A decent man who is overpowered by desire and who does not want to fornicate… should Rape?

The only solution for a decent man who has the means, who is overpowered by desire and who does not want to commit fornication, is to acquire sex slaves. (Salwa Al Mutairi, a woman and a Kuwaiti politician)

Al Mutairi thinks Chechnya would be the right place to buy sex slaves (for their husbands) from.

The country is at war with another state, so there are some captives for sure. I say go and buy those captives, they might just die of hunger over there. I say go and buy them and sell them to merchants here in Kuwait who may otherwise commit a sin.” (Thanks for the link Sunder.)

Al Mutairi sees Fornication (willing partners, but not married to each other) as a crime, and  Rape of helpless women as the solution.

Obedient Wife Club‘s 800 members and Al Mutairi should be told that such thinking is responsible for ‘Overpowered by Desire Disorder (OBDD)’ in men. *Note: The term OBDD is my creation, not a medical term.*

When Getting Married and Staying Married is a woman’s life purpose, some justify domestic violence, some excuse the husband’s crimes, some try  being ‘whores in bed’, some attempt to control who their husbands attack when OBDD strikes.

Some facts about Overpowered By Desire Disorder (OBDD)

1. The disorder is more common in sexually repressed nations, where men and women are not allowed/ are restricted from interacting.

2. OBDD has reached epidemic proportions in nations where women are made to cover up completely. (In countries like India it is more common in places where there is poor rate of conviction and segregation.  )

3. Generally men in most of the Western countries, in Ethiopia and in Nagaland and in many Indian families do not show symptoms of OBDD. These healthy men generally don’t need to use religion/insecurity/marriage/financial dependence for sex. On the contrary, women generally enjoy having sex with them

And sometimes OBDD patients threaten these women with dire consequences for this. Violent envy is common amongst those suffering from OBDD.

It is possible that men with OBDD in these nations have not evolved, physically and mentally, to the level that the rest of the world has.

Could it be that they have genuinely got no control over their bodies and minds?

Let’s assume it is.

So what would be the obvious, intelligent, scientific and civilized solution?

1. Making women, babies and little boys or whoever they attack responsible for the OBDD patient’s condition, or blaming the victim, has been tried.  It seems to aggravate the OBDD.

2. Covering women up partially or completely, controlling their movements and lives, also seems to aggravate the symptoms.

Those afflicted with OBDD  are known to victimize anyone if there is hope of not having to face the consequences. High conviction rates for their OBD actions seems to improve the condition.

3. The most obvious solution –

a. Medication to control the chemicals responsible for  the condition (hormones?).

b. Surgery to remove the problem causing body part/s.

c. An analysis of the patients mental capabilities.

Occasional sedation to control OBDD could be seen as an option during festivals etc.

Restricted use of TV and internet to prevent what patients call ‘provocation’. Blind fold in public places would achieve the same goal.

d. Counseling might work if the condition is discovered in time.

e. Restriction of movements (no traveling alone after dark, no permission to visit lonely parks etc).

Locking up or Institutionalization in severe cases.

f. Male Chastity Belts could prove helpful for some patients.

This video is not in English, so all it does is let us see that indoctrination, extreme desperation and insecurity does not add extra noses to our faces.

53 thoughts on “A decent man who is overpowered by desire and who does not want to fornicate… should Rape?

  1. OMG hahaha! You have to send this piece directly to Obedient Wives Club! The solutions are all hilarious and apt… not sure about the restricted Internet or the blind fold though. It might serve the same way as being surrounded by covered up women does, leading to increased desire due to lack of exposure. Maybe they would be overexposed as in Clockwork Orange?

    OBDD is a condition vastly prevalent among Indian men too. I remember having this conversation with my husband after a couple of desi construction workers made suggestive comment to me here in Hong Kong when I was PREGNANT! I have never never been harassed by men in China – even in the crowded Shanghai Expo – except by desi men. It is sad and shameful. Reading through the post during the Child Sexual Abuse Awareness month, the sheer number of women that had stories to tell, made me even more convinced of the rampant presence of what you term OBDD in our society. But why is this so?

