“She wasn’t exactly behaving like a future wife.”

So a woman (Zohal Hameed) accuses a man (Royal Challengers Bangalore player Luke Pomersbach, 27), of molesting her and of beating her fiance when he attempted to stop the assault.

What do you expect next if this happened in India?

Yes, some kind of attempt to justify the alleged molestation.

Take a look at this tweet by Sidhartha Mallya (director of the IPL franchise Royal Challengers Bangalore).

“The girl who is accusing Luke is saying he hit her ‘fiance’…what a load of fX#$%g s#$t. She was all over me last night and asked for me bbm pin, so if he was her fiance she wasn’t exactly behaving like a future wife.”

I was glad to read that “defamation notice has been sent to Sidhartha Mallya (director of the IPL franchise Royal Challengers Bangalore) for his remarks on Twitter in the molestation case involving one of his players”. I was even more glad to read that the Ms Zohal Hameed “has also reportedly lodged a complaint with the Delhi commission for women against Mr Mallya for his tweets on the incident.” [link]

For some reason Siddartha Mallya does not say he would defend the truth, he says,

“I will do everything I can do defend my player,” (Hear Sidhartha Mallya defend his tweets)

A reporter can also be heard asking Ms Zohal Hameed,

Everyone is asking the same question, what’s your background, because if there are aspersions on your character… What’s your background, what you do, where you come here…

Supposing it turns out that Zohal does not meet the reporters’/everyone’s standards of an ideal victim of sexual assault then do the allegations need to be investigated or not?

Now, contrast Siddartha Mallya’s response with Anil Kumble’s response. [link]

“Whatever reports I have seen …is from the press and the media so far have been disappointing, and.. you know …Luke so far with the IPL has been exceptional but it’s an unfortunate incident so we will certainly not play Luke henceforth… we will give full cooperation to whoever is investigating in this. I am sure internally also we will look into this matter, it’s a very serious matter and and we will certainly look into this.”

India needs to learn whether or not a woman behaves like a wife or ‘a future wife’ (or bad wife, good wife, past wife, never can be a wife etc) allegations of a sexual assault need to be taken seriously so that a strong message is sent out to potential rapists that they would not find support in form of victim blaming.

68 thoughts on ““She wasn’t exactly behaving like a future wife.”

  1. So many Indians seem to suffer from a stunning incapacity to isolate the main issue without getting distracted by frivolous things. Is it the inability to think logically while not allowing your prejudices to get in the way? Or something else?

    Come to think of it, perhaps it’s not specific to Indians. Maybe it’s a human nature thing. Still, it’s depressing as hell…

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  2. partying and drinking until 6 am , ( not wrong )
    having 3 men in her room ( nothing wrong )
    falling over RICH men , hoping to extract some money,
    all fine
    surely the so called victim is a Gold digger
    whats wrong questioning her character when she claims to be a SATI SAVITHRi
    most of the women who attend these parties end up in bed with different people on different days,
    does it mean that whatever she says is the gospel truth ??

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    • Let’s say everything you say is true, then if one of the women you describe, on one day does not want to ‘end up in bed with’ one person, then it is a crime to force her to do that. It’s also a crime to try to do anything else with her, without her consent on that one day when she does not consent. I think investigations are required and are being carried out and should be.

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    • if someone has touched her WITHOUT her consent, they deserve to be prosecuted, period. all the other ‘insights’ you have written is immaterial and trash.

      and just curious – what would you call a man who parties and drinks throughout the night, who throws money on ‘gold-diggers’ because it makes him feel ‘big’ down there, who sleeps with such a random ‘immoral’ woman knowing that she has been ‘passed around’? Superstar? Rockstar? The Man?

      get a life, loser.

