“The rape victim had gone there willingly. She was not lured into it. They drank vodka.”

The Kolkotta police had suspected a car rape victim’s story and blamed her for going to a night club (read more here). Now Noida police puts the blame on a class X student raped by five men in their twenties, in a car that belonged to one of them.

And worse,

“In violation of a Supreme Court order regarding disclosure of identity of rape victims, the press release issued by the Noida police gives details of a 17 year old victim including her name and address.” [Read more.]
Although the press release quoted the victim saying she was lured into it, and forced to drink, the Noida police claims,

“She had gone there willingly… She was not lured into it… They drank vodka,” said Ananth Dev Tiwari, Superintendent of Police, Noida.

There are court directions which say the victims’ statement should be taken at face value till the trial proves otherwise. [ NDTV article here.]

Why did a police officer break the law?

I wonder if he was hoping that if she could be proven suspected to have gone willingly, and drinking vodka, she would not get as much sympathy. And perhaps then Noida police would not be held responsible for not creating an environment that discourages sexual assaults? Or maybe he genuinely believed that the teenager deserved to be raped by five men because she knew one of them and went to his birthday party (where others were already present)?

Is it difficult to believe when the family says they did not report an earlier rape by the main accused an year ago, after which, they allege, he threatened the minor with an MMS clip?

Why does it look like the police has no idea that they are paid, trained and employed for protecting the victims and for controlling crimes and that can’t be achieved if the victims are afraid to report crimes?

73 thoughts on ““The rape victim had gone there willingly. She was not lured into it. They drank vodka.”

  1. I expected this post from you as soon as I saw the news report this morning.
    It is becoming a sickening pattern.
    I think it is high time slogans clearly driving home a message that a girl is not responsible for her rape even if she drinks or is of “loose” character.
    Like “Hum Do Hamaare do” or “Jai Jawan Jai Kisan” etc a suitable slogan needs to be composed, and plastered all over the country to drill this message into the minds of the police, and general public.

    Of course this should be IN ADDITION to other measures like strict punishment for the offenders. In this case they have all been caught and it should be an easy conviction.
    I hope money power does not dilute this case.

    (First again? Believe me again, I am not trying. If I am, I deserve a special pat. I have been fair. This is not a two word comment)


  2. I read this in the morning paper. I think there are many factors which lead police officers to behave in this manner–one of the main things being there’s a huge discrepancy between the people who live in cities like Noida and Gurgaon, and the locals who work as police officers–who probably come from much more conservative and feudalistic backgrounds where women are seen as property. The attitude in feudalistic cultures seems to be “women who are dumb/slutty/immoral enough to drink alcohol/date/wear western clothing deserve to be raped/killed/discarded” because “that’s what men are naturally inclined to do if an opportunity presents itself.” In this mindset, women = property = virgins who should be put on pedestals or whores who should be raped and killed. Men = violent beings who cannot control themselves and therefore, cannot be held accountable for their actions.

    Qualifications and salaries factor into it too: In India, generally, people don’t seem to be well paid for the jobs they’re doing–whether it’s an IIM grad with an MBA or whether it’s a police officer. I’m guessing that a police officer wouldn’t get paid well at all, and therefore, the qualifications required to be a police officer would be dismal. And somehow, the government isn’t held accountable for using tax money to hire half-baked people who are responsible for protecting fellow citizens’ lives.

    Then there’s also a complete lack of consequences–you can pretty much get away with anything as long as the victim is not important enough (or less important than you). The cops themselves were victims in the region when the dude in the BMW ran over and killed 7 of them–he didn’t even have to go to jail, let alone face the consequences of his actions. The general attitude about the incident seems to be ‘oh well, that’s India for you.’


    • In this instance however, the victim and perpetrators were both from non-middle-class families and had a semi-urban socio-economic profile.

      I read an extremely insightful article two years ago in the Times of India about how globalisation is making women more trusting and open to interactions with men.

      However, the article said, many women do not realise that men are not similarly impacted by Western mores.

      They interpret Western mores to mean sexual license — freedom without responsibility.

      So women’s signals are misinterpreted — a girl’s offer of friendship may be misconstrued as an offer of sex.


