Words do heal.

Some nights ago I spent a sleepless night trying not to remember what could not be changed. Couldn’t discuss it with my husband who had fever and body ache, or the son… They too are trying not to think about the same thing. There was no energy (or will) to switch on the laptop.

In the morning, R, my sister in law, sat next to me and said she understood that the pain we felt could not be felt or understood by anybody else. She said she realised that there are and will be indescribable lows. She said she wanted to know what were the images that I couldn’t get out of my mind. She didn’t say, “You should not think about it..” (If one could stop, one would not (ever) think about something that is so painful, anyway).

I didn’t think telling her was going to help… How could anything help? But the severe headache was subsiding and I told her what troubled me and she explained why it shouldn’t. She had been with us outside the ICU and inside, holding Tejaswee’s hand and saying “We love you Tejaswee.”  She had been with us when we explained what was happening to her and how brave she was, and how proud of her we were and how we were going to walk out of the ICU together. She had read out her friends’ ‘Get Well Soon Cards‘ to her when I couldn’t bear to. Now she explained to me why everything that happened was exactly what one would do if it it had to be done all over again. How regrets were natural…

And yes it helped. Which makes me think of the grieving parents who do not have such support. Words do have the power to heal. Thanks R.

Here are some words we are printing on top of a favorite photograph of Tejaswee and reading everyday to remember, to remember her and not hide her photographs and memories. We do wish to be able to talk about her with a proud, loving smile. (Though we might cry sometimes too).

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she’d want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

-David Harkins – Thanks CAT.

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100 thoughts on “Words do heal.

  1. lovely lines…and yes talking about it does help…even if we keep feeling that the listener never will ever really understand the depth of our misery..

    Hugs IHM….stay strong…

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  2. The loss is irreparable but time is the best healer IHM. You can never forget her but gradually it would hurt less. It is good that you are writing again, this would help. If possible start shooting the birds and animals around you, like you used to do. Tejaswee loved animals and so do you, you might feel connected to her this way.

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  3. What a lovely poem and thought.
    I really admire you IHM. I can’t imagine the pain your family is going through But ur words n actions and Tejaswee’s thoughts are very very inspiring. Hugsss.

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  4. Way to go IHM!!! If only i can get a portion of your strength… If only i see all that life has to offer instead of cribbing on trivial issues…

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  5. Your s-i-l is so wonderful.

    I didn’t have 5% of the support I needed and deserved when I lost my son…but EACH word spoken by those who did care to reach out helped. And yes, I think we have choices in how to respond, whether with a negative perspective or a somewhat positive one…and I understand totally about the images you cannot get out of your mind…it’s sweet of your s-i-l to be with you and not deny your pain, but to offer you her words of comfort.

    I think what you are doing, reading aloud, being open and upfront about your feelings is phenomenal, we can’t run away from grief. If we do, we also run away from all the good memories and vibes the person left behind.

    P.S. Tejaswee has beautiful teeth and hair, and her eyes are so full of I-don’t-know-what, but it’s a quality you don’t see in most teenagers these days…caring? compassion? thoughtfulness? sweetness? It feels like I can look straight into her soul thru her eyes…and I really value people like that who have no pretensions and no ego hiding their true self.

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  6. Your sister in law is a wonderful lady. Yes, there are a lot of grieving people who do not have support of the right sort. Hiding photographs and memories are resorted to by many of those grieving. Your wish to be able to talk with pride and love about your daughter is the way IHM… and crying at times is alright too.
    Those are such lovely words to be engraved
    Hugs.

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  7. Sometimes, words may seem empty and sometimes they may help. I hope there will always be people around you who will not tire when they hear the same words. I hope when you turn you will always find a friendly shoulder, a warm heart, and receptive ears. May God be with you, IHM, giving you strength and carrying you when you are too tired to walk.

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  8. IHM, I don’t know what to say. No, i couldnot do this. I lost a near relative, sometime back. He was young and healthy and so ambitious. Lost him suddenly.