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      • Exactly my thoughts Sumana! Why doesnt anyone ever talk about the man who was partying like 6AM, having women in his room, throwing money on gold diggers? Why isnt his character ever questioned? Rather it is celebrated.
        This is precisely the problem in India – victim bashing. No Ashram67- you kind of guys are exactly the reason why rape happens in India and the rapist also gets away with it

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        • yes Sharmi – I call these people ‘closet rapists’ – by their sheer justification of sexual harassment, they support rape and all associated crimes. Its not just India – this is the reaction almost everywhere in the world. Look at that Strauss Kahn – what a nasty piece of work. His sexual deviations were well chronicled; yet when a poor maid was assaulted, the maid was maligned no end; and everyone said it was a ‘conspiracy’ against Kahn.

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    • What the hell is your definition of ‘Sati Savitri’ and why do you think it’s some sort of ideal? It’s her business who she wants to sleep with and who not. If she’s doing it voluntarily, then that’s fine. The moment she’s being forced into doing it, it is quite simply rape. Even if she is with a man for his money, that’s a decision she’s taken and the man is in accordance with. Are you saying someone who parties, drinks and flirts with WHOEVER SHE CHOOSES deserves to be raped?

      Seriously, you are a loser.

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    • When did anybody claim she was a Sati Savitri?
      Obviously she is not but that is totally irrelevant.
      That does not permit Luke to do what he did.
      You believe Luke and not this lady?
      How did her fiance get those injuries if not from Luke?
      Have you checked on Luke’s past?
      There are enough juicy details.
      If it comes to this lady’s word against Luke’s, I know whom to believe
      Regards
      GV

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  3. Mallya Jr has seen the world. He cannot be accused of ‘not knowing any better’. When his parents couldn’t teach him basic respect for women, what hope can we have for the rest of our country?

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    • I have least hope of Mallya Jr being taught respect for women by his parents.

      The first time I travelled by Kingfisher airlines, many years ago, I read an welcome note by Vijay Mallya that was part of the safety instructions in the front seat pocket. Here Vijay Mallya boasted that his flight attendants were “models of the air” and that he had been personally involved in selecting them. Not a word about the pilots and whether he had personally made sure they are up to date on their skills.

      And for all the way Kingfisher service was hyped up, it was generally poorer than that of Jet and other full service airlines (I have flown extensively on all of them). Forcing your in-flight staff to wear short skirts and making sure all cabin staff are fair skinned does not equal good service.

      And wasn’t it under Vijay Mallya’s watch that Kingfisher started their so-called calendar?

      Anyway, my point is when the father himself is like this, I’m not surprised the son is no different.

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  4. (I’m only surprised you didn’t react earlier!) The moment I saw his comment on TV I was sure it was somehow misrepresented, so I checked it out online myself. The only thing more stupidly elitist than his tweet(s) are the whiney, poor little rich boy fake anglicised accent that he used in defending them. Blaming the victim : didn’t somebody tell him it went out in the 80s ?
    What gives me plenty of joy, is however, an entire lot of people taking his pants off online with the #futurewife tag. (You know you are screwed when even Chetan Bhagat cracks jokes about your lines). I sincerely hope the lawsuit does it in real life too, though I wish there were specific women-related charges instead of defamation, which is notoriously difficult to pin down.

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  5. Siddhartha Mally is clearly a jerk. I saw him on NDTV’s Left, Right and Centre with Nidhi Razdan and his arrogance in replying to the justified questions was disgusting. Nidhi didn’t hide her annoyance with him, which I was glad of. I hope the defamation notice will make a dent in that super-entitled notion he has of himself.

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  6. Oops, misspelled his name. So glad. He made of big deal on NDTV about being called ‘SiddhartAA’ not ‘Siddharth’ as if any gives a hoot

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  7. I think IHM that you seem to have arrived at conclusions without even waiting for the judicial processes to end. The woman is accusing Luke of committing an assault, fine let the investigating agencies carry with their work but its utter stupidity to make the woman a innocent victim and Luke a sinister criminal. I think this shows that you speak based on stereotypes and not on hard facts. And let me tell you i condemn abusive tweets as much as you do but you seem to have prepared yourself to bash luke without facts.

