‘Your life, little girl, is an empty page, That men will want to write on’

This post is in response to an email from a young Indian woman in her twenties – I am sharing the email in the next post.

‘Satyamev Jayate’ (SMJ) once again touched a chord by bringing up ‘Choice Marriages’. Please watch if you missed it. You will find the look on the Khap Patriarchs’ faces during the show very satisfying.

One of the points this episode of SMJ made was, ‘feel no guilt’ or shame in falling in love (and choosing your partner). I would add,

Feel no guilt in interacting with the ‘opposite sex’.
Don’t expect every interaction to end in marriage.
Don’t feel guilty if you have a ‘past’ – lack of experience is not virtue.
Don’t see marriage as a goal.
And don’t see getting married and being ‘looked after’ as the goal in life. (Self reliance is a good goal)
Marry only if you want to spend your life with this person – and know that you can do that – legally, even without marrying this person.
Understand that if this person really cares for you and respects you (and themselves), then it would make little difference whether you marry this person or live with hen.
(‘hen’ is the gender neutral term for him or her Please use it.)

Since the society is so busy preventing young women from interacting with men (and choosing their own partners), there is no effort to provide useful, sensible, and sometimes life-saving information.

Jealousy and possessiveness, threats of suicide, or insistence on ‘taking care’ indicate control and lack of respect – not love. These are danger signs to watch out for – to be taken very seriously and resolved before proceeding any further in a relationship.

But what makes anybody think threats of committing suicide are a way to prove ‘true love’ and could indicate maturity to deal with life’s challenges….?

What could make a young man feel that he is responsible for controlling and protecting his girl-friend (no late nights, no drinks, no jeans, no talking to men etc)?

How does one assess whether the reactions are a result of social conditioning (which can be dealt with, perhaps) or signs of an abusive and controlling personality (a far more serious issue)?

Every girl should know that if the boyfriend respects them, then he would respect their capacity to choose and decide for themselves, and also their personal space and their opinions.

Romanticizing of innocence, naivete, helplessness, chastity and obedience makes it difficult for women to choose their own friends, clothes, food and beverage, hair styles, activities, outings, careers and opinions etc. It also makes them dependent on the partner for many things, including their happiness and self confidence.

Do you find these lyrics romantic?
🙄

[Boy, 17]
You wait, little girl, on an empty stage
For fate to turn the light on
Your life, little girl, is an empty page
That men will want to write on

You are sixteen going on seventeen
Baby, it’s time to think
Better beware, be canny and careful
Baby, you’re on the brink

You are sixteen going on seventeen
Fellows will fall in line
Eager young lads and rogues and cads
Will offer you food and wine

Totally unprepared are you
To face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared are you
Of things beyond your ken

You need someone older an wiser
Telling you what to do

I am seventeen going on eighteen
I’ll take care of you

[Girl, 16]
I am sixteen going on seventeen
I know that I’m naive
Fellows I meet may tell me I’m sweet
And willingly I believe

I am sixteen going on seventeen
Innocent as a rose

Bachelor dandies, drinkers of brandies
What do I know of those

Totally unprepared am I
To face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared am I
Of things beyond my ken

I need someone older and wiser
Telling me what to do
You are seventeen going on eighteen
I’ll depend on you

74 thoughts on “‘Your life, little girl, is an empty page, That men will want to write on’

  1. Frankly I have never understood this concept of “older and wiser” i mean seriously, anthropologically a younger species is wiser than the old one by atleast 10%. I do not understand how can older mean wiser?

    I do love this song, only because I love the musical itself, sound of music is classic. No comments on what it depicts.

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    • Um, I do think people get wiser with age. This is not to say that older people are wiser than young people in general, just that the same person is usually much wiser at 20 than she was at 14, or at 30 than at 20.

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      • But a lot of older people in their 50s don’t seem wiser than people in their 20s. I think after 40, it kind of evens out and then purely up to the individual whether they acquire any superior knowledge or just stagnate. I sense that a lot of older people fall in the latter category.

