I believe “working for someone I love more worthy than working for a stranger” (your boss in your office).
Another comment from ‘Marriages are sold to Indian women in a glossy cover…?’ in response to Mr GV’s comment. My response in red.
How would you respond to this comment?
Comment: Sir, first let me assure you, that you won’t get a ‘thumbs down ratings’, as views expressed here by ‘some’ women are not universal, they account to a very fewer section of society. Being a woman myself, I do feel for my rights, but at the same time I also do know my duties and so I don’t hold these views as held by some of the women here !
IHM: Getting Married and Staying Married is not a duty. Seeing it as a duty is what makes Indian parents and women agree to give dowry and stay in abusive marriages.
Not getting married unless one wants to get married and to the person one is marrying, is a duty mainly to the person one is marrying.
Being self reliant is a duty to oneself.
Comment: //Mr GV – But it is optional, isn’t it? Where is the legal compulsion to marry? The compulsions you and other readers are referring to are social compulsions and these can be resisted by those who are convinced that marriage is not for them. Every reader of this blog, I believe is sufficiently educated and empowered to resist any social or family compulsion to marry. By all means, stay unmarried, or get out of your unhappy marriages, but please do not berate this institution.//
This is one valid point, I don’t know, what stops these modern ( I say western) , well qualified, highly educated women to say no to the societal pressure of getting married. They can simply say NO.
IHM: Unfortunately, many in our society see Getting-Married and Staying-Married as a duty – which is why even though there is no legal compulsion to marry, women are pressurized to get married.
Comment: Personally, I am 24 yet to get married, I am a post-grad and have a chosen not to pursue a career and be a homemaker after I get married (people around me are amused when I tell them about this decision, but getting up in the morning, getting ready for work and slogging for 9 hrs, coming home tired, sounds too exploitative to be true).
What do you think makes women work at home and outside ‘slogging 9 hours, coming home tired’?
Comment: Infact I sympathies with all my men folks who have no other option but to go out and slog for hours to make money. I don’t see any delight in this new empowering tool women have embraced.
IHM: Men should be able to have a say in whether or not they wish to be the sole earners in the family, many men might choose to be full time dads and homemakers.
Comment: One more thing, had I been financially independent I would have never got married.
IHM: This is a common situation for many Indian women…
I think everybody owes it to themselves to be able to support themselves – and marry only because they want to live with the person they are marrying.
Comment: But since I believe “working for someone I love more worthy than working for a stranger” (your boss in your office). And so I will get married.
IHM: One problem here could be that housework is not really acknowledged as work, many homemakers struggle to prove they are needed. Do read the related posts below.
Comment: But what reason do these women who are opposing marriage but still getting married have ? Does it not sound more of hypocrisy ?
IHM: If one is not able to fight back against a wrong, or is not a victim, does not mean they should not acknowledge the wrong. The first step to any change is to acknowledge that there is a problem.
One benefit of such discussions is that women realise that they are not alone to notice the double standards and unfairness.
Also, today more and more women are able to choose to marry or not to marry.
Comment: Accepting something you don’t believe in only shows how weak one is !
IHM: If one is weak one needs strength. Strength and support can be found through learning that one is not alone.
How much are you needed? – starsinmeyes
The ‘home maker’ stereotype – Sangitha
Never! I don’t want his money! – Preethi (Women’s Web)