13 things Indian Misogynists believe about men’s mothers and sisters.

So the media coverage and public outrage has resulted in the police learning to do their job instead of attempting to pass the responsibility on the victim.

Night of terror at New Market: Girl molested in bar, chased, pulled out of bus and thrashed

KOLKATA: In the deserted New Market area, around 11.30 pm on Sunday, a young girl ran for her life from a group of molesters, chased by a band of locals who had joined in for fun. Bleeding from deep cuts, breathless and panic-stricken, she saw a bus … and made a desperate leap for it. To her horror, the gang stopped the bus, pulled her out and started beating her. No one in the bus raised a finger in protest.

The assault continued until the 21-year-old girl collapsed on the road … Just when she feared it would get worse, the attackers saw she was bleeding heavily from her injuries, lost their nerve and fled.

When TOI met her on Monday, she had her right hand in a sling. It took 14 stitches to seal her wound. “The horror will haunt me for the rest of my life. But I will fight till the molesters are put behind bars,” the gutsy north Kolkata girl said. …

Like the earlier incident, the accused in the New Market case are also businessmen. They were remanded in police custody on Monday.

As usual, the comments below the article bring out some interesting facts about the Indian culture and those who wish to uphold it the most.

Thanks for sharing the link Anil Singhal and Swarup.

How does this thinking affect the rest of the Indian women and men?

Here are 13 misogynistic ideas a typical Indian Misogynist defines, defends and upholds in the name of ‘Indian Culture’.

1. That it is okay in Indian culture to molest, rape, beat, chase and injure sex workers.

Sex workers (and any women who have sex with men they are not married to i.e. ‘gair mard’) do not deserve human rights.

2. Sex workers do not have a right to choose who they have sex with.

And here’s why this is so:

3. Because sex workers are only there to ensure that sexual criminals do not attack ‘normal women who stay at home after 10 pm’.

4. But although sex workers are needed and available for these men to be kept in check – normal women must still stay at home.

5. Women staying at home has made public spaces safer for ‘the weaker sex’ in India.

(And hence, Indian women would become even more empowered if they stayed even more at home and stopped working night shifts or working after dark or working at all.)

Girl should not be at bar 11 PM in the night.Girls are too obsessed with the way men can go anywhere anytime & want to roam around freely like that. They are mistaken that their movements must be restricted as they are weaker sex. Please respect our culture and tradition.

6. It’s natural (and hence has to be catered for) for men to want to rape women when they have had a few drinks,

she should be equally blamed for creating this unwanted situation, every man knows inside pub what he requires next after having enough drinks.

7. If women go out after dark they should be escorted by men.

But.

8. Women should not go anywhere with gair-mard (boy friends, unrelated men).

And.

9. No man would ever take his wife, mother or sister to a pub.

(Since they really believe this, they should read Provocatively Dressed).

10. Brothers, husbands, fathers and sons have the right to decide where and when mothers, sisters, daughters and wives go.

Will you allow your Mom to go out in the night @ 11 with boyfriends in Pub to get high? – Think about it, dont fall prey for some sympathetic story.

11. The biggest insult to a misogynist has to do with failing to control the sex lives of the female members of his family and community.  Basically, it seems, women having a sex life is an insult to Misogynists related to them.

And here’s an example of how Typical Indian Misogynists are insulted. This is not an insult to the comment writer who is claiming to have fathered the other commenter.

Hey.. I met your mother at a Bar.. and that too a third grade Bar..you get the point and rest is history.

12. Sex workers are a bad influence on men who would otherwise go home to their families.

What kind of girl comes out the home after 10pm. . .& that too for the bar . . .just think over her culture . . . ? ? Normal Indian women will be in the home within 10pm. . & our people are supporting her for her courage. . . many men come to bars either to drink or to pick up girls. i think if girls maintains their character nice means max problem solved. picking up girls will be stopped. . men will directly go to their house many of the family problem will be solved & their wives will be happy. . . about their husbands. . .

13. Women who do visit pubs and want to drink should be willing to have sex with anybody – as a kind of price to pay for thinking they can do things which Indian culture allows only men to do.

also if u r trying to depict the western culture then u might as do it fully , if the guys approach u for one night stands… then y not go ahead if u so much like the firangs???

This commenter (like some in Delhi Police) has clearly no concept of women having a choice in who they want to have one night stands with.

Maybe a woman influenced by ‘western culture’ did go to a pub with the plan to find a sexual partner like ‘firangs’ – but an Indian Misogynists doesn’t seem to realise that she still has a right to choose who she has sex with. (Reminds you of Delhi Police, Andhra police and some Karanataka Ministers?)

***

One commenter does wonder,

if going to pub is not good and not safe, then why pubs are allowed to run.

Related Posts:

Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.

“…if this thing comes out my husband will think my wife is after all not that ‘pure’ or is not that ‘untouched flower’”

What is wrong with misogyny and patriarchy?? – Yamini Krishna

148 thoughts on “13 things Indian Misogynists believe about men’s mothers and sisters.

  1. “I met your mother at a bar.. That too a third grade bar. You get the point and the rest is history”
    Wow
    Aren’t moms allowed to have a sex life?
    And the SON will control where the MOM goes?

    I do NOT want my kid(s) to develop any INDIAN values (read:patriarchal)

    I actually LAUGHED when I read most of the stuff. So hillarious. You can never make such people see sense. Don’t even bother trying. *!@#tards

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    • One of my cousin actually tells his Mom what to wear and what not, and on top of it, she proudly tells this to everyone. I can’t find words to express my disgust. Seriously, where are we heading ?!😦

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    • Oh yeah, that most disdainful of responses that’s quite familiar in any Indian forum, “will you allow your mother or sister to do that”. The operative word being “allow”! That one question is sufficient evidence of our society’s attitude to women. Not saying western culture is perfect, but it’s not coincidental that western societies are better off than the rest of the world – so perhaps it may be in our favor to try and appreciate some of the better aspects of western civilization.

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    • Sadly, “yo mama” jokes are very common in the US, too. This is one of those select few cases where getting away from Indian culture doesn’t make much of a difference!😦 The patriarchy really is everywhere, even if it sometimes feels like it’s a bit weaker int eh West than it is in India.

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  2. Typical! They should read Dorothy L Sayer’s book ‘Are Woman Human?’ Quoting from a blurb,

    ‘The gist of Sayers’ argument is captured in a quote she takes from DH Lawrence: “Man is willing to accept woman as an equal, as a man in skirts, as an angel, a devil, a baby-face, an instrument, a bosom, a womb, a pair of legs, a servant, an encyclopedia, an ideal or an obscenity; the one thing he won’t accept her as is a human being, a real human being of the feminine sex.” Such was her radically simple argument, that women be acknowledged as human beings, and only subsequently labeled as a subset of human beings qualified by biology, culture, ethnicity, age, economics, nationality, and so on.’

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  3. So everything and everyone to be blamed – except the molesters…. They are the poor, helpless men who were forced to do what they did….

    Oh women! why don’t you all just shut up and lock yourself forever in basements of your houses…Perhaps that would make this world a better place to be in..*

    *sarcasm alert

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  4. What kind of society are we living in? I am appalled by the comments written there… and the biggest threat is that it is being passed from one generation to another. Mob mentality, its ok to suppress, rape, beat women… what is the future?

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  5. Ok, so a woman cannot go to without a male escort, she cannot go with an outside male, and must go with a family male only. However a male must not take her. So why are they going to such depths of elaboration when they should just write a one liner that a woman quite simply must not go.

    So sex workers exist to satiate men and they don’t attack other women. So it is not the problem that the people have criminal tendencies, and we must target that. No we must satiate them instead, why not have satiate them for all their tendencies

    It is natural for men to want to rape after drinking? What non sense, I never felt that during or after drinking.. Does this mean I am not a man? I would rather not be in such a case. After drinking people tend to lose their inhibitions and be their root core selves. If the root core selves of people are such tendencies, then we must target on improving that. And come think of it if such men feel like raping after drinking, why not ban drinking in the first place?

    Writing all this seems tautological..

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    • Misogynists don’t base their arguments on logic. They never have. They base arguments on catchphrases like ‘culture’, ‘society’, ‘values’ and so forth. The whole structure is a house of cards, but you know what? The kind of people you see in TOI comment sections don’t care. They don’t care. As long as they can find some flimsy rationalization, some justification for their privilege, they’ll repeat it ad nauseum no matter how many holes you shoot into their theories.

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      • Please tell me one TOI article where there has been at least 10 sensible comments. I request IHM to steer away from TOI articles. The comments do not reflect any sane person’s viewpoint.

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        • Chandru,

          It’s not that uncommon to hear apologism for rape in real life too. From very sane people, rest assured. I agree that TOI comments are really crazy, but I don’t think any of us are really basing our general opinions upon those. At least, I am not.

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        • In this article itself, the most “agree”d to comments are the ones which support the woman’s right to be where ever she wants to be. Somehow these sane agreeing people don’t seem to actually make a comment though.

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    • sex workers r there so men dont attack ‘normal’ women– going by this logic we should have some spare people who like to be killed or robbed so ‘normal’ people are not harmed bcoz it is so natural of people to think of killing or robbing these should also not b considered crimes

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    • Perhaps these are men to whom rape is the same as sex? To such a person, what would it matter if a woman walking on the street wants to have sex or not, whether their wives/girlfriends want to or like to have sex with them or not? These men want to, drunk or otherwise. Whenever such men want to rape (read ‘have sex’), what choice can a woman possibly have?

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    • Not at all. But the misogynists in the comments claim that anybody (who’s not a man) in a bar after 10 can only be a sex worker and that this sex worker deserves to be raped. Why? Because sex workers’ job is to get raped. So we need not even get into whether or not she was a sex worker – let her be an engineer, construction worker, a teacher, unemployed , or a sex worker – she still has the right to not be sexually assaulted.

