Adarsh Bhartiya Nari – Ideal Indian Woman… !!!

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Bjigya shared this Hindi poem being shared on Facebook, here. “...this reaffirms everything we protest against on this blog...”

Here’s a rough translation.

*** आदर्श भारतीय नारी (??) ***
*** Ideal Indian woman (??)***

सर पे सिंदूर का “फैशन” नहीं है,
No sindoor is applied because they think it is not the fashion.

गले मे मंगलसूत्र का “टेंशन” नहीं है !
They want no tension of wearing Mangalsutra

माथे पे बिंदी लगाना “आउटडेटेड” लगती है,
They think wearing a bindi on their forehead is outdated

तरह तरह की लिपस्टिक अब होंठो पे
सजती है !
Various types of lipsticks now beautify their lips

आँखों में काजल और मस्कारा लगाती हैं,
They apply Kajal and mascara in eyes

नकली पलकों से आँखो को खूब सजाती हैं !
They enhance their eyes with artificial eye lashes
मूख ऐसा रंग लेती हैं की दूर से चमकता है,

they make their face up in ways that it glows from afar

पर्फ्यूम इतना तेज की मीलों से महकता है !
Perfume so strong the air is fragrant for miles

जो नथ कभी नाक की शोभा बढाती थी,
The nose-pin which enhanced the beauty of their noses once

आज होठ और जीभ पे लग नाक
Is pinned on the tongue or lips now

को ठेंगा दिखती हैं !
And cocks a snook from there.

बालों की “स्टाइल” जाने कैसी –
कैसी हो गयी,
What a variety of hair styles

वो बलखाती लंबी चोटी ना जाने
कहाँ खो गयी !
That long braid- where is it lost?

और परिधान तो ऐसे “डिज़ाइन” में आये हैं,
And attires have come in such designs

कम से कम पहनना इन्हें खूब भाये है !
They prefer to wear as little as possible

आज अंग प्रदर्शन
करना मजबूरी सी लगती है,
They feel compelled to expose their bodies

सोचती है इसी मे
इनकी खूबसूरती झलकती है !
They think that is the way to look attractive

पर आज भी जब कोई भारतीय परिधान
पहनती है,
But even today when she wears an Indian outfit

सच बताऊं सभी की आँखे उस पे ही अटकत हैं !
I will tell you the truth, every eye is attracted to that!

सादगी, भोलापन और शर्म ही भारतीय
स्त्री की पहचान है,
Simplicity, innocence and shame is an Indian woman’s identity

मत त्यागो इन्हें यही हमारे देश
का स्वाभिमान है !
Do not reject them, these are our country’s self respect!

यदि अब भी हम सोच रहे है कि ये आने
वाली माताएं हमारी आने वाली पीढ़ी में
‘भगत सिंह या नेताजी’ पैदा करेंगी, तो हम
गलत सोच रहे हैं,
If we are still thinking these future mothers in coming generations will produce Bhagat Singh or Netaji then we are thinking wrong,

पश्चिम की नक़ल करते
करते हम पूरी तरह अंधे हो चुके है……

Aping the west has blinded us completely….

जो अब
लाइलाज बीमारी का रूप ले चुकी है……!!

It has now become an untreatable illness….!!!
॥ ईश्वर इन्हे सद्बुद्धि दे ॥

II May god give them wisdom II
जय हिन्द, जय भारत !!

Jai Hindi, Jai Bharat!!

-I guess India lives in many centuries – those who still live in 1950s find the choices of those who live in 2012 difficult to understand.

 – That long braid- where is it lost?

– If long braid is preferred,  I am sure more than 80% of Indian women still wear their hair in a braid or a bun. Hair styles have changed for convenience and ‘stylish hair’ is no indication of one’s lack of values anymore than one long braid indicates Indian values.

– And attires have come in such designs

Everybody wears what is suited for their requirements, tastes, budgets, life style etc – it’s difficult for those who are not directly concerned to understand. I once met someone who thought it wasn’t possible for a woman to wear anything but a sari infront of her in laws.

– They prefer to wear as little as possible

Wouldn’t advice Bollywood style trying to teach women to dress like good Indian women – real life ‘eve teasers’ get Muthalik-treatment.

– They feel compelled to expose their bodies

We need to appreciate that we can’t lay the rules others live by, not even if they are women.

– They think that is the way to look attractive

But even today when she wears an Indian outfit

Tell you the truth, every eye is attracted to that!

They are probably not interested in dressing to look attractive to everybody who has an interest in their personal appearance. Their wardrobe, their money, they shop.

-Simplicity, innocence and shame is an Indian woman’s identity

Women are people – just like everybody else. Some are simple, some are complex, some are forthright, some are subtle, some are naive, some have had the opportunity to learn that naivete makes them vulnerable, some are easy to manipulate, some might even be manipulative.

If they have grown in families that respected them, they would be less likely to be ‘ashamed’ or apologetic about their power to make personal choices.

Confident citizens, men or women, aware of their rights and responsibilities make a strong nation, not naive notions of ‘ideal’ men and women.

