Finally Joru Ka Gulam Redefined.

In India it takes a lot of guts for a man to take a stand against customs that oppress women. It’s worst if he is fighting in support of his wife (Joru)! All such acts of courage are rewarded by taunting and labelling them ‘JKGs = Joru Ka Gulam’. Literal meaning: ‘Slave of Wife’.

In JORU KA GULAM Contest we asked for a new definition for a Joru Ka Gulam, (who in reality is a man who dares to fight against gender injustice).

There were14 entries [Read them here] and the winners have been chosen by voting.

And the winners are…


1st

Entry Number 5 by Tearsndreams got an overwhelming support from women. 11 votes for first place came entirely from women voters. 7 votes for second place came both from men and women.

I think this is the kind of man women admire. Guys please take note ๐Ÿ˜†

2nd

Today an unmarried man be a JKG too.

Entry Number 1 by Sakshi got 8 votes – the 26 JKGs in this post made many young voters proud and emotional. The courage of each one of them is an inspiration for the young Indian male today.

3rd

Entry Number 3 by Vikas Gupta, I disagree when he suggests,

“In the slavery of his woman lies his freedom, emancipation and salvation.”

“..is often tied to his wifeโ€™s apron strings and not to his motherโ€™s.”

“He loves what she loves and dislikes what she hates.”

But it seems many young men agree with him! This entry got 7 votes, and many of these came from young, unmarried men, including one that chose only one entry.

And finally Hitchwriter (Entry Number 4), Indy‘s husband (Entry Number 11) and Sakshi’s 26 cousins (Entry Number 1) are being declared JKGs!ย  ๐Ÿ˜†

Their gorgeous, prize winning badges follow in the next post!

Here are some other opinions, guys be brave there’s some criticism too.

“Two contenders for 1st position- 10th and 9th entries.
Definition given by 10th is precise, to the point and bang on. 9th comes very close to this one. They talk of being fair, logical and rational. Having guts to stand up for, encourage and appreciate the wife besides helping and taking care of her. So these two are winning entries according to me.

***

2nd best is 4th entry.
… this definition is great because it talks about equality, accepting and apologizing for mistakes.”

***

Please permit a non Indian to take part in this contest.
Years ago, in London, I visited an exhibition namedย  “You โ€˜ ve come a long way, babyโ€. It was dedicated to the emancipation of women in the U.K, to their efforts for suffrage etc.I think that your blog deserves this title.
Indian women-as all women- deserve recognition, respect, right to higher education, right to self determination, to independence. I suppose Indian society is ready accept this kind of woman, who can live with dignity either with her loving JKG or without himโ€ฆ

***

2nd: Entry no. 3
talks about the JKG being not only a tough guy but also the friend every woman needs. (Do they exist?)

***

Elaborations for JKG given by 13 are great…”

***

“1st : Entry no. 5.
For this entry talks about equality even when the woman has lost hopes. Kudos .”

***

“Entry no.8 because it sounds so genuine! So much said in so few a words..”

***

“III โ€“ Entry no.13- A true JKG is one who believes in challenging social conditions, believes in equality not just after marriage but who lives by them even before his marriage.”

***

Entry 14 makes a very valid point when she/he says โ€“ โ€œSo, I feel a JKG should be anyone who challenges the social conditioning he is brought up with.

That and the fact that the man stands up and supports his wife because he knows and acknowledges his wife is right and his parents are wrong.

***

“I just love entry no 5โ€ฆ.beautiful words and thoughts. Isnโ€™t this all we want in the man we love? I am not one of those who think if my husband does all the household chores he can be the best JKG. I would rather like JKGโ€™s who can encourage their wives at every phase of life to do things they want and brim up their confidence.”

***

“My first choice is entry number 11 for the simple reason that its about a real person.”

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“2 – Entry No. 11 (Totally epitomises my husband :)

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1. Entry Number 3 โ€œI strongly believe there is no match to this JKG :) โ€

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1. Entry Number 1. (i just loved it)

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“My ranking would be entry 5, then 9 and then 11. And I may not be JKG today but I will be back one day to claim the gold,silver and the bronze.”

***

Position 1 โ€“ Entry 4 โ€“ โ€˜A JKG would be some one who would treat himself and his wife EQUALLY.โ€™

***

“I would go for Entry – 10 for first place, because it is very general definition I agree with. The other entries were making rules for a man to be a JKG, which in my opinion is not right.”

***

I would go for Entry No 11 and 12 for the second place, because I like both of them equally. I donโ€™t really consider anything for the third place.

***

“I had a hard time after reading all the entries, but I loved #3 the best. I think it covered a lot of relevant points I can relate to.”

***

“Entry No 2 is not in englishโ€ฆ.so i think you should translateโ€ฆ”

***

“I like almost all entriesโ€ฆstill, competition is competition, one has to lose for the other to win (watching too many reality shows, esp. saregamapa!) 5, 12 and 4!”

***

12th entry is my choice for the second one :)
Loved the way it is written :) Very practical approach!

***

2, 6, 13 in that order(1, 2, and 3)”

***

“2nd โ€“ Entry No. 11. ( I kinda can relate to it..)

