The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

Sometimes one crime and how it is reported tells so much about a society.

‘Five drunken young men from a nearby farming village accosted a couple…, beating the young man and gang-raping the woman. It was the latest in a series of brutal sexual assaults and gang rapes of women in India’s booming capital and its sprawling suburbs.’ (Thanks for the link RenKiss)

“The attackers often do not see their actions as crimes, the police said, and do not expect the women they attack to report them. “They have no doubt that they will get away with it,” said H. G. S. Dhaliwal, a deputy police commissioner in New Delhi who has investigated several such cases.”

We shall soon see where the attackers get so much confidence from.

Let’s believe the attackers really don’t see a gang rape as a crime, or at least not a serious crime.

How do they get this idea? This news report illustrates how. It’s a perfect example of how sexual crimes must NOT be reported.

One example,

“In each case there has been an explosive clash between the rapidly modernizing city and the embattled, conservative village culture upon which the capital increasingly encroaches.”

Why this effort to explain the rapists’ point of view?

And the facts are inaccurate. These rapes are a result of clashes of culture?
So rapists (some with previous criminal backgrounds) don’t rape women from their villages? (Click if you think they don’t.)

Going by the above logic a 6 month old or a 2 year old would be safe in these ‘sleepy villages’ with narrow lanes ‘redolent of cow dung’, since these babies are not ‘enjoying’ any unheard of freedoms, or romancing forbidden lovers?

What about when village girls looking for jobs in Delhi get raped by WagonR owners?

“India’s economy is expected to grow 9 percent this year, and its extended boom has brought sweeping social change. The number of women in the workforce has roughly doubled in the past 15 years.”

Can’t really blame the rapists, can we? How are they expected to adjust to ‘sweeping social changes’ and women doubling in workforce?

So women who stay inside their homes and whose lives signify no social changes are safer?

More facts.

A 60 year old, raped by her husband’s employer in her house (this rapist was earlier acquitted in a rape case), another 77 year old raped by a rikshaw puller, an 8 year old in her house, a 12 year old by her driver, 17 year old daughter of a Grade IV employee in Lady Hardinge Hospital, a 9 year old in Sarojini Nagar in her house, a 3 year old

[All examples are from Delhi]

The victims are almost invariably young, educated working women who are enjoying freedom unknown even a decade ago. The accused are almost always young high school dropouts from surrounding villages, where women who work outside the home are often seen as lacking in virtue and therefore deserving of harassment and even rape.”

Examples above show this is not true.


Who gets raped?

Everyone. According to some statistics, only one in 69 rape cases in India are even reported. Only 20 % of those reported result in convictions for the rape accused.

Rapes happen across the social strata in India. In the Indian villages, it is the poor villager’s wife or sister or daughter who gets raped by another poor rowdy villager, and everyone from the local thanedar to the landlord. These rapes, unless the news becomes public due to unavoidable reasons, are never reported. It is reported in the newspapers or reaches the police only when a rape becomes part of a larger caste battle, family feud or political game. [Click to read and save the entire, very well written  article.]

“Seema Chowdhury, 20, the sister of one of the accused men, graduated from high school. But when she tried to enroll in college to become a teacher, her brothers refused to allow it. Young women who wander too far face many dangers, they argued.

“I wanted to do something in my life,” she said. “But they thought it was not a good idea.”

It’s so nice to see they are family men and want to see their sisters safe from men like themselves. Maybe such nice men can’t really be blamed for doing something they don’t see as a crime?

In comparison, the young woman who was raped here had unimaginable freedom. She had a job as an accountant at a garment factory and her own cellphone and e-mail account. Using those, she carried on a secret romance with a young man she met online despite the fact that her parents had arranged for her to be married to someone else, according to the police.”

Rape justification continues, so does victim blaming. The girl was asking for it by being in the wrong place, in wrong company, at a wrong time and doing the wrong thing – basically breaking all the rules these nice rapists lay down for their own nice and hence safe sister. Also note, the notorious cell phone and the internet being used to carry on a  ‘romance’ when her nice parents have arranged a nice match for her elsewhere. Maybe she asked for it?