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  6. Situation – molested, beaten, mobbed, chased
    Response – Meh

    Situation – She was in a bar
    Response – GASP!!!!

    We’re a nation of a billion+ idiots.

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  7. Just waiting for the day when chemical castration becomes a punishment for dangerous molesters and rapists in India. Will we ever see it in the near future?

    As for the cowardly, spineless, namesake humans in the bus, I hope the image of that suffering girl haunts them for the rest of their lives and they never forgive themselves for the help that they could not bring themselves to offer. Slowly losing all hope that any shreds of humanity exist in Indian society…

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  8. This cracked me up – Will you allow your Mom to go out in the night @ 11 with boyfriends in Pub to get high?
    I had no idea children can boss around their moms!
    Is she allowed to choose the Prime Minister? Yes.
    Is she allowed to go to a pub at 11? No.
    IHM,
    You must read the comments on TOI on various topics. They are a revelation. They are the true mirror of our pre-historic society which will show no sign of any massive change for at least another 200 years (I am being optimistic here). In India, people do not know how to argue and put their point in a balanced way. That is why most of the comments in TOI end up with bashing a specific gender or religion.
    People in India cannot get a simple concept in their brains – An adult have certain rights. You cannot boss around an adult. You can only give your opinion.
    -If a sex worker is an adult, it is her right to refuse whenever she wants.
    -If a woman is an adult, she can go to a pub @2 AM if she wants.
    -If man is an adult and if he molests a woman, he is solely responsible.

    I wish there was something in this country which has not yet started crumbling.

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    • Yes and it is shocking – I guess these commenters don’t realise it because they live it everyday and can’t see how else can it possibly be,

      “The survey, polling 370 gender specialists, found Canada to be the best place to be a woman amongst G20 nations, excluding the European Union economic grouping. Saudi Arabia was the second worst, after India.”

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    • I do not think we should even refer to them as ‘our women’. We do not own them. They are independent human beings. They should simply be referred to as ‘Indian females’.

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  9. Ewww these people… Stuff your heads n public toilets & for god’s sake never surface again!! I gt headache after 10-15 comments… Last time when I felt this sick was when I read about that harijan’s sentance for molesting 10-month girl got reduced…

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  10. I’ve stopped reading TOI. Not because the reporting is bad (it is) – but because, in a perverse way, it reflects with uncomfortable accuracy the honest sentiments and mentality of majority Indians. That this demographic represents mostly urban population – the english-speaking office-goers/students logging on to spew venom – is a tragic state of affairs.

    They come up with such hateful comments on almost everything. I think the absolute abyss was reached in Arushi murder case – these bas*ards don’t even spare a dead child when it comes to their sickening views on morality. In a recent news, a guy was found dead in a car in Blore. it was almost like a C.I.S case – his head was covered with plastic bags, secured with duct tapes; and I think his whole body was wrapped in feet of duct tape. The police ‘closed’ the case saying it was suicideo_O. TOI promptly reported about how this guy was crazy about a girl he met on FB, and she had used a wrong identity. You can imagine the pure acid in the comment section.

    In yet another case, a girl was hacked to death in broad daylight, in a very popular, busy residential area. TOI promptly reported that the girl was ‘moving’ around with a man whom she did not love or some shit like that. Of course most comments were ‘she deserved it’.

    In another case, a well paid IT guy meticulously planned the murder of wife. It was absolutely cold-blooded. He made her sit on a chair blind-folded. She thought its a surprise gift – some jewellry around her neck. It was a wire or some such thing – it was a noose basically. TOI promptly reported that there were ‘marital issues’. the guy reportedly confessed he was angry with her because she forced him to live separately from his parents and she did not adjust. THe girl’s parents spoke of her mental harassment in the hands of in-laws. Do i need to say whom the ‘public’ supported? Yes, she apparently deserved her death.

    It is sickening, sickening, sickening.

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    • Sumana, I agree. I often wonder if these ToI comments are a genuine reflection of the average Indian\’s attitude to women.

      Deep down I know that they are, but I like to live in denial and insist that it\’s just a few thousand men in the 18-30 age group, spewing venom against women because it makes them feel powerful.

      This morning, as I was leaving for work, I overheard my neighbour, a retired Superintendent of Police berating his wife in Kannada. He said, \”Remember your place and don\’t try to use your brain and tongue too much. It doesn\’t suit women.\”

      Daily life often throws up grim reminders of just how little respect women are given in our society. It jars the protective bubble I create for myself everyday.

      If I allowed the \”real\” India to really get to me, I’d go nuts.

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  11. Should I hope I don’t have a baby girl because I’m not sure of the kind of future I will be providing her with. I sure won’t stop her from asserting herself and doing things she feels are right, but I can’t see her go through hell in the hands of these misogynists either. I’m torn. I feel sorry for the girl. I feel sorry for the womenfolk of India. I feel sorry for myself that however much hue and cry I make things are not changing. I’m sorry that we as a nation fail to give equal rights to men and women. I just feel sorry.
    I must relocate I guess.

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  12. You made me get off my lazy butt and write a post😛. You know changes are there, small ones, big ones. India in which I was born is not the India which we see today. Women have more independence, more rights and are definitely better educated. The thing is that men feel threatened, and anonymity on the internet makes them bold enough to spout idiotic things which would make their wives and daughters bash them up in real life!

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  13. After reading this post one might get an impression that what some Indian men aspire to is extremism of the Talibans. Just that religious sentiments go behind the moronic logic, not the other way round.

    I always have a laugh when I read these *clever* comparisons to Western culture. This sex obsession is far from healthy.

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  14. Don’t know whether I should laugh or be annoyed. I mean, this is just… what do you even say to a person who thinks you should control your MOTHER’S movements? WTF!

    My advice for this bunch would be to save their breath, because they’ll be certainly needing it to inflate their dates. Any sentient partner they get is unlikely to be there voluntarily.

    Honestly.😕

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  15. Mamta benerjeee is too busy in deciding about the president and what not , then to think of the law and order in her own state capital .. Strange are the ways ..

    I feel the people who hurt the little girl be Done the SAME , brought in a CHAURAHA and slapped by every passer by..

    Regarding the comments and all well this is the mentality and this mentality is of a MAJORITY of population , I wonder when will it change.

    It is sad to read all this

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  16. I agree with the fact that India is not as safe as America or any other safer nation when it comes to women but i think this whole scenario is best explained by the overall violence that occurs and not the mindset of the Indian society. I think Indian women are subjected to molestation, robbery and rapes not because India perceives them to be inferior but because crime rate in India is generally very high. A well built man too can be attacked or robbed in certain places of the city and you therefore cant attribute attacks on women as having anything to do with the mindset of the Indian society. I think people including men ( yes men too) are best advised not to enter places that have a high rate of criminal activity because you can be extremely vulnerable regardless of your gender. And also, Women being physically less capable (they are bad runners too) are not able to defend themselves most of the times and men on the other hand are physically more capable and hence their chances of being attacked are far less. Now how can anyone ever think of violence on women being related to Indian mindset?. Let me tell me you something, a criminal is not sound enough to think of society, values, gender bias or any other intellectual topic. Whatever i have said is straightforward and that is what ultimately matters when a criminal is pointing a sinister weapon at you lol. So stop ridiculing Indian values and make sure you practice caution while hanging around at night.

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    • Oh Susobh,
      Tsk tsk. You poor wanting-to-be contradictory boy.
      I will make it simple for you:
      1. Read the news article about the crime.
      2. Read the comments. For reference, here is the link http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/opinions/14036004.cms?commenttype=disagree&sorttype=bycount
      3. “So stop ridiculing Indian values and make sure you practice caution while hanging around at night” – The Indian values are being ridiculed since most of commenters in the TOI article say that the woman deserved it or wanted to be raped or is a prostitute or blame her parents for bad upbringing or ask her to stay at home to take care of the parents.
      4. The Indian values is being attacked in this post because NOTHING is being said of the businessmen who were also at the pub, also at 11.30 and were also not at home taking care of their parents.
      5. Interestingly, one of the commenters mentions how she is wearing sleeveless even in the hospital and “hence” has loose morals – Indian Mindset?

      See? Its very simple.

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    • I’ve heard a lot of apologists in my life, but the sheer crassness of your whingeing takes the cake.

      Here’s some food for thought for you:

      Rape is, almost without exception, a nonrandom, highly specific form of violence. Rapists are not just people who are engaging in a criminal activity, they are people engaging in a very specific kind of criminal activity that is not only tolerated by our culture, but in many ways, encouraged.

      There are cultural paradigms at work here which may not actually be part of the conscious thought process of the average street rapist, but are actually defining factors as far as the personal behavior of that person goes. Just because you cannot ARTICULATE exactly how the culturally determined variables in your environment affect your daily actions does not mean that they does not affect your actions at all.

      The way Indian society reacts to rape is frankly appalling, and to even suggest that this has no effect on the mentality of the average Indian rapist is absurd. That is precisely what you are doing.

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    • You, sir, are a fine specimen of an ostrich.

      A well built man too can be attacked or robbed in certain places of the city and you therefore cant attribute attacks on women as having anything to do with the mindset of the Indian society.

      This is a red herring. You are being extremely ignorant when you lump together attacks and robberies with rape. Rape is essentially a power game, one that puts the sexual vulnerability (often culturally indoctrinated) of a man or woman at play.

      And also, Women being physically less capable (they are bad runners too) are not able to defend themselves most of the times and men on the other hand are physically more capable and hence their chances of being attacked are far less.

