Dreams by Tj91

In the ‘A Letter to The Future Contest’, I had loved the letter by the winner, Shivika Saxena.

“Dear Mom, Dad, Sis, Special Someone

… I don’t even know whether you’ll get a chance to read this letter but I am still writing it because … if some day suddenly I am taken away from all the people I love,  …without being able to say something to everyone I care about …will make my heart die again. I was never good at goodbyes but I cannot make my final goodbye so dry that even my memories begin to wither. ….

… Now with this letter written I can go with a free heart and mind leaving all the adversities and feeling liberated from all the pain…”

(Click to read the entire letter)

This letter made me long for a similar letter from my daughter. I wondered what she would have written in her letter… I could easily imagine, of course, but that was no comfort.

Yesterday afternoon when I visited Tejaswee’s account on Deviant Art, I finally found something I had not seen before. This was published on Feb 10 2008, almost three years ago…

Dreams

by ~Tj91

DREAMS

What do you do when the days go bad,
When all that was good, seems suddenly, sad,
When the last vestige of joy seems gone,

Think of things gone by, gone good
Not of how things could be, how they should,
Would, may have turned out
Don’t fill your mind with so much doubt!
Oh! If I could put your mind at rest
But still, I’ll do my very best…

When things are bad
Oh, so sad,
Sit yourself down, and try to think
The tears that drop, do not blink
Back, let them fall,
And to yourself honestly tell all.
Allow not your biases to decide true or false,
And you’ll come to the bottom of what mauls
Your heart,
And then let it part
Fall into the soft arms of dreams
And sleep, my heart, sleep…!

I was glad to find something by her that I had not read before. She would have been twenty today. I am just grateful she came into our lives and although she had to leave a little earlier than we would have liked, I hope to continue to remember her with a smile, today and always.

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54 thoughts on “Dreams by Tj91

  1. Ohh IHM, I have tears running down my cheeks as I read this! I went to Tejaswees blog today morning and read her Letter to the Future once again!
    Hugs IHM tight hugs.
    Happy Birthday TJ ! You are sorely missed even by people who’ve never met you …..

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  2. That fits so perfectly well!
    I’d like to believe she is communicating with you in different forms, through dreams or through poetry or through those C&H strips. Its more than mere coincidence.
    And it will give her peace to see that you are smiling.

    Take care IHM. God bless.

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  3. You know, my husband was reading up on stuff that people who were dying said they wished they had done:
    1. Not worked so hard.
    2. Been around more when the kids were small.
    3. Talked more to people who meant a lot to them.

    Tejaswee’s still talking to you. 🙂 Her heart may be sleeping, but her dreams will always be around. (((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))

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  4. Hi IHM

    Wishing you a very happy, smiling day today on Tj’s BirthDay
    May you get all the strength to fulfill Tj’s wishes, dreams

    Lots of lots wishes

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  5. Hi IHM, Hugs to you, this message came to you at the right time, and it has so much of profoundness. As rightly said in the post of Jan 17 , you should ‘celebrate her’ today !!

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  6. The smile that flickers on a baby’s lips when he sleeps- does anyone know where it was born? Yes, there is a rumor that a young pale beam of a crescent moon touched the edge of a vanishing autumn cloud, and there the smile was first born in the dream of a dew-washed morning.”
    – Rabindranath Tagore

    It does connect right IHM .. your dream and then this? Maybe this wasn’t there earlier; this is Tj’s gift to her mom on her birthday – and a wonderful one which shall start a new dream – of ensuring that hers live on. Maybe she’s telling you that there’s a ground where we shall meet again for hours and hours for the fun that remained unfinished through this sudden discovery. Maybe it’s her way of telling us that she dreamt of all her birthdays to be celebrated in the most fun way – And we shall Tj for sure.

    Happy Birthday Star… the dreams begin 🙂

    “The Atman is the light: the light is covered by darkness: this darkness is delusion: that is why we dream” (Bhagavad Gita 5:15) – through dreams you are leading us to light, Tj! 😀

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  7. Touching lines.
    Shows maturity of thought far beyond her years.

    Though I never knew her or even you, somehow, these posts of yours on Tejasvini have struck a chord in my heart.
    Like you I am also a parent and can fully empathise with you in your current situation.

    My prayers on this special day.
    Regards
    GV

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  8. Pingback: Wahan se kabhi hum bhi guzre the … « Deviant Wave

  9. Thinking of you and your family so much today, IHM. TJ lives on through her words, her love of life and her special personality……So many of us who haven’t met her celebrate her spirit today – because she is truly someone to celebrate.
    Love and hugs.

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  10. Happy birthday to Tejaswee..

    What I will say is that How proud you would be of being a mother to such a beautiful person.. The one who has touched so Many people ..

    Have a smile and I am sure she is looking down and smiling …

    God bless

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  11. Happy birthday, Tejaswee…I am sure you will keep surprising your mom with new letters or something which is new to her, thus telling her that you are with her and think of her, as she is doing now about you!

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  12. Hello IHM,

    See, it is Tejaswee’s way of telling you she is still with you. Coming in your dream few days before her birthday and then enabling you find this poem just a day before her birthday- it is a wonderful sign.

    Happy birthday to Tejaswee.

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  13. she can hear all your silent thoughts when you think of her , she can see your tears (sometimes happy sometimes not so happy :]) when they fall from your eyes , she can understand every single itch in your heart when you think of her,the longing. she is reading every wish made by thousands of people just FOR her. she’s with you.
    even now on her 20th birthday, I guarantee ma’am, she’s becoming stronger in her own little world 🙂

    Happy Birthday TJ !

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  14. Hugs IHM, that’s a beautiful gift she left for you for her birthday.
    May her soul be joyous and filled with bliss on this day and always remembering the beautiful life and loving family she was fortunate to have during her short journey of life on this planet.

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  15. 🙂 🙂 After all she is an angel and she knows how to bring a smile on her wonderful mom’s face. I am sure she is definitely gonna weave her magic again and again and make sure you think of her with a twinkle in your eyes.

    Hugs and loads of love

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  16. What better a day than 19th , to find that letter? Its obvious that its from TJ to u 🙂
    Happy Bday TJ … i dint know u in person.., but i knew of you through my cousin who ‘s a great friend of urs!
    God bless and rest your soul in peace forevermore….

    Love Luck Light and Prayers coming your way IHM ….
    Stay blessed….

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  17. hugs IHM, I have a feeling you will go through life seeing notes and signs from that lovely girl of yours.
    much love and prayers.

    Me – I hope so too the mad momma, but even if there is never another dream like this one, I think I can live with the memory of this one.

    Like

  18. Pingback: When we surprise ourselves. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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