  3. This is doubly worrying. First, it’s worrying that the police choose to cast doubt on the explanations of the victim.

    Secondly, and in my opinion much worse: it should not matter. Even if a woman goes to some place willingly, and willingly consumes stupendous amounts of vodka, *then* decides to remove all her clothing, even then, this is zero excuse for molesting or raping her.

    Respect for women should not depend on their state of intoxication or dress. A woman that is neither clothed nor sober, deserves exactly the same respect as a woman who is both.


  4. I don’t care what background these police men come from or what kind of mind set they have. High time we stopped trying to understand them and excuse them. We have laws in this country, but we have a police force that is unwilling to educate themselves on the laws they have to enforce. So why are they being paid salaries for it? We need a policy that specifies these two things
    No work, no pay.
    If you err, you get sacked.

    It is not hard – corporates do it, and hence no corporate worker gets caught committing such blunders.


    • I think the movie called “The Accused” (1988) [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Accused_(1988_film) ]should be mandatory watching for everyone involved in administering justice for rape cases. Jodie Foster’s performance here showcases a young woman gangraped who herself becomes “the accused” when conservative US society says she “brought it upon herself”.

      Someone should remake this film for Indian audiences.


    • I hear you Ritu. I strongly believe it’s time we revamped (and if it means sending the entire force — including all the high-ups who make the controversial public statements — back to school, or firing those too rigid in their current beliefs, so be it) the Police to be more sensitive to victims. They need to be accountable, with every infarction by a policeman punished more severely than the average citizen.


    • Yes, but Rituji, how many of us (who are from the educated ‘priveleged’ strata of society) have had a positive experience with the police?

      I dread any encounter with the police, even the traffic police.

      As a middle-class, educated woman who speaks broken Kannada (in Bangalore), I am a sitting duck.

      How many women have received respectful treatment when they’ve finally mustered the courage to go to the cops?

      I have had better luck in Mumbai, perhaps because I speak fluent Marathi and perhaps because the Mumbai mama is not as intimidating as the cops in Bangalore or Delhi.


  5. Clear case of the police washing its hands off any kind of responsibility, thats what it seems to me… put the blame on the girl, how convenient and easy, isnt it?? Its disgusting!


  6. It is always disgusting to read all this attitude where the rape victim is always the one blamed
    But I also many a times have a debate within myself that what provokes these young school going kids { GIRLS } to go out all alone with a group of boys .
    Such groups of boys who move in cars , who drink are always known in the neighbourhood , vicinity then where is the need to mingle with such a group
    My comment is not pertaining to one such incident of your post its in larger context .
    Which ever class the parents belong to I think all this should be a wake up call for them because if a class 8th or 10 th or 12th girl is experimenting drinks / smoking / drugs , is going around alone with a group of boys CAN we really say she is unaware to the risk she is putting her self in ??

    sometimes i also wonder as i was doing today if the rape victims identity has to be kept in wraps then the identity of the rapist boys should also be kept in wraps till the time the court case is pending . The also have a family which is being victimised

    Primarily the problem is that in indian culture the drinks , smoke and sex is still a taboo for kids whether boys or girls . so if they are experimenting such things then they need to be prepared for the aftermath which OUR SOCIETY IS NOT


    • Rachna the girl knew one of the boys and he asked her to come to his house because it was his birthday, when she reached there it seems she found four more men waiting. She says she was forced to drink.

      These are men in their twenties, and one of them her mother said, had raped her last year and made an MMS clip, which he used to blackmail her with this time. These men are aware that the girl was likely to pay a much bigger price if she complains, whether or not they are convicted.

      The girl is also (I read in another article she is 15, not 17, but not sure) much younger than the rapists.

      From what she has said, she was not a regular drinker, these men forced her. About the rape the first time – an year ago, I read that she told her mother but her father wasn’t home at the time so the mother did not report the crime. She must have feared something like what has happened now might happen. 😐


      • i know the facts what i am talking about is why are parents not grooming the children to understand the repurcussions
        if the poor child was raped before i think going to a bday party of that gang is not acceptable
        did she went with permission of her parents or without
        IHM you know i myself is pro woman clauses but somewhere there are some loops
        precautions and preventions we all take before venturing into a crowd and same we guide our non adult children


      • It shouldn’t matter if she was a regular drinker, or if she went to the party of her own accord. Rape is still rape.