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        • I agree. Though I also agree with this line from a play- ‘The worship of youth must end’.

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  2. The title just dragged me into your blog..I know exactly what you are talking about..I’m also 20 something and facing the same kind of issues..and whenever I meet a prospective guy (for marriage), I end up thinking if there is any indian guy mature enough to understand what the girl’s ideals are..I’m a non-believer of idol worship, and whenever I make it clear to any guy that I’ll not do any ritual that doesn’t make sense to me, they turn into completely different people..They say that in a family, you’ve to respect elders, keep them happy, perform rituals for “their sake” and stuff like that..What about me? Does it matter to anyone that doing such things day in and day out will make me go mad? I doubt it..They only talk about their ideas, and act interested in my hobbies..It’s really pissing off, and the song is just bloody misogynistic..exactly stuff that teenage girls aren’t supposed to listen to!

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  3. When I was in college and just beginning to understand the nitty-gritties of physical relationships (at the place we were, there was no other way of knowing it – most of my college mates discovered what sex means at 19), we took it upon us to educate the rest of the class. I was teaching my best friend and a guy, who had a crush on her (and who was also her best friend), told me (and I quote): “Don’t teach her dirty things. She is very pure. Don’t spoil her.”.

    Needless to say, I found it offensive. I never understood equating innocence with virginity (or lack of knowledge of sex).

    Bang on ‘self-reliance’ being a good goal – every woman should try for it. Similar to one of the earlier posts/comments, there were many students in class who wanted to clear engineering just to reduce their dowry amounts – NONE of them wanted to work after college.

    “I need someone older and wiser
    Telling me what to do
    You are seventeen going on eighteen
    I’ll depend on you”

    Sheesh!

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    • I totally get this, why does knowing about sex take away from innocence. And what is so great about innocence anyway?
      I had classmates in the 12th, who were studying biology, and didn’t know what a period was all about, people who thought kissing led to babies, and “not knowing” seemed to be a great thing!

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      • “don’t teach her dirty things”

        Sex is not “dirty”, it is natural and beautiful.
        Indian society needs stop viewing the body and sex as disgusting. Young adults should know their bodies. The fact that a 12th grade biology student doesnt know what a period is astounding. What are they teaching them other than ignorance.

        I remember sex-ed in middle school. We were given a diagram of our anatomy and taught what each part was for and its name.

        Than there’s my mother (43 years old) who went to college (iin india, however) didnt know what a clitoris was. How can you have such a lack of knowledge about you own body. More women need to educate themselve

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  4. Oj i confess i love sound of music🙂 i made my husband watch it and he sat and shook his head the whole time. the only thng i couldn’t digest was why on earth he decided it was a good thing to constantly father kids .. anyway i love the song , the music is outstanding. but having said that i’d be stupid to emulate that… it’s a MOVIE and that’s all it is. just like a hundred other indian movies.. would someone follow some of our disgusting hindi lyrics?????

    But i agree with the show, get married because you want to, with someone you feel the connection, the passion, the love and trust and you will be happy. don’t get married because it’s TIME.. there is no correct time, everyone and every situation is different. don’t do anything that makes you unhappy.

    As for blackmail, listening to elders, guilt, jealousy etc., etc., steer way clear of people involved in these..
    My parents asked me to leave if i wanted to marry the man i choose – in spite of him being a great person. i left – nothing happened, life continued on, i was happy, he was happy and my parents ….not so much i hear. Now they want to reconcile – maybe maybe not. i don’t know depends on how i feel and what i feel but rerst assured we will no nothing that will make me or my husband unhappy. My uncle is of a diff type he and his wife thretened to kill themselves if their only Daughter did not give up her love ( as if he’s some cheap candy) , well let’s just say she called their bluff and is quite happily married for the past 15 yrs and they are quite alive and well… and she always says if they decided to die, it was their choice not hers.. she bnever put a gun a their head so no guilt..