If she was a Swiss Diplomat, working with full permission of her parents, not meeting her secret lover, she would have been safer?

When they picked up Tony …he was still drunk, Mr. Singh said.

“He was so shameless he narrated the whole thing without any sense of remorse,” he said. Tony later denied that he had raped the woman, according to the police report.

Tony had apparently assumed that the rape victim would not come forward because the shame would be too great.

Why don’t the victims feel more angry than ashamed?

This newly-wed’s rapists were also given a subtle benefit of rape justification’ because she probably opened the door and offered a glass of juice to her rapist and murderer. Did she know the rapist? That might justify the rape?

It has become a strategy to talk about a victim’s ‘shame’ instead of pointing out the rate of conviction, as reason for women not reporting.

If a victim was assured support instead of blame, do you think she would not have complained?

“on Feb. 5 a young man came into police station to report that his cellphone and laptop had been stolen. When the young man claimed they had been snatched near some isolated farmland at the edge of the city, Mr. Singh became suspicious: it was an unlikely place for a robbery.

He pressed for details, and eventually the young man admitted taking his girlfriend to the secluded area so they could be alone, and that five men had beaten him and raped her.”

Why didn’t the man want to say anything about the rape? He too had little faith in the police, and, he knew a couple being alone in a secluded spot would be seen as a bigger crime than a gang rape.

“I realized from the beginning that the girl would not help us,” the police said.

“The police will not be able to restore my honor.”

Is it really about honor?

Why don’t women report rapes to the police?

We all have heard about shame and honor etc. But there’s more.

Police. Police is the reason.

Have you ever taken a good look at the average Indian policeman? have you ever been to a police station?

A police station is an intimidating place. The cultural sophistication of the average policeman in India is pretty much that of the average roadside thug. Your average policeman hardly knows how to talk politely, is barely educated, is uncouth, brash and rude.

Is this the paragon of sensitivity a victim of rape will run to?

Add to this the rising number of custodial rapes which every one knows about. People will turn to a policeman only when they are desperate. Educated, rich people are abused by the police in India routinely and they have to call upon their networks and call upon little netas to get the policemen to treat them with some consideration.

Expect a policeman to humiliate a rape victim, turn her back, discourage her, be foul-mouthed or maybe rape her in turn.” [Click to read the article]


Such reporting tells a rapist that when his mother claims, “If these girls roam around openly like this, then the boys will make mistakes.” someone looking to justify rape will promptly quote her with some satisfaction.

What else do we say that gives rapists so much confidence?

Related posts:

The rapists are listening gratefully.

If he were a a woman he would have filed a case against a man everyday.


Another example of Victim Blaming by New York Times:
Victim-blaming in the New York Times’ Cleveland gang rape article.

(Thank You Ankita Prasad)


109 thoughts on “The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

  1. Sad, sad, sad. After your report on the reporting, I did not feel like reading the original pieces at all… the media, it seems, does not even bother to adopt a sensitive tone or consider that there is such a thing as victim-blaming.


  2. Very well written, IHM. Rape is, as we can see, more a crime of power. If one person can suppress another person supposedly weaker than themselves, they will do it, and rape becomes the perfect instrument.


  3. This post brought to mind an interesting (to me) statistic. The country with the lowest (reported) rape rate in the world is Saudi Arabia.

    Of course, a woman reporting a rape there is likely to be heavily flogged or even stoned for having sexual relations outside of marriage. Here, blaming the victim is taken the its logical extreme.

    Make the stakes high enough and no woman will ever talk about it, not even to her friends.


  4. Gosh! this gives me the creeps! 😦
    How can mothers justify their son’s heinous acts!!
    I remember going to a police station when I lost my mobile. It was a horrible experience. I got a moral lecture as to why “Educated women like me should not be walking on roads with a mobile in hand [at 7 Pm]” .. when I insisted on an FIR, three constables moved closer and tried to threaten.
    God Forbid , if I had to go meet them for something more serious. This “You asked for it” attitude needs to change and if the media too is insensitive, why would any1 report such an incident?