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      • Yes obviously i did, i do not accuse someone of some wrongdoing simply because he is rich, and more importantly because he or she belongs to the opposite sex. Mr Mallya is not a politician to be expected to use decent language all the time is he? Cmon you support freedom of expression dont you? Every true friend will obviously get enraged when someone accuses his buddy of something he hasnt done. Luke is a experienced cricketer and tell me what do you know of the woman? I hope you know what plenty of women taking part in night late parties intend to do. I dont think i need to tell you that. What Mr Mallya has done is what any person would have done to defend a yet to be proven guilty buddy. Offcourse i condemn the use of such obscene words but Mr Mallya is evidently enraged. I hope you realize that you cant get away with sounding out your own judgements on such issues.

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        • Yes obviously i did, i do not accuse someone of some wrongdoing simply because he is rich, and more importantly because he or she belongs to the opposite sex.

          IHM – Sounds fair.

          Mr Mallya is not a politician to be expected to use decent language all the time is he? Cmon you support freedom of expression dont you?

          IHM- He is free to express his views and others are free to disagree with those views.

          Every true friend will obviously get enraged when someone accuses his buddy of something he hasnt done.

          IHM – It’s not wrong to say he believes his friend is innocent – it’s wrong to make unsubstantiated remarks about the woman. In fact in the tweet I have quoted he said nothing about his true friend’s innocence.

          Luke is a experienced cricketer and tell me what do you know of the woman?

          IHM – Experienced cricketers and multimillionaires, and a beggar who sleeps on the roadside who has never lifted a bat in his life – all are (and should be) equal in the eyes of law. And whether the woman is a sex worker or a sati savitri, both have equal right to safety from sexual assaults.

          I hope you know what plenty of women taking part in night late parties intend to do. I dont think i need to tell you that.

          IHM – Irrelevant. No matter what they do, they cannot be sexually assaulted by cab drivers or cricketers or politicians, or film stars or spiritual gurus or beggars or anybody.

          What Mr Mallya has done is what any person would have done to defend a yet to be proven guilty buddy.
          Offcourse i condemn the use of such obscene words but Mr Mallya is evidently enraged. I hope you realize that you cant get away with sounding out your own judgements on such issues.

          IHM – Think about it, why do you feel that it is okay for him to condemn this woman and not okay for me to point out that condemnation was irrelevant to the alleged assault?
          Why is okay for him to be enraged and not okay for me to express my disappointment with yet another case where the focus is on the woman’s character and not on the alleged assault, the crime?

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        • I think you are right IHM. I am just 17 and have got a lot to learn, i accept the fact that i should not defend irrelevant allegations against any person. Meanwhile thanks for correcting me.

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        • Hi Sushobh, evidently you have missed the basic point of the outrage over Jr Mallya’s comments. You ask us to suspend premature judgement on Luke on a private blog till the investigating agencies complete their work…fair enough…yet, you seem to be fine with Siddhartha Mallya prematurely judging and damning the woman in front of the entire world without waiting for the investigating agencies. Doesn’t that sound wrong to you? Also he was not present when the incident with Luke happened. He has no right to use her past behaviour (assuming he’s telling the truth) as an excuse to justify Luke’s behavior or to defame her statement. Those two incidents are not related in any way. By trying to relate those incidents, he has shown his blatant sexism. In addition, who the hell is Mallya (or anyone else) to certify whether any lady is behaving like a future wife or not?

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    • I agree with ‘money talks’. Kind of a sweeping statement to say only ‘educated people do this’.. I’m educated and intend to be further so, and I find that statement offensive. I’m also from a family that would be described as affluent, but I don’t feel like I have the right to do and say anything.

      I find your comment extremely presumptuous.

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      • Ok.. Good .. I too am educated and from a RICH family..

        but its always the rich and educated who do such things and money talks .. I do say it again..

        As we are seeing from the Satyamev jayate series who are doing the worst in our nation the educated and the rich ..

        Truth always hurts , the earlier we face the truth the faster we shall be able to do something for our nation 🙂

        I am not gonna say sorry or anything for it , because this is the truth.. beleive it or not …

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        • Bikram, I think it’s when the rich and educated do it that it is publisized, not that only the rich and educated do it. I’m sure illiterate and poor people discriminate against women. But we expect better of the educated because they are, well, educated and one hopes education can enlighten people.