If we are still thinking these future mothers in coming generations will produce Bhagat Singh or Netaji then we are thinking wrong,

Indian women (and men) are more than future dads and moms. Also, if a future generation of productive, law abiding citizens is needed, then the society must do it’s bit. How? For example, don’t make them choose between parenting and self reliance, because they might be forced to choose self reliance.

Aping the west has blinded us completely….

Aping anybody without thinking is not a good idea, not even one’s great great grand parents.

119 thoughts on “Adarsh Bhartiya Nari – Ideal Indian Woman… !!!

  1. What about Captain Lakshmi who was part of Subhas Chandra Bose’s army? What if she and the other women in the women’s only regiment had walked around in sarees and long braids busy being simple, innocent, and ashamed? I don’t think Netaji’s vision of women quite matches up to the poet’s…is the poet quite sure he wants mothers who give birth to more such Netajis?

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    • Ha ha GB. I have asked someone a similar question when faced by the ‘why you no wear braid and bindi’ brigade. Their response was that in the army you are honour bound to obey the rules. Similarly at home you have to obey the rules of the home. No matter what you are outside the house at home you are still a wife and mother (excuse me while I puke)

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    • LOL GB – I just imagined a bunch of saree clad women, shyly looking at the ground and biting the edges of their saree-pallus bashfully as they marched to attack the enemy.

      I guess the entire enemy contingent would have either collapsed in laughter or disbelief, thus ensuring victory for the women. Hmmm – I actually think the poet has a point, you know ;-)!

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  2. Oh shoot! This kind of attitude still exists … what can I say apart from the fact that I am glad the new Indian woman does not subscribe to this attitude, she dresses to please herself, not to uphold some quaint moralistic standard of someone else

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  3. do we have something called ADARSH Naari OR ADARSH MARD..
    I doubt if any of them exist in our nation…

    We are all talk and we like to crib at others while thinking we are the ADARSH person , whereas if we look into ourself or in our own home we will fine NONE who are ADARSH…

    Bikram’s

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  4. I’m not surprised that this was written by a man. I’m willing to bet that this a man who, once again, would definitely not be able to get a girlfriend/wife based on his personality, ever. This is why arranged marriages work for these kinds of men–they get to be put on a pedestal *and* wouldn’t have to face the rejection that they would surely face in the [supposedly evil] Western world.

    “Simplicity, innocence and shame is an Indian woman’s identity.”

    There lies the problem. It’s not just Indian women who are put on this pedestal–it’s women from all conservative and feudalistic cultures.

    Simplicity actually means simple minded, docile, unquestioning, relatively dull with no demands. It means someone who will go along with her ‘superiors’ (i e, the elder men in her household) and agree with whatever decisions are made for her. How is simplicity, in any way, a positive attribute?

    Innocent is a word that’s often used as a euphemism to mean ‘naive to the point of idiocy.’ Also basically means that innocence = no clue about sex until the first night of marriage.

    Shame is a method of control. Feudalistic/conservative societies maintain that that the worst possible thing for a woman to do is to shame herself or her family [basically, elder male relatives].

    Looks like the poet’s ‘Ideal Indian Woman’ has a) become more financially independent b) discarded traditional feudalistic values that have held her back into a lower position in society c) become more assertive and d) become more independent. All in all, it means society is changing and there’s nothing people like this poet can do about it.

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  5. Weird sexist poem. Going by the poets rationale, one can conclude that all the great women and men of this world were born to saree, mangalsutra and bindi wearing women! Was Che Guevara’s mother Indian by any chance ? I am no proponent of aping the West. But the poet clearly equates wearing western clothing to abandoning Indian values. What about Ancient India, when women used to flit by wearing a blouse, a skirt and an angavastram ?

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    • I suspect that the poet would not approve of Che’s revolutionary ways.

      Che did not seek his mother’s blessings and permission before embarking on his epic journeys, did he?

      See! Bad, bad Che.

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    • Let me clarify here that women in ancient India wore nothing like a proper blouse- it was called a kanchuki, and was similar to a strapless, shoulder-less tie-back bikini top. An angavastram and a lower garment completed the attire. One has to only look at the various carvings in old temples to see this. In some societies it was OK to be dressed like this, but the face needed to be covered- under the purdah system.

      Completely covering the body, BTW, is due to a western influence- made popular by the British with their Victorian mores- enter the blouse/ shirt.

      Why don’t people making such claims to Indian-ness study some history?

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  6. “Simplicity, innocence and shame is an Indian woman’s identity.
    Do not reject them, these are our country’s self respect!”

    And I always thought a Nation’s self-respect lay in being able to give its women equal rights, freedom and a secure society to live in and not in its women being “simple” and “innocent”.
    How very remiss of me!

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  7. IHM, also note that the great leaders are only Netaji and Bhagat Singh (these leaders endorsed violence acc. to most ppl ascribing to such view/mindset) and not MK Gandhi who is abused openly. The poets are not old people but young chaps, the amount of anti-muslim and anti-women(subtly like this one) content on these forums is alarming.
    The most ridiculous part is that they have zero knowledge of history,people and culture of India through the ages and these misinformed/delusional chaps appoint themselves as custodians of Indian culture.