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    • wow !!! your cousin is really brave i would say … I know a handful of people who were deeply in love but succumbed to parent’s blackmail of ” we will kill ourselves” and finally married the guys the parents chose – all the girls were financially independant and living on their own away from parents.
      There was a guy whose dad literally fell on his son’s feet asking him not to marry the girl he chose. He finally did marry the same girl only but falling on feet thing really made him nearly break off the relationship with the girl ( who was my roommate then) – my friend was really strong and convinced the guy.

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    • “and she always says if they decided to die, it was their choice not hers.. she never put a gun a their head so no guilt..”

      I wish more kids had that sort of inner strength instead of turning to jelly in front of their parents.

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  5. Loved the movie since I was a kid but always found the lyrics of that song lop-sided. Sigh. This is true of almost all movies.

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    • Don’t take the lyrics from Sound of Music so literally!! they are sung by Rolf who turns out to be a Nazi and a traitor to the Von Trapp family. The lyrics are meant to underscore his domineering and not-so-nice character which comes out later in the film.

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      • I’m with Mary on this. Rolf, who sang the song, was not a positive character in the film and later on, he just dumped Liesl despite all his glorious singing about innocence etc. But have to say, many of us who watched that film when we were very young found the lyrics very charming and hummed it to ourselves a lot, quite forgetting or not quite understanding Rolf. There are, of course, other things in Sound of Music that are objectionable…Captain Von Trappe is a bit patronising to Maria sometimes and she is so fiesty but scared of the sexual (well, she was brought up in a nunnery I guess… and ironically it’s the old nun who urges her to go with her own “urges”) but it was a movie of its times after all.

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  6. A friend posted after watching this show that forget her parents, even she would not approve of an inter-caste marriage. At that point I realised we would never make friends with some of the people we chose as children!

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    • The caste/religious division in India is too very deep. I have seen people marrying someone of their own choice and but trying hard ( even forcing their spouse) to lean towards their own caste/religion. Not everyone is mature or broadminded enough to accept, respect or include the upbringing of their spouse. When it is all about LOVE, why can’t people love the person completely including caste or religion. Where is the need to convert ? As much as we talk about marrying out of caste/religion, most people are not that mature yet. I have seen quite a few breaking up before or after marrying only because of these differences in lifestyle.

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      • I agree. I am in an inter-religious marriage with neither converting, and our kids growing up with exposure to both, but no indoctrination. To my mind, caste plays dirtier games than religion.

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  7. Yes, that is romantic, for the period that is depicted. It wont apply now. If someone said such a think now, I would be very annoyed. We have to look at things in the context of time…That song was written for that time and it is a story, movie, fiction…cant ever equate that to the reality of now. Poetry, songs, fiction are mostly grand when they can move the reader or listener into a different mood, they are written for their effect on our emotions. We cant take everything literally, In this instance I would take the context. I have enjoyed the movie, it is entertaining, the songs are very melodic. Specially loved the song “I have confidence” the last four stanzas are a picker upper.

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  8. I, like the others, love the Sound of Music, but this song is annoying. Wish the songwriters knew that women are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, thank you very much!

    These romanticized ideals of ‘love’ or whatever it’s supposed to be are insanely weird, the ones held by men AND women. Virginity= purity, innocence, ‘all-round awesomeness’ and perfection to these people. Not a virgin? Yuck, what a slut! Must have no morals and/or self-control no?

    There are women, too, who find the idea of the man being possessive and telling them what to do and wear, how to behave and what to look like ‘romantic’. I remember reading about Samantha Brick a while ago, and she said she finds it ‘amazing and a sign of passion’ that her husband tells her what to wear and how to cut her hair and what weight she should be.