    So I can say that living with the memories become a pain or an inspiration depends on you. And u are just on the better and the stronger path.

    take care

    RESTLESS

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  9. Dear IHM, Thank you for sharing. I can only guess that others who have been through such grief will find some solace from your sharing. I pray that you find the strength you need. I do agree that pushing aside memories is not possible – how can one ‘not think about’ someone who was such an essential part of one’s life? It is better to remember, and remember with pride and love, as you are trying to do. Repressing grief will not help – it may just help in the sense of portraying an ok front, but inside, it will be there, so do grieve in your own way, and I am glad you have someone sensible and loving with you in your grief.

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  10. Happy to note that you’re showing immense courage and drive to carry on venting your feelings. If sharing here could alleviate at least some of that mountainous grief, then do please carry on IHM.

    Our thoughts are with you.

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  11. Such powerful and meaningful words IHM. Truth is so hard sometimes, it is so hard to believe that some events have happened. Some pains last forever, memories cannot be wiped off. My prayers your way and your family’s way.

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  12. Beautiful words perfect for an angel who stole all our hearts and flew away. Love you for saying “to remember her and not hide her photographs and memories”.

    Hugs and Tejaswee will live forever and ever in our hearts.

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  13. Hugs IHM… Words and time heals..
    Those words are simply beautiful and you have a wonderful support system. (Touchwood!)
    God Bless you guys with strength and courage…

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  14. Amazing strength you have…I totally bow that strength…..and indeed words can be great healers…I am glad they are working that way for u….I am sure apart from that time will be greatest healer for…God bless you.

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  15. You are so brave IHM ! What a lovely SIL you have.

    Great poem and I am so glad that they are helping u heal and process your grief. It must be really hard for you and the family…sending lots of prayers and hugs your way to let u know that u r in our thoughts and we are there too for you..

    Love

    2Bs mommy ( IiNZ)

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  16. God bless your sister-in-law. and all your loved ones who are standing strong with you and yours . God bless them all.

    Apt lines for this delight of a girl whose eyes shine with something unexplainable.
    ((((((hugs)))))))
    love
    Abhi

    There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love. W .Irving

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  17. I wish we had seen these words when my sister died (a long time ago). We did all the “wrong” things in those words and still suffer for it today. The Internet has made so much possible including, and perhaps best of all, access to wise people and wise words.

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  18. It is very easy for all of us to say that you and your family must try and forget as to whatever has happened.I can understand the pain you have gone through.
    All I would say that it was God’s will and we humans have no direct communication with Him

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  19. do cherish her and celebrate her.
    those who tell you to not think are just ignorant even if caring.
    even decades later, when others might have moved on, we carry them in our hearts and thoughts.
    and trust me, she is with you, just like you are with her, spiritually and emotionally, even if not physically.
    there are times you are going to hate the world and times, when you smile at something small you shared. its not easy.

    i don’t have words to heal your pain, though i wish i could wave a magic wand and make it all right for you.

    keep walking, keep moving, keep smiling, keep dancing with her.

    praying for you.
    and yes support helps, even if it doesn’t solve. hoping no parent would have to face what you face, but if they face, hoping they get support .

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  20. Could not shake this off my mind since I read about this today! I just stumbled on your blog through someone else’s and learnt of the grief and have been shocked ever since! I mean I have never known anyone even in cyber space who has been a victim of Dengue or Swine Flue or any such thing lately. This hit very close to home!

    May god give you and your family immense strength IHM. May you always remember her with a smile on your face. The picture you posted here shows a lot of strength and hope and joy in your daughter’s heart. God bless her soul.

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  21. Yes IHM, words and time do heal. And your words are so apt. We sometimes chose not to get healed, to hold on to the impossible, to grieve what we lose, instead of cherishing the good memories. We may not have the strength to be positive all the time-but you have already taken the step forward. May God give you strength.

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  22. I don’t know IHM. I think sometimes you need the time to grieve. Moving on too soon can just mean one is forcing oneself to do what doesn’t come naturally. It will clearly vary from person to person, but I don’t think I could begin to come to terms with something like this for a few months at the very least…

    Only speaking for myself. Others might find better ways of coping.

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  23. I don’t know IHM. I think sometimes we do need the time to grieve. Otherwise we’re just forcing the process – like trying to force a wound to heal. This will vary from person to person, but I don’t think I could move on until at least a few months had passed.

    Just speaking for myself here…

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  24. Beautiful picture of Tejaswee IHM. And the lines literally gave me the goosebumps! Words do have power to take us through tough situations. They help us think clearly, something we cant do when we are troubled.

