Denying sex to spouse on first night ground for marriage annulment: Delhi high court

“It is not that the husband had sex with his wife only about 10-15 times from the date of his marriage within a period of five months, but the wife’s cruel act of denying sex to the husband especially on the very first night and then not to actively participate in it even for the said limited period for which no contrary suggestion was given by the wife,” the court said. [ link ]

I am only discussing the underscored part.

So it is cruel of a wife to be unwilling to have sex with the husband on the first night?

And it is considerate and humane to expect an inexperienced young woman to be eager to actively participate in an intimate act with someone she has probably never met before?

Probably someone she is not permitted to choose, and once chosen by the family, she generally gets to meet/know only on the wedding night? Seeing that he expects her to actively participate, possibly someone who has learnt about sex from the kind of porn that the Karnataka ministers were caught watching in the Assembly? [link]

Indian men (and women) are discouraged from learning about sex through sex education. They are culturally expected to see sex as something women do not want and something men always want. Movies and society seem to see a disinterest in sex as natural for a woman of high moral values, modesty and virtue. Indian movies are full of such scenes.

Ignorance and lack of knowledge about sex in women, is romanticized, even glorified. [link]

One also hears about how Indian men do not want to marry  the ‘kind of women’ who can be persuaded to sleep with them without marrying them and traditionally women eager to have sex are seen as deserving of suspicion and derision. There is almost no discussion about about sensitivity towards a  woman’s feelings, or understanding her reluctance, nobody seems to care because she is also supposed to announce ‘the good news’ and produce a male heir within a year of being married.

We even romanticize the ‘not knowing what to expect‘ of the ‘first night’. We make light of and joke about the easily avoidable and very valid apprehensions that a couple might have.

1. Beauty Parlour. You just don’t know what to expect.

2. Tattoo.

3. About expectation from one of the partners to know everything although they are not openly encouraged to learn. It seems how much he knows about sex has to do with how much of a mard a man is.

Women also might believe that is is natural for a real ‘mard’ to have no consideration for their feelings.

4. Fevicol… Cringe worthy? Men can’t help being men?

Related posts:

Romanticizing innocence, chastity and related taboos for women.

Many of us view watching porn as a harmless activity…