    Thanks to these idiotic ideas shoved in our faces and glossied and dressed up by magazines, international press and worst of all, Disney (foisting them on impressionable little kids), there are enough WOMEN who find the “girl has dreary boring life, nothing good happens until she meets Prince Charming and falls in love, and then and only then will come the ‘happy ever after'”. It’s so sad that these girls and women with SO much potential to actually do something for themselves and society and be independent are groomed and brought up believing their end goal should be to find a guy.

    Some people might take offense to my next and final statement, but even so – I feel like this is rather like the whole ‘burkha’ scenario. Like when these young girls are brought up to believe that the burkha ‘is a sign of modesty, shows your subservience and belief in god, and means you’re pleasing god and your husband’, and they think it’s the ‘right thing to do’.

    Both are equally harmful, one is just a bit more subtle.

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  9. Lovely post…! I remember as a kid, I also had this idea that I HAD to date someone older who would tell me what to do. That was the way it should be.
    After several relationships with older men, I realized , that I in fact don’t like to be told what to do.
    And so .. now I am extremely happy with my younger (in age) boyfriend, who tells me what he thinks and not what I should do. Even so it has taken a while for me to get comfy with the idea, thanks to the years of conditioning.🙂

    Also, great episode of satyamev jayate. i loved the way he talked to the pompous khap panchayat people.

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    • That reminds me, a lot of girls today, even my peers, believe that a guy should be older, more intelligent, stronger, taller (BIG emphasis on taller!), etc.

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      • Sharing a comment here by my tween- she said that at their school, it is ok to be seen as friendly to a boy who is younger than you. But, if you are friendly (in the middle school context, even a casual Hi or helping someone in their work is ‘friendly’) with a boy older than you, there are all these sly smiles and hawwww! from everyone!

        So this seems to be a malady of gen-Y too!

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  10. Though the lyrics are from Sound of Music, which incidentally is one of my favorite movies of all times, these lines no longer apply in today’s era. Maybe when the movie was made long long time ago, the feminist movements may not have happened (not sure about the exact date of the movie) and may have depicted the dependent state of women of those times.
    I loved the SMJ episode on choice marriages. Touched a chord! Plus, I am so glad they called the khap panchayat fellows, who by their reasoning made fools of themselves on national television. That was indeed satisfying. I almost laughed aloud when one of the khaps said: “we never give orders to kill anyone, let alone slap anyone. We just tell them not to come back in the village and not to keep in touch with the villagers”. Because yes, outcasting a person is as cruel as slapping or giving orders to kill for falling in love.

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    • I watched this today. It was a very emotional topic to listen to, especially the appeal from the daughter to let go of “So much anger” and give her “little love”. I loved the reply that the professor gave to the khap context…I wondered if they get it – that though they didnt directly KILL they did Kill by enabling the others in the society to kill.

      Thank you so much for posting the youtube link…

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  11. Nice piece of music, but i doubt if it matters much in the modern world because thankfully everyone is quite aware of the so called mature things these days. Older does not translate into wiser all the time, and experience is gained by interaction with people especially parents , watching tv, reading newspapers and not through age. I think everyone needs to encourage young people to expand their horizon not only with stuff related to what they find interesting but also with stuff that makes them better human beings. And if we are able to do that then i think innocent people like the one mentioned in the poem will be able to choose wisely and quite obviously live well.

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      • IHM,
        Many young women even these days mistake control, manipulation, coercion and jealousy for love.

        I remember having a friend in college who changed herself completely and became a totally different person. Her boyfriend would dictate what she could wear, which color, where she could go, where she couldn’t, who she could hang out with. It became so bad that he started alienating her from the rest of our group when he realized that his popularity within the group was sinking faster than the titanic and she started making excuses for not wanting to hang out with us anymore.

        When confronted she would always say it was either because he loved her and knew whats best for her or because he was a couple of years older than her and knew better.

        The psycho once picked a fight with her after she had helped a disabled person cross the road. What he didn’t like was her holding the disabled guy’s arm instead of his walking stick to guide him across the street. The absolute worst part was this girl sitting in the canteen and lamenting to us that maybe, just maybe she should have grabbed the walking stick instead of the arm. I was so glad when they broke up after college, but it left my friend shattered and broken.