    • WHAT?! My God…women should definitely walk WITH A MOBILE at 7pm, since these creep cops aren’t bothered about protecting our safety, at any hour, in any circumstance and from any perpetrator…and THEY threatened you for wanting to file an FIR for a theft?


  5. That just makes me sick…
    and its sad.. sad and shameful that as a nation we can’t protect our women… or punish the wrong doers apporpriately and on time

    There is no justification for rape. sadly, in our country – justification and excuses are given to the rapist and no empathy for the victim 😦


  6. It’s horrifying that people still think that rape is something that women “ask for” or “deserve”. If a woman is dressed provocatively then she must want sex. Even if the woman wanted sex, how can the man assume it is with him? What makes men so bloody arrogant? Women do not need to justify their existence and their ways of doing anything. Rape is not just about sex. It’s about power. It’s about men wanting control over “things” they can’t have. It’s about men having some strange illusion about the importance of their own existence. The strangest argument i’ve heard is that women who stray from our culture are the women who get raped. But isn’t the act of rape “against” our culture also? Why is a woman “straying” from culture a problem and a man doing much worse (criminal) forgiven/overlooked?


    • Loved this: “Even if the woman wanted sex, how can the man assume it is with him? What makes men so bloody arrogant?” I guess that’s at the heart of it all – the arrogance, and the need to fuel that arrogance with acts that reinforce that misguided sense of power.

      Me – I loved that too 🙂


    • “Even if the woman wanted sex, how can the man assume it is with him? What makes men so bloody arrogant?”
      My guess would be that the arranged marriages culture conditioned these men to think women don’t have discretion when it comes to sexual partners.


  7. i have been reading about these horror stories since I was a kid and the attitude has not changed a bit, in India and in other parts of Africa where rape and abuses against women is deemed acceptable and excusable. I just can’t fathom the mentality at all


  8. The Indian Police is the biggest joke I have even seen. The words used to describe them are so appropriate. I am sure almost every woman here will have a story where she was eve teased / harassed, went to file a complaint and got lectured on the morals and culture of this great country.

    @IHM, what you say about family attitudes is so true. Why family, it is prevalent among the general public to be more forgiving of crimes against women.

    When I was studying for my Masters, not in India, but in USA, I had a fellow Indian student that asked me out via email. I politely refused and then it started. He started emailing me with threats. He would stalk me and call me on my cell phone so often that even if I did not pick up, just for the sheer volume my cell phone battery would drain out in two hours. I saved all of his emails and let him know that if he tried to contact me in any way in the future, I would report the matter to the Dean. He did not stop and I reported the incident. Here is where the fun started. Other Indian students who are supposed to be “liberated” and highly educated / receiving higher education turned against me. They thought I had spoiled the future of that stalker student for a very silly reason. I told them that I had given the stalker adequate warning, but still I was the culprit somehow. I was asked to withdraw my complaint but I stood my ground. The most hilarious suggestion was that I tie this person rakhi and forgive!

    If this is the attitude among the elite and the cream of Indian society, what hope can I have for the others?


    • @Clueless
      I am glad that you stood your ground. Tie a rakhi indeed!!!! Compromises like that will only encourage the culprit. From my experience highly educated does not necessarily mean sensible or civilized, and (very depressing to say this) this is specially true for Indian elite!


    • I had a similiar experience, though it was not as bad, i guess. when i was doing my masters in melbourne, there was a similar guy who got angry when i started avoiding him when he got too personal and professed his “love”. he just didn’t understand that no meant no. it was ridiculous. thankfully it stopped in sometime.


    • I have never understood this “tying a rakhi” business. Not only does this attitude play down crime against women, it also demeans the relationship between brother and sister. And I am glad you did what you did. I did the same thing in my university, only I complained directly to the campus police, and got complete support by the police. It was a positive experience (with the police, not the stalker, lol), so I will not say that all policemen are bad. But yes, that is the general attitude.