        The “morals” of our society are such that law-breakers (like the alleged rapist who threatened the girl with the MMS clip) not only get their due punishment, they have the upper hand in tormenting the victim after the crime. Heinous.

        Chemical castration is a good punishment for these above-the-law thugs who think they can rape anyone and get away with it. We don’t argue that “tainting a girl’s reputation” and all the torment and abuse by society that comes with it is inhuman, then why do we argue against chemical castration, stating that it is inhuman? We know that these rapists know the existing (sad) state of society and law, and use it to their benefit. Why the unfair support for the criminals?


      • Replying to Rachna here:

        Rachnaji, this is a 15-year-old girl. It is IMPOSSIBLE to shield one’s daughter from every possibility of sexual assault and rape ALL the time.

        The only way you can ensure that is by locking a girl up and forbidding all contact with the opposite sex.

        Many Indian families use this approach even now — young girls are not allowed to talk, let alone go out with men and boys.

        Has that protected women and girls from being raped? What should the mother have done? Placed her daughter under house arrest?

        She was FORCED to drink. She was raped earlier and the MMS was used to blackmail her into compliance. She is 15 years old. She probably went because she was so frightened she wasn’t thinking straight (and was threatened with blackmail).

        You say you know the facts. Yet you still blame her and her family? You and I can be raped in our homes by men we know — the gardner, the plumber, a male relative.

        You do know what society will say then, don’t you? Rape is NEVER a woman’s fault.


    • I’m assuming that the girl trusted him. She is after all only going to a birthday party.

      Primarily the problem is that in indian culture the drinks , smoke and sex is still a taboo for kids whether boys or girls . so if they are experimenting such things then they need to be prepared for the aftermath which OUR SOCIETY IS NOT

      This. We believe that as long as we don’t talk about it, it doesn’t happen to us or our kids. So it’s a taboo to even bring up the topic of drinking and drugs (leave alone sex) with our teenage children. We protest against sex education in schools. “My son would never do something like that. That whore (is that too strong a word for this blog?) of a girl threw herself on him. My son is the real victim here.” It’s not just the parents, pretty much the whole society thinks this way.

      I don’t know how the police system works in India. Don’t they have to take some sort of training about how to treat people wanting to file FIRs, etc.? And what’s this with taking all the written exams (multiple choice or whatever) and rote learning for any sort of admission test? Gaaah… I have so low an opinion of our police that I need some real good news stories about upstanding cops to make me even a little bit optimistic about the future. IHM should be required reading for all cops.


      • I agree with Rachna on this, firstly no matter how long i have known a guy or trust him a lot, i would NEVER go out with just a bunch of guys alone anywhere. Not only would it make me uncomfortable but knowing the kind of mindset that exists in our society and how guys take it for granted that if a girl is drinking with them it means she is ‘loose’, i will refuse such an invitation from my guy friends. Prevention is always better than cure, when i am aware of such incidents why would i want to as they say in hindi, apne pair mein kuladhi maarna. I have many times before refused to travel with my guy friends in their cars. Call me paranoid, but i am just not willing to take the risk.
        Secondly, the mother says that the girl was raped before by one of the guys before now just WHY the hell would she go again with that same guy alongwith a bunch of other guys to somebodys birthday party. Her logic completely defies me. More so her mothers, how could she allow her daughter to out with guys among whom is the guy whom she claims raped her daughter before. That is just BIZARRE! i may sound too simplistic and naive, but this is one aspect which baffles me and to be honest she was asking for it. And the mistake that she did was that she should have informed the police about her rape before. Her father said that he will stand by his daughter always and that the society always blames the girl, what about his stand earlier? I would rather look into the case where a 6 yr old girl was raped, burnt and left to die which is absolutely heinous to say the least. http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/NewDelhi/6-yr-old-raped-burnt-and-left-to-die/Article1-818137.aspx


      • anubhasarkar,

        No one asks to be raped. I used to go around with a bunch of guys during my college days, and I have never been raped. I used to drink, and have all the fun, and nothing was ever done to me. I never thought that by doing so I was inviting trouble. I do take some basic precautions but that should not prevent me from enjoying myself just because I am a woman. As far as I know that girl actually went to the rapist’s party without knowing so many other guys would be there.

        It is with these ideals that womanhood has always been suppressed in this country. Not allowing girls to go out after nightfall, because some boys will whistle at her, not allowing women to work late, because it’s too dangerous to return. I would advise you to be sensible, and not worry too much about being raped. Not every guy is a rapist either.