        But I’m also glad that times are changing and more women are realizing that its not in their best interest to let someone else control and dictate how they should live their life.

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  12. I watched this episode of SMJ with full attention.
    I enjoyed watching the faces of the Khap chaps as Amir dealt with them.
    As regards the Song from Sound of Music, when this movie was first released, we all thought this song was cute!
    Feminism, women’s lib etc was not talked about at all during those years
    I don’t remember any one paying any serious attention to the lyrics

    If this movie had been released today, this song would have created a storm!

    How times change!

    I noted in particular the words in the song :

    ‘Your life, little girl, is an empty page,
    That men will want to write on’

    I am reminded of that Hindi song from Kora Kaagaz
    I suppose the words that Kishore Kumar should have more appropriately used should have been:

    कोरा कागज़ है यह जीवन तेरा
    लिखूँगा जिसपर कायदा मेरा

    Great post. I will look forward to that email you mentioned.
    Regards
    GV

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  13. As a kid this used to be a favorite song, along with many others in this movie🙂 The lyrics are very Victorian, but then so was the whole movie.. and I refuse to dissect one of of my old childhood favs😛
    Let me just say that had I had the same world view at sixteen as I do now, and had somebody had the audacity to try and woo me this way, I’d have laughed until my stomach hurt.

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  14. Actually, IHM, if you watch the video of the song “I am Sixteen”, you’ll see that even though the boy sings these words sincerely (and NO they are not romantic!), the girl sings her words with perfect sarcasm. My favorite bit is when she walks her fingers up his arm with that sly expression while singing how she’s shy and innocent, LOL

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  15. I watched this movie for the first time when I was about five years old. I didn’t catch most of the lyrics, apart from the repetitive phrase of him being 17 going on 18, her being 16 going on 17, and therefore he will take care of her. Confused, I pointed out to my parents that he was only one year older than her, and would not be able to take care of her. If he was a few years older it would have made more sense. I was always a feminist, I think.😀 But, I genuinely did not understand the song at that point of time. (And also turned my head in embarrassment when they kiss each other at the end of it)

    Today, when I hear the words I find them infuriating. I do understand that couples often look out for each other, ‘baby’ each other in jest and take care of each other (From time to time, I like it myself), but it always goes both ways. This song has a clear power dynamic to it, even while it is meant to be very romantic. Perhaps it was meant to be a foretelling of how the boyfriend ends up becoming a Nazi because of his controlling nature – or it’s merely romantic.

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  16. While I commend Aamir’s effort with SMJ, I felt this episode lacked punch. There was no mention of the rights of an individual including the right to make a mistake. While they discussed the legality of the situations, many parents will walk away thinking they are just preventing their adult kids from making a mistake. Also, there was no discussion on live in relationships and why exactly do very young people choose to elope – no accepted gender interaction, the once and you are done attitude.

    It also glorified the parents who accepted their daughter after 25 years! Not once did the parents in the interview say “we made a mistake”….instead it was just “we came around”. I feel this issue deserved a more strongly worded message.

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    • yes i too felt that it could have been more informative…that STRONG message was missing somehow though a great step and i love Aamir for it…

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  17. Allow me to thank you immensely. I have not yet watched this week’s episode of SMJ and plan to do so soon.

    I am 25, and have met SO MANY ( cant emphasise more on it) men and women of my age or younger who are severe romanticists of chastity, innocence and naivety ONLY in women. It irks me to know that ” I have not” and ” I cannot” by fellow women are fashion statements used to advantage. I was also advised not to share my past ( I had one failed relationship with a MCP ) with anyone. My mom who knows exactly how/what happened, was the best friend I ever had during my tough times. My childhood friends turned to be such severe critics. I was asked to mistake psychotic control, coercion and interference in personal choices as heavenly “love” .

