It’s difficult to understand how a son could tell his mother to wait at a railway platform while he gets the tickets, and then never return. Or how other sons, could say they would just get the mothers’ case papers (in hospitals), and the mothers keep waiting, the sons never come back. Satyamev Jayate this Sunday was about the elderly, and once again Amir Khan did not disappoint – please watch if you missed it, will blog about it in a separate post.
But what would you do in the situation described above?
Most elderly women (women over 60? 65?) I know might try to call this son from their cell phone. Or they would take the next bus or train or a cab back home, and some might make sure that he (and everybody else) knows about his irresponsible act.
Then, when they understand his intent was to abandon them, then although deeply disappointed and even heart broken at first, they would gather their courage and they would talk to their friends and family and others in their support system.
They would get in touch with others who have dealt with such situations. They would take some hard decisions. They would look at their options (and they would have options!!) They might ask this son to move out of their home; they might sell their property, khet, land, possessions and move to an old age home they can afford. Some might move closer to their other children – sons or daughters. Many would use disinheritance (however little their wealth) to convey their displeasure.
All this would only be possible if you were capable of finding your way home. If you were not restricted from using a cell phone. If you have a circle of trusted and empowered friends and connections you made in your long life. If you owned property and had savings. If you have worked, traveled, communicated, earned, been to hospitals, schools, railway stations and unknown cities, unescorted by a male relative, then you can’t be packed off to Vrindavan or abandoned at a public place in your old age.
Or if you were not aborted or left on a railway station as a child because your were so inconvenient to escort everywhere, protect from the eyes of gair mard, marry-off and supported life long.
What the Baghpat Khap or 36 Biradari Panchayat is doing is making it even more difficult for families to have and to raise women. Or even to be woman.
Indians claim to worship mothers but forget that mothers don’t grow on trees, they are born as little girl children, they are teenage girls with dreams and futures; and they are women capable of living their lives unescorted and unsupervised.