Seven questions from the rapists’ point of view.

Q.1. What kind of message do you think would discourage rapists from committing a rape?

Ans. Please answer in comments, posters, links or posts.

Q. 2. And what kind of message would the rapists find confusing or even encouraging?

Ans 2. Messages like,

“A rapist is not really wrong to rape a woman if she not a ‘good’ woman?”

Or, “So if she drank Vodka, a rapist can’t really be blamed… such women deserve it… “

“Rapists are safe because even if the victim  does dare to report, the cops will silence her with their ignorance, prejudice, blaming, shaming and incompetence.”

Q. 3. What message is the Noida police sending out to other sexual assault victims?

Ans. “Don’t dare report rape and add to our work. We might break laws and reveal your identity.

Or simply, “Reporting a rape is just not worth the trauma we are capable of giving you.”

Q. 4. Do we have more rapes now, or are more rapes being reported?

Ans. I have no doubt that we are seeing more reporting of rapes, the crime was not even seen as a crime in the past. Most victims were silenced or honor killed.

Q. 5.  Would the police be relieved if victims were too ‘ashamed’ to report the crime?

Ans. I suspect the Noida Police would love to see the voices of rape victims silenced. Noida police’s biggest problem seems to be that the victims are not being seen as culprits by everybody else anymore.

Q. 6. Does a rapist see sexual assaults as dangerous crimes? Does an average rapist clearly know that raping a woman who is sleeping with more than one man is still a crime? Or that even if a woman is wearing bikini/salwar-kurta/jeans/shorts//nothing/and is drinking – raping her is still a crime?

Ans. A Delhi cop once admitted that many rapists are not aware that rape is a serious crime, they don’t hear voices clearly stating that it is wrong to molest, harass or sexually assault. Sounds unbelievable? Take a look, ‘The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and they don’t expect the victims to report them.

Hindustan Times today said the cops seem to behave like Accomplices to the crime (Read the article, it echoes our thoughts) I too feel UP cops seem to ‘understand’, justify and defend the rapists. They also seem to seriously believe that women who drink or interact with men are at risk of being raped.

Q. 7. Who do you think is thanking their stars to have to have such incompetent cops  – the victims or the rapists?

Answer – Rapists of course. But also other potential rapists and other sex offenders.

I plan to create such posters, would love it you do too! Found this one on  facebook.

1.

2.

(shared by Nish)

Related posts:

When they don’t even understand crime, how are they ever going to begin controlling it?

41 thoughts on “Seven questions from the rapists’ point of view.

      • I agree. Make a strong example of one case and everyone else will be so afraid of the punishment that it won’t happen again. And by strong example I mean – the maximum punishment, and do it quickly – fast-track it before it fades from public memory. If the law works (and it doesn’t right now), and can deliver swift and just punishment for the perpetrators, this will not happen, regardless of what society thinks. We do need to change how society treats women, but the justice system must work for it to happen.

        Like

    • What I fail to understand is that if the girl was raped by one of the accused why did she go with him again that too alone? Or was it that this guy turned up later?

      As far as your questions are concerned, well I wud seriously like to get into the mind of a rapist and know what makes them do what they do. I mean how can they think of doing something so horrible!!

      Like

      • It seems the rapist had threatened her with an MMS video he made of her when he raped her the first time. She probably did not tell her family before going, or maybe she did. The family was afraid of reporting to the police – they must have feared exactly what has happened.

        Like

  1. some time back i had written a post about how some people are not aware of their cruelty, the same logic goes here that a rapist doesnt belive that he is doing something wrong, the way the society around them behaves can make them change.. its a solvable problem

    Like

  2. Q.1. What kind of message do you think would discourage rapists from committing a rape?

    I think the whole thing needs to be looked at from a sociological point of view. It’s not just one thing that will discourage rape in society, it’s a combination of many.

    -Strict prison sentences, juvenile detention centers for those who are minors. The only way to discourage rape is to make people realize that there are consequences to their actions.

