List of Male Bloggers in Danger…

…of being labeled JKGs  😉

A JKG is a man who does not think gender bias benefits him or the society. (A JKG is not necessarily a married man.)

In India it’s difficult for a man to speak against biases that oppress women. The danger increases if he speaks in support of his wife (Joru). Such acts of common sense require courage, and are rewarded with taunts and labels like JKG (Joru Ka Gulam).
Literal meaning: ‘Slave of Wife/Woman’

[14 more definitions of a JKG here. You have a definition that fits, please leave in the comment box or send an email]

Listed in random order, I think they are all equally endangered 😆

Neo Indian

The war for women
Why creepy men are good for you
25 ridiculously clichéd Hindi film dialogues that tell you the even more clichéd story of an Indian girl
Good schools prefer housewives

TBG (The Bald Guy)

So you want to marry your daughter eh?
Girls learn to say no.
Girls and their cars.

Krishashok

The Tale of Gregory, part I (About a Veetodu Maapilai or a Ghar Jamai…)

Hitchwriter dares anybody to label him, by wearing this JKG badge on his sidebar 🙂

(One of the 8 award winning badges.)

Haresh

Portrayal of women in Indian media
An eve-teasing incident in front of me
Feminism and seven steps in the sky

Josh Marowitz

Why anti-feminist Satoshi Kanazawa is illogical, unnecessary, and evil, and – oh yeah – a giant f-ing douchebag

The Quirky Indian

If A Woman is Out with Male Friends Late at Night, She Must Want Sex.
On The State of Women, Backless Cholis and Shag Fests
We the Deserving….
Indian Culture is Alive and Kicking. Literally.

Kislay

My dear women
Virginity
A story about gender discrimination
Bhartiya Nari

Masood

Name change after marriage.

SM

India – Women Reservation Bill 2010 –– The Need for India – Complete Case Study

Please feel free to leave links of any other male bloggers you think face similar risks. Before adding any links here, their vulnerability will be assessed by a team of judges.

If you are a male blogger and you feel you are in danger of being labeled a JKG, please do leave the link to the post that puts you at peril.

Badge by Freya, see more badges here. Would you like to create a JKG BADGE? Get in touch!

Note: Updated.

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45 thoughts on “List of Male Bloggers in Danger…

  1. Interesting list…

    If I were a man, I would rather be a JKG than an alpha male who preys on women…There’s a very interesting article in the NY Times by Maureen Dowd http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/09/opinion/09dowd.html?src=me&ref=homepage

    Me – Shocking, but we see similar attitudes in India also Sraboney. Jalgaon, Maharashtra was in News in 1990s when a group of boys managed to get girls photographs (with their boy friends’ help) and then black mailed them. The boys were also in those pictures (splashed with girls’ faces covered all over the newspapers for days) but it was only the girls who saw the pictures as threat.

    // “Landon has an extensive ethics and character education program which includes as its key tenets respect and honesty. Civility toward women is definitely part of that education program.”

    Time for a curriculum overhaul. Young men everywhere must be taught, beyond platitudes, that young women are not prey.//

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  2. I am having a great time reading all the posts you have linked, IHM.

    Me – These are some of my favorite posts!! I plan to finally put up that page with links from everywhere – on similar issues.

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  3. Lol! That was funny…in danger!The more that are in danger the merrier I’d say!

    By the way, this weekend something small happened that instantly reminded me of the award hubby got from ur blog! The JKG one:

    My daughter had asked her brother , my elder son to please get her a small something to eat, as she was very busy studying! He said, not now as I’m heading out!

    Hubby heard him say this and said very firmly in a no nonsense manner,” Your sister has made sandwiches for u when u asked , the next time she asks you had better make her a sandwich or anything she asks OK???” And son apologised and promised he would! Just brought back memories of that award and why he’d got it…thought I’d tell you! And thanks for it again! :)))

    Me – Once a JKG always a JKG 🙂 Congratulations once again!!! Love reading about your dawter!!

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  4. I totally loved Neo’s blog the couple of times I’ve read it…thanks for the reminder and the links to the others!