  9. Why are such crimes happening around Delhi and that too in such alarmingly large numbers? I think, the article was trying to ascertain the cause, pitting old India vs new India, glorifying old India and reproaching new India, in the process. Perhaps, the reporter should have tagged the article, satire. The reason outlined may be applicable to certain cases, not all as you have shown.

    What can be done to change the attitude of men? Education? I have found men with sound education having antagonistic feelings towards women’s freedom. I don’t mean to generalize but they are generally from north. I wonder why.

    me – Abhishek, men and women both react the same way to sex crimes, it’s deep conditioning. Most women also blame themselves and other women for sexual crimes! The police and the reporters come from the same society… 😦


  10. You’ve made a really important point, IHM. That the media and police is bandying about excuses and theories for the increase in sexual assaults to this, that and the other ‘modern trend’, without taking responsibility for, or an objective look at the real multiple causes. Rape is not a trend, it’s a crime, and they don’t want to say that.

    They should read yours and others blogs, undergo sensitivity training and workshops to understand what is at the bottom of rape…a sense of entitlement, power and oppression, among other things.

    That being said, I think there might better ‘analyses’ about sexual assault in sections of the media, these can also be highlighted as examples of more sensitive and accurate reporting.

    me – An honest analysis of any crime might help, what’s going on here is justification of a horrendous crime.


    • I agree…how many reports sit and analyse the guy’s background, his failures and mistakes and his attitudes and programming, and how he was brought up o think he could get away with rape and how many follow-up reports tell us how the guy was punished, or suffered?
      No, we only hear about what the woman who dares to speak up and report, suffers…more fear-mongering, and reinforcement of the message that having a voice puts you at risk, and that you have to protect yourself and bow your head in shame if it happens to you.

      But, this has got me interested…I will keep a lookout for better reporting of sexual assault that condemns the perp instead of justifying him.


  11. Nice analysis of the article. The New York Times doesn’t do a very good job at reporting stories concerning rape.

    Though I feel what gives rapists power is the blame always falls on the victim. Even rapists justify their crime by saying “she wanted it.”


  12. What the &^%$ is ‘unimaginable freedom’?! And is it any different from what men have always had?!

    This thinking is horrendous. Other than ensuring my son does not think this way and cutting it when it happens around me, what else can one do? Ideas, please.

    I have been at a police station – had to intervene in a marital dispute when the woman came to a few of us working at the NGO and asked for protection and help. And saw how the system just did not help. The women’s help line told her to try again and refused to do anything but direct the police to take cognizance, whatever that meant. There was no crime, only threat of an acid attack, so the police did jack shit. They held him in custody for a night until we could get her other help and shouted at her son (also being threatened) for not bringing him food in lock up. And while we were there, beat up a few people mercilessly to show them and us their ‘power’.

    Are policewomen any better? There need to be special police stations for crimes like this that also have mental health professionals and medical people at the same place. Small things like ensuring that the person does not have to tell her story more than once, does not have to go somewhere else for a medical test….small to get implemented but huge for a person already violated once.

    Sometimes, it is tough to see hope and things changing.


    • My husband and I were living in Srinagar during the ‘Shopian tragedy’. As a retired gynecologist from the US I was shocked to learn not one hospital or clinic in Kashmir had a ‘rape kit’ (PERK -physical evidence recovery kit) nor was any physician in Kashmir trained to use one.
      In an effort to assess awareness amongst local police, the CRPF, and the Indian army I questioned several ‘superior officers’ , the gist of their response:

      ‘If you get raped you were asking for it.’



      • Whose mistake is that . Common Logic says that men have bigger muscles than men. Only a woman who is working out can physically take on a man who is not well built – This needs to be explained to them, because they apparently do not understand it ! and like whimps they blame it on women –


  13. The main problem is that men, even decent ones, tend not to understand the magnitude of trauma that rape causes. Most of them feel it is just another type of physical assault, almost similar to a kick in the belly, which is blown out of all proportions by the women. The idea of ‘consent’ is also hazy in the minds of most Indian men–after all, don’t women always say ‘no’ even while meaning ‘yes’? There is this tacit sympathy for the rapist who gets caught–poor bloke, couldn’t get away when most of them do. Too bad for the victims that the whole justice-delivery machinery is dominated by these very men who have their doubts as to the gravity of the crime in the first place.

