I did not think this was a pornographic mail.
How do you think would our Hindu Taliban groups react to an email like this? Would their reactions be different if the email was from a man?
What would be your advice to the email writer?
Here’s the mail:
Dear Indian Home maker
I am a regular reader on your blog although I never contribute by writing comments. I have a problem I want to talk about with you and your readers. I am going to be 40 soon and I am not married. I don’t know why I couldn’t get married – may be it was luck !
My parents are still looking for a boy for me but not enthusiastically as before. I think they have also resigned to the fact that I may not get married. As far as I am concerned I am also OK with the fact. I am independent, earn a good salary (I work in a public sector company) and lead a good life. Please don’t think I am sad or depressed because I am not married because in reality I am not.
I have always had friends who were boys, I still do but never ever had a “boyfriend”. So I have never been physical with any guy in my life.
At this stage of my life I am quite OK with not getting married, but what I am not OK with is that fact that I will never experience a physical relationship. I sometimes wonder what it is like to be emotionally close to a man and also to be in a physical relationship. Sometimes I don’t really want to die a virgin !
Also a part of me is so scared that if I meet a man now and get into a relationship, wont it be weird trying to have sex at 40 ! Imagine a virgin at 40 ! I know times are changing and people do have sex before they get married but I am not desperate to have a casual fling with anyone just to satisfy my curiosity .. But I am curious… do you think its silly to expect a physical relationship at this age .. I mean if I meet a man now I will be too embarrassed for him to find out I am still a virgin ! Am I behaving in a slutty manner because I have these thoughts?
Also this is a genuine question and not a pornographic mail.
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I live with my parents and we have a lot of relatives, so my social life is visiting them seeing the occasional movie … since beginning I have been reserved and not much of the party type anyway ! I have friends but since they are married I can’t have much of a social life with them ! We close friends discuss all sorts of issues including sex, but I never discussed this with them.
The problem is not that I live with my parents so i don’t have a guy .. they will be so happy if I find a guy ..and they are modern enough to allow dating but I am not able to find one !!!.. I don’t know may be because I have always been slightly reserved and not very gregarious ! ..and never made the first move ! My problem is not marriage or what society feels about me being unmarried.. that has been discussed endlessly on your blog … it is physical relationship and emotional bonding and feeling sad that I may die without experiencing them .. and a bit of embarrassment.
Thank you !