    -Better treatment and routine procedures for victims would also help in people coming forward in reporting rapes. Strict consequences for cops who do not take the crime seriously.

    -Hiring qualified police officers— make them take tests with these hypothetical situations presented before they are hired. I volunteered for the campus sexual assault and violence centre and they made very sure that the volunteers weren’t incompetent idiots before letting us take on the roles. They also made us go through training on everything — how to use non-judgmental language, what to do in case of an emergency, etc, etc. And we were just campus volunteers, not paid professionals–let alone members of the police force.

    -Increasing the pay for government officials / giving police stations bigger budgets/ rehabilitating sex offenders who are already in prison / starting national anti-rape campaigns (many more things).

    -Making sure that government officials in charge are actually dishing out tax money to the above points instead of filling their own Swiss bank accounts.

    -Encouraging people to pay for taxes by reminding them that you’re paying for the benefit of your society and not just some guy’s Swiss bank account. I do believe that I read on this site (in a comment) that Gujarati men are less ‘criminally oriented’ then men of other ethnic backgrounds simply because the worst they do is evade taxes. Hello? Evading taxes is robbing an entire society of its rights and privileges. It’s making sure that the poor remain poor and the government gets away with not providing even the most basic of facilities to those that need it the most.

    -Strict consequences for those who do hoard tax money in their Swiss bank account.

    Q. 2. And what kind of message would the rapists find confusing or even encouraging?

    Rape is a crime of passion. Women who put themselves out there are idiots who should have seen it coming.

    Q. 3. What message is the Noida police sending out to other sexual assault victims?

    Women shouldn’t report rapes because the police does not care.

    . Q. 6. Does an average rapist see sexual assaults as dangerous crimes?

    No they don’t.

    Q. 7. Who do you think is thanking their stars to have to have such incompetent cops – the victims or the rapists?

    The rapists, the politicians who stuff tax money for themselves instead of actually paying competent people to work in government offices, the ‘business men’ who get away with evading taxes by giving little bribes here and there—there’s a whole group of people that benefit from incompetent cops/government officials.

    Like

    • //Strict prison sentences, juvenile detention centers for those who are minors. The only way to discourage rape is to make people realize that there are consequences to their actions. //

      You said it, Kay!! The only way a potential rapist is going to be discouraged from
      raping someone is when he is made to understand that he cannot get away

      //Strict consequences for cops who do not take the crime seriously.//

      Absolutely.The least that should be done is to make sure that cops such as the one who revealed the name and address of the victim in flagrant violation of the Supreme Court’s directive, and that too very publicly in a press conference, are made to face the music
      I think the government also urgently needs to invest in a comprehensive gender-sensitization training for its police force, apart from punishing errant cops.

      Like

      • Thanks scribblehappy–it’s also that, to do all these things, taxes actually need to be put to good use. I think India is going through a ‘but who’s going to bell the cat’ scenario right now because how do people even begin to make sure that government officials don’t take tax payer money for themselves?

        Like

    • Rape is a crime of passion. Women who put themselves out there are idiots who should have seen it coming.

      Really? Victim blaming much? Do you know that many times it’s someone the victim knows and trusts that is the perpetrator?

      Like

  3. I think t problem is t contradiction between mediaval cultural morals promoted by religions and spiritual organisations of our Country and the modern humanist morality of our times.
    The feudal anti woman mindset is reinforced by umpteen number of spiritual gurus and clergies,
    Thus the rape victim is given more spotlight than culprits of this heinous crime.

    Like

    • I found this. Editor-in-Chief ,The Tribune, Raj Chengappa says,
      “………..the laxity of law and delay in its enforcement is emboldening rapists as never before.”

      and he says,
      “If extreme cruelty in a murder case earns the distinction of rarest of the rare category of crime to deserve capital punishment, why is it that gang rape of a woman and rape and murder do not qualify to be rarest of the rare category of crime? ”

      He further adds,

      “when top politicians begin to raise doubts about the antecedents of rape victims in public, or, escape responsibility by blaming the opposition for inciting such crimes, it emboldens the rapists. The cheap political device of feeding obsolete patriarchal beliefs, which always raise fingers at a woman’s character when she becomes a victim of rape, has as such resulted in only one in ten women ever reporting rape to the police. To top it, an insensitive police and poor conviction rates have further added to the rise in crime graph.”

