Sharing an email…
I really need some advice here and need an unbiased view.
I come from an upper middle class family. My mom and dad are in every sense ‘self made’ as they did not have much financial support in their younger years. They both are now retired and in their early 60’s. Suffice to say they live a comfortable life and like their peers/friends. I have a married sister who is a SAHM.
I am married have a young son and have worked since I completed by MBA
(14 years experience in all ) with no breaks at all. I strongly believe that I must have a financial contribution to the household as I am well educated, capable and believe I have to make the most of opportunities that come my way. I also feel I am very fortunate to have got the education and opportunities I have got. In-spite of being extremely stressed out at home and work, I pursue my career against all odds. I enjoy my job only to a certain extent but pursue it as I believe we must all be financially able and independent.
I earn around 50-60% of what my husband does. I do not have separate account for ‘my’ money and any investments we have made are with my as
well as his earnings. If I look at my financial position now, I really do not have anything I can call solely ‘mine’ except my car and a few pieces of jewelry. The house (one of the large investments ) that we have is held jointly though so I do have a share in the same, and also contribute to the EMI’s. The other investments are sort of medium sized but none of them have my name as joint owner, probably only as a nominee, though some part of my earnings have contributed to the same.
My father has a new house and I would like to help my father financially in terms of helping him pay some part of his loan/interest. One of the reasons for this is extremely long drawn and complicated, but suffice to say that I feel responsible for the substantial loan/interest he had to take to be able to buy his house. They both are now retired and paying this off would involve him dipping into his pension/provident fund and will affect their lifestyle to an extent.
I feel I must take up some of his burden. My point is as I am their daughter who has her own earnings, I must help them. I really feel there is really nothing wrong with this. I am willing to make an adjustment to my lifestyle and cut down on my personal expenditure, while ensuring that the family’s lifestyle is not affected. I do know that my family’s lifestyle (husband/me/kid) may be affected by this financial contribution to a small extent. I am not sure how my husband is going to react this and if it should
be something I try to explain to him and get his agreement on. On the
other hand I feel it is my money and I should have the freedom to do
what I choose to. I am in a quandary on how to approach this with him, and if at all it makes sense to do so. One of the reasons I think it may be an issue with my husband is probably on which one of us (sisters) would then inherit this property. To me it is the wish of my parents – I really would not care if it passed it on to my sister, but I am pretty sure he would not think it is fair if that happens. I have always told my parents to enjoy the spoils of their hard work and not to bother about ensuring they leave any property/money to me. They have enabled me to survive financially and it is upto me to do that – I am definitely not expecting/depending on what they may leave behind.
Would really appreciate your advice on if I should do this and how to go about explaining this to my husband.
In a quandary