    In many ways, this post helps me to connect and makes me feel not so alone. Thank you , so much!

    One of my favourite songs, too!

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    • ” I was asked to mistake psychotic control, coercion and interference in personal choices as heavenly “love”

      Archana, I too had friends and family criticise my decision to divorce somone who couldn’t understand notions of personal space, autonomy and respect in relationships.

      All I can say is that such people swear by unexamined ideals and have never encountered serious abuse and relationship conflict. As they say, only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

      Many women cannot grasp that intimate relationships can be toxic and abusive and the woman is not to blame for this. They seem to think that women in unhealthy relationships can make their problems go away by being more loving and “adjusting” (rolling my eyes).

      It’s best to cut such “friends” loose.

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  18. No, no and no. I don’t believe this song is at all ‘romantic’ and any signs of such romance between a boy and a girl frightens me. Your list of pointers for any relationship are a must-read for any body getting into a new relationship.

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  19. I loved loved Sound of Music🙂 so no comments on the song, even though it never was a fave.

    Choice marriages or “love” marriages are still considered a taboo and here, I see Indian parents or 6 or 7 yr old girls worrying that their daughters are going to “fall in love”!
    And when they come to know that one’s marriage is a “love” marriage, then there is scorn and the first line asked is – “Parents agreed?” if the answer is yes, they are always surprised!!

    I don’t have anything bad to say about “arranged marriages” except that its not something I understand…

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  20. “And he has to be cautious, because this is a very sensitive issue…. it mustn’t look like he was criticizing or casting aspersions on our Indian Family Values. Controlling the youth with examples of obedience and sacrifice is a part of our culture. I am sure he doesn’t want to be seen as a rebel..”

    Ahh those Indian Family Values. I, too, thought about how Aamir must have been treading some thin lines. I guess that is the compromise you make when you want to be a change agent. I agree with the poster above, he could have added stronger messages. This is one of those topics that I feel like people will say, oh my, how sad that happened to THEM, while disbelieving that any such thing could happen in their own family, or community, and I must say that I think that these oh so amazing Indian Family Values are obviously to blame.

    One of the patriarchs on the program said something I thought was so valid: “What is the written law to an illiterate man?” This was a great point. This is how the ugliness of some of these traditions survive. Ignorance. Control. Emotional Abuse. And obviously perpetuating that cycle for thousands of years.

    What gives anyone the right to kick someone out of their own neighborhood? And who are these spineless parents who put the society before the children that they brought into the world? And then had the nerve to act as if they are the ones being wronged?

    Oh, I know, it is the practitioners and upholders of Indian Family Values.

    The same values that seem to perpetuate domestic abuse, honor killings, abortions of girl babies, ostracizing family members, and using mental cruelty as a form of control.

    I think it is way past time to examine those values and ask what they really mean. Is more harm than good being done?

    If the only way you can uphold values is through guilting, ostracizing, and murdering people into obedience and sacrifice, I think it is time to take a closer look at the so-called “value” system.

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  21. As a man, I neither find the romanticized image of helpless naivete in a woman attractive, nor can I really understand why anyone should personally place value on virginity. I can see why a patriarchal society would do that as a whole, but why smart, independent young adults do it is a mystery to me.

    While I’m all for choice in relationships (goes without saying), I’m also in favor of being CAREFUL in relationships. I don’t agree with the pop-culture idea that love overcomes everything. It doesn’t. Love is not some kind of mystic magic cure to everything in the known universe; it’s just an emotion that you are evolutionarily programmed to feel. And while it’s powerful, it’s not all-powerful.
    ‘Because I love hen’ should not be a valid reason to stay with a person who raises all kinds of red flags in your mind.

    Focus on living your own life, fall in love on your own terms and use your judgement when you do.

