This anonymous email from a 35 year old married woman is about the discomfort she felt when she bought condoms. Why the discomfort? Maybe because it indicated that she might be involved in what the condoms were to be used for? Or that she might be involved enough to want to make it safe for herself? She is not supposed to want, think about, preferably be too ‘innocent’ to even know about sex – to be a good Indian woman.
This email reminded me of two recent books by Indian bloggers. In ‘A Bowlful of Butterflies’ Ritu Lalit’s heroine is confused by her attraction for her young cousin, but she is not confused or ashamed that she should feel an attraction. Honest, Practical.
“Her giddy heart had created a love story out of a simple kiss.
Okay, her first kiss, she amended the thought. She shook her head and smiled. No, Chandu, it’s not your giddy heart, it’s your unbridled lust!”
I think young Indians and their parents might want to take a look at this simply written, lighthearted book that deals with many serious issues.
Kiran Manral’s heroine thinks her husband looks ‘good enough to eat’ in his green linen shirt, but she also has mildly sinful thoughts about other men ‘within the range of her vision’.
“But as a respectably married woman, it was unseemly to stare at a man, specially when the husband was growling at one’s arm, therefore I contented myself with pointing him out to the spouse, and saying, ‘There, one more early bird. Do you know him?'”
Kiran Manral is also very, very funny.
“You would think a man might be curious about why he had been roused from sleep. You would think he might even be happy being roused in the middle of the dark night, by a loving spouse all wide awake and alert.”
This is Savitri’s email.
I wanted you to post this on your blog and I want to know the response.
Today I went to a super market and purchased condoms. I am a female, 35 married and I have one baby. As I did this, I was so nervous that one packet dropped off the self. I ran from that place without looking back. And when I was at the billing counter, I was straining my neck to see if there was some woman at the counter. Unfortunately no!
The young chap that billed the goods gave me one look. As it is I was feeling very uncomfortable and I started feeling all the more awkward. Luckily there were no men standing in line after me, two very young modern women and I breathed easy momentarily.
This is my body! this is my life! I have a career, a well flourished one .
Why cannot Indian woman do this task? Why is this taboo?
I feel as if I did a sin (it is 9:30 in the night and I feel awkward !!! I am worrying if I should tell the husband. He would be very upset when he knows when I went ahead and got it !!!
Let me add that my husband and I have been using barrier protection. It is not a case where he is averse to it and I went ahead. Just that he has been busy. I have been reminding him many times !! that’s it !!
Though multiple times. he has requested me to get some other protection done, I haven’t done fearing hormonal changes on my body
I would appreciate if you just post the content w/o passing user info etc
A woman not being able to buy condoms is only one symptom. There are many others, like little children not being taught about ‘good and bad touch’, victims of sexual assaults being taught to be ashamed, Moral Police getting away with harassing young couples… what’s the real issue?