    Popular culture worldwide sends out mixed signals on the issue. I remember reading countless MBs where the male character forces himself on the female,the female struggles a bit before ‘surrendering to the pleasure’.

    There is an instance of marital rape in ‘Gone With The Wind’ , in circumstances intended to make the reader sympathize with the rapist more than the raped. Even ‘The Fountainhead’ by Ayn Rand contains a rape scene which the victim is supposed to have ‘enjoyed’.And the writers in both cases weren’t even men.

    Then there is this nasty saying ‘when rape is inevitable,you might as well enjoy it’. It gives me the creeps every time I hear it. Such sayings/depictions do have a subtle but profound effect on the way rape is viewed by the society at large. I remember reading about a case in the US where a man broke into a house, raped the occupant and escaped. The victim lodged a complaint with the police. The rapist, however, was so sure that the victim ‘liked’ it that he actually called her to ask her if she wouldn’t like to meet him again.The police were able to track the call and to catch him.


  14. Let me put this bluntly. Rapists generally are people who think that women are born simply to satisfy their pleasures. This is the kind of thinking they’ve harboured for ages. Like how in the Bible, God creates Adam and sends Eve to give him “company”. I have been to a Christian home where I found the Bible in a comic strip format in order to help kids read it. In that it is written that women are inherently evil because Eve was the one who manipulated Adam to eat the Forbidden fruit. Hence, women were cursed to suffer for eternity by God and that’s precisely why they have been given the ability to give birth painfully. Moronic, right? Methinks, radical feminists formulated their ideologies based on this. I may be wrong.

    To effectively tell rapists that what they’re doing is not acceptable, there is only one solution: Very harsh punishment. Rape victims think they have lost there honour, isn’t it? Though I find this honour thing very funny, I’m sure all these rapists have their own sense of honour that is, proud to be male, which is also very funny. These rapists must be surgically castrated. Surgically because we don’t want these bastards to die. Let them live the rest of their life as a “namard” and know what can be the consequences of rape.


    • @Bharathee Subramanian ,

      Very harsh punishment is possible only when a crime is reported. Are our police and courts women friendly? Do we have support structures in place to help an abused woman? Even in the US rape reporting is a challenge.

      Why women don’t report sexual assault a good paper on the topic http://scholarship.l​​i/viewcontent.cgi?ar​ticle=1430&context=f​acpub&sei-redir=1#se​arch=“men+admit+they​+would+rape+a+women+​if+were+sure+of+not+​being+caught+site:,e​du”

      Here a landmark study where men admitted they would rape a woman if they were sure of not being caught, Later more such studies came out and now desi police is agreeing to it. Good it is still not too late…​​alamuth/pdf/84PSA_C1​.pdf

      Before anything else Rape as has to be de-eroticized.

      About Bible and its stories, do you think Hindu religious texts are any different? There are ample of texts where women are considered decietful and mindless creatures given to ego and lust. That was the argument given by some freedom fighters in 1800s to prevent women’s entry into formal education and raising the age of consent from 9 yrs to 13.

      Radical feminism believed in toppling the whole structure of oppression called patriarchy. Replacing one ARCHY with another ARCHY only creates ANARCHY. 🙂 so that was all past and long gone. Half the world is into theird wave of feminism and other half is stillstuck in the first wave. 🙂

      Don’t you think the concept of ” mard” and “namard” are the root cause of sexual aggression and mysogeny? Some are raping to establish their mard hood and others are raping to establish the namard hood of those fail to protect women associated to them.

      Won’t it be better we call surgical castration as disarming the person of the weapon of assault.

      Desi Girl


      • Oh God.