        Also, it should not matter what people think of you. If you are satisfied with your conscience, and you are happy in what you are doing, and you can look in the mirror at your face the next morning, you are doing nothing wrong. The losers can think what they want. You don’t want friendship with people who think you are “loose” just because you had a drink, do you?


      • There’s stigma attached to women enjoying themselves by partying, drinking or (horror!) consensual sex. Fear of assault shouldn’t stop women from having a fun (and meaningful) life.

        We don’t blame the victim when it’s a man that got mugged or beaten to within an inch of his life. Why blame the rape victim then? Just because she is not physically strong enough and most likely not be able to defend herself, she can’t go out after dark?

        I’m not saying that women shouldn’t take precautions. We need to have a society when these precautions are no longer necessary. That doesn’t happen by being quiet and ignoring the problem (or worse condemning and shaming the victim).

        …to be honest she was asking for it. And the mistake that she did was that she should have informed the police about her rape before.

        Oh, just stop with the victim blaming “asking for it” How? Just because she went out to a birthday party?

        And it’s easy to stand at the pulpit and preach what she should or shouldn’t do. With all the victim-blaming and “purity” nonsense, the system doesn’t give a safe way for the victim to file a case without the shame and further trauma because of dealing with the cluelessly insensitive police.

        I would rather look into the case where a 6 yr old girl was raped, burnt and left to die which is absolutely heinous to say the least.

        Yes that’s horrible (worse than this case). If you think your attention and efforts are needed more there, that’s all fine. If others think that they would rather look into this case of a girl gang-raped by four men, that’s totally fine too.


      • Infact, I take offense to the statement “no matter how long i have known a guy or trust him a lot”.. I mean I (or people like me) would really feel bad and think – what you don’t trust me even now! This is just to make a point. And it would be very subjective too. The important thing is that there has been many times in college (IITs) and office friends & photography tours (among strange people sharing just photography as a common interest) where the a lone girl who is our good friend been part of the excursion taken. We drive way out of the city and party and come home. Infact, having girl on board puts additional responsibility on the male group (to make her comfortable in the group, sitting space, separate stay if camping overnite, etc).. But our friend would enjoy as much as we would with her. My sister in pune had gone on numerous trips with her class friends all alone, even staying overnight! All boys except her, known them through her NIT!

        Yes, I also know of girls who booze, smoke and therefore very broad-minded and easy to mix and talk and had joined our photography tours all alone. No harm intended and we had all very very good time. At IIT- single girl was part of the group of boys who went for a mountaineering expedition to Himalayas together. Honestly, I had a hard digesting that time, but when I look back (after i grew up in my ideals (I came from a small town :)) I was very very comfortable.

        I also think lots of expedition to Alaska, Himalayas, (NASA, you routinely hear) are often a group of males with a single women in the group. You can easily find this on National Geographic.

        So, it is very very wrong to say : “SHE INVITED IT ON HERSELF”. If I were to make a very crude statement even if a girl choses to parade naked on the road, no one still has right to rape her!

        The important thing all of us need to understand is to “Respect women / womanhood”. Most of the boys I have known at all ages – immediately change their stance when they know that a specific girl in the gang/class/group etc happens to be a sister of one of colleagues, they immediately tone down their teasing or the language they use. Else they are in full flow. That respect the society (thankfully) still seems to have for mothers & sisters, so be there for any girl per se! Only then I believe things will change !


      • Replying to Anubha Sarkar here:

        I have pasted Martin Niemoller’s quote about the Nazis here.

        I have done so because I want you to understand that when you blame a rape victim, you contribute to rape culture.

        In rape culture, ALL rape victims are blamed, past, present and future.

        So when you or someone close to you is raped, you discover that other people blame you just as you blamed another rape victim earlier.

        First they came for the communists,
        and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.

        Then they came for the trade unionists,
        and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

        Then they came for the Jews,
        and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.

        Then they came for me
        and there was no one left to speak out for me.

        If we condone rapes and say that “she was asking for it” then who’ll protect us when we are blamed for “asking for it”?