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  8. What is this adarsh business? I live the life I want to live, and I give a damn if others have nothing else to do but gossip about my lifestyle and how I wish to live my life. One woman’s panacea can be another woman’s poison.

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  9. I find the entire poem pretty annoying. This line particularly made me seethe with rage.

    सादगी, भोलापन और शर्म ही भारतीय
    स्त्री की पहचान है,
    Simplicity, innocence and shame is an Indian woman’s identity

    BTW, doesn’t शर्म here in this context mean bashfulness or coyness and not necessarily shame?

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    • Change Bashfulness is connected with honor and shame too, a woman is bashful would be too ashamed to interfere in her parents’ plans to get her married. If a woman can be shamed or if she is shy, she is easier to control.

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  10. I love how the poem grants permission to use the nose-pin to enhance the beauty of the nose but looks down upon lipstick being used to enhance the beauty of the lips.

    I just laughed at the poem and the poet, who I guess was born in 1900 (very bad of me. Adarsh Indian women should never disagree with, much less, laugh at their elders).

    If people are sharing this on FB, it will be a good warning beacon for single women to avoid marrying into the families these people belong to😉.

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      • hmmm true what you have said .. but then on other side being NOT so simple and NOT so innocent also has its own problems .. As I am finding and as all those who commented with their stories …

        Wont it be better to just be human and treat other humans as you yourself want to be treated .. as they say in punjabi

        JI KAHO — JI KAHAO…

        Say JI – Get said JI ( i know stupid translation, but i hope you know what i mean)

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      • @Bikram, am sorry to be replying on my own comment. Cannot find a reply tab under your comment🙂

        Equally pertinent is your observation too, that one should just treat others as human. The problem of course, is that not many do, neither men nor women, really. The few who do, and I have felt that they do not constitute a majority anyway, are bold enough to take that stand, no matter what the conventions or the notions held by society🙂

        And from there comes that requirement of NOT being either innocent or simple! And one gets taken for a ride, and all the trouble that comes with it! Have been reading your comments not just here, but in several places and have found your perspectives very humane🙂 So have linked your name to a recent write on my blog too🙂 And best wishes for being able to resolve the issue you spoke of at your blog!

        Yes, I think I got that JI thing🙂 The give and take!! Is that it?

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      • Yeah you got the Ji part right.

        And thank you so much for thinking that way of me , although a lot will say otherwise🙂

        I try to do what I think is right.. rest doesnot bother me🙂

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  11. There are countless men AND women who have the same view as what the poem says. Generally it appears to skirt the issue of leaving our traditional Indian cultural values and social norms and adopting something alien.
    Good or bad, one cannot say…that would be judged maybe generations ahead; but it is a point of view; and everyone has the right to express it. It has been brought out in an interesting and readable manner…
    I think writers should judge other writers by the intensity of thought and the art of expression of that thought without judging
    It is definitely a well written poem.

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    • Reikidoc, we are not judging the poet. We are critiquing the poem itself. It’s a well-rhyming poem with good use of Hindi words, no doubt. But the message it conveys is what we have a problem with. Everybody, has the right to critique a piece of art just the way everyone has the right to rate restaurants. Having the ability to cook does not give one the responsibility to give 5-stars to all restaurants.

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      • @STF…..The writer has expressed AN opinion….it is his/her view. It may not match with yours ….it may not match with 99 % ..but it is a view. So does it make it eligible to be flogged?
        Relate it to the recent Salman Rushdie fiasco… whose side were you on? whichever side it was, felt that their view is the correct view :)…but the book is a well written piece of literature (notwithstanding the fact that not many of those taking sides may not have read) – which is what I tried to say without taking sides- that this poem is well written.
        If someone likes it – say it….if not, then let it pass🙂

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  12. *** आदर्श भारतीय नारी (??) ***
    *** Ideal Indian woman (??)***

    सर पे सिंदूर का “फैशन” नहीं है,
    -> सिन्दूर करने या नही करने से क्या फरक पडेगा… मुझे बताओ…

    गले मे मंगलसूत्र का “टेंशन” नहीं है !
    -> आदमी ने तो मंगलसुत्र कभी पह्ना ही नही हैं तो क्या आदमी कभी आदर्श था ही नही और हैं भी नही?

    माथे पे बिंदी लगाना “आउटडेटेड” लगती है,
    -> जिस आदमी को लगत हैं कि बिन्दी लगाना “कुल” हैं वोह खूद अपने सर पे बिन्दी लगा सकता हैं ना?

    तरह तरह की लिपस्टिक अब होंठो पे सजती है !
    -> लड़कियो/औरतो को खुद बिन्दी लगाना अगर अच्छा लगता हैं और जहाँ तक मेरा खयाल हैं तब तक लगभग सभी आदमियोंको भी ये अच्छा लगेगा कि उसकी बीवी या girlfriend लिपस्टिक लगाए. अगर तुम्हे खुद लिपस्टिक लगाना पसंद नही हैं तो तुम मत लगाओं… कभी कोइ लड़कीने ने तो कोइ कविता नही लिखी कि jeans आदमी पे सजता हैं या नही सजता हैं.