      Citations? You make it sound all physiological. If you claim there is no element of cultural basis to you claim of ‘men being attacked is far less’, then yes, you are showing more ignorance.

      Now how can anyone ever think of violence on women being related to Indian mindset?
      Don’t get your pants in a bunch because someone attacked ‘Indian’ culture. Replace ‘Indian’ with any patriarchal, misogynistic mindset and that statement is still true. Current Indian culture – the one where khap panchayats exist – it is misogynistic.

      Let me tell me you something, a criminal is not sound enough to think of society, values, gender bias or any other intellectual topic.

      The intellectualizing happens afterwards. It’s a post hoc analysis. But the analysis is still true – it betrays a mindset. Again, if you can’t tell the difference, you need to be more aware.

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    • Actually women can’t run because…as you mentioned in one of your previous comments…’daughters are lazy’. Yeah that’s right…we don’t run because we feel lazy. We see the bad men and we think..’aah what’s a couple of thrashings really – who the hell will run?’ So we stand there and yawn and stretch and wait for the baddies to catch up.

      but ‘nuf said …pass around that joint you smoke…really…that’s the only way we can ‘understand’ your comments, or atleast figure out your ‘sense of humour’.

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    • Oh dear! You have missed the point here completely. Yes! the crime rate in India is high but is there not a difference in the way people react when it is robbery/murder opposed to a rape? In the former, people and officials sympathise with the victim but in the latter they persecute the victim.

      Again, rapes are not committed by criminals alone in India.

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  17. You’re getting it wrong. Sure, we can’t expect criminals not to commit crimes. There will always be crimes.
    However, we blame the mindset which shifts the blame from the criminal to the victim. We do not say _ that criminal should be punished ASAP. No. We say “oh well, criminals will be criminals. Rapists will be rapists. We should just stop going out.”
    That is wrong on SO many levels. Should we stop doing what we want for the fear of criminals? NO.
    We should make our police and judiciary system SO effective that they DO NOT DARE to do it. And social bias plays a very important role here because – believe it or not – police-people and judges live in our society too.
    Many people REFUSE to report rape or sexual crimes because of societal biases. And when they don’t report it the criminals go off unscathed and commit the crime again.
    Why? They know nothing is gonna happen. SOCIAL BIAS.
    Get real, dude. Social bias plays a very imp role.
    Victims(esp of sexual crimes) are encouraged to keep shut.

    And, perhaps it would interest you to know – most rapes and sexual harassment take place in a familiar place and by familiar people – even in their HOMES.
    The victims do not come forward. SOCIAL BIAS.
    The criminals do it again – maybe to the same person. SOCIAL BIAS.
    And if the victim does speak out, it is considered a shame for the victims family who instead of supporting her put the blame on HER (she must have worn something revealing or done something which put the criminal totally over the edge. and if a boy comes forward, he is told to “enjoy himself” because obviously men can’t feel sexually harassed or women sexual harassers – she is just a slut) SOCIAL BIAS.
    They are discouraged to file cases. SOCIAL BIAS.
    Therefore, in some way this (patriarchal) society is RESPONSIBLE for the high crime rates and how the “shame” falls on the victim.
    Seriously, can’t you see ANY of this?
    Are you blind?

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    • PS criminals – along with the police and judges- live in society too and have been socially conditioned in a way that encourages them to satiate their inherent(maybe) criminal urges.

      *victim’s

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  18. @ Sushobh

    Everyone here knows that ‘practising caution’ is what is eventually what we will have to do. The question is why are we made to do that?
    And let me tell you, these crimes are very much linked to the mindset of the Indian society. I lived in an Indian metro all my life before I moved to the US 4 years back, so my opinion is based on first-hand impressions of two societies. In the US, I have gone to pubs at 1-2 in the night with friends and alone and I have ALWAYS felt perfectly safe .And that is not because crime rate is low in the US. Rapes happen here too but NOBODY here justifies the crime and puts the blame on the victim. In a pub in the US,at most, some men will ask you if they can buy you a drink and if you are not interested, they will walk away.
    Why I have felt safe here is because some codes of conduct can be expected of men/women in the US society which does not include thoughts like
    (i) “she should not be in a bar at 11 in the night anyway and since she is, she surely is a woman of ‘bad’ character and therefore, it is okay if someone misbehaves with her”
    (ii) “she is in a bar and is modernly dressed so she is open to ‘anything’
    (iii)” women who are in a bar at 11 in the night do not/ need not have a choice of who they want to have sex with because hey if she is out at 11, what kind of a girl she would be anyway?

    Such thoughts are very specific to the Indian society, which is why women-related crimes are justified (the TOI article on this case is proof enough). And so I do not feel safe in India. And also because law enforcement in India is pathetic.

    If only people like you can extend your thought process a bit more and think about why the crime rate in India is high and not stop thinking at
    ” crime rate is high, so u must exercise caution”? And no, it is not just because of the bad government and law enforcement.

    The high crime rate is mainly a result of of the mindset of the Indian society. The high crime rate going uncontrolled is as a result of the bad govt/law enforcement and AGAIN the Indian society because at some level, the Indian society really doesn’t consider this a crime of any significance anyway.

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  19. Now you know why my blood pressure rises when I read the comments on TOI! But somehow I still read them because I should know what so many people are thinking.

    Incidently, this bullshit about the “weaker sex” is hilarious. As if a man would have had a better chance against 5-6 goons chasing him down and beating them. This has nothing to do with strength. Just plain goondagiri.

    And yes – many people seem to think they own their mothers and sisters.

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  20. Disgusting!! Forget about the girl going to bar, these people do not have a minimum courtesy towards a fellow human being, that she is hurt so badly. Education doesn’t change the mindsets of people. We Indians brag about our traditions, cultures, etc. Bull shit! This is our culture? To molest, chase and beat up a woman to death? These a……s should be given such a treatment that they won’t look at women in their life. No wonder you read stories of women cutting off the private parts of men.

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  21. I’m reminded of an incident a few years ago, We had a iron wala , whose wife was very well known to us. they plied their trade during the day at night she stayed in a basti type dwelling, One day she came home black & blue and when i asked her she said her husband drank and was fallen in the street and when she went to pick him up adn drag him home some men tried assaulting her, I was horrified and took her to the nearest chowk where they gave us the runa round till i mentioned my nae nad my husbands name and our residence and miraculously a report was filed, of course no one was going ot take her word on the culprits description and go find them.. anyway i had her stay with our cook for a few days and then she went back, a few days later she again turned up – beaten.. she told me she went to get her husband again early ( so as to avoid the menace) an dhe got upset and beat her for daring ot go near a bar type place and luring men !!!!!! WTF … so i gave her bhusband a piece of my mind na dtold her next time he drinks an dfalls let him rot there. why bother risking her life, maybe she’ll get lucky and a car will run ove the good-for nothing. anyway she’s quite capabale of working and supporting herself and maybe she’ll even save money without him to blow it on booze….oh boy you should have seen his face and anger .. he started yelling about rich loose woman ( me🙂 ) not that i cared, till my husband came out, then he shut up and fled…
    the poor lady, she’s blamed for everything. help your husband – get attacked , else still et attacked… we finally convinced her to dump him ,she got kicked out of her dwelling – since she dumped her mard !!!! she works in a garment factory and comes by occasionally to chat, seems happy or atleast ahppier than she was with him… but that is our culture and plight of women .

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    • Thanks for the link Nitya. Compared to the comments quoted in the article, Sushobh’s comments are like a Shakespearan sonnet.

      I also found the part about men’s base urges being more difficult to control interesting.

      It partly explains why men engage in high-risk sexual behavior so often.
      A woman, however high her libido would have never done what Bill Clinton did.

      I recomment another insightful book, “Misogny” by anthropologist David Gilmore.

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  22. Okay self proclaimed feminist women , i really need to put forth a bit more of my argument and try and see if you people can get some sense into your heads. Rape is a crime and we need to tackle it, but it doesnt mean that you should go around asking for it. Its just like falling of a cliff and then groaning saying “hey cliff you cheated and i am gonna curse you (curses dont work anymore sorry)”. Well, nothing is really going to change, rapes occur in Canada too and no amount of crying ( yes literally) is good enough to put a full stop. Crime can be reduced but it can never ever be terminated not in a billion years unless offcourse what the Mayans said actually comes true this december. Now let me discuss the people who do not encourage rape victims to report to the police, i feel its simple enough to understand. Most of the Men are not going to marry a female rape victim and vice versa and therefore your life can get into a jeopardy and thats why such cases are not reported. Even in the western nations a rape victim is generally avoided because she may be suffering from mental trauma, may have a deeprooted and unexplained bias towards men ( it may not be true with a small number of rape victims, but i along with every person on this earth would never ever dream of taking a chance). Now most of the women who have been sensible enough to acknowledge a man’s desire to not marry a rape victim will not challenge the cliff ( lol’d really hard, and yes by cliff i mean a criminal). And coming to the comments posted on TOI (very respected mind you but since it consists of those comments some people here have questioned its credibility which is stupid) , can anyone tell me how many people have just been trolling around the site just to say something really funny and stupid? And women never go around chasing men, its the men that do (yes in america as well lol) and can anyone tell me what really passed on between the victim and the criminal just before the crime actually occured? Can anyone testify that the women never encouraged the men in their own way and then to defend themselves , placed the blame on the poor little innocent criminal ?( i am sorry if i am being rude). Okay just forget everything and tell me if you find any connection between the Indian mindset and what ACTUALLY happened?. So please, from now on do not jump to any conclusion simply because you get the chance to portray yourself as a strong, level headed and a modern Indian feminist (which you are not i am afraid) and also a lot of people file false cases just to earn some sympathy and hence we need to take all the things into consideration and not jump to the aid of the woman which by the way is ridiculously prejudicial. Sorry if i gulped up too much space.