    A friend’s theory (and he may be wrong) is that Indian men are sexually repressed. In China and South East Asia, it is socially acceptable to have a mistress or to visit a prostitute. Unlike in India where there are only the really grotty red light areas and the very expensive call girls, in this part of the world, there are different price points. The exploitative nature of prostitution as an industry is another matter but prostitution does provide a service. I pointed out that in the West it is not so acceptable to visit prostitutes, and my friend said that in the West, relationships are freer and people start having sex at a young age. In India, marrying people off young is seen as a way to provide as much sex as the man wants, but maybe people are often not compatible.

    I think there might be some truth to this sexual frustration theory – not that it excuses violence in any way. But I also think there what makes OBDD and the expressions of it in sexual harassment and rape so prevalent in India is the patriarchal nature of society – where women are not seen as worthy of respect, more so if they make men insecure by transgressing the boundaries laid out of them, and where men have a sense of entitlement. Because of this patriarchal mindset, society does not adequately punish OBDD thus adding to the problem.

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    • OBDD is caused by sexual repression when combined with almost total acceptance of men will be men, can’t help, get provoked into being OBD.

      Not sure about legalizing prostitution, though maybe like in Paulo Coelho’s ‘Eleven Minutes’, taking the stigma away from sex providers would be great. If it is something some people seek (err being Overcome By Desire) and some others willingly provide, they might as well be paid for it. Instead they are stigmatized, ostracized and generally victimized in every way possible.
      Or else making paid-sex-seekers and pimps be responsible (if it remains illegal) should control OBDD, because OBDD is about, some of us can’t help it they, have needs

      In the past Indians were married as teenagers and still the OBDD existed. Maybe the gradual removing of stigma from premarital sex both for men and women would help. How come women don’t suffer from OBDD? Because double standards cause and nurture OBDD.

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  2. There is something terribly wrong with these kind of women. Not shocking though as I live in Qatar and do see such women around! People from this part of the world have no sense of just, humanity, love or respect for other creatures in this world. neither do they have any self-respect to make such statements!

    Loved your solution 3 B 🙂

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  3. My doubt is, how did these creatures evolve into something that looks like human but is quite the opposite? Feel like banging my head onto the wall..

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  4. Thank heavens she lives somewhere far off. She inspires me to kill her. Has she ever seen real pictures of sex slaves, the ones not put up as porn, but the true reality? Gah!

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  5. These women are so desperate to keep their husbands that they will justify anything even rape! How can a man be ‘decent rapist’? In my opinion, cheating on your wife is probably better than raping – at least there’s no violence…

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  6. Now this, I have a problem with. The obedient wives club doesn’t bother me so much because it seems to be entirely voluntary. In a democratic society, you should be able to do what you want as long as you’re not harming someone else–even if it is being a member of a really stupid organization.

    But this woman seems to be advocating something very different–the forcible enslavement of fellow human beings.

    Bahaha @ the blindfolded in public idea. I wish someone used these in the local men of gurgaon.

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  7. OMG such females exists :O and that too politician 😐 Shows how much she demeans her gender and maybe might be regretting she is female and maybe she is not even a woman just the physical attributes…and I dont blame her…the place she comes from…that is indoctrinated within that she doesnt even realize if its wrong or not.

    Thank God she isnt in India …I actually feel sorry for the woman she is…..actually thats how most women in Arab world become when made to realize that suppression is best for them….

    OBDD males needs treatment big time and they full in India as far I know.

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  8. For the first time, I seem to be at a loss for words!

    I have heard of invaders dragging away womenfolk when they conquer, during the medieval ages.
    Even more recently Japanese soldiers did this to Korean women during Word War II
    Instead of calling them sex slaves, they were called “Comfort Women”, but that does not make this crime any less shocking.

    But someone advocating this today is simply shocking.

    Regards
    GV

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      • Dear Sraboney,

        As a responsible citizen and an Army Offr’s son (who has seen soldiers serving and dying in Kashmir), I would urge you to rethink on your comments above.

        The instances of Rape/ molestation is by far the least when it comes to Indian soldiers. I am shy of saying that it would be nil, lest I invite negative comments from other ‘patriotic’ Indians.