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  25. lovely words. i wish people take inspiration from you. but honestly every time i think about u and ur daughter and tears come into my eyes
    i wonder how you are facing the situation
    may God give all of you strength .
    lots of hugs

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  26. Your S-I-L is wonderful. Please do not stop thinking or talking about Tejaswee. Give it time. Talking about it helps. Crying is good too. You will never be able to come to terms with it. But, with time, it will hurt less.

    Surround yourself with people who are willing to listen to you. Get all the support people are willing to offer you. You are such a strong lady.

    Tejaswee’s picture looks lovely. The words are very healing.

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  27. words heal… time heals… but it will still be hard for none can offer what that one bond gave us…

    the fond memories that we once shared are the only ones that will keep us going… not thinking about them or keeping away their pics are a big no no… cos as someone said they indeed have been an essential part of our life… how can we just keep that aside jus cos we have to move on… jus cos they arent around physically… its not about moving on – its about goin ahead… with them… for them…

    i think thts a way of honouring them – their soul… in Teju’s case – everything that she has left behind – her words, her vision, her sprightly smile, her naughty posts, — the love that she had for life… she is an inspiration… n such inspiring souls never die – they only evolve into something better – something higher… she will always live in our hearts…

    love ya Tejaswee – we sure do miss you`

    n that was a lovely poem… hugs IHM…

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  28. Firstly aunty thank you for using this photo. Infact i had even forgotten about it. It was only a week ago i was going through photos in my camera and suddenly there she was. I remember it was the 1st day of our college fest and she was saying how shes not all decked up because fest is the only time when we actually get to see loads of guys!!! and i remember telling her SHUT UP you are looking pretty as ever, because she was just being herself and thats what important.
    P.S. i think i found her pretty because she was wearing a green sweater my favourite color!!..:))

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  29. Where there is pain let there be healing. I am not sure how good “trying not to remember” will do to you. It is not easy, IHM, but healing and acceptance come sooner if we accept pain and not resist it.

    “Researchers had subjects dunk one of their hands into a bucket of ice-cold water and see how long they could stand it. They gave about a third of them this instruction: Focus all your thoughts on the pain. The next third was told to distract themselves from the pain by imagining their bedroom at home. The last third were told to try to suppress all thoughts of the pain.

    The average length they could keep their hand in the water wasn’t much different between the three groups: About two minutes. But there was a difference in how quickly the pain went away. It went away quickest for those who had focused their attention on the pain. The pain lingered longest for those who had tried to suppress all thoughts of the pain.”

    “a href=”http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Frost58.html”>Just say ouch

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  30. (((Hugs))
    I have been a silent reader of your blog and have read every single post of yours. I have become numb with shock after reading about Tejaswee. IHM, you rock, you are an epitome of strength.
    Prayers to you and your family.

    D

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  31. Beautiful lines IHM!

    And talking does help.

    I know Tejaswee is smiling up from the stars at how brave her mother is being and all the support her family is recieving.

    May God bless her soul and your family.

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  32. Couldn’t agree more with Sulo’s comments IHM..especially the part..”its not about moving on – its about goin ahead… with her”…sometimes we have to sustain unbearable pain to reach a point where it becomes bearable..you might be going through that stage now..but you are making sure that you keep her memories alive and cherish her life and the good times that will always be there with you…..may you have the strength to handle each day at a time with as much positivity as possible…you are so right about the being open about the grief…we, the readers of your blog are always there to listen to you…Hugs! Looking at Tejaswee’s photo ..the name is so apt for her!

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  33. Your sister-in-law seems to be a wise lady, indeed. Words do heal. The pain, perhaps, ,may not really, ever go away, but with time we are given the strength to endure it. Do take care.

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  34. Those were so apt and such beautiful words, IHM. Yes words do heal. Hats off to your sis-in-law!. In fact everyone in your family,IHM. Its amazing to see how you’ve found a support system in each other while coping with these difficult times. God bless you all 🙂

    Hugs!