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    • Wow man. That was a full-on misogynistic tirade! I don’t know where to start! Now, I only have one thing to say – please look up ‘mansplaining’ in google. That is what you are doing.
      And no cliff analogies please. Men are humans, not inanimate objects who are programmed to rape. If that is so, we should lock em up in zoos and ooze some sperm out when we want kids.
      Asking for it?
      This is something I got from gotstared.at .
      Something along the lines of –
      You raped her because her clothes provoked you?
      I should break your face, your stupidity provokes me

      Your fault, man.
      Not mine.
      Go to a hospital with a cardboard over your face so that you do not provoke me again.

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      • Also, ladies- do not marry this man. Don’t even think about it. He may suffer from trauma and deep distrust of all women (most probably) because of the crime he provoked me to do.

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    • Sushobh, you yourself are evidence of the link between the Indian mindset and India’s high rates of sexual violence.

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    • The difference between rape and falling off a cliff is that the cliff is not a person with choice. Your argument is similar to saying “be careful where you walk otherwise you might fall int a manhole”. Again, the manhole doesn’t have free agency. A manhole is not responsible for its actions.

      Rapists on the other hand, choose to rape. You can’t state it as a law that “it will happen” as if a mountain is raping them! It’s a person who is choosing to do it and that makes all the difference.

      In fact, your attitude is very revealing. When you choose who to blame – the victim or the rapist, you choose to defend the latter and say “Oh, he had no choice!” Bullshit. Everyone has a choice. You talk about provocation. I say that I can very easily control myself even if a woman is naked in front of me and says “no”.

      It’s time people took responsibility for their actions which is not very fashionable in India. In India, everyone wants to blame someone else for their choices. Some religious nut goes on a rampage and blames a book or a speech. They themselves are not responsible! Oh no! They were provoked!

      A man rapes a woman and guess what? He was provoked! He is in no way responsible for his choices. In fact, he is the real victim! Poor guy…he had no choice. That evil, evil woman made him do it.

      Or take even an adult women who freely enters into a relationship with a man and then complains that he won’t marry her after living together for several years. She was forced into living with him after all! She’s the victim.

      Spare me this bullshit. We have to grow up, take responsibility for our actions and realize what it means to be free.

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      • Maybe Sushob should practice the caution he preaches and not concern troll on a website where people tend to find his views anachronistic and idiotic.
        His rant had all the classic elements – “I am not trying to provoke but..” then ” don’t go against our ancient culture” then ” feminists are evil” and ” they ask for it” and finally “men have it bad too- specially from the feminists”. It does take some talent to condense into just two posts what lots of people talk about in TOI and rediff comments in hundreds of poets.
        Sushob’s posts could be referenced on any equal rights discussion labelled as “what all the detractors say” and they would hold regardless of topic- dowry, education, rights, anything. IHM, I suggest we could throw in a reference to his comments on any discussion we have- that way he can be spared the trouble of typing out the same badly written illogical rants and we the agony of having to go over them afresh. We could just reference them – because they are just as meaningless in any other discussion as they are here.

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    • At first, I was going to say that I have nothing to say too. But guess what, I do. I have a lot to say.

      But riddle me this one first: Are you really this stupid or are you doing it just to annoy people?

      Rape is a crime and we need to tackle it, but it doesnt mean that you should go around asking for it.

      Whoops, must be my eyesight, because guess what, I don’t see ANYONE asking for it.

      Its just like falling of a cliff and then groaning saying “hey cliff you cheated and i am gonna curse you (curses dont work anymore sorry)”

      No it’s not, because the cliff doesn’t purposely trip you up. Rape is not something that just happens to you. There’s a criminal to blame, a criminal who we have ways of bringing to justice.

      Falling off a cliff: Accident
      Being the victim of rape: Not an accident

      Clear?

      Well, nothing is really going to change, rapes occur in Canada too and no amount of crying ( yes literally) is good enough to put a full stop. Crime can be reduced but it can never ever be terminated not in a billion years unless offcourse what the Mayans said actually comes true this december

      So obviously, we should just sit about, wringing our hands. What’s the point? We can’t eliminate crime so let’s stop trying. We can’t stop people from cheating on exams, so let’s just accept some cheating. We can’t guarantee food to every single person on earth, so let’s just sit around, because some people are going to die anyway.

      The fact that crime cannot end is about as relevant to this discussion as is the fact that my house is made of bricks.

      Most of the Men are not going to marry a female rape victim and vice versa and therefore your life can get into a jeopardy and thats why such cases are not reported.

      Because a woman’s only object in life is to get married and stay married. Very elegant theory. And obviously, it has nothing to do with such things as patriarchal concepts of family ‘honor’.

      Even in the western nations a rape victim is generally avoided because she may be suffering from mental trauma, may have a deeprooted and unexplained bias towards men ( it may not be true with a small number of rape victims, but i along with every person on this earth would never ever dream of taking a chance).

      Complete hokum. Most rape victims never develop unexplained biases against men, although they may suffer from post-traumatic stress related issues. It’s really a blessing for rape victims that people like you avoid them. You’re doing them a big favor.

      Now most of the women who have been sensible enough to acknowledge a man’s desire to not marry a rape victim will not challenge the cliff ( lol’d really hard, and yes by cliff i mean a criminal)

      I can hardly breathe for laughter. You’re quite the comedian.

      As a man, I don’t have any such desire. So when you’re making these world-sweeping generalizations, you’ll keep the chatter focused on yourself, and not the rest of us.

      And coming to the comments posted on TOI (very respected mind you but since it consists of those comments some people here have questioned its credibility which is stupid) , can anyone tell me how many people have just been trolling around the site just to say something really funny and stupid

      Respected by who? You? TOI is not one of the better papers I’ve read. Their reporting is lousy, their op-eds are ponderous, pompous and largely nonsensical, and I’m not in awe of their advertising policy either.

      nd women never go around chasing men, its the men that do (yes in america as well lol) and can anyone tell me what really passed on between the victim and the criminal just before the crime actually occured? Can anyone testify that the women never encouraged the men in their own way and then to defend themselves , placed the blame on the poor little innocent criminal ?

      How does it even matter? The man RAPED her. In legal terms, he had penetrative sexual intercourse with a woman without her full consent and under Section 375 of the IPC that is RAPE. End of story. Everything else is bullsh*t spun out of thin air and has absolutely no bearing on the crime. No matter what the perceived provocation, you CANNOT have sex with a woman without her full consent and agreement. Is that concept really so hard to comprehend?

      Okay just forget everything and tell me if you find any connection between the Indian mindset and what ACTUALLY happened?

      Of course I can.

      II can find a thousand connections in the way the people just looked on, the way people have been questioning the victim’s motives before condemning the goddamn criminal, the way the people assume that a woman is fair game just because she’s in a bar after 11, the way there is talk of mothers and sisters, but none of the crime itself.

      You have to blind not to see the connection. Rape can happen anywhere, but the reactions to it, and therefore the support systems are very different.

      So please, from now on do not jump to any conclusion simply because you get the chance to portray yourself as a strong, level headed and a modern Indian feminist (which you are not i am afraid)

      Yeah, and you were given the mandate to judge, when?

      Cut the condescension, son. It’s not going to get you anywhere, I can tell you that.

      also a lot of people file false cases just to earn some sympathy and hence we need to take all the things into consideration and not jump to the aid of the woman which by the way is ridiculously prejudicial.

      Yeah, let’s not jump to any conclusions. The only witnesses are a bus full of people. Why give any credence to them? Let’s think about the criminal first.

      Gotta be a false case, eh?

      Sorry if i gulped up too much space.

      It would’ve been worth it if you had anything to say. Unfortunately, you’ve got nothing but pathetic whingeing and more whingeing. Your mindset disgusts me.

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      • I pity the woman who consents to marry Sushobh.

        I just hope he stays far, far away from women in real life. His views on women are just horrifying.

        I wonder how he treats women in real life if his comments are a reflection of his real self?

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    • “Rape is a crime and we need to tackle it, but it doesnt mean that you should go around asking for it. Its just like falling of a cliff and then groaning saying “hey cliff you cheated and i am gonna curse you (curses dont work anymore sorry)”.”

      Okay, I’m gonna spit it out to you as coherently as possible as the above comment is classic rape apologism – which no decent human being should resort to, No women EVER asks to be raped, EVER. If you’re on about “Oh she didn’t cover up properly” rubbish, then that’s utter garbage. There is absolutely no correlation between rape and dress, rape is about power and domination, they don’t give a flying fuck about the dress of the victim.

      And I don’t even see how your cliff analogy works. Not being raped is not some privilege women ought to earn. Comments like the above just promotes such perspective. Doesn’t matter if a women is naked or if she was wearing a hijab, rape is rape and 100% of the blame goes to the rapist. How hard a concept is that to grasp?

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    • “Most of the Men are not going to marry a female rape victim….”

      Sushobh, stop assuming that all men are spineless misogynists like yourself.

      I know a woman who was abducted and raped by a class-mate on her way back from college one day in Delhi.

      Her family filed a police complaint against the rapist. However, he was the son of a local politican and threatened to rape her again if she did not withdraw her complaint. The woman fled to a southern city fearing for her life.

      There she met her now husband. This man helped to heal her broken spirit and self-confidence.He supported her unconditionally during the many years it took to heal from the trauma of rape.

      He married her inspite of severe family opposition based on what had happened to her. She is a Punjabi, he is a Tamilian. They run a business together and one could never guess at what the woman has endured if one meets her now.

      Not all men are like you, you know. I wanted to use foul language but respect IHM’s blog too much to do so.

