Ek Hindustani ladki ki Izzat.

Remember Shah rukh Khan assuring Kajol in DDLJ that he knew ‘ek Hindustani ladki ki izzat kya hoti hai’?  (SRK assured Kajol he knew what honor means to an Indian girl)

1.

Stopped by cops, clicked by media, girl kills self

She was clicked by some media persons in a car with a boy. The girl pleaded, she even allegedly threatened that she would commit suicide if her photographs were taken. When her pleas were not heeded, she jumped before a moving train and died on the spot.

One frequently hears of acid, blackmail, violence and murder in connection with izzat

2.

Online impostor held for harassing woman – this man allegedly met the mother and blackmailed her to pay Rs 5 lakh, if she did not want the daughter to be disgraced or become the victim of an acid or blade attack.’

3.

Kashmir women ordered to cover up or risk acid attack.

Kashmir women ordered to cover up or risk acid attack – Telegraph

Were C Manjula and Pramila thinking of izzat when they justified attacks on women to prevent them from being ‘mislead’ ?

There is some news everyday that confirms that the idea of all powerful izzat can jeopardizes a girl’s safety, life, freedom, health and happiness.

4.

19-year-old rape victim attempts suicide by consuming acid

…the girl stated that she could not face her parents as a result she decided to commit suicide…  fearing that if the villagers came to know of the incidents, it would be a shame for the family.

5.

Freedom, growth, happiness and opportunities are seen as threats to izzat.

Rajasthan panchayat bans cellphones for girls.

6.

Alert taxi driver foils husband’s bid to sell wife – This sounds too bizarre. But the fact that it was reported is indicative.

In what kind of culture would a taxi driver imagine that one passenger could be openly planning to ‘sell’ another passenger. I am hoping there is some misunderstanding.

What makes it so easy to ‘sell’ or ‘blackmail’ a Hindustani Ladki? Please read 9 and 10.

7. Since  ek Hindustani ladki ki izzat is known for being tough to guard…

5-month-old kidnapped by childless woman, returned on realising that it’s a girl.

SURAT: The accused kidnapped the child as she had no child even after 20 years of marriage. On realising that the kidnapped child is a girl she brought her to police and claimed that she found her at railway station.

8.

Upset over son’s death, man kills wife, injures daughter

“However, Mehta always wanted a son and was overjoyed when a boy was born in his family in June. The baby was, however, born prematurely and despite all efforts, the child passed away due to health complications,”

 9.

After that dark episode in her life, the mother had no choice but to marry her off.

“What else could I do,” Manorama asked in despair. “After that incident, I had no choice but to marry her off. It was a great opportunity for me when my relatives brought me the information about the groom. My daughter and I were spending sleepless nights after her rape. Everyone in and around this locality had come to know about it. Who would have married her here?” she asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

Manorama thought it was best to send her daughter elsewhere where nobody knew about that “dark episode in her life”.

“I was afraid something would go wrong any moment and the wedding would not take place. Thankfully, it was quickly over and she left.”

“The groom’s family demanded Rs 5,000, which I collected with great difficulty,” said the mother. The groom, a mason, is settled in Delhi, and since the marriage, neither her daughter nor her son-in-law has come down for a visit.

Manorama, however, is confident about the “genuineness” of the groom, though she is not fully aware of his whereabouts.

10.  BUT.

When izzat is not an issue, the stories can end quite unexpectedly.

Teacher pushes girl into flesh trade

Girl returned 12 years after she went missing, threw a bombshell that the revered teacher had abducted her and sold her, when she was 9, to a brothel owner… a young man who identified himself as Manoj Sah from Muzaffarpur visited the unfortunate parents and took them for the identification of the girl who it seems, is now married to him, and they also have a child.

What if this girl too had committed suicide or had been too ashamed to face her parents? Doesn’t the concept of izzat make life easier for misogynists and criminals? 

28 thoughts on “Ek Hindustani ladki ki Izzat.

    • Even in countries with sexual liberation there exists a madonna/whore dichotomy- the only difference is that their definitions of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ women are more.. liberal.
      We cannot create a human society where judgemental thought and negative opinions cease to exist. What we can do is create institutions that prevent and punish any actions that arise out of these prejudices.
      In more developed societies, a strong judiciary and robust law enforcement was already present -so a social revolution could take place with relative ease.

      P.S, IHM, I hope you don’t mind me linking back to this post.

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      • Good point. A large part of slut shaming, I think, is an instinctive response to sexual jealousy, something which has been engineered into the cultural psyche of conservative societies. So unless this aspect of human nature can be socially engineered to oblivion, I don’t think the madonna-whore dichotomy would really disappear – be it New York or New Delhi.
         
        The strongest slut shamers among men are those who have an underlying feeling of inadequacy, as far as their sexual selves are concerned. Similarly, the strongest slut shamers among women are those who have ‘lost the ground’ (so to speak) to younger and/or more attractive women.

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  1. All these stories sound absurd! I only clicked on the one about the cabbie – the thought that struck me was what if what they wanted was to buy a girl not to sell one? The part about the police in a dilemma because the mother-in-law said her son-in-law would never do such a thing was hilarious.

    And the woman kidnapper… you’d think she would have considered the possibility given how it’s difficult to tell the gender of a baby. That’s why parents should dress up in pink and blue colour coding!

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  2. Not exactly related but my comment that follows will be: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/what-happens-when-a-girl-shaves-her-head/

    It saddens me that she had to go through that for picking an unconventional hairstyle. But I couldn’t help but think that if she were in India, she’d have been labeled ‘paagal’ by neighbors or deemed not-marriage-material by all and sundry or beaten up by her parents because she now has a ‘reputation’ and who will marry her any more (15 years later, that is).