        No Indian soldier has gone to the valley on his free will. He has gone there because the Government and the Civil Administration completely broke down and asked the Army to step in. Needless to say, they are doing a wonderful job there.

        If you take your mind back to the Niloufer rape/murder case, you would recollect that though the Army was blamed in the beginning, later the role of the local Kashmiri police came to light. Also, may I remind you, that in case any accusation is made on any person, the Army goes all out to indict him. By the way, Military law which are used for the Army, are much more severe then the equivalent IPC, which would otherwise be used on a civilan.

        You say that women are the spoils of war. Although there is no active war in the Valley today, yet there exists a dichotomy which the army terms ‘NWNP'(No war no peace).

        In case you happen to visit Pune, do take out some time and go to Artificial Limb Center or the Paraplegic home where you will meet many brave-hearts who lost a limb in Kashmir.

        I certainly would not have reacted in this manner had your sentence not had ‘Kashmir’ in it…..
        Trust me, with half of my family and friends in the Army, I can guarantee that no other organization respects Civilians in general and woman in particular as the Indian Army.

        Adios,
        Anirban Banerjee

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      • Anirban, it is quite possible that your father and the men he served with are honourable and upstanding. But I remain skeptical of your assertion that “The instances of Rape/ molestation is by far the least when it comes to Indian soldiers”. If you are willing to accept that atrocities might be committed by other armies, why do you exempt the Indian army? The sons of those army officers, no doubt, would make the same assertions as you.

        The Indian army in Kashmir functions under the The Armed Forces Special Powers Act of 1958 and the Disturbed Areas Act of 1976. The Special Powers Act provides that unless approval is obtained from the Central Government, no “prosecution, suit, or other legal proceeding shall be instituted…against any person in respect of anything done or purported to be done in exercise of the powers of the act.” This would make it very difficult to get anyone prosecuted, even if the victims and their families live to tell the tale. Just the fact of being armed, gives army personnel the edge. With the law and the barrell of the gun on their side, and I would assume extremely stressful and difficult working conditions, is it so hard to believe that their worst instincts might come into play?

        This is not to say that there are no good men in Kashmir or to discount the sacrifice of those good men, but when an army has had the run of a place for five decades, history has shown that conditions are ripe for human rights abuses.

        Let us not be blind to the flaws in the industries we work in. My husband works in banking and although he himself is an honest person, he is not naive about what goes on in the banking industry. As a patriotic person I do feel it is my right and duty to question certain situations in our country especially when flags have been raised by human rights groups.

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  9. and these are the people ruling the country!

    I am so shocked by the blatant disregard for human life! She speaks as if those women in chechnya are not humans!

    I really, don’t understand what the good God is upto!

    I mean… reallly!

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  10. it’s gratifying that my male muslim colleague read this and found it shocking and scary.
    small gratification… but still…

    me – Yes it is. It’s the same as a male Hindu finding Muthalik disgusting 🙂

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      • Gender Bias has no gender Sanjana. Just like expression, love for Indian Culture, parenting skills, cooking, love for sports, knack for managing finance or multitasking, love for good food, clothes, shoes and pets are not dependent on the gender. 🙂

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  11. It starts in the cradle. Boys are brought up to believe they must be masters, dominators, owners, and their every whim is catered to.Girls are brought up to believe they must submit, sacrifice, belong, obey and be objects…I think the brain itself undergoes a change. Besides removing the err relevant body parts, some re-programming might help 🙄

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  12. Have rarely seen a case of sex addiction in India unlike America where such cases abound.

    me – OBDD is not sex addiction. When there are two willing partners then also it is not OBDD.

    OBDD is indicated when the society and even the law makers, seriously excuse sexual crimes by citing provocation by the victim, her clothing, life style etc.
    Or when they excuse sexual crimes because they believe men have no control i.e. they were Overcome By Desire.

    It is very common in India. In public transport and on the roads too. Even in work places women are told to dress ‘properly’ because men suffer from OBDD. It is more common in Delhi than it is in Bombay.

    people can seek counselling only when they’ve identified the problem.