    Me – I love Mr Neo’s blog too 😆

    My last post is a result of a comment on KrishAshok’s post about Veetodu Maapillai…

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  5. Thank you for sharing some of the wonderful posts by all of these endangered bloggers.
    Have read a few of these before, would love to catch up on the rest 😀 😀

    Those badges are wonderful, portraying the theme wonderfully 🙂

    Me – Thank You CB 😆 I had not expected such creative badges!! I loved them too 🙂

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  6. Thanks for sharing, IHM. I have read some of these bloggers before, and not some. Totally cool post this is 🙂

    Me – If you know of others in similar danger, do leave a link here 🙂

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  7. On my way to save these precious endangered guys…errr I mean to put comments at their place :mrgreen:

    Btw do you think Hitchy Bhai will stage a protest against the list?? 😛

    Me – AD I think Hitchie Bhai will be delighted to have company 😆 And aren’t they precious!!

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  8. Thanks IHM. Glad to be a part of the JKG gang too! 😀

    We’re the best! 😀

    Me – Absolutely the best TBG 🙂
    I would love it if you could share the link to your post where a commenter said you must be unhappy in your personal life – because you write against gender injustice.

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  9. Wonderful links. They make me feel so much better. Yesterday DIL’s friend and her hubby from office came over for dinner. Kid#1 cooked the most marvellous dinner while Kid#2 played host cum bartender. The friend was so impressed though her husband was uncomfortable. He told me that he did not approve of the fact that I “made” my son do things like cook! He also added snidely that once Kid#1 gets a job, he’ll come to his senses. I told him sweetly “But then I am here to ensure that such things dont happen! I am here to see that he continues to do what he likes to do, without being bothered about such stupid traditions”

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  10. Im glad Im not in this kind of danger ! 😀 😀 😀 😀

    Me – Vimmuuu lol you are a borderline case with your stories about all the little ways in which you don’ miss your wife 🙂

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    • Dont let the men (in India) go down this drain… its just shocking. Disobedient, arrogant, chauvinistic…. hypo-upbringingimia, hyper-nuclearfamilia ridden pigs.

      Let the joint family live. Throw away individualistic materialistic carnalistic thinking.

      Lets bring back order, restore order in India.

      Earlier there was illiteracy (with the Brahmans discriminating for superiority), today it is a much better circumstance to restore tradition and joint family system.

      Sheeh!

      bring back the joint family tradition

      Me – This sort of thing is not unheard of in India. In most cases the girls commit suicide for bringing such shame to their families. One of the cases that I remember off hand was in Jalgaon and another recent one in Mumbai where a ten year was raped by her cousin, neighbours and their friends etc for many years. Such things are hush-hushed because we see them as shameful and are more likely to remain unreported in cases where traditional families are involved. One big reason why such cases are not reported is the concern for the girl getting married.

      About bringing back joint families, most of the country still lives in Joint Families Durlov.
      The joint family system is based on a girl leaving her parental home to move into her marital home, or sometimes a boy moving to his wife’s home – you mentioned being keen to move into a joint family? So you like the idea of moving into your wife’s parents home? Have you discussed this with her? My best wishes.
      You haven’t answered my question about why are boy babies preferred?

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      • This response was against “Their Dangerous Swagger” and not to the article about men in Sweden.

        Let me quickly share an interesting history about all nordic countries especially Sweden, comparing with US.

        Its an elaborate topic but I will quickly summarise.

        Marriage as an institution is much stronger in US than in Sweden in terms of the participation from the church, the judicial system and the ceremony itself. You would find a high percentage of unmarried parents in sweden.

        However, the divorce rates are less than half of the US. And the reason is not that all men are JKG. The reason is their family values. They have much stronger family ties than individual ties like marriage. So their together-ness lasts forever.

        See the surname of Mikael’s wife. It is a stupid observation but did you notice the number of times the word ‘family’ was written in the article. Did you notice the mention of his village in the first few paragraphs itself.

        That gives another perspective that you need not be under the same roof necessarily to be a joint family member.