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    • Aww would love to meet your parents dear, just curiosity sake and also as a learning experience on how not to raise a child !!!!

      I\’m having my sons read this just so they realise what kinds of people exist in this world and the kids they should AVOID like the plague. Now i wish i had a daughter so i could teach her about life and it\’s numerous irritants with perfect examples… nothing better than show andtell or rather read and tell..

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    • ” Now most of the women who have been sensible enough to acknowledge a man’s desire to not marry a rape victim will not challenge the cliff ( lol’d really hard, and yes by cliff i mean a criminal)”

      What is this guy writing? Who is he? And why are people wasting their time on him?
      I cannot make head or tail of what his problem really is. There is plenty in the post to get emotional, furious, and ponder about so I hope everyone is sensible enough to avoid replying to such cold, heartless, disrespectful, childish, trashy comments.

      He is perhaps showing us the true face of average Indian mentality which helps legitimizing this post…other than that…let’s not feel provoked by this. He and the rest of his clan thinks this way which is why we are having this discussion any way…which is why we need to ‘educate’ our children. We cannot change the past, and perhaps we can’t change the present but we can try to change the face of India that will be decades from now, right!!

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    • “it doesnt mean that you should go around asking for it.”

      I disagree. Most of the behaviour you and other misogynists describe as “asking for it” should be encouraged.

      It would be a *good* thing (not a bad!) if more women where less restricted, if they felt that they could go wherever they want at whatever time they want, without fear.

      It would be a good thing, if every woman who wants to go to a bar, drink alcohol and (if she is so inclined) flirt with the men there, feels free to do so. Freedom is good. Besides, I’m sure the men at the bar would appreciate it too.

      It is true that there are some actions which today can be described as risky or dangerous, but this is a PROBLEM, not a VIRTUE. It’s a *problem* that women need to be afraid of assault or rape. It’s a *problem* that some Indian men think that women should (for example) always be at home by 10. That some think it’s fine for a man to go to a bar, but not for a woman. That some think flirting is some kind of excuse for later abuse.

      It’s true that rape exists everywhere. It’s however *also* true that it’s common some places, and extremely rare in other places. India ain’t the worst, but it’s pretty bad. (South-Africa, I think, is among the worst – down there about a quarter of all men admit to having sexually abused women – would you *still* say that’s not a problem of society and culture?)

      “Most of the Men are not going to marry a female rape victim”

      So, not only should they not report it to the police, indeed they should hide it even from the ones closest to them, like their future husbands ? I know this comes as a shock to you, but “most men” aren’t spineless assholes. Having been raped isn’t some sort of personal defect. I’m going to (well, I already have!) marry a woman if I’m in love with her, if we agree on the major issues of how we want life to be, if she is kind, honest, passionate and smart. If she’s been raped or not is entirely irrelevant, of less importance than her eye-color.

      That being said, I’m glad *you* won’t touch a women who’s experienced rape. You’d go around blaming her for the crimes of others. You’d go around claiming she “asked for it”. You’d go around thinking she’s somehow of lesser worth than other women.

      The entire phrase is utter nonsense. Indeed women do sometimes ask for it. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, they even ask very nicely indeed. What happens next, if you agree, isn’t rape though, but making love. Rape is precisely the opposite: when she *didn’t* ask for it, but he forced himself on her anyway.

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    • Sushobh, Seriously you embarass me. Encouraging men to rape them?? Is that necessary? If they want sex, is that the only way? Then why do they have that mental trauma afterwards?After all, they got what they asked for, right?

      And secondly, do you think only women who ‘ask’ for it are raped? If she’s covered from head to toe and goes out in the night, is she safe? Wake up buddy !! Rapists who read your comments must be ROFTL !!

      I am all for women who want to prove themselves in today’s world. They have successfully made transitions from the kitchen to corporate. Its high time, we men also do the same transition albeit the other way round. Only then will we know our true worth. If they want to change the way they dress, or carry themselves, then what’s wrong with that?

      Does that mean we should behave like animals? When will our upbringing, our culture, our education be put to test then?

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  23. @Sushobh –
    1. Now that women are able to choose whether or not to marry and when and who to marry – it seems they generally aren’t too keen to marry misogynists.

    2. In fact one of the biggest reason for misogynists wanting to control women’s choices is this : If women were not forced to marry someone, then eventually no woman (or man) would want to marry misogynists.

    3. In general dealing with any kind of trauma becomes easier if criminals are punished, and the victim is able to share their pain.
    Now that more and more women are no longer seeing Getting Married and Staying Married as their only goal in life, the ‘social stigma’ part of the trauma is going to be easier to deal with.

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  24. 3/4th of what you people have been saying is just made up because i have never said things that you belive i did. I see desperation in your opinions and i am glad that majority of the people in India think like i do which is what anyone sensible enough to embrace Indian mindset will do. Let me make a few things clear, a crime is a a crime and no amount of arguments can change that fact. You people believe that a rape ( which is a crime) is something that the Indian society generates and the Indian mindset is the driving force behind it which is plain rubbish. Indian society recommends peace, harmony and well being and if anybody wants proof than they can refer the Indian holy texts. Nowhere has a rapist been considered an innocent victim and also nowhere has a rapist been defended. At a time when the western population is trying hard and low to merge themselves into the Indian way of life, you people crop out of nowhere and try in vain to resurrect your depleting tribe. Indian society, culture and its mindset is here to stay and is progressing at an unbeliveable pace and your betraying ideology(which does not hesitate in bashing its own motherland and its way of life) is coming to an end. And again let me make it clear that Indian mindset does not support rapes or rapists but advises everyone not to wander in the darkest places on earth and parade before the rapists. Just like we stay away from wild animals and their dens, we need to stay away from criminals and their hideouts. And one more thing, just like a drop of blood attracts wild animals towards you, immodest dressing attracts rapists. Now you people will get enraged and start asking me why i compare human criminals to wild animals, i have got an answer. A Cliff, a wild animal and a criminal all have lost their ability to think ( criminals cant think when they see a potential victim and they start acting wild without any stimulation). So my ultimate advise would be to stay away from such elements and stop imitating the morally bankrupt cultures.

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    • Nowhere has a rapist been considered an innocent victim and also nowhere has a rapist been defended

      Another one of your jokes, eh?

      At a time when the western population is trying hard and low to merge themselves into the Indian way of life, you people crop out of nowhere and try in vain to resurrect your depleting tribe

      Yeah, right.

      And one more thing, just like a drop of blood attracts wild animals towards you, immodest dressing attracts rapists

      I read about a two month old girl who was molested yesterday. I guess that two-month old’s diaper must’ve been really immodest. Like a drop of blood.

      criminals cant think when they see a potential victim and they start acting wild without any stimulation

      Um, no. You’ve got crime and insanity crossed in your mind. As a practicing attorney with nearly two decades of experience, I assure you they are completely different things. A lot of rapes are committed after a very cold, calm calculation. It’s not a crime of passion.

      You’re really just drowning in the kool-aid, aren’t you? Either that, or you’re just trying to get a rise.

      Unbelievable.

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    • Hmmm….let’s go over a couple of comments you made shall we.

      3/4th of what you people have been saying is just made up because i have never said things that you belive i did. I see desperation in your opinions and i am glad that majority of the people in India think like i do which is what anyone sensible enough to embrace Indian mindset will do.

      You said…..

      Rape is a crime and we need to tackle it, but it doesnt mean that you should go around asking for it.

      This comment you made right here…that’s a prime example of how the victim is blamed. Comments like this are an example of how culture shapes how we view rape and the victim. Culture can and does encourage rape, when you say “ you shouldn’t go around asking for it you’re implying the victim somehow deserves to be raped, because they were asking for it.

      Now let me discuss the people who do not encourage rape victims to report to the police, i feel its simple enough to understand. Most of the Men are not going to marry a female rape victim and vice versa and therefore your life can get into a jeopardy and thats why such cases are not reported.

      This is just a steaming pile of shit. The reason why rape isn’t reported, because oftentimes the victim feels it their own fault, they also know that reporting the crime, no one will defend them, because by your own admission the victim was asking for it.

      The rest of your comment basically proves everyone’s point. You’re just angry you got called on it.

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    • “immodest dressing attracts rapists.”

      so in your fine opinion sari /salwar clad modestly dressed women won’t get raped??? how about modestly dressed married middleaged women ?

      huh which planet do you inhibit dear?

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    • God save us from these self appointed guardians of Indian culture and values. I am too disgusted to reply to a comment by someone who can ‘lol’ at rape and cliff analogies and talks about values.

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    • Sushobh –

      There are strip clubs here in US. Now going by your logic, women working there should be raped day in and day out. Now, why is that not happening? Do you think that the men going there are not provoked enough?

      You talk about the greatness of India. I have greatest respect for our culture too. But, it would have been great if were living and following it. Do we respect women enough the way holy books ask us to? Are we worshiping women like goddess?
      Sorry kid! that is not what I see or experience.

      I am a very “sanskaari” girl going by your standards(*rolling eyes). Has that guaranteed me any safety on the streets? You would think so!

      Women in US are fearless roaming outside at odd hours. I have seen a woman jog at 12:00 AM near my house in a pretty isolated area. That too in a very skimpy dress by Indian standards. Almost all the time nothing bad happens. But by chance if it does, she can be sure that nobody will come and tell her that she had no business staying out late. She can be sure she will not be held responsible for the crime.
      Now if women demand the same thing in India, that is feminism gone to their heads??

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    • Civilized people living in a civilized society have no obligation to restrict lawful activities just because their fellow citizens might indulge in a crime. It’s the job of the state and the government to ensure that citizens are safe. End. Of. Story.