    On a less serious note, my favorite love song by far is Elton John’s “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”. I actually sang this one to my wife before proposing to her. I’m a terrible singer, and it was all kind of cheesy, but she did say yes, so this song is kind of my lucky charm.😉

    An enchanted moment
    and it sees me through
    its enough for this restless warrior
    just to be with you

    Can u feel the love tonight?
    it is where we are
    Its enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
    that we got this far
    Can you feel the love tonight?
    How it’s laid to rest
    its enough to make kings & vagabonds
    believe the very best

    Beautiful.

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    • I was watching the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee concert on Monday and was so happy to see Elton John bang away at the piano; resplendent in glittering magenta coatails and matching eyewear.

      Only he can perform in front of thousands; and be completely unselfconscious in that ultra-feminine colour.🙂

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  22. What everyone needs to realize about choice marriages is that it doesn’t create a divide, but brings together “different” people. Different in terms of culture, language, religion, nationality, mentality and so on.
    I am a child of a Tam-brahm father and a Telugu non-brahm mother. I speak to my father in tamil and to mum in telugu. We celebrate three new years – Jan 1st, April 14th (Tamil) and ugadi. I did have chicken, consciously as a kid, and gave it up later, it was completely my decision.
    My mother was given all the freedom and respect to do things at home, her way and not change herself to someone she’s not.
    It’s hard to even think what all I’d miss out had both my parents been tamilians/telugu.😛

    Unlike the ones that SMJ showed, theirs was a marriage where in both the families agreed, happily. So I even have the privilege of getting to know both cultures from the older generation.

    It’s not the “value system” that’s wrong. It’s the people. It’s they who created the values, right?

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    • Right…its the People, which is why it appalls me when people quote the Manu Smriti for the basis of how society should be…Manu Smriti, was relevant only for that time period, as circumstances change, people change, then the culture also changes…It would be best to move with the times and its changes than cling to what is irrelevant or doesnt work for us anymore.

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  23. Once we ( I and my mother) were discussing about inter-caste marriages with my dad. My dad being very conservative, I asked what if brother falls in love with someone from other caste ?
    He replied saying he will not stay with him, and it will be selfish on his part to marry without our (*father’s) wish.

    I could not discuss any further😐 Since when choosing your own partner became selfish ?

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    • I would say, if you are choosing someone you are going to be living with for the rest of your life(in all probablity) then it better be YOU who makes the decision than someone else make that decision for you. I Think we should be Selfish in this regard. After all Selfish is a matter of perspective. From the child’s perspective the Parents are selfish to want their child, who in all probability would outlive them, to live unhappily for the rest of their lives.

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  24. For those who are unaware, Elton John is a homosexual man. Because of the fluidity in homosexual attraction triggers, gay men don’t have the same hang ups with masculinity as straight men do. Heterosexual men on the other hand, tend to be more guarded about their masculinity, both to escape ridicule from their peers and to be put into the unattractive mould by women.

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  25. Our very own Taliban ?

    Why worry about foreign-based Taliban ?
    We have our very own – in the form of Khap Panchayats ( self-declared village bodies ) to worry about

    Proof :

    A few days back , Khap Panchayat of Asara village ( Baghpat district of Uttar Pradesh ) , issued following “ diktat “ :

     Women below the age of 40 shall not use mobiles

     Women will cover their heads whenever they leave home

     Women shall not opt for a love marriage

    But what good is a “ diktat “ without laying down punishment for “ diktat breakers “ ?

    Punishment :

     Ex-communication from the village

    Apparently , Asara village Khap belongs to the moderate Taliban
    In similar cases of violation of their diktats , other Khaps have supervised the public killing of the lovers !
    And these are the Khaps which will not hesitate to build a temple of Durga Mata to “ honor “ the Motherhood !

    Ultimate Irony :

    Response of Chief Minister Akhilesh Yadav ( a Master’s Degree holder in Environment Engineering from Australia ) : “ If this is what Khap decided , then it must be in the interest of the villagers “

    With regards

    hemen parekh

    http://www.CustomizeResume.com

    Jobs for All = Peace on Earth

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