    आँखों में काजल और मस्कारा लगाती हैं,
    -> आँखों में काजल और मस्कारा तो छोटे बच्चे कोइ भी लगाते हैं. क्या वो सुन्दर नही लगते? और लड्की लगाए तो वोह आदर्श नही हैं… क्या बात हैं भाई… आदर्शत की आपकी व्याख्या भी क्या खुब हैं! लड़कियोको सुन्दर दिखने के लिए आन्खोंमे क्या लगाना चाहिए वोह भी आप ही बताओगे क्या? कभी कोइ लड्की या औरतने आपको ऐसा कहा की आप आँख पे चश्मा लगाओं या फिर गोगल्स लगाओं या ना लगाओं?

    नकली पलकों से आँखो को खूब सजाती हैं !
    -> उसकी पलके नकली हैं तो तुम अपने असली शरीर पे गर्व करो. और अच्छे कपड़े जो सचमे आपकी व्याख्या मे नकली चीज होनी चाहिए उसको छोडके फटे पूराने “असली” कपड़े पहेना करो.

    मूख ऐसा रंग लेती हैं की दूर से चमकता है,
    -> तो उससे आपके चेहरे की रोनक को तो कोइ नुक्सान नही हैं ना? आप बस इतना ख्याल रखो की रोज नहाओ और नाक और चेहरा ठीक से साफ किया करो… दुनिया पे बडा उपकार रहेगा.

    पर्फ्यूम इतना तेज की मीलों से महकता है !
    -> तो आपको क्या किसी का बास मारता शरीर ज्यादा आकर्षक लगता हैं? पर्फ्यूम कितना तेज होना चाहिए वोह भी आप ही बताओगे क्या?

    जो नथ कभी नाक की शोभा बढाती थी,
    -> आपको अभी भी लगता हैं क़ि नथ नाक की शोभा बढाती हैं तो आप उसे क्युं नही पहेनते?

    आज होठ और जीभ पे लग नाक
    -> ओके! आपको सिर्फ नाक मे गहना “कूल” लगता हैं… होठ और जीभ पे नही… आपको पसंद नही हैं तो मत लगाओं… आप औरो को या अपने आसपास क़ि औरतो को क्या लगाना चाहिए ये क्यु बताते हो?

    बालों की “स्टाइल” जाने कैसी –
    कैसी हो गयी,
    वो बलखाती लंबी चोटी ना जाने
    कहाँ खो गयी !
    -> आप सर टकला रखते हो क्या? नही ना? आप अपनी हैर स्टाइल भी खुद ही चुने और दुसरोकी भी… आप अपनी बाल खुद की पसंद की हुइ “स्टाइल” मे रखना हैं और दुसरो की चोइस पर भी अंकुश करना हैं?

    और परिधान तो ऐसे “डिज़ाइन” में आये हैं,
    -> आप धोती-कुर्ता पहेनते हो क्या? आप खुद्के लिए खुदको अच्छा और आकर्षक दिखाने वाले कपड़े पहेनते हो ना?

    कम से कम पहनना इन्हें खूब भाये है !
    -> आप अपना सर, हाथ, पैर और पुरा शरीर ढक जाए ऐसे कपड़े पहेनते हो?

    आज अंग प्रदर्शन
    करना मजबूरी सी लगती है,
    -> इसको पसंद बोलते हैं, मजबूरी नही. लड़के अपनी छाती और कसरत कीये हुए हाथ दिखाएं तो आपको ऐतराज़ नही होगा… सही ना? हाँ… लड़कियों को ऐसा नही करना चाहिए… लड़को के लिए सब सही हैं… ऐसा ना?

    सोचती है इसी मे
    इनकी खूबसूरती झलकती है !
    -> आपके आसपास वाले ९९ प्रतिशत लड़के भी शायद यही सोचते हैं… कभी उससे पुछ्के देखिए…

    पर आज भी जब कोई भारतीय परिधान
    पहनती है,
    सच बताऊं सभी की आँखे उस पे ही अटकत हैं !
    -> मतलब आप लड़कियो को और औरतो को घूरते हैं? एक आदर्श पुरुष के नाते आपको उसपे आंखें अटकानी ही चाहिए… एक लड्की को सजने का हक नही हैं पर हर आदमी को उसपे आंखें अटकाने का हक हैं… कभी अपने आसपासकी लड़कियों से पुछा की आप जैसे पुरुषोकी नजर उसपे अटकती हैं तो उसे कैसा लगता हैं?

    सादगी, भोलापन और शर्म ही भारतीय स्त्री की पहचान है,
    -> और भारतीय पुरुषो की क्या पहचान हैं? आप भारतीय पुरुषो की पहचान सुधारने के लिए क्या कर रहे हैं?

    मत त्यागो इन्हें यही हमारे देश का स्वाभिमान है !
    -> हाँ! देश का स्वाभिमान लड़कियों को अंकुश मे रख्ने से और उसको बडे कपड़े पह्नाने मे ही हैं!