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  3. Izzat is a terrible evil straight from hell. (Even though I don’t believe in hell, I can’t think of a better metaphor.) If I had my way, we would gather up every last vestige of izzat, load it in a rocket ship and shoot it into the sun, where it could burn until it is totally destroyed, leaving us only shaking our heads in wonder that we could once have actually believed in it.

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  4. Agree with Maddie fully.

    This reminds me of the Tamil movie Endhiran (dubbed as Robot in other languages), there is this scene where the robot saves a girl from a fire and brings her to safety(Background: Since she was bathing she is not dressed). But hundreds of people fleeing from the fire and media persons see her and instead of being thankful to be alive, she kills herself by falling in front of a lorry. She chooses to die rather than live with the fact that she was seen nude in public. I felt so pained by that scene.

    News items that are so common these days – girl is raped because she was threatened by pictures in “compromising” poses. I sometimes feel angry that these girls succumb to this but what can they do.. this obsession with “karpu” (izzat) can be removed only by a sexual revolution.. I think it should start with the movies. We are afterall a country where we are influenced so much by reel life..

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    • I remember seeing that scene. Found it terribly regressive and offensive. If we still stick to that mindset, then no wonder our country has so many deaths related to ‘izzat’.😐

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    • Same comment in the below movie review as well…
      http://bethlovesbollywood.blogspot.in/2010/10/him-robot-endhiran.html

      Rajini movies are famous for regressive behavior and dialogues (though, to be fair, it is a feature of most indian movies I’ve seen). In some movie, he spouts the below pearl “It does not look good if men stay inside the house…it does not look good if women go outside the house”. What a nice way to say the public space is off-limits to women. I have lost count of the umpteen movies where Rajini’s sister gets raped by the villain and he gets her married off to the rapist (after the rapist has suitably repented, of course…cos that’s how real life works). There’s the movie where he goes up against an independent businesswoman (who is shown as arrogant, of course) and tames her into a docile wife…

      Other non-Rajini movies also have the same kind of problems. There is a movie where the heroine has a dream that the hero (who she hasn’t met yet) is going to rape her. One day, while going on an elevator, she sees the hero get on the elevator with his friend. She remembers the dream and becomes scared. What’s more, at the time the hero is telling a rape joke to his friend. She becomes even more scared….and that’s how their romance starts…WTF? The main character in that movie seduces and kills women who cheat on their lovers, boyfriends, fiancees, husbands etc. When he is finally caught and about to be sentenced, the policeman who is guarding him consoles him by saying that “Don’t worry…since you killed only cheating women, the judge will acquit you…” What kind of a retarded message must this movie have sent to the public…this movie was a huge hit…

      We can give many, many examples of such neanderthal movies…Given the kind of fan following that these actors and directors have and the abysmal state of women in our country, it will be nice if they show some social responsibility in their movies.

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  5. Of all the ones above, I find #6 the most revolting. Though I find the whole kidnapping stuff abhorring, but at the end of the day she’s willing to live a life without a child, but not with a girl child? That’s disgusting. I mustn’t say this, but I am glad she doesn’t have children. One less person whose mindset would need to be changed. If she had a son, he’d probably figure in the remaining 9 items you have mentioned. A daughter would be the mute victim of some such crime.

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  6. I am scared after reading the post. I am highly ashamed and feel terrible that after 65 years of independence, after including Article 14 in the Constitution of India, and belonging to the world’s largest democracy I feel there is nothing in this country to be proud of. There was. Might be. But, now right now, all I could think is getting a job in some other part of the world, where forget being respected, I would atleast be treated as a human being.

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    • nowadays all my women friends are thinking on similar lines.. we have money and jobs and friends here but we don’t feel safe here . We don’t want to be told directly or indirectly how to dress , talk , behave or otherwise we don’t know which phsyco will try to hurt us … you can’t get out of home without the fear of assault , you can’t open your mouth without being judged or thrashed … no wonder all my female friends don’t ever want to come back …

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      • My sis lives in New Jersey,USA. The other day at a gathering of known people, some jerk had squeezed her butt. She is scared to step out of home after dark as public transport in suburbs are limited after a specific hour. Her senior class had a farewell on a cruise & she heard of stories of groping, misbehavior under influence etc. Women like her are confused. Aren’t they safe in a so called modern thinking country? I come back home to India & I am harassed for what I wear. I go to USA & harassed for my colour. I go to Somalia I am shot. I go to Afghanistan I am raped. I go to Saudi & suffer to get a license to drive. Please tell me which place on our planet is a woman safe at all? Under the Ocean? Atop MT Everest? Paragliding until death?
        Patriotism has divided humanity.

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        • people get harrased on color in india , get rapped and shot also. If you are not allowed to have phone , driving license would be too far -fetched .. It seems Indians are picking up worst of all parts of world against women. Jerks will squeeze butt everywhere , but if you decide to tell police chances of him getting into trouble is higher there . Here people will tell you to stay at home with your butt . Here you are scared to go out even in your own car. And i refuse to compare India with Afghanistan , i definitely don’t want us to compare with that country and feel proud .

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  10. Bollywood’s obsession with ‘izzat’ is as old as itself. Ironically, most romance in Indian movies start as one-sided fixation (dubbed as ‘love at first sight’) and progress with stalking,molestation etc. What’s up with that ?!

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