A young friend once visited a colleague, and his mother brought her a glass of water. As she thanked and accepted the glass, the young man asked his mother,“You look ill! Where is my sister? Why are you serving water?”
He didn’t think he could get the water.
Many young Indian men are raised like this. Some notice the hypocrisy and change, some don’t.
Do you think there is some way Indian women can find out, before they marry him, if the man they are about to marry sees them as someone who must be prepared to give up their freedom and happiness to make the husband’s mom, dad, extended family and their neighbours happy?
What would you consider non negotiable?
For example, would it help to see if the young man is able to have any kind of discussions with his parents or if he sees unquestioning obedience as ‘respect’?
Would you worry if a man expects a prospective bride to wear traditional clothing, when he introduces her to his parents? (Would this make it easier for him to tell his traditional parents that she would be deciding what she wears once they are married?)
Got this email,
“After reading the last published comment on your blog …… Why don’t you bring out a set of questions that a prospective bride should ask a prospective bridegroom before tying the knot?”
What do you think? What kind of questions could help?
- Intercultural marriages – more work for woman
- “A 28 year old, independent woman who dreams big does not really fit the definition of an ideal Indian DIL.”
- Arranged Marriage Market: “Oh! then our son has to take care of you and your wife too”!
- “I seem to have a lot of similarities with the villainous daughters in law of India’s favourite serials.”