In thousands of ways, our culture has conditioned us to anticipate rape as a natural consequence of violating social norms. Rape myths serve to keep women out of the public sphere, and rape culture wants you to believe that the only safe place for a woman is her kitchen.
Don’t talk to strangers, wear revealing clothing,… take public transportation, travel alone, …because you will get raped… when you think about it, that’s a pretty effective way of maintaining social control over women and…
The myth is that rapists are strangers who attack because they are provoked and lose all control.
The fact is that in 70% of cases, the rapist is someone known to the victim, including young children and old people. Most attacks are planned. [Link]
Here’s a list of Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work.
“1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
Lack of sex education could mean that a rapist may not be sure of what rape is. A lot of Indians learn about sex from rape scenes in Indian movies or from pornography, both can be misleading.
3. Most rapes are committed by men who know the women they are raping. If the woman you are forcing to have sex with you happens to be your girlfriend, your neighbor, your cousin, your sister, or your wife, it is still RAPE.
5. When someone pushes you away, or otherwise inclinates, verbally or with physical movement that they do not want to have sex with you, and you force yourself on them, that is rape. [Click to read more]
And here are some more tips for prevention of sexual assaults.
1. While traveling by bus, don’t start moving towards people to stand close to them. Don’t pinch, grope, stare at, fall on them or push them. Don’t stand in their way, in a way that they would be forced to touch you.
2. Don’t spend your free time standing on street corners staring at people going about their daily lives. Don’t whistle at them. Street sexual harassment is responsible for thousands of Indians not being allowed to study, travel, work or just hang out with friends.
3. Don’t start singing when you see them, don’t push your friends towards them, don’t try to get their attention by laughing, staring, mock-wrestling, falling etc.
3. Don’t assume they want you to approach them because they are smiling at each other.
4. If people are out after dark, it is not because they want you to rape them. (Fact: Nobody wants to be raped).
5. They wear skinny jeans/tight skirts because they like to, not because they want your attention and not because they are asking to be raped.
6. Fact: When people say ‘No’, they do not mean ‘yes’.
7. Don’t throw acid on them if they turned down your frandship request. Don’t spread stories about how you rejected their offer of frandship.
8. If they ask you the time, help or directions, give them if you can, and then move away. Asking for help does not mean they want you to assault them.
9. If people are not frowning it does not mean they want you to approach them.
10. If they are drunk you still have no right to rape or molest them.
11. You cannot rape them even if they are sleeping with somebody else. Or even if they are sleeping (or have slept) with more than one person.
Feel free to add more.
I also believe in such reminders. The society needs to hear in no uncertain terms that the criminal, not the victim is responsible for this crime (just like any other crime).
Updated to add:
FaceBook group created
Please join and add your tips and links to any blog posts that deal with sexual harassment or sexual crimes against women, the right way.
By dealing with the offender.
Let’s say no to Victim Blaming.