    Me – Generally the families and even loving wives of rapists refuse to acknowledge OBDD as a problem. They believe being Overcome By Desire is natural for civilized male human.

    here in India,to deter rapists,the court has to legalize chemical castration.

    Me – I would recommend this for repeat offenders, violent rapists, psychopaths and pedophiles, I am surprised this is not yet done.

    Unlike the naxalites which have more suppressed women than men,one wonders why these women haven’t ever rebelled, and like this woman, Indian mothers have more instructions for their daughters than sons.

    Me – Women don’t rebel because of indoctrination. They believe this is what life is. They have not seen any other way to live. They are also given examples of the bad, bad west and teenage pregnancies, which they are being ‘protected’ from!
    I blogged about the teenage pregnancies in the West – where the mother and child are still cared for (and can live with dignity and freedom, and even get married and divorced if they choose to) than a married teenage mother who could be an insecure, obedient sex slave to her husband, with few rights and almost no freedom, and with not even the right to custody of her children if he divorces her.
    It is insecurity that is caused by such inhuman circumstances that makes them suggest sex slavery to control their husband’s OBDD.

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    • IHM, I’m confused.Can we say that despite being married strauss kanh,shiney and N.D tiwari suffered from OBDD?

      Me – OBDD applies when a man feels he is entitled to being Overcome By Desire (OBD). OBDD afflicted men would say things like, the maid’s beauty or clothing tempted them, and would rightfully expect the maid to be punished for tempting them. (And maybe blame their wives for not keeping them satisfied.)
      Street sexual offenders who claim women dress provocatively and deserve to be ‘eve teased’ have OBDD.

      what about sexual incompatibility between the couples ? the man in marriage needs it,his wife doesn’t.What happens then.Is this not the reason why prostitution has been the oldest profession.

      Me – Prostitution would be fine if it was totally voluntary and the service provider was well paid, and one of the two involved was not stigmatized while the other got away with ‘men will be men’.

      a thin line exists between self-control and sexual frustration.Then,is India sexually repressed?

      Answered below, yes Indians are sexually repressed.

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      • India is sexually repressed of course. We don’t even permit married couples to hold hands. Valentine day is seen as an affront to Indian culture. Many Indians learn about sex from rape scenes, many think a woman can only be a slut or a goddess. That is one of the reasons why we have so much sexual harassment on the streets and in all public spaces.

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    • Right! America is bad, India is great! What point are you trying to make here? Who told you Indian men are not addicted to sex? I have personally known people who think of sex all the time in India. And whatever the case is, what is the point?

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      • America has viciously gone overboard with sex, and to such an extent that it sickens.

        Me – So long as young people are not being forced into sex, why is it wrong? What two willing, uncommitted adults do is their business. How does it sicken? Do you mean HIV? That requires information not condemning their choices, or else they would do what many Indian teenagers are forced to do.
        Teenage pregnancies are common and so are orgies.
        Me – Teenage pregnancies are more common in Yemen, many middle east nations and India, where young girls are married, bear children, are abused, work all day and in Yemen have very high mortality rate during child birth. I think American teenagers have more choices and they are free to marry, divorce, raise their children single handed or whatever. How are they worse off than teenagers in the nations where men suffer from OBDD and women are honor killed?
        About orgies:There are no reliable statistics, these are stories the youth in some nations are told to ensure they toe the line. Also – so long as there is no force or exploitation or slavery, their lives are nobody’s business.

        and men,whether Indian or american, are genetically hardwired to “think of sex” all the time,which is fine as long as they are not out there raping molesting women and children.I am worried about the fact that sex addiction is never accepted or acknowledged in India,like homosexuality was until recently..Muslim countries have gone to the other extreme to subjugate women instead through indoctrination.

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      • No men are not GENETICALLY hardwired to think of sex all the time. It’s a social permission and programming.

        Statements like “America has gone viciously gone overboard with sex “seem to imply that America’s streets are filled with couples having sex. I somehow did not find any such scene while I lived there. 🙄 Just normal human beings.

        India’s streets are definitely filled with men sexually harrassing women. And that’s in public.