      Here’s the link

      http://www.tribuneindia.com/2012/20120228/edit.htm#3

      Me – Wow!! That’s one honest voice and one that takes the crime seriously. Let me read the article.

      Like

      • Great article!
        On a slightly different note, I have a problem with the term ‘rarest of rare’. What does rarity have to do with culpability? If brutal, pre-meditated murders happen to become commonplace, will they say the murderers should not get capital punishment, because what they did is not rare?

        Like

  4. Short answers
    1) Stop blaming victims. Educate people that sometimes rape is worse than murder and that it is not just aggression against a woman’s body, but her mind and soul too.

    2) It’s definitely encouraging to know that you will not be reported for a crime, and if some idiot gathers enough courage to report it, then the police will traumatize them further by shoddy investigation and victim blaming. Ultimately after a few interviews with the cops or maybe a few trips to court one will be set free. So why bother with “being in control”.

    3) We are not public servants, even though you the taxpayers are our true employers we do not work to protect and serve you.
    Also, if you get raped outside we will say that you dressed provocatively or were drunk, if you get raped in your home, then we would say that you invited your attacker by either not locking the doors or getting doors that could be breached easily.
    Either way your rape will seem easy to have undergone, compared to how we will traumatize you.

    4) Both

    5) I think its more than that, they are surprised, no shocked that instead of being ashamed and committing suicide, these women are coming forward. After all what did the poor guy do, just rape someone.

    6) They definitely know that its wrong, they do it anyway because the victim is powerless to fight back most of the time, during and after the rape.

    7) Rapists of course, but besides being grateful, i’m sure they too laugh at the police’s incompetency.

    Like

    • //6) They definitely know that its wrong, they do it anyway because the victim is powerless to fight back most of the time, during and after the rape.//

      They know it’s not right, but they get mixed messages about the society’s the tolerance to sexual crimes. They realise that the police and the society’s shaming and blaming (and now even naming) the victim would prevent the victim from reporting thus protecting them. And if the victim does report, //Ultimately after a few interviews with the cops or maybe a few trips to court one will be set free. So why bother with “being in control”.//

      Like

  5. Q6: why ‘average’ in the question IHM?.what does it signify? I suggest to delete it. Because I think No rapist (regardless of social class, education, religion, culture..etc) see sexual assaults as dangerous crimes.

    ..sorry my comments are coming in bits and pieces

    Like

  6. I don’t understand the top right picture in the first poster. So if she was drunk, wasn’t her friend drunk as well? Are women like kids that men have to take responsibility for their well being when they are all drinking.

    Like

    • I agree, they don’t have to take responsibility for the woman’s well being, but they definitely can be responsible enough for themselves meaning to keep it zipped up.
      Also, drinking does not turn a man into a rapist in my opinion, just makes him shed his inhibitions if he had any or act as a pathetic excuse for inexcusable behavior. Millions of men drink, but don’t rape women later.

      Like

      • Well, the poster said that the woman was drunk, so I let go. Which implies that having sex with a drunk woman is rape. And having sex with a drunk man is?

        Like

      • This is in reply to “B” below.
        Sex with anyone who is drunk enough to not remember what happened or what they did or what was done to them is not a good idea. It does not matter if the drunk is a man or woman. If the other person is coherent enough to to know that the other person is drunk then that makes it rape.

        Also why would any normal person male or female want to have sex with someone who is passed out, unconscious or even stone drunk. I for one find it repulsive and creepy, isn’t this kind of behavior only a notch below what some psychopathic serial killers do, killing the victims and having sex with their dead bodies afterwards. So, consider these creeps who rape drunk people to be closet necrophiliacs.