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  35. dear mam,
    we read ur blog..seriously instead of wasting ur time on this blog,pls folllow the belwo things..this might anger u or fellow readers but iam sure only the below will help u..dont waste ur time on blogging
    1.go out and distribute 10 packs of lunches to beggars
    2.go to an orphanage for children and distribute fruits and one packet of biscuit to them for the next five weeks
    3.go and spend a lucnh put with some old age home

    wht u have lost is lost.so stop ggoing on withat on the blogging
    do some good deeds instead of preaching and writing
    urs lovely
    suku

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  36. Words may not heal but help us carry on with every day life, I think. The love of our friends is a way for us to face the harsh realities, and, believe me, not one has life left unscathed..

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  37. Words may not heal but help us carry on with every day life, I think. The love of our friends is a means for us to face the harsh realities of life with more courage, and, believe me, not one of us has life left unscathed..
    Caring for your family- because your son and your husband do suffer as much as you- doing the things you used to do, doing the things your beautiful, charismatic daughter would like you to do, might help a lot, too.
    Thinking of you, really wishing I were somewhere nearby to be able to meet you.

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  38. Yes IHM, and do open up and have a good conversation with many people.. Different people will respond to parts of your grief differently so having a good support system around you helps..

    And dont ever ever close up and cringe/grieve inwards.. And start doing the routine things slowly.. even though it may be painfully painful..

    Have gone thru this that I write with so much of knowledge.. You are doing good..
    One of my friends a year after my husband passed away at an age of 32 told me that I am putting on a brave /happy face and now I need to internalize that face.. and that helped.. Till then I was putting it up for people (at work and at home) and was crying inside.. The day I decided that I need to feel happy (for what I have) and keep myself brave/strong to face the world, I started feeling very differently..

    Give it your time.. Luv

    (and it now 3 yrs, and not a single day without thinking of him, but the last that I cried was when I heard a song that both of liked on Radio 2 days ago).. but overall I am feeling that I have crossed the chasm..

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  39. Tejaswee is so, SO beautiful! And you are very brave. I can see you are able to be strong, for the most part, in remembering your daughter with love and joy… I hope you will find that strength bolstered by your memories – and that of others as well – to get you through this terribly difficult time.

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  40. This may come as a surprise, but Blogworld is very much part of our real lives too.

    This is a way to reach out, to hear others, and to vent our feelings, without needing to be judged by anybody!

    To me and every other blogger, this ‘virtual world’ is actually quite real!!

    P.S: Distributing meals to beggars – I have tried that once, and man! They swarmed upon us like a pack of vultures!

    There was hardly anyone on the roads. We opened a bag with some parcels of rice and curry, and gave it to the only two beggars on the road (they were dressed like sanyasis). And in the next 30 seconds, they emerged from every corner of the street and surrounded us, arms outstretched, voices loud and hoarse. We did our best to distribute the stuff as quickly as we could and escape!

    It was a weird and scary experience!

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  41. What a lively picture of hers! And yes grieving helps, don’t try to keep it inside! Have seen my mother not speaking for days and then the impact of it all on her health…

    You know when people used to tell us, “jo hona so ho gaya, ab us baare mein mat socho…”, even I used to think why are they saying so and how is it in our control. If our thoughts were in our control, I’m sure nobody would like to think about those painful moments. Its almost an year and half but not even a single day goes without remembering my brother.

    Take care, I’m sure only you can know what as a mother you must be going through right now.
    Don’t know if you read hindi? If yes, read this poem which my mother wrote on motherhood the first day she held her pen after my brother’s death – http://godhulikiran.blogspot.com/2010/05/blog-post.html & this http://godhulikiran.blogspot.com/2010/02/blog-post.html

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  42. God bless IHM. Yes everyone says time heals everything, but as you said no one knows the pain that one goes through.

    The pain is there, as you mentioned we should look forward to tomorrow towards brighter and remember how Tejaswee was , all the good time you all had YEs go and do what she would have thought and planned. I am sure she is up there looking at all of you and It will hurt her tooo , to see you all like that.

    Talking helps a lot, YES it does, I am telling you from expereicne I am not a talked myself, I mostly keep everything to myself but when ever i talk it out it makes one feel light..

    Hats off to your sis-in-law and all the friends and well wishers around, it makes living and bearing easy with all the people who suppsort so god bless them all too.

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  43. You are a very brave woman IHM. You have chosen to share your grief with your well wishers and are looking for positive ways to deal with the sorrow. What an irony it is IHM, there are millions of girl children in our country that are unwanted and uncared for. But God chose to take away the one that was valued and cherished. Probably that explains – Your daughter was God’s favourite. He gave her the most loving family where she spent the best years of her life. When it was the time to face the harsh realities of life, he called her back.