      And please stop with this “Indian culture” nonsense. There’s no such thing. “Society” is also made up. We’re just a collection of people. Nothing more, nothing less.

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      • ““Society” is also made up. We’re just a collection of people. Nothing more, nothing less.”

        Of course it’s ‘made up’. As are all our beliefs, perceptions, institutions. But these patterns still have to be taken seriously- studied, considered, debated, reformulated.

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    • “stop imitating the morally bankrupt cultures.”
      Depends if you call some of the most developed countries in the world, with excellent infrastructure, first class policing and a swift legal system ‘morally bankrupt’ while India languishes year after year at the bottom of the pile of ‘most corrupt nations’.

      Your life will improve if you inculcate some Western thinking habits, instead of believing it to be full of evil, impure ideas. Oh and please quit using ‘lol’ so generously, it’s grating on the senses.

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    • @sushobh: you know what, it’s better to be cautious. If you flaunt that kind of attitude in a place where there is a clear majority of sensible people, you’re going to be beaten up black n blue. your comments are going to be scrutinized, sneered upon, laughed at, and they will all tell you how stupid you are. you will be scarred for life. and then you will be afraid of every woman, and you know women don’t like to marry men who are scared of them, you know they don’t like men who have been subjected to verbal abuse by women n all.. so my humble advise is to take caution, cover your face with a cardboard box and run like the wind.. otherwise no woman would marry you. haaww!!! :O better be safe than be sorry, no

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      • “cover your face with a cardboard box and run like the wind.. otherwise no woman would marry you. haaww!!!”
        hahaha
        I agree Usha And nothing worse for someone like our dear Subhosh than not getting married. And bearing male progeny.

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    • …..wander in the darkest places on earth and parade before the rapists….

      hmmm, so you mean a rapist will not attack a skimpily dressed lady if the streetlights are on and the roads are empty?

      Just like we stay away from wild animals and their dens, we need to stay away from criminals and their hideouts

      Can you tell me where are these designated “crime spots”? I will make sure none of my friends or family ever go to those places…..

      Gives me a better idea. Like a school zone or hospital zone, Police should ear mark “murder zone” or “rape zone” too. Then we will know which areas to avoid and which one to visit….Girls who want ‘parade’ must mandatorily go to these spots but only after 10PM and before 4PM.

      Clearly, Sushobh, you need some counselling.

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    • Sushobh, are you implying with your twisted arguments that a bank robbery is justified because a bank’s contents are “provocative” too?????

      Like

  25. Predictably, now we’re treated to a spot of old-fashioned Indian jingoism from someone who knows nothing about Western culture and probably knows very little about the best parts of Indian culture. I’ve noticed that online chauvinism is an affliction that one sees more in Indians than in other people from developing nations (I’ve never seen a Chinese or Nigerian person ranting about the superiority of their culture and the inferiority of the decadent West on the internet). I think this superiority complex is actually a cover for an inferiority complex; people who are genuinely proud of their identities don’t need to scream and shout and put down others.

    Sushobh, here’s a clue: the West, while it has its share of problems, is not Sodom and Gomorrah. Over the past few decades, Westerners have done a far better job than Indians when it comes to male-female equality, A truly self-confident culture has no problem with borrowing the best attributes of other cultures, and Indians would lose nothing, and would gain a lot, from emulating some aspects of Western culture.

    Even with all your ranting, I’m sure you’d leap at the chance to work or study in the West. In fact, you strike me as the type who would proposition Western women in a crass, crude, borderline criminal way (because all Western women are loose, am I right?), and then become surprised when you are summarily shot down.

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    • The irony is that while Indians like Sushobh are ranting away about Indian culture, travel blogs advise women visiting India to dress modestly and avoid travelling alone if possible.

      I am saddened to know that many female visitors to India who were groped, felt up and molested may visit again.

      Not only does “Indian culture” succeed in curtailing the basic freedoms of Indian women, it also successfully imposes these same standards to visiting foreign women.

      Atithi Devo Bhava indeed. Only if the guest is a man of course. India does not like female visitors, just like it dislikes female foetuses.

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  26. “Nowhere has a rapist been considered an innocent victim and also nowhere has a rapist been defended”

    Did you even read and understand the comments to the TOI post?

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  27. Yes yes, women are asking for it only. I mean, think about it…which woman would prefer consensual sex with a person she finds attractive when you know….she can be raped instead! So every evening, she looks into her “rape” collection of clothes, picks out the one that will appeal to the maximum rapists and then go out and pray that she get raped!

    Imagine…instead of a nice private place and a person who is interested in satisfying your sexual needs, you get to get raped by a bunch of strangers who have no care or concern for you. You don’t find them attractive? That’s just an added bonus!

    Now you can have yourself molested in full public view and have multiple life threatening injuries if you are really really lucky. And if you hit the jackpot, you may even get killed. Whoo Hoo!!!

    And Indian Culture…it is just the bomb! Here rapists are protected and nurtured because Indian Culture is the only one that understands that we women are actually asking for it. I mean…USA…UK…not much chance of getting raped because they think it is criminal. What hogwash. Here in India, we blame it all on the woman which only helps those shy new rapists attain their full potential.

    PS: Just in case there are whackos who actually want to agree with me…I was being sarcastic.
    PPS: The PS was meant for Subodh

    Like

  28. I have a great idea: let’s evacuate all women from India. Then the rapists won’t be able to commit their crimes anymore, the problem with women hanging out in bars will be solved and people like Sushobh can use their intelligence to lecture the cliffs.😀

    Like

  29. Hi.. your effort is noble but your deception is ignominious. The TOI comments link you gave is sorted by “Disagree”. I mean you want to show what the male fraternity thinks by showing what we all as a whole condemn? I was an avid reader of your blog and liked your thoughts, but would you like to enlighten one of your readers why this kolaveri?

    Like

  30. Considering the kind of narrow mindedness of these commentators, i’m actually proud that they have come a long way from the stone age tradition of women-must-not-go-out-after-dark to women-must-not-go-out-after-10 pm😀 definitely, there is an improvement😀

    Like

  31. This particular case happened in Kolkata and I have a particularly biased opinion about Bengalis and our babus, which has only grown as I have grown older. Intellectual hypocrisy…is the state pass time. If I opened my mouth anymore (sleep of taangue, u see) I will be in trouble.

    So, is all this really about keeping women confined to their homes so as to keep them safe?
    Safe from who?
    How many women, married/unmarried homemakers who dare not step out of their homes have never been assaulted, beaten, dragged, threatened by family members in the safety of their homes?
    How many women report such assaults?
    How many people have witnessed/heard such assaults made on women within their own family?
    How many have dared to intervene, or report the incident?

    Do you know what goes on in your neighbor’s house behind the walls of their bedroom…? Well, why should you? It is their business, their lives, isn’t it?

    Indian society has two faces. One that is put on display. And one that those fortunate, chosen ones are made to endure. And just as in Aamir’s show the number of abused children was a shocking revelation to many…the number of women ‘right now’ feeling unsafe in their own house might turn out to be even more shocking!

    So, Shushobh and the likes…do not make tall claims of what Indian society is.
    The truth lies in the silence of women, of underage girls who have been protecting men who claim to be ‘their’ protectors. Indian society and everything that goes on in the name of it’s culture and tradition is a sham.

    Women do not need to step out of their homes to get raped, assaulted or beaten up. There are women who would rather be seen getting assaulted by strangers on a street (at least there is a chance of getting some help) than continue living with the people they live with….within the so called safety and protection of their homes…in subdued silence.

    Like

  32. This is my last comment on this interesting post. You people have started calling me names and this because i have a opinion which is not the same as yours? I believe that the ones who resort to such name calling are desperate and pessimistic about their argument. Anyway this is what i will say- The number of rapes in America is generally low and the number of rapes in India is generally high and i am going to point out why – Thats because of the huge gap in the population. But okay i agree that Rapes in India are compartively higher and thats because its very easy to get around the judicial system, you may be a murderer, ragger, rapist or any other criminal you will find it easier to get away. Some people here are speaking of young female babies getting raped, and stories of poor families trying to conceal alleged cases of rape. Well i am not going to share any stories but the only thing is that crimes occur day and night across India (including rapes). Why are rapes any different? And one more of your stupid explaination is that even familiar people commit rapes, but why dont you mention that there equal number of murders by familiar people? Should we consider rapes as being more serious? Serious than murders? Thats exactly what you people are trying to say. The ground reality in India is that crimes of all kind are generally higher and thats because of faulty judiciary and not the Indian mindset. Crime is abhorrent and we need to do all we can to stop it but why should we consider a rape as any different? Why is a rape related to the Indian mindset and not a cold blooded , a far more ruthless act of killing somebody? Dont you think its just hilarious that you people dont treat rape as a type of crime but something thats a result of fundamentalist Indian mindset?. The most important thing that i would like to say and which can stop your silly argument is this – Rapes are directly proportional to murders, robbery or any other crime. And once we are able to rectify the faults in our judiciary then i guarantee you people that rapes will be drastically reduced. Can anyone challenge this fact? I have already told you why rape cases are not reported, and there are some brave men overhere who are ready to marry a rape victim. I appreciate your bravery men keep it up, but there are hundred times more men who are not ready to take a chance and i am not ashamed to tell you i am one of them and thats why we see rape victims living a life of seclusion. Indian mindset is nowhere related to the scale of rapes that occur in India. A rape victim must be compensated just like any crime victim should be and treated like any other human being, and rape is just a type of crime that occurs because a rapist is foolish enough to do it and not because of any mindset or any crap. And the funniest thing about you people is that you people attribute every crime on women being related to the Indian mindset and ignore the fact that she may be raped,murdered because she is worth plenty of bucks or may have enemies who aspire to kill her because of a rivalry. The last thing i would like to say is that rapes occur because of erotic feelings, enemity, money or anyother issue that pits a future criminal against a future victim . Rapes occur due to personal issues, animosity, local issues and not the traditional Indian mindset FACT.