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  8. folks! calm down! I was upset – but when i saw it was Mallya Jr. who was questioning the lady’s character, I thought okay, there must be some truth. Mallya Jr is a man of sterling character – I don’t know him personally, but from media reports, this is what I can gather about him. Also from the way he looks, I know he is a very decent boy. I never thought I would quote the infamous Biben Laikhuram here, but I am forced to do so. Mallya Jr. has preserved his virginity as a gift from God, and he is as pure as an angel. Again, I have no personal, first hand (or even second hand) information on this aspect – but I can make out from his photos – just the way we can make out from that lady’s photo she is a gold digger and no sati savitri. Also, it is very clear that he does not touch drinks. Just look at his face – nothing more stimulating than Horlicks has passed those lips.

    Actually, Mallya Jr went to that hotel suite thinking a prayer meeting is in progress. When this lady ‘fell all over him’, he had his hands firmly in his pockets. Being pure of mind and heart, he naturally thought this was a prayer ritual. But this lady did something very seedy. After all the excessive touching, she did not ask him to take off his clothes, or did not call him to a private corner. Instead SHE ASKED FOR THE PIN OF HIS MSGR. OMG! OMG! THis is SOOOOO IMMORAL.

    THe poor boy was in a state of utter shock at being propositioned like this – so much so, he could not react when this woman was pawed by another man, or when all that beating and thrashing started. He sat quietly in a corner, shivering, shaking – and finally managed to run away. See – now tell me – do you still want to talk harshly about the boy? Do you..huh? Do you?

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  9. Idiot fellow. He’s been brought up in a family that really doesn’t seem to have respect for women, for them they’re probably just hangers-on that are only there to have sex with, and that’s the beginning and end of the story.

    This makes me think of that Aisha ad again, ‘virginal pure woman= good’, ‘woman with own mind who makes own decisions = harlot’ .. What is ‘future wife behaviour’ according to Sid Mallya, I’d like to know. Sitting bejewelled and saying ‘haan ji chai laati hoon ji’?

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  10. Imagine a guy claiming that this player has assaulted him. Will this player be automatically suspended while the investigation is going on. Don’t you think this over-sensivity whenever there is “molestation” of women involved is actually hindering women by portraying them as constantly vulnerable and depicting their sexuality as a prized possesion.. what is so special regarding a sexual assault than from any other voilent assault ?

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    • Normal human beings who have plenty of self-respect, don’t exactly like pawing apes getting in their way, they do not like if they are violated.

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    • In an ideal world, if a guy had complained this player had molested him, the player would be suspended. It would not happen in our society because we are homophobes – but be assured that vulnerability is the same fir both men and women. Sexual assault is worse than regular assault because your dignity and humanity is violated. It is not oversensitivity towards women- we need to be sensitive towards men or women who have experienced sexual assault.

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      • I’m not sure that sexual assault (on both men and women) should be treated more seriously than other kinds of assault but all assault needs to be taken seriously. The Bhajji case was a good example.

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    • B, your argument does not make sense on a lot of different levels. When Sreesanth accused Bhajji of slapping him, Bhajji was immediately suspended even before any inquiry was undertaken. So your argument about women’s accusations being given preferential treatment seems hollow. Also, are you kidding me about our presumed “oversensitivity towards molestation of women”? If anything, we are hilariously under-sensitive. According to our National Crime Reports Bureau, it is estimated that only one in 69 rapes and molestations are actually reported. If this is true, isn’t this a shameful statistic? Most women do not report them because they are afraid that some genius will come and start trivializing their traumatic experience or start questioning their character and end up blaming them for it. That doesn’t sound like over-sensitivity to me. It sounds to me very much like our country has failed it’s women. Women are, in reality, much more vulnerable to physical and sexual assault than men are (especially in a society like ours). So their accusations need to be taken much more seriously, not less seriously. Finally your question about why sexual assault is considered special has left me befuddled. Sexual decisions are one of the most private and personal decisions a human being can take. It is one of the major indications that a person has control of their own body. When a person is sexually assaulted, that control is wrested away from them forcefully. Because of this, their sense of dignity as a human being is violated at a basic level. No one is denying that violent physical assault (on a man or a woman) is horrific. Sexual assault is violent assault with an additional sexual component and as a result even more horrific. I do not know if this particular instance of accusation is true or not. However, I know that if there were 100 different instances of accusations, an overwhelming majority of them would be true. That is reason enough to take these accusations seriously for investigation.