        Me – I also believe in strong family ties Durlov. But I don’t believe in forcing anybody to do anything they may not wish to do (marrying, where they live, how many children) – that’s nothing to do with values, that’s one person trying to control another person’s life. And in a family if only some member’s happiness is valued and others’ happiness is not taken seriously, then the family’s values need to be given another look…

        Its the family values, support and upbringing that is making guys like Mikael Karlsson as opposed to the pigs in the US of A.

        IHM, I would look forward for a response on this. Why do you say MIL and DIL should stay separately. That hurts.

        Me – Why does it hurt Durlov? Who does it hurt?

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        • A little more on Sweden.

          One Indian and a Swedish was going to office together. It was a first day for the Indian in Sweden.

          They were among the first guys to reach office early in the morning.

          The Indian notices with surprise that his swedish friend has selected the farthest possible parking spot for himself making them walk the longest to office.

          When he asked, why? The reply was we have enough time to walk. The guys who are getting late need the near most parking slots.

          Now, thats an attitude that comes from strong extended family values.

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        • Why does it hurt Durlov?

          It hurts because you are breeding separatist theory of family life. You are giving an escapist route to an euphoric illusion. It hurts because you think MIL and DIL living separately is the solution. It is CLEARLY NOT.

          Who does it hurt?
          It hurts me, IHM. An intelligent average middle-class man who never thinks of any discrimination against the feminine gender, who have always believed in their freedom of expression within an order and who empathises with most of the problems that a women goes through for having to consider the husband’s home as her home. I represent today’s youth and men.

          I guess you may latch on the word ‘within an order’. So let me clarify. Both the man and woman have to follow an order defined by respective traditions after marriage. If an Assamese bride has to wear mekhela chador, then the groom has to wear dhoti. Lives change after marriage and both genders have to understand that they are married and have to follow certain defined order and become responsible citizens.

          Me – Durlov social conditioning becomes a habit… and is difficult to change, it’s enough that the desire to be fair is there. I just feel we should not use culture and tradition as excuses to make people do what we want them to do. Double Standards are wrong, not even if a religion/culture/tradition/custom says they are right. Remember all these rules are made by humans just like us, just because they were born several generations before us does not make them incapable of making errors.

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      • Minor rape and the tendency to keep it hush-hush is a separate issue, and are cases of individual doings rather than cultural. These are not unheard of in US… But these cases cannot be compared with the NewYork Times article… Thats cultural and has the tendency to trend-set.

        And the fact that they are not reported is a concern for all of us.. I dont want my son, daughter, cousins be in any problem… so its not a problem only for the girl getting married.

        A girl leaving for her parental home is a tradition prevalent in Sweden also. It has basically come from the provider-nurturer concept of human evolution. As I had said there are matrilinial societies as well. It depends on where I am born into. If I was born in a khasi family, I would have moved to my wife’s house.

        Since our upbringing is patrilinial, we are accustomed to thinking of moving to the boy’s house. Its like Gujaratis not being able to tolerate non-veg. There is nothing bad about non-veg but it is the upbringing that makes one belief that non-veg should not be had.

        Similarly I wont be able to go my wife’s parents house, thats me – the way I am made. I dont think it is any bad. That I am a bad human being. God knows that, it will be my topmost priority to keep my wife happy and supported when she is with me. She is my first priority. Its my duty to provide her the shield if she needs it from anything to anyone. My mom is not an exception.

        Having said that, if a girl from a patrilinial family has any problem, then she should marry someone who is in sync with her thoughts.

        About boy babies, I said that a boy baby is preferred after the birth of 1/2/3 girls. Is that bad? It was for diversity, not for the gender. Also, as I said, things are evolving. Girls are adopted much more than boys. Slowly, outside Assam too, girls are getting accepted. Almost all of my friends who are pregnant or already had a child, wanted a girl as the first child.

        I too dont believe in forcing anybody to do anything, they may not wish. But I dont believe in fuelling rebellion. I am against any propagation which is biased, convoluted, orthodox veering towards fundamentalism.

        I am all for balanced view.

        I sincerely do not agree to what you preach, saying that a majority of the families do not consider the happiness of the DILs seriously enough. Or the happiness of their sons is of priority over their wives.

