid has two sons, and gets beaten up by her husband in full view of her sons. How can she influence or shape her sons’ understanding of the man-woman relationship given the circumstances?

        Chances are that years on, her sons will repeat the cycle and she will be a mute witness to their violence towards women.

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        • I know @Biwo. I am part of this society, conditioned in this very same mold. I still live among people who think so.
          Since here we are talking of teaching women self defense, why not think about teaching them to raise sons well? I don’t find self defense a solution to any of this at all.

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        • “My maid has two sons, and gets beaten up by her husband in full view of her sons. How can she influence or shape her sons’ understanding of the man-woman relationship given the circumstances?”

          Agreed she cannot. But “if you are thinking teaching her self defense” I would suggest, teach her why this is happening and how she can counter it, not how she can physically hit back, THAT is my point.

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        • She can for one tell her sons that what the father did was wrong, how hurt she felt, how demeaning it was to her and how unhappy she was , she can also ask her kids why she has no right to happiness , why a woman has no right to happiness when a woman is the one creation a situation of happiness for the others in the family.
          i fully agree we moms need to raise our sons well and teach other moms around us that they need to raise their sons well. yes not everyone has access to internet and blogs etc., but i can show how sons should be raised to my maid and dhobiwali etc., and hopefully she learns and spread it on.
          kids see things and fortunately they know right from wrong nad hurt feelings quite early, no child likes to see his mom cry. no cild likes to see his mom beaten up, use that, to make sure he will never ever repeat it. show him how bad abuse is. – living examples make a much stronger impact right???

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  5. They say getting all girls married by 16 will solve rapes. I have a better suggestion for them. Castrate all boys as soon as they attain puberty. Will they be fine with it? Idiots!

    If the Khap constituted females, n this was the suggestion, will they find it offensive or not? My blood boils when I see stupid A__H____S like these.

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    • This was actually suggested by my brother – that the only way to prevent sexual crimes against women was to punish the men and he couldn’t think of a worse punishment than castration – I guess as a guy, he should know!!!

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  6. The govt should introduce a scheme where women get Mace canisters on their ration card. But how is a woman to defend herself with just a can of mace when herds of these rapist animals gang up on her? Maybe a device that shoots a strong current to incapacitate the rapist. And a cigar cutter which she can use to castrate the entire herd. Geldings are typically better behaved animals.

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  7. The nonchalance of the rapists to their victim’s suffering is very similar to the nonchalance of meat eaters to the suffering of the animal.

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    • Well, not really. I am vegetarian but I do not agree at all. Meat eaters do not eat their meat alive. Rapists are brutalising live, feeling women. To compare the two is gross trivialisation of violence against women!

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  8. As always a very well presented fact – that makes the blood curdle up…

    another perspective just cropped up in mind – is it possible that these incidents are not recent spurt, but always there.. its just that the girls have become braver to report and take action, coming out of the fear of shame, and thats why more and more such cases coming to the knowing?

    Somehow I find the same story is valid all over India – baring a few corners, its just that females are now slowly waking up to speak against such crimes !

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  9. I can’t understand the mentality of the women helpers of rapists in many of these stories. Why would women lure other women to be raped and stand guard while it is happening?

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    • Often converts are more Catholic than the Pope, or so the saying goes.

      Women are often the staunchest defenders of opressive customs and attitudes. Maybe these women were exhibiting caste or family allegience and not empathy towards the victim based on a common gender.

      In much of India sadly, caste triumphs over gender.

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      • OK, that makes some kind of (twisted) sense😦

        I am beginning to realize that I have had a very different and safe (insulated) life compared to a lot of India. Till I started reading this blog, cases like these were too far removed from my life and were things that happened to “other” people far away and not in any way connected to me.

        I can almost understand why most of the men in my circle of friends can’t understand the trauma of daily street sexual harassment. It is just too far removed from them.

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  10. I think India is a good century behind the developed nations. If you look at the victorian society in Britain, you see many of the same attitudes towards women and lower classes as we see in India today. Any talk that we are different and more cultured is rubbish. I have lived in both and I think it’s a matter of being behind the times rather than being ‘different’. While we have ‘leaders’ promoting child marriage as a solution to rapes (you’d think pre-teen girls were the most dangerous rapists around), here the reaction of the developed world:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2216553/International-Day-Girl-Child-2012-Devastating-images-terrifying-world-child-brides.html

    We are clearly not living in the same era.

    It literally pains me to see people make such statements about rape. People making these statements do not consider women human and hence do not understand consent. Women are an object to them and objects can not give consent to their use. All that matters is whether they were used by the ‘legitimate owner’ or someone else. Since these objects can walk, it’s their fault if they were used by someone else.. there is no concept of consent. I suppose all the poor little girls that get raped and killed in India were also ‘asking’ for it.

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    • @ Carvaka
      The Victorian England, as repressive as it was, was still a hell lot better for women than India is, today. There were no dowry killings, bride burning and the extreme hateful misogyny that Khaps and politicians of Haryana come up with, just a general culture of prudery and repression. Feminism in the western world had a far better head start than mainland India does. No offence, but I think Desi India, along with the Islamic world is right at the bottom as far as gender and social equality is concerned.

      Like

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