        As for teenage pregnancies, they are much commoner in India…within marriages. And outside of marriage, we don’t know abt them, because those teenagers are killed or silenced.

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    • @Prajakta–In my experience, South Asian men who think Americans are over sexed are those who have
      a) never been to America or any other Western country or
      b) those who are very insecure and live in the West but are not able to participate in sexual activity because they lack the social skills required to even ask a girl out on a date.
      Have you ever even visited the US? America =/= hollywood. I grew up in a small town in the South Eastern US and let me tell you the people there could give the Hindu fundamentalists a run for their money in terms of sexual repression. Half of the US is Jesusland–deeply religious and very, very right wing. Teen pregnancies are far more likely to happen in India than in the US. And you know what statistics show: states that are more conservative [like Georgia and South Carolina] have a far higher rate of teen pregnancies than states that are more liberal and have good sex education in public schools.

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      • In fact I have 🙂
        my rose colored glasses came off knowing the way relationships worked there .I interacted only with fellow Indians while I was there.If you have stayed in a motel you might have an ‘escort’ too,who would be ready to negotiate her services.
        A relative of mine who had a cushy job shifted to India when he had his kids beginning school.His fear was that he might not be able to instill values and sexual incontinence… let me mention teenage pregnancies,multiple sex partners,step parents and lack of stability in relationships is what ruptures the fabric of families.
        A recent report hailed Obama as the only president who has held a tenure without being embroiled in a sex scandal.and about las vegas,let me not harp on.
        India is on its way to abolish child marriages.Yemen is an Islamic country where women are possessions to trade or pair off.America is going downhill,repression exists in muslim countries who quote scriptures extensively and they have to become liberal and progressive first to shake this curse off.

        Me – I think I would like to discuss this in a post.

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      • @Prajakta–I don’t understand what escorts in motels have anything to do with family structures. If you don’t want to have sex with an escort–guess what—no one is going to force you to have sex with an escort. What two consenting adults do with their private lives is none of your business. And if you see other people’s actions as threats to your stable family life then the problem lies with your family.

        ” let me mention teenage pregnancies,multiple sex partners,step parents and lack of stability in relationships is what ruptures the fabric of families.”
        Erm, my Indian fiance has two Indian step parents who live in India and he’s as stable a person as you can get.

        Have you conducted a study? What are you basing your opinions on? You should really think twice before typing out such blanket statements. Your relative seems to be the type of person who wants to have an unhealthy level of control on his children, and thinks India would be an easier place to do so.

        Women are far more likely to get sexually harrassed [and then be told that it’s their own fault or that it isn’t sexual harrassment but just ‘men’ being ‘men’] in India [especially Gurgaon it seems, some of the men here are really creepy]. It’s very easy for you to dismiss Yemen as an Islamic country while saying India is working towards abolishing child marriages.

        @IHM–this would definitely make a very interesting post. I think the American right wing would agree with this poster on the family fabric and whatnot, including the Islamophobic attitude.

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      • “states that are more conservative [like Georgia and South Carolina] have a far higher rate of teen pregnancies than states that are more liberal and have good sex education in public schools.”

        Well said … like Sarah Palin’s daughter *gasp* It is all simply a hoga

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      • @prajakta: I don’t even see where you are coming from. If I ever have kids, I would much rather they are brought up in the West, preferably Europe, where most kids KNOW what they are doing. I encourage my teenage sister to find out about sexual reproduction, contraception and make informed choices. I do NOT tell her not to have sex.

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  13. //”The only solution for a decent man who has the means, who is overpowered by desire and who does not want to commit fornication, is to acquire sex slaves.”//

    Errr… So when a man does it with a sex slave it is not ‘fornication’??!! Now that’s amazing news!

    That crazy woman’s logic reminds me of what my mother told me about a neighbor of hers. This old lady ate fish, but condemned eating of meat. She said eating meat was sin, as it involved killing of animals. ‘Eating dead things, shiva shiva!!’ So mother asked her, how about fish?/ They also had been living and when you ate them they were dead things. Her reply?? “Oh fish are brought from far far away!”
    Similarly, this lady thinks when it is women from other places it is okay to buy and sell them or make them sex slaves as if they are commodities and not humans.
    Like Ritu says, I am glad she stays some place else. I may feel tempted to check whether she indeed has a brain.

