What do these emails say about those who wrote them? Do you know somebody who would agree with these two emails?
I am sure there are women who have other options [meaning they are self reliant and have no social pressures to get married and stay married (or die trying)] and would still be willing to marry men like these email writers… but I do wonder why any woman would want to do that.
This is from the feisty blogger who received these two (and more such) emails.
Strangely I never knew I would be the centre of so much attention and that too male attention of some other kind. I started blogging as a means of being expressive about the atrocities we women face from being emotionally abused for being a girl to the physical torture we bear every day of our lives. I did a few posts on the cultural paradigm that the society is trapped in and how we women are often viciously the attention seekers for all the wrong reasons. A lot of guys mailed me often after reading my posts since I belong to a rigidly patriarchal society and as norm they didn’t expect a girl like me from the community. Lately though it started bothering me, with my dead grand parents and parents being the target. And only when I was thankful of not being a part of the community, I realized that even the www had no place for a girl like me who is just trying to make the society aware of the brutalities we are facing in the name of religion, culture and traditions and the solutions that can heal the wounded society.
Is it wrong that I am too vocal about the dowry practices in our community or the other unequal practices not finding favour with me.
What do you think.?
– Rinzu Rajan
And here are just two of those emails.
First email from a male reader:
…i read your posts and was horrified in the manner you had to bash out at the practice of surnames and their usage. why is it troubling you lady the age old practice that india and its women have followed.? and don’t you think acceptability into your husband’s household would be sought by both him and his parents.? accepting a husband’s first name has been the old adage in the south Indian communities that do not have defined family names. And i presume in all likelihood that you would be doing so in the future when you get married to show respect and adoration to your husband and his family. Women are not supposed to dominate men in the indian society and in the christian communities the man is the head of the woman as you might have read in the bible (verses 1 Corinthians 11:2) and further on in the other verses of the bible.
Also your posts on the practice of streedhanam (dowry) usage of minnu were just not acceptable. One girl’s words and actions or beliefs can’t change a tradition that is here to stay.I just hope that you give up on your nasty stubbornness before you get married. It is because of women like you that the divorce rates in india are on the rise.
THINK ABOUT IT.!
Regards and may god grant you wisdom
Second well meaning email from a male reader:
i found you to be a pretty girl by your facebook photos but had never though that women like you exist in this world. don’t you think girls should be pretty and shy and quiet and not be as arrogant as you are. what issues you have with marriageable age is still a question i am trying to ponder on? dont you think that (all) girls should get married by the age of 25 so that they can give birth to healthy kids and make a beautiful family. don’t you think girls were made to give birth to children and support a husband by cooking and cleaning for him. no matter how educated a girl is, ultimately she has to do all this for a husband and even my mother and sisters got married at the right age meant for a girl. then why question the marriageable age theory? i think even your parents might have thought of it and might be soon getting you married. no matter how many degrees you earn at the end of the day every girl is supposed to be a husband welfare organization and a momma welfare role as you said in your posts. and hoping god grants more wisdom to your parents to make your understand things and train you to be a good indian and christian wife.
god bless u
Updated to ask: Do you think Indian parents are under pressure to raise daughters who tolerate some amount of gender bias, injustice and unhappiness without complaining?