        I just gave a Biblical example. I know that most religions are anti-female. And I was being sarcastic about the “namard” part. All these men who rape have a fake honour of being male. They deserve to be stripped of that and it also serves the purpose of disarming the abuser of his weapon.


    • Hahaha, Dexter…but I do understand your sentiments. I had the same exact feelings when I heard about the gang rape of an 11 year old girl. The rapists had the nerve to video tape the whole thing!!! I would be lying if I said I didn’t want go out and castrate them.


      • That is disgusting!! If women are “enticing” this men to rape them, are the three year old, 5 year olds, 77 year olds boys and girls doing the same?
        Oh yea, little boys get sodomized too. Shame on a society that doesnt protect its children and women.
        I believe wrongs keep happening because too many good people wont speak up. Awareness and victim rights are crucial. In cases where the sick and mentally disturbed person rapes a child and videotapes it, there should be a death penalty (proven beyond a reasonable doubt)
        Stricter laws, less corrupt officials, more awareness, more people speak up will bring changes.


      • I think the time has come for such extreme steps . We must teach our women the art of self defense . We must arm them , with pepper sprays , pocket knives , guns if possible . We must teach them how to fight back . This is no longer a crime . It is a war . It is outright war . Female infanticide . Dowry demands . Rape . Molestation . These are all acts of war . When are you going to fight back and use the language Men understand , i.e Violence ? A women must learn how to pack a punch , and where to pack it .

        Liked by 1 person

    • @Kislay,

      Even if all women are trained in self defence there will be times when even such training will fail to protect against sexual assault; think about situations like illness, danger to accompanying child etc.

      Violence only begets violence and it is not a permanent solution.

      Rape has to be de-eroticized; reporting should be facilitated followed by harsh consequences to the aggressor- minimum of 20 yrs behind bar if less then casteration should be mandatory.

      Desi Girl


  15. When I read the article two days back I was very upset, I am very glad that you decided to highlight the issue. Thank you IHM.


  16. The sad sad thing was that what shocked me the most was that this article was in the New York Times. I am more amazed that they are capable of printing such shoddy analysis than anything else.

    Also interesting were the comments in NYT. I was encouraged to see many pointing out the glaring stupidity of the “old vs new” frame of the article but what many were objecting to was the suggestion that traditional Indian culture supports rape. Which they would like to believe it does not – though I would beg to differ. As usual, there are those who have found a way to pin the blame of all this on Islam because Delhi is in the North. I guess it’s convenient to have a bogeyman like Islam to blame everything in one’s culture one doesn’t want to take responsibility for on.And of course, there were those that said oh the North is horrible, this would never happen in the South. All I can say is – I wish!


  17. -“men and women both react the same way to sex crimes, it’s deep conditioning. Most women also blame themselves and other women for sexual crimes!”
    I couldn’t agree more IHM.Deep conditioning is where the fault lies. Most, if not all ,girl victims themselves think that ,may know, may be somewhere its their fault.Otherwise why would they be targeted repeatedly.Why doesn’t a young girl feel safe even amongst relatives?
    Read a real story here IHM,and thanks for sharing Tina’s story..TC
    ‘Its not my fault..’,


  18. I read this article yesterday and have been fuming since then. The article manages to take our focus away from the victim and trivializes rape. The points you make here are all the things that are wrong with this article. NYTimes it seems of late has made a habit of publishing such victim blaming articles. Here is another example:

    Me – Yes I read this article too, let me link it to this post. Thank you for sharing Ankita.


    • This is so horrifying. And here I was , believing that victim-blaming took place mostly in the third world. If this is the state of affairs in the US, what hope can we harbour of things getting any better here.


  19. Its all the same – Be safe on your own ! No one comes to help later .. I myself am not sure if i will prefer going to police and the whole drama than killing the men responsible myself and bother of the consequence later !


  20. Pingback: -Untitled- « Pages from my mind

  21. This is so infuriating – too often when a woman is raped or assaulted the media and general public start the “victim blaming game.” They focus on how the woman is dressed, how she acted, what she did in her free time, etc to show that she is “provocative” or maybe she was “asking for it.” But women should not have to live in a society where if they live or act or dress a certain way, they would be inviting sexual assault. That’s just ridiculous.