    • replying to Biwo here

      Do we know the difference between GOONS and Friends
      Every where there is a known set of goons and any person becomes friends withthem and parties with them is responsible for themselfs
      There was a murder of a young kid { boy } in vasant kunj he was also 17
      He was a also coming from a drink party
      The difference in a boy being friends with goons and a girl being friends with goons is just one boys loose life and girls are victim of rape

      I have not said the victim is responsible for her circumstances I have merely said that she should have been groomed to distinguish between goons and friends


      • Rachna,, we do not even know exactly what happened, but we are already pointing fingers at the victim’s personal habits and social life. Little girls grow up hearing about rape victims who should have not done something or the other to prevent the rape – like this girl, they blame themselves for being raped. Their parents have similar fears – which is why we have cases of rapists making video films and blackmailing the victims – who are too afraid to report.
        The biggest support for rapists is the criticism that the victim faces.

        Take a look at any rape case, except when it is a baby, the victim is blamed (and shamed), in case of babies sometimes parents are blamed. Even eleven year olds are blamed and stigmatized. If we can’t help the victim I think we can atleast let it be known that we do not judge her either – and that too without knowing the facts.

        The police is saying all that they are saying (unproven allegations) perhaps out of a social habit (everybody blames the victim – why should they not?) – or maybe so that it looks like the girl (and her family) was somehow responsible for her rape.

        //any person becomes friends with them and parties with them is responsible for themselves//
        People can make bad judgment (if at all) – if there was no stigma of having made a bad judgment , if the reactions are supportive they might find it easier to take action against the criminal, which would make it easier for rapists to be punished and set a good precedence for potential rapists.


    • Reply to Anil

      Every time a girl goes out there is need to be esorted and as you say the male friends willingly fill in the gap
      Now the girl is the judge to distinguish a male as a friend or a male as a male
      I dont think any girl in IIT would blindly trust a male classmate and classify him as a friend .
      I friend has no GENDER and when that happens the trust is there

      Now Anil
      I want to know have you never come accross a situation where you yourself warned
      your female classmate { consider her friend } to keep away from a certain gang .


    • Reply to AnuBhaskar

      You are right and thanks for understanding my point of view

      I am not talking of victim being vicitimized I am talking about grooming our children both girls and boys to be able to distinguish between goons and friends


    • Here I have to agree partly with Rachna and anubha.
      Let me clarify here that I strongly advocate giving the maximum punishment possible for rapists and should do everything possible from our sides to prevent such incidents.

      Saying this, I dont understand why people get so offended here when somebody recommends precautions that can be taken to avoid such things in future. We can always discuss such incidents here after it happened and vent out all the frustration and anger. But that is not changing anything at all. I agree that society as a whole has to be taught good manners and victim blaming should never be done.

      I am not blaming the victim here at all and she had every right to go to that birthday party. Taking it to another context, we have every right to roam around in the night anywhere in the country wearing costly ornaments. But since the society is not so ideal now, we take some precautions. Everyone agrees that robbing someone is wrong and victim should not be blamed here. But is it very wrong to say that the victim could have avoided it?


    • I have to backup Rachna a little on this. She is not saying its okay to rape people if they drink or smoke. We have kids like these in every neighborhood. Kids who play loud music in their cars, or do the accelerator trick on their bullet electras to create a nuisance in the society. I mean these are kids in class 9th, 10th who act all goonda. What are the schools, parents teaching them?The real problem here is that sometiems, these acts are entertained. I know one too many girls from my own school who would go out with these kinds of boys despite(or because of) their rowdy nature.

      Some girls smile and flirt with these boys who commit such nuisance. Instead of being shunned, these morons are sometimes admired, both by classmates and sometimes by teachers as well. The good guys lose the race here. Its only after 4 years of college and a year of working that these guys come terms with life.

      In the meantime, there has been enough damage on their part. They actually think what they’re doing in public is cool since they get appreciation from women.

      I am not saying this women is one of these. But this is an inherent problem in our society,. in ever society actually. Bullies are worshipped….cuz they’re funny!

      Its sick. Since they get their way around others as children, they think they have a right to have their way and other people’s feelings are irrelevant.

      Now, obviously the girl went with them since she trusted the guy. I am not at all raising any questions on her character or her intentions. If its a rape, its a rape.

      Noida police has a right to take the victim’s statement with a pinch of salt, since that is how the judicial system works(innocent until proven otherwise, not the other way around), but they shouldn’t pass judgements. That’s the job of courts.


