To truly understand girl baby hatred, please read Scaredy Cat’s email and his seemingly blasé responses to comments. This is how Patriarchy empowers the Parents of Sons. This Indian son (like millions of others) believes he is trying to be fair and gender neutral as he lays out clearly biased terms for a Prospective Bride and chances are his parents will find someone who is not able to refuse these terms.
Think about what exactly is this Indian son (like millions others) offering his life partner. And exactly what Scaredy Cat gets out of this ‘marriage’.
Why doesn’t the skewed gender ratio enable Indian women to refuse such ‘marriages’? Because most Indian parents believe that an Indian daughter’s main goal in life is to Get Married and Stay Married.
Parents of little girls are heard saying, “Let her sleep/play/study/dress/have fun/avoid chores in her parents’ home because once she gets married and goes to her sasural (marital home) she will have to do as her in laws demand.”
Many parents also feel they must train their daughters for this tough destiny, some think it is their responsibility and dharma to get their daughters married. Nearly all Indian parents (and many women) accept marriage as a woman’s goal in life.
Once marriage is made her life’s sole purpose for one partner, but what Scaredy Cat has described for the other partner – it is easy to imagine why most Indian families don’t want to have daughters. For those who hold the traditional view, having a daughter means being prepared to raise a child whose chances of happiness are in control of families of Indian Scaredy Cats (or Shravan Kumars).
So if there was no way to selectively abort girl babies, India and China will still have a skewed sex ratio. Girl-child hatred is not new to these cultures. Babies have been killed and buried in fields, left to die near garbage heaps, wrapped in wet blankets to cause pneumonia, drowned in milk or killed with neglect for centuries.
Take a look at some of the reasons these societies give for saving baby girls. Who would men marry if all the women are killed as babies. Sounds like a good reason to not kill daughters? When they can be wives of Scaredy Cats and Shravan Kumars why wouldn’t parents want to have daughters in these societies?
Another reason might appeal more to Indian parents, daughters can also be raised to be Shravan Kumars and Scaredy Cats.
Two news articles about skewed sex ratio which are (as usual) not talking about the real issue at all.
By 2020, China will have as many as 24 million men of marriageable age who will not be able to find a bride
For generations, anxious parents in rural China, like those in India’s villages, prayed to the heavens for a son, reflecting the strong traditional preference for boys over girls.
In some Chinese villages, however, having a daughter is slowly becoming the rage, at least according to recent accounts of families having to shell out tens of thousands of yuan to find brides because of an alarming shortage of women.
The primary reason for this trend, scholars said, was an increasingly skewed sex ratio in China, with 118 boys born for every 100 girls last year — an imbalance that had been exacerbated by sex-selective abortions on account of the one-child policy that came into force in the late 1970s.
In India two couples fight over a boy baby.
A seven-day-old baby girl lies abandoned at the Umaid hospital in Jodhpur, Rajasthan, as two couples fight over their claims for a boy who was born on the same night.
But in a Patriarchal society you need a ‘heart’ to have a baby girl 😦
Skewed sex ratio is not caused by sex selective abortions. It is caused by an unwillingness of the society to start seeing daughters (women) as real people with real feelings.