    यदि अब भी हम सोच रहे है कि ये आने
    वाली माताएं हमारी आने वाली पीढ़ी में
    ‘भगत सिंह या नेताजी’ पैदा करेंगी, तो हम
    गलत सोच रहे हैं,
    -> आप तो ज्योतिष भी लग रहे हो…

    पश्चिम की नक़ल करते
    करते हम पूरी तरह अंधे हो चुके है……
    -> जरा अपनी कमरसे नीचे देखिए… आपने धोती नही पहेनी हैं… जो पहेना हैं वोह भी पश्चिम की नक़ल ही हैं…

    जो अब लाइलाज बीमारी का रूप ले चुकी है……!!
    -> बिमार तो वो पुरुष लगते हैं जो लड़कियो को संस्कृति के नाम पे अंकुश करने मे लगे हैं…

    ॥ ईश्वर इन्हे सद्बुद्धि दे ॥
    -> और ये कविता लिखने वाले को भी!

    जय हिन्द, जय भारत !!
    -> आपने खुद देश के लिए क्या किया हैं? जय हिन्द, जय भारत बोलनेसे ही हम आदर्श हो जाते हैं क्या?

    कभी आप आदर्श भारतीय पुरुष के बारे मे कविता लिखे तो मुझे जरूर बताइएगा!
    धन्यवाद!
    – हरेश

    Like

  13. A woman is not supposed to feel proud about her/ cherish her career, brains, pay check, looks or even strength. Even if she has any or most of these, at home she is supposed to pretend she is nothing but a door mat. That is what the poet means by simplicity.

    Like

    • Hey A,
      Of, course a woman should definitely not feel proud about or cherish her brains, accomplishments, looks and strength because all these things make people who write poems like these very very insecure

      Like

  14. I am unable to post this comment on that blog. IHM, can you do it on my (or your :D) behalf? Is it that they are removing my comment? Or is it because my reply is long?:-/

    Like

  15. Ok. I couldn’t reply as my reply exceeded the limit of 8000 words there on Facebook. By the way, you may (better) remove my last two three small/spammy comments🙂

    Like

  16. Incidentally, my mom-in-law and me were having a similar talk today. She was lamenting the weird degree of control that Indian parents seem to expect to yield over their kids. I said, “Yeah, and then we say, Indian culture is the best.” So, she was like, ” Culture comes from living people, not dead people and outdated ideas. Whatever makes people happy should be made part of the culture.”

    Like

  17. ‘Simplicity, innocence and SHAME is an Indian woman’s identity’- Why is shame a desirable quality? First, please help me understand – Shame about what? Our existence? The air we dare breathe? That we’re human? I dont get it (scratching head in confusion)

    Like

  18. All I can say is that I am glad that (most)women do not subscribe to the poem writer’s ideas of an adarsh Indian woman! Yes, of course, some dinosaurs do exist🙂 but hopefully they will go extinct soon. That might be reason they are so frustrated by ‘today’s women’🙂

    Like

  19. That is not a poem, that is a statement.
    Words coming from a man who is disgruntled that he cannot have his own way.
    Each generation has something to look back upon as the world evolves.
    This man talks about a woman as a possession. And not only that, something that he alone gets to control.
    Where is the respect that this person is entitled to? Certainly not at the hands of this fellow.

    Like

  20. IHM, maybe one of these days you might want to write a post on how to make ourself immune to such crappy articles and how to keep calm after reading this. Every time I read something like this, my blood boils and I feel like going and banging my head somewhere.
    And even though I am not generally surrounded by morons like the person who wrote this poem(?!!) it does affect me a lot because he is generalizing the entire female population in this one image he has in his mind.
    I wonder when they will just stop talking about women and how they must behave and conduct themselves and just let them be!

    Like

  21. “Simplicity, innocence and SHAME is an Indian woman’s identity”

    Shame? Really?

    And who exactly turned these into an “Indian woman’s identity”? That person needs to be caught and made accountable for ruining the lives of tens of thousands of young girls.

    Like

  22. I love the last part “Aping anybody without thinking is not a good idea, not even one’s great great grand parents.” You hit the nail on the head.

    Like

  23. Hi IHM, Why this funny warning about stolen material before every post? Its kind of annoying😦. Also, if somebody steals your post, won’t they just remove this warning part before copy pasting the post?

    Like

  24. 100% of this guy’s idea of an Indian woman is her appearance. And how can she redeem herself? – By being pleasing to his eye ofcourse!

    I mean – it is as if the Indian woman has nothing apart from spending a lot of time LOOKING Indian. And that somehow her long plait affects her abilities to produce super awesome children!

    Like

  25. You know I’m not an Indian woman (obviously) but from what I see the proverbial Indian woman doesn’t exist. She’s a figment of Indian mens minds of what they want a wife to be or have been told she should be. I’m no expert but I have yet to see a single Indian woman that I know who would bow down to her husbands every whim all the time like I’ve heard this proverbial Indian woman does. Even my MIL doesn’t do that. Yes, she’s a bit subservient but she gives FIL a run for his money (so to speak). Uncle ji is a lazy Indian man trying to have a proverbial Indian wife but Chachi rules the roost and that is very clear to everyone but him. My husbands friends are all married but a few. None of their wives is their slaves and they don’t get to slack off and be waited on hand and foot. The few that aren’t married are also ruled by these women who don’t bow down to the men the way the men perceive they do. I hear comments all the time about how one’s wife always touches his feet – but she still works outside the home after having children. That’s just one story of many. So I laugh when I hear stories of this all-inspired Indian woman who always dresses like a perfect traditional Indian woman, who cooks whatever her husband says or does whatever he says because I know in reality Indian women rule this country. The men just don’t see it. Sure, there are tons of women who fit many of those things from the poem but I’ve yet to find one that fits them all. And I doubt there ever will be because even the most accommodating woman will find a way to gain some control over her own life and the man won’t even see it coming. That make up he says makes her glow from afar in the poem is there as a distraction. Those traditional Indian clothing are to cover flaws she doesn’t want him to comment on or provide an allure that will again distract him. At home when no one is looking, she has all the control in the world. Men are just clueless.