  7. This is the 2nd major incident of Noida Police ki insensitivity that I have read (1st was Aarushi Murder case?) but I am sure they keep doing such follies everyday.
    I mean are they inhuman or plain simple stupid or wait they really belong to that era where it was believed that bad things happens to ppl who are bad!!!

    Such police officers should be hanged, seriously!!! I dunno how they are not thrown out of the rotten system which rots mroe becaus of such ppl.


    • That’s exactly what I thought. Can’t believe the police at one point insisted that the old man (domestic help) who was also found dead, was her ‘secret boyfriend.’ What would compel a teenager to make some old domestic helper her ‘secret boyfriend?’ It’s like they believed that because she had friends who were boys on facebook, she must be someone who would make anyone her boyfriend, including an old, illiterate, domestic help staff. It was completely idiotic.

      But it also goes to show that whichever government office is responsible for hiring police officers should also be held accountable for wasting tax payer money in hiring such incompetent people.


      • To be honest, I cannot blame the police on this matter. The case in question was extremely complex and there was a very huge media pressure to find the culprit. So they needed a scapegoat. It is funny, how a girl’s death in Delhi hogs the headlines, while women, kids and men are regularly raped, murdered and brutalised by Indian military personell in NE India under the cover of AFSPA and no one gives a rat’s tail about it.


  8. Sadly I don’t think it is only if our society evolves from the rape culture syndrome that it currently is afflicted with can this change. The other day, I was watching on TV about the woman who said that ‘women should not get offended by sexy’ , i was having dinner with my family and my uncle who is a citizen of USA told me that if somebody on the street told him he was sexy he would think it was a compliment and that girls should just ignore what men say to them on the street. his obviously enraged me and we went on to have this discussion that disturbed me profoundly. He and people like him believe it is the woman’s fault if she gets raped, she should have stayed safe.
    This is a man who is vice president of a multi national American company and more importantly father of a bright 14 yr old. I was disturbed because here I am preaching to the world and people closest to me perpetrate the worst gender stereotypes. He even ridiculed the Slut Walk 😦
    In this case I totally imagine him blaming the girl. I think serious gender education should be included in all trainings – doctors, engineers, police, army, IAS, and all government employees and all other professions that come to your mind and in schools. Have to start early. And we have to do what it takes to condemn these people who say these things and force governments to take action. At least by sending petitions. Let us bombard the police with letters, phone calls and mails. As GV very rightly said let us create a slogan, make posters and paste them in our cities let us involve whoever is willing to be involved – cafes, restaurants, shops, super markets, media, newspapers. Rape is the rapist’s fault, no one else’s period! In all situations.

    Let us make that clear!! What do you think? Any ideas on a pink chaddi style campaign to fight rape culture?


  9. the same thing happening over n over again..in kolkata, in noida. Pretty much uniform response from police all over India when it comes to rape victims. They need to be given a sensitization course, a refresher on their duties too it seems. The attitude of police is actually reflecting the society’s tendency of faulting the victim.. people sit in their drawing rooms and pass such verdicts, it is acceptable to do so.. other people nod heads in agreement. So we need to protest, everytime and every chance that we get. Let them call you a feminist, idealist, impractical, stupid, bimbo-activist .. don’t care, but challenge every statement containing even a small hint of degrading/blaming women for all the ills of this world. I had discussions in the train this time with some constables+ a senior bank employee travelling in same compartment.

    me – I do this Bjigya! I talk to my driver, to an auto driver, to my cook, to people I meet while travelling, and convey the same.


  10. Read similar reactions to the rape of the woman in Kolkata. I was reading the article on TOI’s online edition and some of the commenters were behaving exactly in accordance with your analysis of the Noida police – they alleged that the woman had drunk alcohol, and of course according to the IMB (Indian moral brigade) women are not supposed to drink alcohol because ‘which “DECENT” (again, I have no idea what they mean by ‘decent’) woman drinks?’ Of course this does not apply to the drunk men who raped the woman, because man drinking = good/cool/masculine.

    They then alleged that the woman in that case was a ‘hooker/prostitute’, which, according to them, is the ‘lowest of the low’ or something base and disgusting, and something they feel the need to morally judge them for. To them being a prostitute also justifies rape for some reason.