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    • Subodh, you are so confused that you prove exactly what the people on this blog are trying to say while you are trying to disprove it.

      In your comment you mention that any crime that goes unpunished, either due to the judicial system or due to something else leads to increase in that crime.

      You also say that you would not marry a rape victim and they end up leading a life of seclusion because a lot of men will not accept them.

      When a victim is awarded a secluded life for no fault of theirs, it is obvious they will not come forward when this crime happens to them so that they are shunned. Which means rapes are not reported. This is not the case with murder because no one is secluded because someone in their family got murdered. Which means rapists get a free pass. From your above logic for crime rate applied here, the result is crime rate increases.

      Now, shunning the rape victim and not wanting to deal with them is not a universal phenomenon. People have no issues marrying rape victims in other countries. Which means it is an Indian phenomenon – culture.

      Now put 2 and 2 together and you get together. Because of your attitude towards rape victims, rape victims are not even reporting the crimes happening to them which is increasing the number of rapes as the rapist can get away with it. Ergo, your attitude, aka Indian culture is responsible for increase in rapes.

      I rest my case.

      Like

    • Im just so Sorry for you sushobh, for you will never be able to experience the sheer joy of living with an open mind and an open heart, that absolute sense of freedom (only comes from being honest to your inner self) …just the spirit/beauty of life on a whole. What a Waste of a young life..! Im really am very sorry for you..

      Like

    • “why should we consider a rape as any different? Why is a rape related to the Indian mindset and not a cold blooded , a far more ruthless act of killing somebody”

      Because, you silly man (boy?) when a jessica lal was murdered, there were marches for justice for her. It all so ‘noble’. Ever seen that happen for a rape victim??

      “I have already told you why rape cases are not reported, and there are some brave men overhere who are ready to marry a rape victim. I appreciate your bravery men keep it up, but there are hundred times more men who are not ready to take a chance and i am not ashamed to tell you i am one of them and thats why we see rape victims living a life of seclusion.”

      And that’s not an Indian mindset?

      Like

      • “And that’s not an Indian mindset?” Its the mindset of an Indian like Subhosh.
        Not an Indian mindset to include everyone!!!

        Like

    • “Thats because of the huge gap in the population. ”

      “crimes occur day and night across India (including rapes). Why are rapes any different? “”Crime is abhorrent and we need to do all we can to stop it but why should we consider a rape as any different? ”

      “there are some brave men overhere who are ready to marry a rape victim”

      “rape is just a type of crime that occurs because a rapist is foolish enough to do it ”

      “she may be raped,murdered because she is worth plenty of bucks or may have enemies who aspire to kill her because of a rivalry”

      “rapes occur because of erotic feelings, enemity, money or anyother issue that pits a future criminal against a future victim ”
      “Should we consider rapes as being more serious? Serious than murders? ”

      Subhosh: Question for you: You know MEN also get raped, right? Okay, so how would you explain that? Due to the disparity in population, a rapist couldn’t find a woman so raped a man instead? Is it the same as the man being pickpocketed on a bus? What was he wearing that he provoked the ‘lust’ of the rapist? Why do you think the raped man went near the rapists’ hideout? should the raped man get married or hide his head in shame for the rest of his life? Do you think the man may have got raped because he has a lot of money and in the act of raping, the money gets transferred to the rapist?
      And if rapes happen because of erotic feelings as you have written, I pity EVERY man and woman who will ever have the misfortune of being within 2 feet of you- whether at home, on the street or in the workplace.
      You need professional help. I also believe with the sort of justifications you are making- you run the risk of being a future criminal.
      Disgusting to say the very least.
      And PLEASE for heaven’s sake- don’t sully ‘Indian traditions or mindset’ – by saying that you are an example of that.

      Like

    • //I appreciate your bravery men keep it up, but there are hundred times more men who are not ready to take a chance and i am not ashamed to tell you i am one of them and thats why we see rape victims living a life of seclusion

      There. You said it. I think we can all conclude that there is no point in arguing with a human equivalent of a stone (maintaining decorum here, otherwise I would have written something which starts with an A and ends with a E).

      And, let me tell you something about the Indian culture. It’s a pain in the ass. If the world gets destroyed this year, one thing that will really make me happy is that the Chinese ships do not contain any Indians like you!

      Like

      • In response to some of the comments above which have included- Indian culture. It’s a pain in the ass/ Indian society and everything that goes on in the name of it’s culture and tradition is a sham…..

        I’m as ‘Indian’ as Subhosh or any of the other misogynists that we keep encountering- by virtue of my [passport (amongst other ‘markers’). And I like to think views such as the ones represented by this blog, even if in the minority- are also representative of the Indian mindset. I am a part of Indian society too- with its warts and all- and by voicing my opinion I feel the ‘other’ side of the Indian mentality must also be heard. As for Indian culture (or any country’s ‘culture’ for that matter) being a pain in the ass/ sham- I just cannot agree with this.

        Subhosh’s views are representative of a section of society. His mindset is representative of a section of the male population (alarmingly large section, but only a section nonetheless)- and by equating it to ALL men/ ALL society- we are implicating sane voices such as Anil/ PT/ GV etc etc as well as ourselves as being the same as Subhosh. And to that , I strongly object.

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        • @Mokapot,
          I am sorry if I have bothered you in any way but I find our society very controlling and assertive. We give no heed to freedom, equality of gender, life…the list is endless. It is not something we can be proud of.
          The day we start respecting each other and give each adult the freedom he/she deserves, I will take my statement back.
          Implicating someone is out of the question. There is always a sane minority. That is the only reason we are still rolling.🙂

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        • @ Amit- for some reason there’s no reply link under your comment so replying here. Your comment didn’t offend me at all. Just contributing to the discussion- that’s all!🙂 I agree with what you say about so many of us “not giving heed to freedom, equality of gender, life…”, and a lot of this in the name of tradition- as some irrefutable diktat that’s been sent to us. But I think its important not to resort to arguments about Indian culture/ Indian mindset as though its some singular monolith. I disagree when ‘Indian-ness’ (whatever that is) is invoked even in defense of freedom- of speech/ expression e.t.c For example using the cliched and trite India is the land of Kamasutra and all our temples have representations of women to fight for contemporary freedom of expression (in literature, visual art…..).
          By attacking the idea of India/ Indian culture/ Indian mindset instead of opposing or supporting the many, many structures that make ‘India’ what it is today, we lose the point. It starts sounding like an inverted jingoist argument then. India is bad. Culture is bad. Thats why the mindset is bad. No.
          Please don’t think I am some big fan or defender of tradition- far from it. I am more interested in what all is legitimised and how in the name of tradition and vice-versa.

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        • p.s.: What I’m arguing against is the equivalent of the very crass all muslims are terrorists take.

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        • Sorry Mokapot, for I meant what I said. What goes on in the name of Indian culture and tradition is as much a sham as what goes on in the name of religion. I have the highest respect for the culture I was born into. I love and admire tradition as long as it is not meant for the convenience of a privileged few….as long as its not a staged show meant to manipulate and control the rest. I would take back what I said, if I didn’t know people living double lives, with double standards, hidden agendas, who take advantage of this very culture and tradition to create a perfect, clean image of themselves and show their true colors only behind the closed doors of a hotel room. Our society is a sham. Our perception of it depends on what we have experienced and seen and witnessed and what we are willing to ignore or not acknowledge.

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        • @ Joyee; “What goes on in the name of Indian culture and tradition is as much a sham as what goes on in the name of religion.” I agree with this totally-i.e. what goes on in the name of.

          ” I love and admire tradition as long as it is not meant for the convenience of a privileged few….” I’m not such a big fan of tradition🙂 Also I feel any tradition is always meant for the convenience of a few. That’s why its made. And legitimized as a ‘tradition’.

          Like

    • Let’s try it one more time.
      RAPE is not due to indian mindset – the approach of the majority of the population to rape is.
      Now – you are totally twisted (understatement alert!) – but it doesn’t look like you are blaming the lady (at least not blaming her fully) for the rape. Though, you talk about her dressing and being out at 10.30 as a crime, it seems half-hearted ( I will attribute it to your wanting to be contradictory). But, the majority of the Indians believe it is her fault – for her dressing (sleeveless in hospital – WHORE!), for her destination (Bar – she DESERVED it) and for the time (11.30 pm – PROSITUTE!). You seem agitated at some on the names you have been called (boy, kid being the major ones), how would a girl, battered by a rape feel when she is called a whore for what she has NOT done? And how will the rapists feel when they are justified by the INDIAD MINDSET that the girl must have provoked him, must have worn sleeveless, and musn’t have gone out of the house at 11.30 pm?

      And Sushobh, I haven’t been raped. But I have the decency to imagine how a person (be it a woman or a man or a child) would feel when they do – do you think they all enjoy it? Can you just sit down and instead of thinking of the best comeback possible, close your eyes and try to undergo what men, women and children undergo during rape? If you are still not shaken, then I would like to meet your parents and try and not repeat the mistakes they did.🙂 I’d rather be childless than have one who can defend himself for raping someone.

      Read this when you get time:
      http://musingsanddoodlings.blogspot.in/2012/06/account-of-spirit-butcher-house.html
      None of them by the way are whores, wearing less clothes or were at a bar. I am not attributing the above to Indian Mindset – but your callous tone for rape is baffling and a tad scary. It reminds me of a pedophile who justified his child sexual abuse by saying that children enjoy sex.

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    • Rapes happen because the rapist knows he can get away with it.

