Maybe it’s because we are still a young Democracy…

So an Indian American student was in news for secretly filming his gay roommate (Clementi) kissing a male friend.

Clementi found out  about this, complained to college authorities,  and committed suicide.

The case sparked a national conversation about bullying of young gays after the roommate committed suicide in September 2010.

Dharun Ravi is charged with bias intimidation, invasion of privacy and hindering prosecution. Read more here.

Reminded me of AMU students in India filming their gay teacher with a male partner, but instead of those who filmed, it was the victim who was punished.

Dr Siras was filmed inside his house, participating in a homosexual act with a willing partner, for which he was suspended from the university.

Allahabad High Court issued a stay order against his suspension.

A week later he was found dead under mysterious circumstances.

Read more here.

How does one expect respect for the law when the victim instead of the criminal are punished?

Maybe it’s because we are still a young democracy that we ban/condemn consensual sex, peaceful protests and Valentine’s Day but we excuse child abuse, murder and rape; and we support hate crimes in the name of morality?

Maybe examples like the three hypocrites watching porn in the assembly will gradually make us understand that there is nothing ‘moral’ about trying to control other people’s lives and choices.

Related Posts:

Who is the victim in this crime?


24 thoughts on “Maybe it’s because we are still a young Democracy…

  1. I was watching them split hairs yesterday on whether it was a hate crime or not. While I don’t believe anyone is responsible for a person’s decision to commit suicide, teasing/ragging/bullying is completely unacceptable. It doesn’t get more acceptable because it is a teenager of Indian origin doing it.


  2. I think all these are not because India is a young democracy, (we are already 60+), but because we are a young Capitalist State with a lot of feudal moral left overs clinging to us, Culture change happens only after several decades/centuries of economic change.
    That is why it is so easy to get resignation letters from a minister watching porn, but almost impossible to get it from a CM who incited riots by transporting 59 charred dead bodies over 200kms or a Home minister who was the king pin of Corruption scandal. In India Moral Police is 100 times stronger than Ordinary Police.


  3. It’s nothing to do with democracy – young or not – but more to do with social mores…For some reason, Indians cannot accept or respect individuality or individuals…Everything has to be for the whole…


  4. About the Rutgers incident–I think it may have to do with the Indian diaspora of the US. They’re just really, really weird. I grew up in the US as a first generation immigrant [as in, I was born in Nepal and moved to the US when I was 11], but most of the Indian-Americans there were born and raised as Americans. But the strange thing is, their parents really clung [to an extremely unhealthy degree] to India of the 1950s.

    These kids weren’t allowed to date, go to parties thrown by ‘white’ kids [don’t get me started at the racism directed towards African-Americans], and were raised to believe in arranged marriages. They’re taught to fear [and it’s fear that leads to ‘hate’ and stigmatization of the other] anything that isn’t strictly traditional or orthodox.They’re pretty much the most racist, homophobic, and ‘traditional’ bunch I’ve ever met. And I’m pretty sure that’s what lead to the guy filming his roommate.

    I made friends with a girl who had moved to the US from Delhi and even she was shocked–she was like ‘these people have moved backwards.’

    Can’t believe a University would suspend someone for being filmed illegally in his own house.


    • Deja Vu. When a college buddy got married last year, his near and dear relatives came to take part in the wedding preparation. His aunt and ‘mausaji’ (aunt’s husband), who were school teachers in LA also came down to Delhi. When they asked, “Where did you find the girl?”, my friend’s parent’s told them he met her in Delhi. They were absolutely scandalised and castigated his Lucknowi parents for being a disgrace to ‘Indian culture and parampara’ by ‘allowing’ their son to marry a girl of his choice. They haven’t been to the country for over 20 years so pretty much missed the changes going on.


  5. Sexual orientation different than a male-female one is still considered as a “joke” or “disease” to most people in India…..even u remember they say it’s a hit movie on ‘gay’ topic…Dostana….but I found it clowning representation & mocking of gay community…..why no body protested…i don’t know

    About that Aligarh professor incident….it is sad….In India you can get away with only ‘mild’ or no punishment if you rape & batter a person to vegetative state for life time ( Aruna Shaunbag case) but cannot even imagine to divulge your ‘different’ sexual orientation to anyone……

    Actaully in our country the definition of “ADULT’ is quite debatable….18 years is adult enough for getting married but not for drinking alcohol!!!….Young girls starting from 11 years are expected to handle household chores & other young kids but consensual relationship by a 25 years old is big NO-NO!!!


  6. The idea of making our country a democracy was highly ambitious as our socio-cultural values are just the opposite. If democracy meant equal rights of all citizens, why did we have to and continue to fight for equal rights for women. We are just confused and disillusioned. We learn and preach equality and practice hierarchy. In India, power comes with zero responsibility. It also is hereditary. We have a long way to go to become a democracy.

    To help differentiate the criminal and the victim and degrees of crime, we need to modify the entire moral science curriculum in school. And there should be case studies to identify the crime, victim and criminal. Hope that would help generations to come at the very least!


  7. Pingback: And what would have happened if this man had declared that he was gay and hence would not marry a woman? | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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