    This sort of behaviour just makes my blood boil. The cops, as you so perfectly said, don’t want to have to take responsibility or blame for anything – for them it’s less about making the city safer, and more about protecting their own backsides.


  11. I’m not surprised, not in the least. We have seen everyone around (police, courts, society) blaming the victims while letting off the perpetrators or atleast trying to justify their actions. This is the sick society we live in.


  12. How tough is it to understand that “Rape is a premeditated act of violence, not a spontaneous act of passion and it is the responsibility of the rapist alone”. Without consent, no means no, no matter what the situation or circumstances.
    In our society, no other crime victim is looked upon with the degree of suspicion and doubt as a victim of rape. And this is a society which keeps reminding the whole world about how they have a long tradition of respecting women. I think our society confuses benevolent sexism with respect.
    India really is a hostile country for women. It’s disheartening and disgusting to see (but comes as no surprise) politicians, police and judges, blame women for crimes that are perpetrated on them. What is more bothersome is that people who apparently work for women welfare and women politicians, police officers and judges also indulge in victim blaming and slut shaming.


  13. Noida police took this stand? It’s really no surprise, but still sickens one to the stomach to hear such words from law enforcement. The whole country knows that it’s a force of misogynists, not a police force. I wonder if they even have any policewomen, and what kind of working conditions those women might be enduring. Such statements, and the existence of such a-holes make me never want to set foot in my own country ever again.


  14. @Anubha Sarkar
    AS, what if a girl has had no one to guide her about what kind of precautions to follow? Would she deserve to be raped? What if a woman needs her job and her job requires her to work with men? What if she is a typical ‘tomboy’ and enjoys male friends’ company? What if she was a sex worker? Is it okay to gang rape sex workers, do they feel less trauma?
    We don’t know exactly what happened but this much is certain that her mother did not report the rape last year partly because of fears of the kind of reactions we are expressing. When we judge instead of supporting we make it even more difficult for a rape victim to report a crime. We may think our anger would teach her or others to be careful, but think about it, do you think any safety-advice should ever sound like a threat? Should it sound like “If you don’t follow all these safety rules and something happens to you then don’t expect us to believe that you did not ask to be raped”, or “then don’t ask us to support you through your trauma because not doing as you are told means you wanted to be raped,”
    This kind of advice mixed with warnings and threats and blame, is why most rapes don’t get reported and that emboldens the rapists. This is also how it becomes so ‘shameful’ to be raped, that the victim is silenced. There is no doubt that many people have said the same thing to her and her family, including the cops (- and all without even knowing exactly what happened) – the police has refused to believe her version of what happened and media has reported many different versions. The police has no interest in investigating but they would like the girl to look like she asked for it so that they can wash their hands off the case.
    Why was the family so terrified of that MMS clip? Because they would have been blamed for asking for the rape.
    When we don’t blame the victims we blame the parents (generally the mothers) for not protecting the child. Do you think the victim would not have been blamed if she had not been forced to drink Vodka or if she had been forced into the car? Even then we would have found reasons to reassure ourselves that such a thing would not happen to us because we would not do the kind of things the victim did.
    There are many others who blame women for wearing jeans/salwar kurta, for talking to men, for going out alone after dark – do you think if all the women stopped going out and started wearing appropriately safe clothing there would be no rapes?
    The only way for such crimes to be controlled is to unequivocally condemn, convict and give exemplary punishment to rapists. And to make sure we make it easy for rape victims to report rape, and then we don’t refuse to believe what they say. You saw how the police reacted the same way in the Kolkata rape case? And the victim had been telling the truth. They even pointed out her being single as a reason for her being the kind of woman who could be raped.
    Do take a look at today’s post too, would love to read your answers.


  15. How tough is it to understand that “Rape is a premeditated act of violence, not a spontaneous act of passion and it is the responsibility of the rapist alone”? Without consent, no means no, no matter what the situation or circumstances.
    In our society, no other crime victim is looked upon with the degree of suspicion and doubt as a victim of rape. It’s almost like the victim is the criminal not the rapist. And this is a society which keeps reminding the whole world about how they have a long tradition of respecting women. I think our society confuses benevolent sexism with respect.
    India really is a hostile country for women. It’s disheartening and disgusting to see (but comes as no surprise) politicians, police and judges, blame women for crimes that are perpetrated on them. What is more bothersome is that people who apparently work for women welfare and women politicians, police officers and judges also indulge in victim blaming and slut shaming.


