NRIs move back to raise better daughters in law, parents sell their assets to afford dowries; daughters are deprived of freedom and self reliance so that they can be ‘protected and cared for’ by their in laws and spouse.
Although they have little real choice in whether or not they want this life, the responsibility to make this work is still theirs. Sounds fair?
What is Indian Culture?
Traditional Indians seem to see Indian Culture as ‘Raising Indian daughters to be good daughters in law’.
So if Indian women (like other Indians) begin to see a life beyond the goal of Getting Married and Staying Married then they fear that Indian culture is in danger.
Sindhuja Giridharan shared the link to this article about double standards that some NRIs call ‘Parenting’ and ‘Saving Indian Culture’.
//It wasn’t family responsibilities or businesses interests in India that drew Shankar back home after so many years abroad. Quite simply, his little girl had grown up. “It just struck me one day when she refused to change out of her jeans for an Indian party we were going to… She was 11 years old then …”//
Of course the Indian way of bringing up daughters is better than anywhere else. 🙄 That is why we dread having them so much that we pray, fast and abort for sons.
More from that article,
//The question that arises then is: why is imbibing the Indian culture more important for girls than it is for the boys? Perhaps the reason lies in the fact that America is thought to foster a sense of individuality, of fierce independence and lateral thinking, which while great for our boys, can severely hamper a woman’s marriage prospects. Of course, most Indian women (groomed from the cradle to make the best wives) are still expected to strive to attain the virtues of domesticity, obedience and docility, to the point of being self-effacing. If the girl must ‘fit in’ with her husband’s family after marriage, she must learn to be flexible, to adjust without argument — lessons of life that some NRI parents feel just can’t be learnt in America’s hedonistic culture of unabashed gender equality, money, sex, drugs and self-gratification.//
Please do take a look at the article here.
Here is a comment that sees loving (?) a child as reason enough to take away any choices from her.
What good is being liberal or modern if your daughter gets divorced in the first year of the marriage? Which parent would want to take such a risk?
The media always use the term ‘double standards’ . Is it ‘double standard’ when the father drops the daughter to the bus stop & the son has to go all alone?
Is it double standard when the parents are agitated when their daughters out of contact for more than a few hours?
Yes , we treat our children differently. That does not mean we love one less than the other…
Fear of a marriage not working out, but no fear of life long dependence. What message do Indian daughters get?