    Like

  26. The poem seems to be written by someone who cannot deal with an independent woman or the rapid changes in society. That is why he (I’m assuming it’s a he) sounds as if he is longing for some idealized time in in the past. What I found more disturbing when I followed your link to FB was that it was some kind of club which says “muslims and congressi banned”. So racist as well as sexist! Disgusting!

    Like

  27. हे नर , क्यों आज भी इतने कमजोर हो तुम

    क्यों आज भी इतने कमजोर हो तुम
    कि नारी को हथियार बना कर
    अपने आपसी द्वेषो को निपटाते हो
    क्यों आज भी इतने निर्बल हो तुम
    कि नारी शरीर कि
    संरचना को बखाने बिना
    साहित्यकार नहीं समझे जाते हो
    तुम लिखो तो जागरूक हो तुम
    वह लिखे तो बेशर्म औरत कहते हो
    तुम सड़को को सार्वजनिक शौचालय
    बनाओ तो जरुरत तुम्हारी है
    वह फैशन वीक मे काम करे
    तो नंगी नाच रही है
    तुम्हारी तारीफ हो तो
    तुम तारीफ के काबिल हो
    उसकी तारीफ हो तो
    वह “औरत” की तारीफ है
    तुम करो तो बलात्कार भी “काम” है
    वह वेश्या बने तो बदनाम है

    हे नर
    क्यों आज भी इतने कमजोर हो तुम

    There are hundreds of such blog in the hindi blogging where such poems / articles are written as you have translated and I wrote my above response to all such things .

    Like

  28. The attitide is sickening. Amongst other things, the sajna sawarna part to look Indian and beautiful all the time is so stressful…anyone who has been through this ordeal will understand. Why is it so difficult for such men and women to understand that we do know dressing up in saree etc. makes us look beautiful. its just that we may not WANT to look beautiful and ‘Indian’ all the….or are our wants of least importance to such people..
    Interestingly, anything that supposedly makes a women look ‘hot’ and enhances her sexuality, like mascara, body piercing, lipstick, perfume etc, is a no-no for the writer!

    Like

  29. Errr….WHAT? now you tell me that I am not even a ‘adarsh bharatiya nari’ After all these years!!!

    But Mr. Poet, my passport does mention my sex as female and my nationality as Indian…so I guess I am afterall a Bharatiya Nari..and I would never want to be adarsh – who wants to be perfect anyways!!!

    I just cant believe people actually WRITE THIS on FB!! I mean..what the hell!!!

    Like

  30. IHM,

    I saw this poem in FB and just ignored as another barking of those insane dogs…..but gud you took it as a post…

    just like that…one of my class mate now linked with me in fb posted this poem in his wall…..I thought of replying back but somehow didn’t…but some of his later public posts really enraged me:

    !)Women cannot be competitive: they cannot fight, they cannot struggle. And if you find a woman somewhere who struggles and fights, who is competitive, then something of womanhood is missing in her. Physically she may be a woman, psychologically she is a man……………………………(Feb 4,2012)

    2)I would like the woman to become as feminine as possible, only then can she flower. And the man needs to be as masculine as possible, only then can he flower. When they are polar opposites, a great attraction, a great magnetism, arises between them. And when they come close, when they meet in intimacy, they bring two different worlds, two different dimensions, two different richnesses, and the meeting is a tremendous blessing, a benediction…………………… (Feb 2, 2012)

    3)Women all over the world are trying in every possible way to behave like men. They are wearing men’s clothes, smoking cigarettes like men, and whatsoever they can do. They use language like men have always used it, becoming arrogant, aggressive, losing the feminine quality. See the women of the liberation movement: they have lost something — something soft, feminine, receptive, passive, is no more there. They are aggressive, violent………..(Jan 31, 2012)

    I know these are his personal opinions but still felt ashamed that I know this person…just thought of sharing this….this kind of species still exist and sorry to say are so called highly educated and serving govt.jobs.

    MIght be I am going out of context but was unable to stop myself from sharing these posts which are again liked and applauded by many ppl.!!!!

    Like

    • Hi,

      Based on what I know of Osho, this sounds like stuff Osho would say.

      Many Osho followers believe in this ideal of the sexes being polar opposites.

      Perhaps your friend is of that category?