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  14. It’s interesting to see the view that some women have of men. That they’re animals, can’t control themselves etc etc. I assume they pass on these attitudes to their children both male and female and thus perpetuate their own stereotypes.

    I have to point out one thing which blows the whole “men can’t control themselves” myth out of the water. When was the last time a guy “lost control” and sexually attacked a woman who was well protected at the time? Suppose she’s got guy friends with her, will any man “lose control” and try and rape her then and there?

    “Losing control” literally means you can’t help yourself. So if a person only chooses helpless victims then it’s pretty calculating and not about “losing control” at all. Otherwise someone should try and rape even actresses on the stage no? 😀

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  15. This nonsense generally emanates from communities which are repressed, oppressed and controlled – not in a physical sense but more of mental / emotional way, very much like most desi communities. People are curious about sex and they don’t have outlets so they resort to this.

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  16. Interesting Post.Opinion of that Kuwaiti women clearly
    represent the class and gender divide persisting in some societies
    where maintaining slaves where legal even few
    decades ago.Patriarchial system forbids sex outside
    marriage for men unless the women is from a lower
    class.This is because the child borne out of such
    union will remain to be of lower class and will not
    pose a threat to the wealth of the father.An upper woman
    is strictly forbidden to have sex outside marriage because
    of threat to the family’s wealth posed by kids
    borne out of it.
    I was wondering wht would have been the situation
    in such socities if gud contraceptive methods
    Were available then.May be then even upper class
    Women would have been allowed male sex slaves if
    Husbands were impotent!

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  17. Having sex without consent with a lower class partner was never
    considered a crime and the victim never had the right to resist.
    Our current definition of rape is a 20th century phenomenon.

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  18. This had disgusted me so badly, that I had posted a link to the news item on my FB wall, but could not even find the strength to rage about it. Islamic societies, in general, subject women to so many restrictions that life becomes a round of pleasing men for them. But this kind of thing has something deeper than mere restrictions.

    The woman is merely quoting the Koran which says that women can be brought as spoils of war and used by men as sex-slaves. Religion is the worst offender because every single one of them demeans women in all possible ways. The problem is that it is very hard for religion to evolve because of the fear of God. It is a vicious circle.

    At any rate, what this woman seems to be advocating is that 1) Her country goes to war with Chechnya 2) Chechnyan women are captured as sex slaves and offered to men 3) Not sure how much Sharia law applies in her country, but there is a high possibility of this actually being made a law, if enough people think this way!

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  19. Could not find a video with subtitles, but found more of the text on Jihadwatch – http://www.jihadwatch.org/2011/06/kuwait-female-political-activist-calls-for-legalizing-sex-slavery-to-protect-men-from-adultery-or-co.html

    “A female political activist and former parliamentary candidate has recommended the introduction of legislation to legalize the provision of enslaved female concubines for Muslim men in Kuwait in a bid, she says, to protect those men from committing adultery or corruption.

    The activist, Salwa Al-Mutairi, suggested apparently seriously in a video broadcast online that she had been informed by some clerics that affluent Muslim men who fear being seduced or tempted into immoral behavior by the beauty of their female servants, or even of those servants ‘casting spells’ on them, would be better to purchase women from an ‘enslaved maid’ agency for sexual purposes.

    She suggested that special offices could be set up to provide concubines in the same way as domestic staff recruitment agencies currently provide housemaids.

    We want our youth to be protected from adultery,” said Al-Mutairi, suggesting that these maids could be brought as prisoners of war in war-stricken nations like Chechnya to be sold on later to devout merchants.

    This is not religiously forbidden,” she added, indicating that Caliph Haroun Al-Rashid (766-809 AD) was married to one woman but possessed 200 concubines.”

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  20. Pingback: Slut Walk: Would women be in some ways empowered if they saw no shame in what they could risk being called? « The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  21. Pingback: What Are You Telling Your Son’s and Daughter’s About Fornication? | HOLY MAYHEM

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