Link and email shared by Swarup Biswas.
The reason I’m writing you is that all my life I’ve noticed what epic failures (among other things) most arranged marriages are but how little the mainstream media does to discourage this generally bigoted practice.
I just read this picture article at iDiva which is referenced by TOI’s main page and cannot believe what they were thinking when they painted such a utopian image of arranged marriages.
Judging by their articles and choice of topics I believe most iDiva readers are impressionable young women who might be misguided by this miscarriage of journalistic ethics with disastrous consequences. It contains statements such as ‘In most arranged marriages, the in-laws become a support system for the new bride and help her get accustomed with her new life’ amongst many other such unsubstantiated claims. Personally I detest the propagation of this outdated and archaic system that treats women like some commodity. I just thought I’d bring it to your notice.
The eight reasons that the article above gives for having an arranged marriage are,
1. …And in a negotiated marriage, family support is a given.
2. If the marriage demands the girl to stay with her in-laws, it is more likely that they will make her feel comfortable as they have already ‘approved’ of her.
3. The process … involves understanding each other’s cultural interests apart from individual views and opinions about life in general.
4. Financial Security: Unlike a love marriage where financial security of the groom is not always a priority, in an arranged marriage, it is imperative that the bride’s family ensure that their would-be son-in-law is career-oriented and has a steady flow of income.
5. Mystery element: Each day is a surprise wherein the couple learn about the nitty gritty of the relationship and also take an effort to nurture it.
6. Dating opportunity: Once the alliance is arranged, the boy and girl are officially allowed to meet and know more about each other.
7. Spoilt for choice: Ever heard of Swayamvar, an ancient Indian practice of choosing a husband from among a list of suitors?
8. In-laws syndrome: Since both the parties are way too involved in finding the right match and also the actual activity of marriage, it takes the load off the bride-to-be and gives her time to get comfortable in her new surroundings.
Edited to add: Kiran Manral shared this link on twitter, a ninth reason given, very commonly, to have an arranged marriage.
Divorce rate high in love marriages: HC
An email: So my chances of finding a groom through the arranged marriage system seem very-very bleak…
An email: If I am wrong in any way, please advise me a suitable course of action as I feel miserable..
A detailed check list of conditions from modern young women of marriageable age.
A marriage arranged by the parents is better because they have experience.
An email from an Indian Husband… and a Good Indian Son.
Can a woman marry and change an uninterested (in marrying her) man into a responsible, loving husband? (Smartu and Sweety)
An email: Is it fair for parents to say that their happiness depends on who their kids marry?
An email: My brother leaves it to my mother to decide if the families’ minds will match.
Destitute husband cannot seek wife’s company, rules HC
So what could make even the average, selfish, money-minded Indian family welcome baby girls?