      Rapes also happen because the rapist wants to establish power and dominance over the victim and feel sexually powerful.

      Please read the literature on sexual arousal and rape. Most rapes do not occur because the rapist is in the throes of uncontrollable sexual passion.

      They happen because the rapist sees an opportunity to commit rape and expects to not be punished for it.

      Please also remember that a rise in sexual crime sets a precedent for a general increase in lawlessness.

      Sexual crimes are a barometre of a general state of lawlessness.

      So if sexual crimes increase and go unpunished, then criminals of all hues are emboldened to commit all kinds of other crimes.

      Like

    • On behalf of those here, I apologize for personal attacks against you. Try and ignore them and respond only to those who discuss the issue. I know how frustrating it can be to be name called on a blog where everyone disagrees with you.

      I still disagree with everything you say nonetheless…

      Like

  33. Guys, you’re wasting time and space trying to reason with the likes of him logically. Because he is convinced that what he says is logical & right while you lot doesnt make sense…Yesterday I had a great debate with one of my friends who believ that women contributes to rape. Now let me part of our debate with you…
    Him: “Skimpily cladded women provocate and thats why these crimes occur.”
    Me: So how wd you explain rapes in saudi, of women who wears ‘proper decent’ clothes?
    Him: ~~By seeing a women (or women) who exposes (his eg. was VD in Dirty Picture), men’s sexual fantasies are aroused, which they cant control. So next time wen they see a woman they visualize them as VD and assault/molest/rape. If all women cover themselves, there wont be rapes. Women who exposes are contributing to ‘innocent’ girls being raped.~~
    We argued and argued. At last he was like “I still say men are 80% to blame and women contributes 20%… Then he quoted from Quran about how women should noly show her hands and eyes… I myself am a Muslim. But it boils my blood everytime wen i hear this!

    Moral: These people are not going to change. I know my friend is extremely well-behaved with girls, though a bit patronizing. Some girls like it while some like me dont. While not being an abuser himself, with this attitude isnt he contributing to sexual crimes not being taken seriously?
    Someone mentioned above, Sushobh might be a potential criminal. Sushobh may not be a rapist himself. But his loling at these crimes is seriously sickening… We cant generalize like that because world suffers not because of baddies but due to silence of good people…

    Like

    • “he quoted from Quran about how women should only show her hands and eyes”

      That’s just wrong. There’s nothing in the Quran that forces women to cover up. It is only suggested, not obligatory, and that too is just ‘modest dress’ not some suffocating burka. Chauvinists have twisted sentences their own way in order to dominate women. Oh and whenever a Muslim man tries to use the Quran as an excuse to tell women to cover up, remember to tell him, that the holy book also states that men must lower their gaze when speaking with women who are not relatives, and must conduct themselves in a decent way in front of them. In fact, a man cannot even shake hands with a woman who is not related to him. So where does the question even arise that he can be aroused, if he is not allowed to observe her body? These instructions have been successfully suppressed by the male clergy to their own ends and women usually do not know about it.

      Men twist religion and patriotism their own way in order to dominate women. It’s always hard to argue with religious nuts because they try to put the fear of hell in you, but I believe in a benevolent God and am not afraid of these people.

      Like

  34. On this business of men being brave enough to marry victims of sexual violence- Can someone please explain to me- seriously- how is it still legal to acquit a rapist if he agrees to marry the victim. there are still newspaper reports about how the court instructed the rapist to marry the victim etc. As a punishment? Lawyers/ others… please explain this one.

    Like

    • I’ll explain, but it’s not pleasant. It usually works like this:

      Man rapes woman.

      Woman’s family panics about honor.

      Woman’s family wants honor back.

      Woman’s family asks man to marry woman.

      Man refuses.

      Woman’s family goes to court.

      Man loses case in court.

      Woman’s family forces/asks woman to tell the court that she wants the man to be acquitted, as marrying him would save the family/personal honor.

      Advocate makes an impassioned plea on woman’s behalf. Lots of emotion. Lots of courtroom drama. Tears, appeals to culture, appeals to the fact that the woman’s life would not be worth a dime if she doesn’t marry the rapist.

      Court acquiesces in the ‘woman’s interest’, makes an order to that effect.

      Woman’s family drops case, and organizes a marriage ceremony instead.

      Everyone’s happy. Sort of.

      No prizes for guessing who doesn’t have a choice in the whole thing.

      It’s pretty disgusting, but that’s how it is. Doesn’t happen as much as it used to. I hear this used to be a standard plea for pretty much every case back in the 70s and 80s. That’s before my time, but I have older colleagues who’ve told me some pretty crazy war stories.

      Like

  35. You know what’s the worst thing in ToI. Its the “Most commented” section !!

    Invariably there will be people who think that doing something wrong to the wrong doers will solve a problem. If a girl who has been raped happens to be in a pub hours earlier, then nothing wrong has happened. Its a punishment for her sin.

    I don’t know how can pubbing be a greater sin than actually harming a person?

    Like

  36. I think nobody has asked you a very important question – what is the INDIAN MINDSET you are talking about? What is the INDIAN CULTURE?
    Is it Sikh Culture, Christian Culture, Buddhist Culture, Muslim Culture or Hindu Culture? Is it Dalit Culture? Is it Kashmiri Culture? Is it Tamillian Culture? Is it Assamese Culture? Is it Naga Culture? Is it Mizo Culture? Is it Manipuri Culture? Is it Brahmannical Culture? Is it Gujrati Culture? Is it Marwari Culture? Is it Parsi Culture? Is it *give name of state here* culture? Is it *any other religion I might have missed* culture?
    Or is it the *state and religion and caste you come from* culture? (I’m assuming you totally believe in caste)
    Or is it the Kamasutra Culture?
    Is it Yoga Culture?
    Or is it a patriarchal and misogynistic culture you are referring to here which accepts killing female foetuses and thinking that the ultimate goal of her life should be married by using some pseudo-facts?
    Are you really SEVENTEEN?
    Wow
    I thought my generation was above all this.
    But, I guess I’m just a 17 year old slut ranting on and on (blah blah self-proclaimed feminists.. Get your ass in the kitchen already. Men will decide what is right and what is wrong. And I am a MAN so you are WRONG. Lazy women.)
    It actually breaks my heart that people here point out flaws in your theories with such sincerity. Obviously thinking- hey he is young, maybe we can make him see the errors in his reasoning after all. Maybe we can make him feel the joy that comes from having a free mind and defining a person only on the basis if that person’s merit – not gender, sex, caste or race.
    Oh, hopeless!!
    (correct me if I’m wrong but I remember in one of his above posts he actually called the criminal “poor little innocent” who was provoked by the women. Looks like your comments become more and more pseudo-intellectual with each passing comment. AND men are not brave for marrying rape victims. They are humans who believe the punishment should go to the rapist and who support the woman they love and work through her PTSD together. You know what PTSD is, right?)

    Like

  37. I think a lot of people have mixed the crux of where the argument that ‘pubs are for loose women’ comes from. As someone who worked both as a barman and musician in pubs during my college years, I *know* that people who visit pubs are ‘normal’ people. So do many of the readers here. But thats not how the MAJORITY of Indians see pub goers as, who have ‘seen’ pubs, bars and nightclubs only in Bollywood movies where such places are shown as the hotbed of sleaze and criminal activity. So this is where their judgementalism comes from, given that it is how they see pubs and clubs, they couldn’t imagine what a ‘good girl’ would do in a ‘den of vice’.

    You cannot compare the pub culture in US to India. In the US, pubs are socially acceptable as everyday places to socialise and have a drink. In India, with the exception of metros and a few liberal societies, pubs and bars are still considered by the MAJORITY as hotbed of vices. I am sure the kind of men who make this ‘will you allow your mother/sister to go to pubs’ would also react with shock and horror at the idea of having a drink with their family/dad (a cultural practice common in my culture but is unthinkable in mainland India). It is a sign of cultural conservatism, more than misogyny.

    And by the way, the prevalence of rapes in India is actually a part of a higher criminal trend in South Asia. Rape is a violent crime and contrary to how people make it out to be, it is not particularly unique as far as violent crimes go, not any more specific as murder is, compared to street mugging. If the general criminalism in Indian society comes down, rapes would eventually decrease as well. As for someone who mention men are less likely to be targeted for crime, I suggest they look up the statistics of violent crimes in their states. The majority of homicidal victims in India are still males.

    I have had first hand experience of a very violent crime in Delhi, one that I successfully repealed and unsurprisingly, did not make the news like an attempted rape or a foreigner getting pickpocketed would have. In the equivalence of newsworthiness, rapes are like air crashes.

    Like

    • An writing this very personal story because some idiots should really know.

      @ All those who think women ask to be raped – I was almost raped in daylight in a southern city while getting back from work.
      1. I was dressed in a loose fitting salwar kameez. So no cleavage shown.
      2. I was accompanied by my colleague – a much married man. I was not alone.
      3. We were in his car and the asshole stopped the car, hit my colleague, rendered him unconsious and dragged me out to the bushes.

      So, What was I doing here? Did I ask to be raped?

      Some quick thinking from my part saved me. The asshole wanted to get over with it soon and I told him that I will give him a blow job and then he can rape me and I bit his fuckin dick so hard that he starting bleeding. I took his photograph in my cell phone, ran from that place, drove my colleague’s car, got myself a mouthwash and filed the complaint and the bastard was caught in a hospital while tending his bleddin dick.

      Now, for the marriage part, Am married to a decent, normal man who is aware of this incident and the trauma it caused me. He knew this even while we were dating and he waited 2 yrs in the relationship to even have our first kiss together because I was repulsed by human touch and It took me a long time to overcome that. Oh yes, We have 2 lovely girls now and he cannot be happier.

      Like

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