      Like

  31. So it’s a weird poem. But it’s dangerous to dismiss this and laugh it off – because the truth is that most men, and many women, actually feel this way. I think the regular readers of this blog need to realise that people who think like us are a minority – go look at comments on popular sites like ToI and Rediff – that is a more accurate reflection of how most people in this country think. Which is why such a poem is a cause for worry: because it propagates these regressive ideas.

    Like

  32. Funny how this author thinks that women wearing or not wearing sindoor, mangal sutra or long braids matters to a country’s self respect, but oppressing half of the population for centuries isn’t.
    Would it not be better for the country’s self respect if we produced honest, hard working, tax paying, law abiding, citizens. Would it not help if we focused on protecting the environment, combating pollution, finding cures for cancer, aids, autism, Parkinson’s, ways to reduce world hunger, stop human trafficking, saving endangered animals, combating global warming,
    Those who can do, those who cannot whine about inconsequential things to take away attention from their own shortcomings.

    There is a song from a tamil movie which kind of echo’s the authors sentiments. Its from this movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0432176/.

    Here are the first few lines, the entire lyrics can be read at http://tamillyrics.hosuronline.com/ProductsD.asp?PCat=1287&pID=5661

    “Sentamizh naattu tamizhachiye, sela udutha thayanguriye
    Sentamizh naattu tamizhachiye, sela udutha thayanguriye
    Nesavu seiyum thirunaattil, neechal udaiyil alayiriye
    Kanavan mattum kaanum azhagai, kadaigal pootu kaaturiyey ”

    The poet is asking the woman, why she refuses/ hesitates to wear a saree even though she is born as a proud tamilian
    He then accuses the woman of roaming in swim wear inspite of being in weavers country and of displaying the her beauty publicly when it should only be reserved for her husband.

    Like

    • Oh God, I know. Most Tamil movie heroes propagate such sentiments. Most of the songs and dialouges echo the view that a woman is not supposed to speak up, should clothe herself conservatively [read saree or as they say ‘Chudithar’] and respect everyone around her [irrespective of who and what they are!].

      Like

      • Oh, I agree with ya.

        Sometime ago, my brother recommended me a movie. I don’t remember the name now. I liked the movie for the most part. It was about an upstanding and smart journalist (guy) exposing corrupt politicians and all that. After I watched the movie, I told my brother that the concept of the movie was great, but I was sick of the “hero” always picking the more docile, traditional girl over the assertive, kick-ass, tomboyish girl as his love interest in every freaking movie. Also the movie didn’t pass the Bechdel test (look it up if you don’t know what it is).

        Like

      • and these same guys eve-tease the western-dressed girls who look like north indians. They stalk them home and make fun of them for being different. What’s worse is that tamil movies condone stalking a girl incessantly till she finally gives in.

        Like

  33. It’s a regressively funny poem. A majority of us think that way. If you show this poem to people on streets, you will hardly find anyone thinking that there is anything wrong in it.

    Like

  34. Even though women are constantly pushed to neatly fit into the stereotypical definition of what is feminine(decided mostly by men); stereotypical feminine traits are not as highly valued by society as stereotypical masculine traits such as self-sufficiency, achievement of wealth, influence, power, and individuality.

    People insult men by accusing them of having feminine characteristics, thus implying women are weak. The use of repulsive words like emasculate and effeminate proves how a society considers it degrading to be a woman.

    While stereotypical masculine traits tend to put men in a position of power, the stereotypical feminine traits lead to physical and emotional vulnerability of women, unhealthy obsession with personal appearance, unhealthy levels of competition among females for males, and a state of dependence.

    It’s bemuses me how many men worry and write about only about women, as if men don’t make any contribution to the society, they have no role to play and they simply can do whatever they want to do. Probably when these men see women breaking free from the mold that the society has deemed appropriate for them for a long time, they fear losing their control over women, losing their importance and privileges.

    Such men forget that institutions such as “femininity” and “masculinity” are socially constructed and their rigid and narrow definitions fail to recognize the diversity and complexity of individuals. Such strict categorization denies people their individuality, because most people don’t fit so neatly into any one category.

    Regarding the poem, the content only objectifies women. The poet largely laments the fact that women no longer dress the way he would like them to. He seems to believe that unless the women of the country are docile and passive, great Indian land wouldn’t progress. Also notice how he only thinks of women as breeders. According to this poem a woman’s worth is in her appearance, reproductive function and her ability to please men and society. How wonderful!:/

    P.S- I suggest we come up with a poem called “aadarsh bhartiya purush”. Let’s bemoan the fact how westernized our men have become.

    Like

  35. Just came across this comment on a news piece in The Hindu about Vidya Balan winning the Best Actress Award. This was the comment-
    ‘Kudos…You deserve it…A charming, smiling, respectful face, ideal woman representing a blend of modern / traditional values.’

    :p

    Like

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  37. Pingback: This has to be the Guwahati molester Amar Jyoti Kalita’s favourite song! | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  38. Pingback: He said, “You’re a very beautiful girl, but don’t wear such clothes…” | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  39. *** आदर्श भारतीय Nar (??) ***
    *** Ideal Indian Man(??)***

    सर पे pagadi का “फैशन” नहीं है,
    No turban is applied because they think it is not the fashion.