        Like

    • B, the woman being drunk does not necessarily mean the man was drunk as well. Date rapes do happen when someone is slipped a drug in their drink and then consequently raped. The bottomline is – if you do not give your consent, it is rape. Consent needs to be explicitly sought, and explicitly communicated. If one of the party is more in their senses than the other (man or woman) they need to make sure that everything that happens is consensual throughout. Ideally, everyone makes sure they do not drink to the point of losing their senses, but even then, the onus of ensuring consent should not be upon a person who is unable to give consent.

      Like

  7. “What kind of message do you think would discourage rapists from committing a rape?”

    Unequivocal condemnation of rapists by society. Right now (unbelievably so) shame is attached to the victim. The family of the victim is also ashamed of her, of themselves and their honor that they believe is lost. But if we as a society stand as one behind the victims, but condemn the criminals outright? This is of course is apart from them getting the just punishment they deserve.

    Like

    • IHM, I’d like to add how the L & M and I had a discussion turn into an argument many years ago. We had seen a tv episode of some serial where a high-school girl is raped. Her parents had been worried and waiting for her. They understand the minute she walks in. They are stunned. But the mother rallies around, keeps talking non-stop, saying she is going to wash away all that dirt from her daughter. She makes her daughter go through a ritualistic bath and keeps repeating to her that the dirt is all washed off and she is pure again.
      What the mother did might be debatable (the family shown is very traditional), but in one way it looked like the mother was trying to help the girl the only way she knew in a rigid society such as ours, trying to make her feel she is “not dirty” any more. It could also be that she was doing it for her own conviction. But I’d like ot think she was helping her child.
      Anyways, after watching it the L & M remarked, “as if the bath would purify her!” Alarm bells started ringing as loud as fire engine alarms for me. I argued for the rape victim. WHAT the hell was there to “purify”? All this nonsense of a girls being “spoiled” after a rape and being ostracised in movies and real life has had a very wrong influence on all.
      So the L & M listened to my spirited arguments (Isn’t it the rapist who should be shamed by society? Isn’t he the criminal? What wrong has the victim done? I have never understood this cross-eyed attitude of society) he asked me, if I would let my son marry a rape victim..My answer, “Why not?” Of course it is up to my children to decide who they marry, but if that is his decision, why-ever-not? He of course did not believe me and thought it was the most preposterous answer. Times have changed and his outlook also has🙂 BTW, the son was not even one year old when this happened😉

      Like

      • Why would a woman get dirty. Sex is a natural function for human beings. I just don’t understand this attitude in our society. It has to do with looking at women as some preserved sexual object that have to be opened and used on wedding day. It is disgusting. May be if we do not think of women having sex a big deal, the rape victims themselves will not go through so much as they have to in current circumstances.

        I have a little daughter. When she grows up, I would have no problem with her enjoying safe sex with people she trusts, before her wedding. Getting married at a young age is not very practical these days, and withholding all sex till then does not make sense. My wife looks with horror at me when I express such ideas.

        Like

  8. It seems to me that young men (or most people–this includes women too) are clueless about what really constitutes rape.

    I would like to see how people answer to this poll.

    Can a victim of rape ever be blamed for the perpetrators’ actions?

    a. Yes, if she was wearing revealing clothing

    b. Yes, if she was drunk and flirting with the perpetrator

    c. Yes, if she got in to bed with the perpetrator

    d. No, but women should still take care to dress modestly

    e. No, there is never any situation where blame can be apportioned to the victim

    (Poll from toytowngermany.com) There is only one right answer (e). Yes, it’s that simple.

    And we desperately need a campaign like “no means no” or even better something that stresses enthusiastic consent for having sex with someone (an incapacitated person can’t say “no” and the default shouldn’t be a “yes”). The consent should be given right before the act, not an hour or a day before.

    Like

  9. Pingback: Oops She Did It Again | Scribblehappy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s