Desi Girl argues,
Marriages are sold to women in a glossy cover, remember once a woman got married she got to wear good clothes and jewelry that was forbidden for single women.
It gave her a free license to talk about sex and sleep with a man who everyone assumed would love her.
For all these benefits all she had to do was cook, clean, make babies and keep every one happy.
Yes in lieu of her services she is provided a roof over her head, food and protection from other predatory men.
We also know women could be killed if they tried having relationships or children without getting married (they can still be killed for this). If they had children they were not allowed to put them in schools or open bank accounts for them.
So basically the society made it difficult for women to stay unmarried.
Once there was no choice, there was desperation.
“…it is the daughter in law who agrees to enter into matrimony who has to establish herself and win hearts. Once mutual trust is established her in-laws are going to go out of the way to pamper her.”
Pamper her so much that remaining in touch with her family becomes ‘freedom’.
“…in-laws give the new bride time to adjust and allow her freedom to remain in touch …instead of treating her as an acquired property.”
When being treated as ‘acquired property’ is an option, freedom becomes immoral.
“…if we take Indian marriages in general, whose freedom is curtailed and whose isn’t? Will your (a man’s) in-laws ever tell you what clothes are appropriate or what your working hours should be?”
Marriage gives special privileges to women?
“Hindu married women are covered head to toe in “marriage symbols” (men don’t bother to show their status), … women fast, pray etc etc for this male figure who continues to stay in his own house, being mama’s little boy, doesn’t have to sacrifice career for kids.. …what do women get in return?
And lets not get started on the dowry angle…?”
Once ‘sacrifice’ became a ‘custom’, no more ‘pampering’ was required.
“…about a woman going to stay with in-laws. That very idea should change. Married couple should stay wherever they choose: by themselves, in HER house or HIS house with mutual understanding..
Since none of these things (and many more) are not even given a thought to as of now, marriage is indeed over-rated.”
If Indian society saw marriage as an option, and not as the only goal in a woman’s life, do you think some of our social problems (like female feticide, dowry, domestic violence or fear of social stigma in case of sexual crimes) might become easier to deal with?
Edited to add:
I would love to read what you feel, please consider yourself tagged! Do let me know if you write a post in response to this question.
Here is what some other bloggers feel,
1. Phoenixritu – Marriage: The great Indian scam.
2. Ruchira – Yes I am single. So?
3. Pixie – My answer to IHM’s question
4. Shilpa Deshpande – Marriage
5. Sandhya – Marriage: Obligatory or Voluntary?
6. Shail – Is marriage an overrated institution?
7. Alankrita – Greener Pastures.
8. Richa – On marriage and such.
9. Siddhesh ‘Ravan’ Kabe – Oh for the love of marriages!