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  11. Siddharth Mallya is a public figure and when public figures make a remark like that, it cannot be cast away with a ‘freedom of speech’ argument since his aspersion on the victim’s character could possibly taint public opinions on the issue. Freedom of speech is one of the sacrifices a person makes for being rich and famous.

    In any case, I don’t see why the woman’s behaviour or character is relevant to the case. If she has been molested, she has been molested. The issue here is a violation that occured without a victim’s consent, not the character or ‘morals’ of the victim. Leave it to the police to investigate whether the accusation is valid or not.

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    • I am not arguing Mallya’s fundamental right to freedom of speech. I am saying that as a celebrity, freedom of speech is not a cloak that he can use to deflect criticism. When public figures of his caliber utter such slanderous remarks, they are open themselves to criticism and scrutiny by the public and media. Their words and behaviour have a greater social impact that the word of any random person.

      I am not a lawyer, but a humanist. My perspectives are focused on ethics, human behaviour and social protocols, not legality.

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  12. A woman doesn’t deserve to be violated morally by any kinda person, let that be a rich guy like Mallya or anyone else.! Whats appalling is India is rich guys like him get away with any kinda doing and talking with all the money they have.! What more sorrowful is after all the wrong has been done, the victim in most cases the woman is blamed with her character assassination that happens as if a woman doesn’t deserve to be respected.! Any or every woman even a prostitute deserves to be respected. without a woman’s consent no man in the ulterior universe can touch a woman.! Btw.! It’s my BIRTHDAY tomorrow.!🙂

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    • The key word is “Respect” . Everyone woman, men, human, creatures, living, non-living ..everything of this creation deserve respect. The pain & suffering in our lives or the so much destruction is all associated with not respecting. Atleast in the India’s case when we talk of respect for everything around us – culturally – the trees, the house, the car, everything we worship. But when it comes to woman, while talk of her as “devi” but the respect is missing. The problem I believe is so keep always the demi-God image of her rather than see as her a fallible human !

      Btw, Happy Birthday Rinzu 🙂

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    • “Any or every woman even a prostitute deserves to be respected.”
      Key point. I have seen this kind of attitude among people in Delhi and Haryana, who believe a prostitute cannot demand the same kind of protection and the right to sexual consent as a ‘charitra Bharatiya nari’. This is an attitude that has to change. Humans are humans. No one deserves to be molested or violated in any way – whatever be their professions or socio-economic status.
       
      But again, it is difficult to argue this point in a country where people believe extra-judicial killings and tortures are justifiable, in some circumstances.

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  13. This is so common in India with sexual assault cases..The first thing is always to question the woman’s character. And then decide whether or not she “deserves” justice. Utter BS! But I am glad Mallya got much bashing about his tweets.

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  14. Being a Bangalorean, I was deeply disturbed by this incident.

    While the father Vijay Mallya, did not say the wrong thing and Kumble said the right thing, Sidharth blundered.

    I was sickened by his public tweet and his speaking up for Luke.
    I read this blog post rather late today.

    Royal Challengers have just lost the match to Deccan Chargers. They snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. I would have been saddened by this defeat and the gifting of the fourth place in the play offs to Chennai. But after this sickening episode and reading what Sidharth Mallya had to say, I don’t feel so disappointed after all.

    I do feel sorry for Virat Kohli and his team. They deserved a better sponsor than Sidharth Mallya and a better team mate than Luke.