  16. Kolkata case well ofcourse what is being said about her is wrong, she has every right to go out and have a drink and have fun. and her being a divorcee is her personal matter. And its sad its being turned into a political circus. Let me clarify, yes when one works you have mingle with everybody, one can only exercise safety precautions. And i dont want to get into our social mindset. all i am saying is why did she have to go with those guys? if her mother was scared of this very reaction why did she allow her daughter to go, when infact it has backfired? infact this has made people question all the MORE, dont you think so? and RAPE IS HEINOUS, it is WRONG. Yes those boys should be punished. The girls actions and her parents have only led to the people doubting its veracity. I for one, when i read the reports was thoroughly taken aback. My ONLY point is this, i agree with all u said above, about job requirements, lack of appropriate precautionary advice, the fault being of the victims when its our societal norms that need changing, but i just feel that when she knew that among those guys was also the guy who had raped her, didnt she for ONCE think something was wrong? yes we may never know for certain what ACTUALLY happened, but this aspect completely befuddles me.I can agree that yes the first time, when the rape occured it must have shattered her and she hadnt known what to do, we dont know what happened, but what happened was wrong. Why didnt she learn from that experience? She had things in her control, then why did she put herself in such a situation which was so danger prone? I dont know what to make of that. As for the NOIDA police, i never said that they were correct in their reports. Its just horrible and you feel like bashing them up and it does remind one of the arushi case. Thats it. thats my only concern what i explained above.


    • Also Anubha when the facts seem bizarre, there could also be inaccuacy in reporting and some of the facts could be the imagination of the police. We saw this in Aarushi murder, where the police (without needing to prove it) declared that the father had an affair with another doctor, and the yet to be 14 year old daughter had an ‘affair’ with her servant – based on the fact that she chatted with make friends. It’s not just that Noida police does not know that sexual segregation is no longer as common amongst the middle class children, but it suits them to make it look like the victim actually ‘asked for it’ – the less sympathy for her, lesser the media attention, the faster they can close the case. It seems this victim’s family was threatened yesterday, stone pelting and asked to withdraw the case.
      In another case UP police had declared that a family had ‘honor’ killed their daughter, and the girl appeared in another police station to state that she was alive and her family should not be harassed. (I had blogged about this)


  17. // the mother says that the girl was raped before by one of the guys before now just WHY the hell would she go again with that same guy alongwith a bunch of other guys to somebodys birthday party//

    That makes me contemplate a consensual sex gone sour and the man blamed for rape by a mentally unstable woman.


    • 1. The police says she went willingly, not the victim. And even if she went willingly, it does not indicate consent to have sex.

      2. There were five men, not one man. The victim said another girl too was raped by the same man. Now the family has been threatened, stone pelting on their doors and windows, and has been provided police protection.

      3. If he raped her earlier and that was before she was 15, it would be seen as rape, whether or not it was consensual.

      4. If she is proven to be mentally unstable – I think it would be considered rape anyway, because then she was not in a condition to give her consent. Not sure of the exact specifications.


  18. Pingback: Aarushi Talwar’s parents. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  19. Pingback: Gurgaon pub attendant gang rape victim: Went willingly? Refused medical test? | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  20. Pingback: Misogyny in narratives of rape in Indian media | media laundry- @Dhobitalao

  21. Pingback: Be a wife like Sita, wear a sari and don’t get abducted. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  22. Pingback: “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down,” | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  23. Pingback: So what is a ‘Legitimate Rape’? Love this! | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  24. Pingback: Rape victim has attendance problem hence resorting to drama to gain sympathy. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  25. Pingback: How many parents in India will do this instead of hushing it up if the case didn’t come into the lime light? | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  26. Pingback: This is not the first, or the only time a rape victim in UP has been kept overnight in a Mahila Thana. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  27. Pingback: Immoral policing: A guest post by Carvaka | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  28. Pingback: “It is very sad, disheartening and shocking to learn that the body of the missing girl was tracked down by her father and colleagues in Bhandup.” | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  29. Pingback: Shouldn’t sex with a minor be considered rape by an adult and a crime against the state…? | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  30. Pingback: Who benefits from banning of Porn sites? | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s