    गले मे muffler aur Janeu का “टेंशन” नहीं है !
    They want no tension of wearing Muffler and janeu

    माथे पे Tilak लगाना “आउटडेटेड” लगती है,
    They think wearing a Tika/Tilak on their forehead is outdated

    तरह तरह की Muche अब होंठो पे
    सजती है !
    Various types of Moustaches now beautify their lips

    आँखों में chasma लगाte हैं,
    They put Spectacles in eyes

    नकली lenses से आँखो को खूब सजाta हैं !
    They enhance their eyes with artificial eye lenses
    मूख ऐसा fair and handsome lagate हैं की दूर से चमकता है,

    they make their face up in ways that it glows from afar

    Aftershave इतना तेज की मीलों से महकता है !
    Aftershave so strong the air is fragrant for miles

    जो muche aur daadhi कभी mukh की शोभा बढाती थी,
    The moustache and beard which enhanced the beauty of their faces once

    आज होठ और जीभ पे लग piercing
    Is pinned on the tongue or lips now

    को ठेंगा दिखती हैं !
    And cocks a snook from there.

    बालों की “स्टाइल” जाने कैसी –
    कैसी हो गयी,
    What a variety of hair styles

    वो बलखाte लlambe baal ना जाने
    कहाँ खो गय !
    That long hairs- where is it lost?

    और परिधान तो ऐसे “डिज़ाइन” में आये हैं, jaise shorts , ganji , pauna pyjama
    And attires have come in such designs shorts , 3/4th, pants shirts

    कम से कम पहनना इन्हें खूब भाये है !
    They prefer to wear as little as possible

    आज अंग प्रदर्शन
    करना मजबूरी सी लगती है,
    They feel compelled to expose their bodies

    सोचte है इसी मे
    इनकी खूबसूरती झलकती है !
    They think that is the way to look attractive

    पर आज भी जब कोई भारतीय परिधान
    पहनतa है,
    But even today when he wears an Indian outfit like kurta , pyjama , dhoti , langot

    सच बताऊं सभी की आँखे उस पे ही अटकत हैं !
    I will tell you the truth, every eye is attracted to that!

    सादगी, भोलापन और शर्म ही भारतीय
    nar की पहचान है,
    Simplicity, innocence and shame is an Indian man’s identity

    मत त्यागो इन्हें यही हमारे देश
    का स्वाभिमान है !
    Do not reject them, these are our country’s self respect!

    यदि अब भी हम सोच रहे है कि ये आने
    वाली Pitaa हमारी आने वाली पीढ़ी में
    ‘भगत सिंह या नेताजी’ पैदा करेंगी, तो हम
    गलत सोच रहे हैं,
    If we are still thinking these future fathers in coming generations will produce Bhagat Singh or Netaji then we are thinking wrong,

    पश्चिम की नक़ल करते
    करते हम पूरी तरह अंधे हो चुके है……

    Aping the west has blinded us completely….

    जो अब
    लाइलाज बीमारी का रूप ले चुकी है……!!

    It has now become an untreatable illness….!!!
    ॥ ईश्वर इन्हे सद्बुद्धि दे ॥

    II May god give them wisdom II
    जय हिन्द, जय भारत !!

    Jai Hindi, Jai Bharat!!

    Like

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  42. Question, if there’s an ideal for indian women, where’s the ideal for the men?

    It makes sense that you’d have an ideal male in mind before creating the ideal woman. Afterall, in a patriarchal society a man comes first.
    Unless the authors of the theory realized that no man could possibly fulfill any notion of an ‘ideal’ male. So they gave up.

    You can’t even excuse them by saying that the woman has a greater influence in the house and in raising children. It’s not like the men come home once a month to drop a bag of coins on the table and then run off to live in their man-cave.

    Like

    • Aur Bhartiya kuprathayen? Bete ke janam par Kua Poojan, beti ho to sex selection, dahej, beti ko paraya dhan samajhna – yeh sab bhi Bharat ki pahchan hain? Bharat ke purush aur bachche bharat ki panchaan kyon naheen hain? Kyunki wo sare sansar ke saath chalne ka haq rakhte hain, jo bhartya nary se bhartiya samaaj cheen leta hai?

      Like

  43. Pingback: These lines sum up the biggest reason for male child preference and skewed gender ratio in India. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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  45. “Motherly, Religious and Kind is an Indian woman’s identity.”
    If any woman does not have a motherly feeling for people in her care, do not belive in god and does not respect her elders (Women & Men) and is not a kind person, than “SHE IS NOT A INDIAN WOMEN EVEN IS SHE IS BORN IN INDIA”

    Like

  46. Pingback: दुल्हन मुस्कुराई और अपने देवर का परिचय अपनी सहेलियो से करवाया… | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  47. Superb really i agree with u now aday girls are mad cant say mad but theywont to match the society so they r trying to wear all this out fit but a girl aur a lady cant be as beautiful as in saree

    Like

  48. Its things like this that make me laugh, living by societies oppressive ideals does not make you powerful. Women can wear, say, do whatever they want, whenever they want. When we stop repressing Indian women from reaching their potential, that’s when the country will thrive.

    Like

  49. Pingback: Identity | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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