    Regards
    GV

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    • One bad egg inthe RCB basket was bad enough.
      His sponsor stating that he is going to stand by his player is worse
      We didn’t need any more.
      And this morning, to add to my disgust, there is this report about Appanna!
      GV

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  15. A woman cannot be even touched without her consent. This is again victim bashing something which is very popular and prevalent in our country!!😦

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  16. I’ve been thinking about Mr.Mallya Jr.’s tweet and interview with NDTV…I think people like him have a hard time seeing women having a great time because it means they own their sexual pleasure which is dangerously close to them wanting to own their bodies…Women owning their bodies? WE CAN’T HAVE THAT! HOW DARE THEY! If women own their bodies and don’t apologize for having sex then they are no longer objects to be used and abused and this makes a lot of people uncomfortable…

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  17. This reminds me of the Scarlett Keeling rape case that happened in Goa. Visible people like Bina Ramani can make a difference in people’s perception towards women. But instead what she said was “If you wear a bikini (you are asking for it)… be more respectful of the country you visit.” It was in extremely bad taste.

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  18. And an update:

    “Investigators on Monday claimed that Australian cricketer Luke Pomersbach, arrested on charges of molesting an American woman, had told them that he inadvertently touched the victim and was under the influence of alcohol when the incident took place.

    Police sources also said that the name of Royal Challengers player KP Appanna has cropped up in the case after he was identified in a CCTV footage. He was allegedly seen accompanying Pomersbach to the room of the victim.”

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/sports/cricket/ipl-2012/news/Luke-Pomersbach-confesses-to-his-crime-Reports/articleshow/13348376.cms
    (Thanks for sharing the link Anil Singhal.)

    Video here,

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.comvideos/news/Luke-admits-to-molesting-US-national-Reports/videoshow/13348945.cms

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    • More than the arguments here, i am actually falling reading at the comments posted in that link you have shared, it gives me an insight of the world around, what jackasses can think !

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  19. Anil Kumble has always been a gentleman hasn’t he? I love that man.
    Meanwhile, this BS will not stop unless those who know correct people who talk like that, every time. Some people think it is cool to talk like that.

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  20. finally what happened , seems like the woman has decided to withdraw the case for a fee.
    one who sells herself for a fee is known as a whore .

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    • And what can be a bigger insult for a woman than being called a ‘whore’?

      What are non-women who ‘sell themselves’ as skilled workmen, actors, talented artists, sex workers, porn stars, agents, laborers, construction workers etc called?

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    • Kumar, your statement is highly biased and prejudiced. What’s worse…it’s utter nonsense. Out of court settlements are an integral part of our legal process. Thousands of people reach out of court settlements in our country every year. Unless you are planning on calling each one of them a whore, I don’t see how it applies here. Zohal has done nothing immoral or illegal here. Luke committed a crime. She got him to confess to the crime in public and made him pay for that crime without going through the hassle of our courts. I’m interested to understand from you how this makes her a whore? I’m far more interested in your warped mindset here. Luke molested Zohal (which he admitted to). To any rational person, this makes Luke the criminal (who should be criticized) and Zohal the victim (who should be supported). The cause of your outrage should actually be the fact that Luke molested Zohal. However, you instead seem to be insanely outraged by the fact that she actually made him pay for his crime. I’m sorry to say that your moral lens is highly skewed. I hope you realize that by blaming the victim, you are indirectly supporting and enabling the molester. Is that what you were going for?

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  21. What I want to know is, why is the intentions of the woman are scrutinized when the time goes into the Night zone? Its quite alright if a man does it, I understand. So I wonder, how many Men would feel the man deserved it, if a few women striped the man who was partying late at night, and forced him have sex with women he doesnt want to have sex with? I bet no one will say “He asked for it” or “He wasnt Maryada Puroshotam Ram to begin with” or “Well, he was a gold-digger, sleeping around with women from rich families” would they? (Yes Sarcasm intended)

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  22. geez, So drinking smoking partying and are easy you can’t complain of someone’s unwanted advances. this applies to SidFucking Mallya too. Next time someone should molest him and he should not complain.

    Like

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