  22. God knows how many Aruna Shanbhag’s live unseen and unheard in India. All the men in these rape cases will continue to live like Sohanlal Walmiki – that is India, where they worship women in temples as celestial beings and rape them in real life, no matter what their age is.


    • you know whats sadder about the Aruna Shanbhag case, her killer/rapist got away with just 7 years!! UN freakin Believable!!
      While that woman has been a living dead person for the past 38 years!!
      What does that say about the Indian justice system?


  23. What more do we do as a society to encourage rapists? So much more. There was a hit movie some years back, in Tamil. It was called Anniyan. The basic story was of a meek guy that snaps due all the social injustices and incompetencies he sees around him and turns into to serial, vigilante killer. He even kills the corrupt government official responsible for serving substandard meals on the train and pocketing most of the profits. Each time he encounters a situation like this, the responsible person is killed in a really gory fashion. He almost kills his own girlfriend who indulges in bribery. Everyone (including women) that saw the movie loved it. What a great hero- he does not even mind hurting his own girlfriend if she did something wrong. No one noticed one thing: The hero’s girlfriend gets harassed in the bus. The hero confronts the thug in a very meek way. Once the incident is resolved, the girlfriend turns on the hero and is upset at him for creating a scene and making her lose face in the society! Oh! yes, that guy did not get killed. Apparently, we (even women) do not see the violation of a woman’s basic rights as big a crime, say, as serving bad food in the train.


  24. That was an outstanding post, IHM. It makes the reader angry, frustrated, helpless and ashamed all at once. Sadly though, people who do commit rape would never feel any of this. I don’t have anything much to add, except that like you said, IF only women were sure of support, they would stand up against the entire system and seek punishment. Otherwise, there is simply no point. THE RAPIST RAPES HER ONCE. OUR MEDIA AND SYSTEM RAPE HER MULTIFOLD.


  25. it is too bad.
    the attitude that a woman is a “thing” with no right to thoughts/beliefs/feelings is a huge factor towards this, i feel …..

    and u know … the worst thing is i read this feeling so confident this wouldnt happen to me …. how justified is my confidence ? and if it does happen to me, will i have to confidence to approach someone for help ???


  26. Unfortunately our judiciary has not evolved with the way things are changing around us!
    1. Firstly- we see lot more women coming out and sharing the details of RAPE – but unfortunately the medical system- psychological support provided to the victim is so pathetic that a women feels like being Raped again ( MENTALLY!!)

    2. Even if its proved the time taken for the decision is so long- eg: 7 yrs trial for Rape- basically once incident impacts the person for life- no wonder people shy away from coming because it just takes too long for them to lead a normal like. Not everybody has a spportive family & friends to help them get through this.

    3. Its considered as honor lost- Petty people talk about petty issues like honor – if people around you do not have better to talk about anything else – its better for to not care about them at all rather than sticking to such pathetic people.

    4. Marital rape is an extension to this unfortunately thats not even registered anywhere..Marriage is not a license to Rape a girl. Sex still has to be consensual. its considered as an issue which is a FAMILY Matter!!!

    also- blaming the victim- i mean Rape is not something where you see a person and chemical changes happen and Boom!!! ITS a DELIBERATE ACT!!!! A punishable OFFENCE. Women’s DRESS code/ EDUCATION/ status in SOCIETY / hour of rape/ lifestyle has nothing to do with it. It can happen to anybody and the protection should be for EVERYBODY- are we saying that our judiciary decision will differ depending on the clothes the person was wearing before RAPE??? sounds absurd & feels pathetic!!!


    its time we should WAKE UP!!!


  27. Its not jsut India, its everywhere same is the case here too..
    and no there is no Reason or excuse for it, shameful act and nothing else..

    Sad but it is true they are not reported due to reasons , which is WHAT needs to be addressed, as more and more people come forward these criminals hopefully will think twice.