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  44. Hi… I came here following your comment on The NRI website, about Mamootty and Mohanlal of all things, and my original purpose for coming here – to find your article about Shahrukh and Amitabh – was quickly lost.

    I’m moved by your words and the humanity that flows through them. More than that, I simply offer my deepest condolences to you and your family, and wish love and light upon you all.

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  45. Lovely words and SO apt for the picture you’ve posted. She seems such a wonderful girl.. I’m sure you would be filled with pride when you talk about her. One thing I’ve learnt so far is to speak out when I want to cry.. if I don’t find anyone trustworthy to speak out at that time… I just speak out to myself by penning down my thoughts. You are doing a good thing by speaking about Tejaswee and keeping her in your thoughts… because as much as you try to get them out of your mind… the thoughts stay firmly planted and that clash of keeping vs pushing makes it harder. Our loved ones never want us to forget them or make them our cause of misery… You seem to have a very good support network. I’m sure talking about Tejaswee and remembering her in this space certainly helps you though you might not be able to feel it at this moment. Will remember Tejaswee in my prayers.

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  46. The pic of Tejaswee is so heartwarming. Take your time to grieve IHM, you have a wonderful family.Some days the pain will be more than the others but Tejaswee will always be your bright shining light. I love the wordings and Im sure Tejaswee is that brightest star in the night sky looking out for all of you.

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  47. Beautiful words, expressed so well.

    Of course, I firmly believe in the fact that words do heal – dont close your heart IHM, open up, talk abt her more and more, tell us all the troubles that pass through your mind this moment…by sharing with everyone, by talking it aloud to someone, your heart heals – it finds some solace.

    Hugs and take care.

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  48. Thats a lovely pic of Tejaswee. And the words are indeed powerful… they give direction to your thoughts!!
    Good to see that your SIL is thoughtful and so supportive.
    Hugs to you IHM. Your strength is awesome, inspirational! Honestly speaking, I’m in tears whenever i think or read about Tejaswee.

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  49. “i carry your heart with me”

    i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
    my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
    i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
    by only me is your doing,my darling)
    i fear
    no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
    no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
    and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
    and whatever a sun will always sing is you

    here is the deepest secret nobody knows
    (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
    and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
    higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
    and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

    i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

    —Edward Estlin Cummings

    This poem is dedicated to Tejaswee and you. Her face radiates a warmth & compassion which is drawing us near…. people who dont know her, have never even seen/interacted with her in any minute way…. and we feel affected by what has happened.
    My prayers are with your family. May God give you strength to smile, to love and go on.

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  50. Courage, my friend! I firmly believe that trials are given to those who are strong enough to bear them. And as much as I know about you, there’s none stronger. So you will rise out of this sorrow as Tejaswee would want you to.
    Yes, talking helps. Even if it is talking online. You have here a whole online family who’re ready to walk with you through these rough times. Maybe it would do good for your husband and son to get some of that healing power too. (I hope your husband is better now?)
    I love the words and the photo. And your sis-in-law for being so wise.

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  51. You and your family have been an inspiration. I see your daughter in many of the young and enthusiastic young girls I meet. Her memory will live forever. I’m glad your sister-in-law was such a support and comfort to you. Much love to you all.

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  52. when i was growing up, there was this program on TV. About a woman who had lost her 11 year old daughter. Her method of grieving? She started an orphanage in her house so no one else would go without a mother if she could help it. She would not ask for adoption. Just an orphanage. I distinctly remember seeing the program and wondering, “So whats special? If you lose your child, obviously the best thing to do is to be a mother to those who have not known a mother and never will. That is the best grieving.” Except that, today, i realise that this is not common. That parents cannot, and do not, normally react this way. Then i see you.. and honest to God, your strength fills me with awe that is indescribable.

    Since that program, you are the strongest mother that i know of. Really.

    God Bless.. and yes.. after days of grieving and hurting, i finally gave myself the same logic – Be sad that it ended, but be happier that it happened at all… be sad that someone is no longer there, but be grateful for all the happiness that they caused when they were there…

    Please write more about Tejaswee. i dont know about the other readers of your blog, but i , for one, would love to read more about her..

