Now we know that in Indian culture,
1. We don’t bless mothers with ‘May you have many daughters‘.
2. We don’t allow a permanent identity (name, second name) to girl children.
3. We believe it’s human to expect some parents to think of some of their children as property of somebody else (‘paraya dhan‘)
4. We believe it’s okay for parents to teach some of their children to accept unhappy and limited lives as their destiny because they were born girls.
5. We need laws to discourage parents from killing their own girl children (sex selection, infanticide, honor killing).
Then how does such a culture deal with parents who are actually delighted to have girl children?
Sharing an email.
Verbatim to you – a mail from my sister (own) who has a 1 + year old baby girl and she is very ok with it (our kind) … you have some suggestion?
- A blog reader.
How are you? I have something to ask you. I am in Canada so I won’t be able to call you. If I am around people who think that having or giving birth to sons is everything in life how should I behave? I feel bad and at the same I get angry. I get emotional because I love my daughter so much, I feel that all these people are making me feel that in my life K’s
Importance is less because she is girl.
But I love K and I want them to know that K is sweetest child and I would never ask for anything more than this from God. I am not upset and not any trouble but I am asking you because I want to learn how should I protect my child. I know these people are sick who differentiate between gender. So just being quiet and ignoring their non sense conversation is the best option?
– K’s mom
Edited to add:
Here are some thing that I think might help.
1. Do not allow others to ask your daughter to perform girls’ chores around the house, like asking her to make tea or fetch water when there are other kids around her age who are not being asked to do the same because they are boys.
2. Don’t ever allow others to make her wait to eat until after the boys and men have eaten, or she gets hot chappaties from the kitchen while the boys are eating.
3. Firmly discourage (by ignoring) advice about teaching her to be a good future daughter in law.
4. Don’t discuss her marriage as her goal in life. Do talk about her future like any other child’s future, about your plans for her future career, self reliance, dreams and aspirations.
5. Don’t discuss or lay stress on her skin colour, height, features (sharp or not sharp), thickness of her hair.
Focus on her fitness and good health.
6. Let your family and friends see that she is loved and cherished by you, don’t be affected by any talk of how she would find it difficult to adjust with her in laws if she is loved and spoiled by her parents.
From a girl child - Shail