    Police alone can’t do anything about it till people help.

    I sometimes laugh and smile at all the comments you get on the articles you write upon, people dont try to tackle about problems and what to do about it, bringing case studies , bible stories etc is not the answer..

    Majority of the case studies are Foreign based which have no relevance to the INDIAN society , its a complete different ball game..

    The social structure the mindset of people in those case is completely different then Indians.

    Anyway What needs doing is awakening of people the MEN in the society who are with these Women who have had to suffer this atrocity, these men need to be taught that even though its about honour and what not, STILL this crime needs to be reported. Most women come under pressure of the Male counterparts to not report, so Till this is sorted I doubt if Women will report it to police .. This is the FIRST HURDLE.

    What police does or law court comes NEXT. we have this habit of starting a war or a debate on oh how police did this or court did that ,, HOLD on did we not learn One step at a time.. The first step if getting that 1 in 69 number to at least HALF of reporting… Once that happens obviously the police will have to do something IF not that then at least the MEN in the society will be seen as siding these ladies who suffer

    and that WILL BE A BIG BOOST.

    Now the criminal knows it wont be reported, No one will know who did it, The men with the women are too ashamed to bring it out … which si true we try to hide it ..

    BUT if the men stand with the women who suffer then this myth is broken .. The criminal knows he WILL be reported, IF found out Other MEN will take action against them

    So instead od Quoting cases , or bible or religion or curseing the police or the court , Let us WORK on it ..


  28. I find it troubling that whenever rapes or assault are reported, they are passive crimes. A person “is raped”, not “Someone is accused of rape”. I understand that a person is innocent till proven guilty, but this is the reporting even in cases where the rapist is known. I think that language makes it the victims fault, not the assailants.


    • I read that too Ally..that article is disgusting! You would think doctors have common sense. A vagina is a muscle that contracts and expands. “Looseness” has nothing to do with all of this nonsense.


    • Eh!!!

      1. Unmarried women cannot have consensual sex in this country?!

      2. How does this test even work?! How does this determine whether a woman is raped or not? How does this even begin to identify the rapist?

      3. Psychological treatment to women at this time is winning half the battle of giving them a normal life after the trauma. Instead, our society, and apparently it includes the doctors and the government, tell them the rape is their shame?!

      I don’t even see how ANYONE can think this is a sensible procedure …


  29. Last month/week ( I don’t clearly remember), an article in a local daily had published a story along with blurred pictures of couples having sex in parks in Pune. What was worse was the sex between the couples was forced by a group of hooligans who enjoyed watching the scene and recording the same on their cell phones *barf*. In one of the pictures, a madman was laughing at the camera while the background showed a couple having (forced) sex on the grass. You could literally make out the womans naked thighs & her ‘lover’ on top of her doing the act.

    OMG, it was horrifying 😦

    Isn’t this rape?

    p.s- Why the hell must they publish pics in a daily? What all they do for ‘stories’. There wasn’t even a follow up.


  30. It’s a sad fact that the police can blame the victim. It’s not only in India, but in America too. There are good cops, but not everyone is lucky. Cops aren’t educated on how to be sensitive to abuse. I think it might be better to talk to a female cop in cases like these.

    What I hate is when people judge the victim for choosing not to report. It’s a damned if you, damned if you don’t situation. I’ve known victims that have said the court prtocess is more re-traumatizing.


  31. Wonderful post Trampling on the Rights of those considered to be inferior was never considered a crime till the advent of Capitalism and Liberal Democracy

    me – That was my first thought Charakan, ‘after she was just an uneducated maid – such things happen to these people.’ ‘Maybe she cried rape when he didn’t buy her a new pair of chappals’… Glad our law makers were liberal and democratic.


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  37. Reading the justifications for rape and how “villages” are being “encroached on”, they make it sound as if some endangered species is losing its habitat and is preying on the “big bad humans” who encroach – like a tiger or lion losing forest cover and going for the farmer’s sheep!

    What the hell??


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