First, why does the Moral Police object to Valentine’s Day?
If young Indians meet freely they might start choosing who they want to marry or live with.
As more and more young Indians start choosing their life partners gradually it would become difficult to arrange marriages with dowries and matching horoscopes.
Gradually castes, age, religion, income, gender, obedience levels, ‘innocence levels’, macho levels, past relationships etc would become less important as criterion, and marriage would become a matter of choice, and not the only goal in every Indian’s life.
Then we would not hear jokes like ‘shaddi ka laddu jo khaye wo bhi pachtaaye, jo naa khaye wo bhi pachtaye‘ because with loosening of the hold of the moral police, young people would value life and happiness more than an institution.
Women would then be able to choose divorce over suicide, life long abuse or being burnt alive. Their families would then not see them as liabilities.
Young men would then choose careers they want, instead of becoming Providers. With marriage becoming a choice, self reliance would gradually become more important for men also. They would also be able to choose as their partners, women (or men) they really want to.
Those who support the Moral Police fear that the end of the traditional system – however horribly faulty, would leave them without support and care. The moral police loves their insecurity. (The fact is as a part of the society, they too would benefit from the relaxing of unnecessary deadlines and controls)
So here’s what I would put in the Valentine’s Day Gift Hamper for the Indian Moral Police.
1. To remind them that nobody is really being fooled. A copy of the video of the three ministers watching porn in the Karnataka Assembly.
2. To show them the possibilities.
Free tickets to ‘Ek Main Aur Ek Tu’ [link]
A DVD of ‘Dev D'[link]
3. To continue their education.
Khuda ke liye [link]
Delhi Belly [link]
4. As a warning…
Because Chaddi are forever. [link]
A packet of pink chaddis?