        Me – Durlov there can be no injustice if everybody has a choice in a family. If the family realises that the girl would walk out if they abused her/demanded dowry/ demanded only male children/or tried to dictate every aspect of her life, then we do not have to depend on the good ness of their hearts. Even if they are insecure or controlling, the girl would be safe.
        Similarly if all parents teach all their children to care for them in their old age, they won’t worry about only having a son. Even if their daughter is not married for some reason – she will still live with them or on her own happily – and both the son and the daughter will be equally responsible for them.
        Same goes for our expectations from senior citizens. They do not need to start ‘acting their age’ – no bright colours, no fun, responsibility to take care of grand children and go for pilgrimage – instead why not enjoy their retirement? Travel, watch movie, join clubs, swim, play golf, fulfill life long dreams – whatever their health permits. MIL does not need to give up her house keys to anybody, she would be free to run her house her way and the only person helping her run it could be her retired husband, I have seen retired couples bonding and having fun in their old age, but in India we are quick to point fingers at older people too.

        Similarly I dont agree to the other extreme of men cribbing about their wives. You know the first response to my engagement ring was, “Dude, this is not an engagement ring.. this is suffe-ring” I have hardly heard of men in the age group of 28-35 praising marriage.

        Me – Durlov if a man is cribbing then one should take it seriously. Maybe the guy was married when he wasn’t really ready for it? Or maybe he was married to a girl he did not like – that’s unfair to both the partners. Men are victimised too – as bread winners. Have you seen ‘Ek chadar maili see’? Next time someone cribs do ask them if there is a problem. Men also must refuse to get married just because it’s the family needs a dil. It’s unfair to the girl and to themselves both.

        I am against both these extremes. It breeds chaos, disobedience and disorder. There is a need for a balanced councelling structure through blogposts, seminars and education in colleges.

        Me – You are against men and women cribbing about being married? I feel men and women should have a choice in who and when they marry – there will be much lesser cribbing. There will be no chaos, just happier couples.

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  11. Hey IHM… 🙂
    That’s some list 🙂 well on my way in a day or two.. to their blogs 🙂
    🙂 🙂 🙂

    Priceless 😀

    Me – You will love these posts!!!

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  12. I think it is amazing that both the men and women bloggers are so liberated and comfortable with what they are 🙂

    But men such as the ones you mention are only a small percentage of the whole.

    Me – Shilpa men like these have made a lot of difference, and if we raise aware sons, I am sure we will see changes in the coming generations. 🙂

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    • That is a good point. The next generation will be more aware, in turn making their subsequent generations more aware, hopefully these problems will be weeded out 🙂

      Me – Yes Shilpa. though it is really slow, change does come this way…

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  13. I had this really smartass line about JKG, UKG and 1st grade, but I can see it’s a tough crowd here so instead, I’ll just say – “Thanks, I think.” 🙂

    -Neo

    Me – Ha ha 🙂 You have a lot of fans here Neo and I am one of them – Welcome! 😆

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  14. Thanks IHM. Nice to be part of a list like this.

    I hope your readers realise the gravity of the situation, and contribute generously to our cause. I am accepting – on behalf of the others on this list, of course – donations that will make you feel you did your bit. Please give generously. 🙂

    Cheers,

    The Quirky Indian

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  15. Nice list you have here, iHM! Every post is a gem in its own way. I know some of the writers and have read some of the posts. But when it comes in a list, they are entirely different from each other, similar to each other – in some way, both!

    Thanks for introducing many more good writers, IHM, to me!

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  16. Wow a wonderful collection, IHM! I have read some of them and am making my way through the rest !

    And these are posts that so deserve the showcasing 🙂

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  17. Oh! Looks like I missed a lot while being away from internet 😦

    I’m glad to be in the list of endangered species 😆 😀 😛

    I love the phrase ‘Joru Ka Gulam’ 😉 But, in other words, ‘Joru Ka Gulam’ man is just like a normal man except for the fact that he has known and realized that women are human beings too.

    One more post based on that novel is on the way 😀

    Me – You are welcome Haresh 🙂

    Like

  18. Pingback: Men Will Be Men :) « The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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