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  53. Don’t think of her as gone away, her journey’s just begun
    life holds so many facets this earth is only one.
    Just think of her as resting, from the sorrows and the tears
    in a place of warmth and comfort where there are no days and years.
    Think how she must be wishing that we could know today
    how nothing but our sadness can really pass away.
    And think of her as living in the hearts of those she touched
    for nothing loved is ever lost and she was loved so much.

    I can feel your love ( and loss )…The love of a mother for her daughter is universal, it is timeless…..and goes on forever.

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  54. Someday, yes someday I would like to know what did God make you of? I am going to assume a lot more than steel, IHM 🙂 Words fail me, but your courage does not.
    Just read through your post and then a number of them on your daughter’s blog. She’s is so gorgeous. Her smile radiates the inner strength of a woman that she is. I am not going to refer to her in ‘past tense’ because I know you are going to keep her alive for many more years and an entire generation to look up to 🙂

    Here is something for you and for her:

    Death is nothing at all.
    I have only slipped away to the next room.
    I am I and you are you.
    Whatever we were to each other,
    That, we still are.

    Call me by my old familiar name.
    Speak to me in the easy way
    which you always used.
    Put no difference into your tone.
    Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

    Laugh as we always laughed
    at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
    Play, smile, think of me.
    Pray for me.
    Let my name be ever the household word
    that it always was.
    Let it be spoken without effect.
    Without the trace of a shadow on it.

    Life means all that it ever meant.
    It is the same that it ever was.
    There is absolute unbroken continuity.
    Why should I be out of mind
    because I am out of sight?

    I am but waiting for you.
    For an interval.
    Somewhere.
    Very near.
    Just around the corner.

    All is well.

    Poem by Henry Scott Holland ~ 1847-1918

    Canon of St. Paul’s Cathedral ~ London. UK

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  55. What a beautiful girl! And what a tremendous loss to you and your family. Many many many hugs to you..I pray that you find the strength to carry on

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  56. dear IHM, last year i lost my best friend of 22 years…he was hardly 30 and died of heart attack….i am still not able to get over the fact that he is no more….but these words from you and the poem is healing me in parts….

    Hugs and I have no words to describe your loss….she is such a beautiful girl….hugs once again…

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  57. Words written by my sister for our grandmom who brought us up. These lines made us smile and we read it out everytime we miss grand mom and it makes us feel so much better.

    Is the left shoulder that she sits on?

    Whispering words of courage into my ear.

    “How can I ever be gone,

    When you are right here?

    I am your guardian angel,

    More now than you ever knew.

    I am still praying and fighting

    To make all your dreams come true.

    You are my best child

    No one can better be

    I am immortal because of you

    Because you love me, dont you see?

    I can never be gone,

    For you are but a reflection of me

    I am always around,

    By living you sustain me.

    Dont despair my lovely child

    Take in the light, the wind and the sea.

    I am you and everything around you,

    I could not closer to you be.

    – Ragini

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  58. Beautiful lines
    Tejaswee’s picture looks lovely. The words are very healing.
    we can understand the pain and time will heal it.
    if ever you plan to make a youtube video in memory of her using her pics just let me know
    i will do it .

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  59. Pingback: Just pick it up… « The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  60. May God bless you and your family in this difficult time. Tejaswee looks beautiful in this picture. I pray for that day to arrive soon when your grief about losing her is transcended by the joy and pride of having her. I can see that you will always remember her with pride. Love,

    Poonam

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  61. After looking at the picture i remembered how i’d cherish taking the first sip of her coffee in college everyday. I would roll it under my tongue, as if tasting wine, and then gulp it. Then i’d say thanks TJ

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  62. I understood you perfectly well.When my daughter in law died at the age of 24 years,I had written due to my pain.
    “Stop looking for answers. Start formulating a response. Take your righteous anger and turn it into a force for doing good. Redirect your frustration with injustice and unfairness and channel it into a drive to fight injustice and unfairness. Let your outrage propel you into action. When you see innocent people suffering, help them. Combat the pain in the world with goodness. Alleviate suffering wherever you can.”
    Memories warp and fade,but never die.

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  63. Pingback: Remembering… | Coping with Grief and Loss

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