(Thanks for sharing the link Desi Girl)
I am not sure I agree. My response in italics.
A marriage arranged by the family is a wiser option because parents have experience of being married, seeing marriages work etc.
1. Most Indian parents accept giving or taking of dowry as a part getting married. Some parents believe dowry might ensure happiness for their daughter. We know the amount of unhappiness this belief causes (click to read).
2. Most Indian parents feel it’s okay for ladki-wale (the bride’s family) to tolerate unreasonable demands from the groom’s family.
Somehow they feel a relationship that begins with one-upmanship, gender bias and bullying will ensure happiness and security for their daughter. It doesn’t.
3. Most Indian parents allow their daughter’s life and choices to be controlled by her husband’s family – like, how much she studies, whether or not she continues working etc.
I know of an Electronics engineer, whose parents promised the groom’s family she was not going to work – this was the groom’s condition. The girl wanted to work. The family felt it was more important for her to get married, how unhappy such a marriage made her did not matter.
Experience does not automatically give maturity.
5. Some parents see marrying within the caste and community as more important than the couple’s happiness.
6. In case of boys, parents often prefer a fatter dowry to a more compatible match.
We can call such marriages cultured marriages. In Arranged Marriages your family supports you in making your marriage work. Those who opt for arranged marriages, have the pressure of the family and the society in their subconscious mind to make the marriage work.
1. An average Indian parent’s method of supporting a daughter in making her marriage work can be generally summed up in two words, ‘Please Adjust’.
2. Indian parents see a daughter’s happiness as a luxury, her marriage is seen as more important than her happiness. Her happiness is a matter of fate.
3. They feel it is crucial for their standing in the society that she should Get-Married-and-Stay-Married, and that everybody sees her as ‘Happily Married’. Even if she is not.
4. Most Indian parents feel they should not interfere in their daughter’s life once she belongs to her in-laws.
Society also considers arranged marriages good and wants such marriages to be successful.
Only Happy marriages can be called Successful marriages. Does it really matter how the couple met if they are happily married?
A responsible society would support happiness for all its members.