3rd โ€“ Entry No. 10 ( short and sweet )”

***

Position 1 โ€“ Entry 4 โ€“ โ€˜A JKG would be some one who would treat himself and his wife EQUALLY.โ€™

Position 2 โ€“ Entry 1 โ€“ โ€˜So to me a JKG is one who is not scared to stand up and willing to break all religious customs โ€“ just to hear a bubbling joy bursting out through the phone, to see a smile on their beloved sisterโ€™s face and bear all the anger and brunt from a society who is conditioned to keep a woman away from choosing her own lifeโ€™

Position 2 โ€“ Entry 14. I think it makes a lot of sense to me. Some one who can question the social conditioning that he is brought up with, is more likely to be a true liberal and a real respecter of women.

It was tough deciding, IHM. I really liked Entry No. 7 too.. If I had a 4th option โ€“ it would be 7..

***

My vote for Entry no. 3 . And who wrote it , please ?

***

I liked the Hindi lines. :) (Entry number 2)

***

Hmmโ€ฆ all the above entries were a little too unrealistic, in my opinion. You talk of women being โ€œconditionedโ€ since birth and the husband must make her overcome that conditioning. How about the guy? Even he has been โ€œconditionedโ€ since childhood. He also needs help to overcome that conditioning. Isnโ€™t it?

I feel what is important is a man should understand a womanโ€™s wants and needs. He should respect her decisions, even if he doesnโ€™t always understand them.
(Like not wanting to change her surname). He may not like it(because of social conditioning) but, he accepts it.

It is a long processes of unlearning and relearning. A man can be a JKG when a woman stands up for herself. We canโ€™t put the whole pressure on the man alone.

***

JKG Badges in the next post!!!

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71 thoughts on “Finally Joru Ka Gulam Redefined.

  1. What the hell? Gosh my brothers crowned as heroes? sniff sniff *sakshi calling one of the hero and breaking the news gently to him*…… Ahh IHM you have no idea how relieved I feel that my entry was second…hee…at last I feel like I have washed all my sins of torturing them as a kid :mrgreen: Now I can guilty free irritate all of them again ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    Wow the winning entry as you know was my first choice and am happy that many of us agree that is what matters in a JKG. Congrats to all winners bahhhh that means to my huggable adorable 26 cousin brothers *sakshi fainted after typing this too sweet dedication to her brothers*

    Like

  2. Celebration hugs for all winners and more hugs for all entries!!
    ๐Ÿ˜€

    and soooper tight hugs for IHM, for this competition n all the efforts gone into it!!!!

    ((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

    Like

  3. @ tears n dreams congratulations.. !!!!

    @ Sakshi – oh jai jai sakshi devi… kaanta laage na kankar ke jkg main ban ke raha… !!!! main jkg hoohi… chahe mujhe vote mile na mile… sau rab di…

    @ Vikas – Congrats dude !!!!!

    Like

  4. Hitchy like you hate people calling you bhai, I am allergic to Devi ๐Ÿ˜ก Me likes and adores the devil tag, coz then there is no unnecessary expectations!!

    IHM thanks for this amazing contest and Hi5 to all JKG’s

    Like

  5. IHM,

    This has to be the first time in my life that I have won a competition.
    I am grinning from ear to ear.
    Thanks everyone who voted for me ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  6. Ayyo in my excitement forgot to thank all those bloggers who voted for my entry. Thanks guys for the vote and all that 3 para nonsense you guys bravely put up with in the name of my comments :mrgreen: ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

    Like

  7. Congratulations TnD, Sakshi talli, Vivek Gupta! for their entries

    Also Hitchy and Indy’s husband who were declared JKG!

    Kudos to IHM for conducting this fun contest and to me for voting. :)))))

    Like

  8. “You talk of women being โ€œconditionedโ€ since birth and the husband must make her overcome that conditioning. How about the guy? Even he has been โ€œconditionedโ€ since childhood. He also needs help to overcome that conditioning. Isnโ€™t it?”

    I agree to the quoted comment. Men are also conditioned and forced to do so many things. It puts pressure on them too. They are expected to do well and have a career outside.

    Me – I agree about men being conditioned Solilo, I wrote Men in Pink with that in mind.

    Like

  9. Congratulations to all the winners! It was really difficult to select from the entries!

    IHM – You deserve a HUGE badge for holding this contest! It was such an amazing idea and a wonderful effort! Congrats to you too!

    Me : Smitha badges will be out tomorrow, you’ll love them ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • Oh..Nice to see ya in my blog space too.. :).. I have been busy with work, volunteering, and hanging out. I did come back and read some of your older posts though. :). I am on a break from work now – Diwali hols in India..:)! I admire the way how you always find time to blog. I was encouraging my mum to take up blogging and was showing her your blog..:)..he he..!!

      How have you been??Best of luck with the badges..:)!!

      Like

  10. LOL !! finally, the six month old contest has come to an end !!! Congrats to all the winners !! Lets see if the definition changes in a few years, probably I will have a new one after my wedding ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  11. Yay! Congrats to all the winners ๐Ÿ™‚ I am confused…so in all there are 5 winners?

    LOL All are winners – each one contributed in some way… not saying this just like that homecooked, I mean it. I am grateful to all for participating… I am just finishing uploading the badges !!!

    Like

  12. Congratulations to all winners!!!!!! And Thank you for declaring hubby dearest a JKG!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    It was a fun contest IHM…Thank You for holding it!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Me – The badges are out soon, you are going to love them Indy!!!

    Like

  13. Congrats to all the winners.

    Hugs to IHM and to all the winners who love their spouse and to the brothers of sakshi . ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    Super header IHM

    Like

  14. IHM, Beeped too in the other post has disagreed with few of the points. I was trying to be slightly rhetorical when I wrote that. I meant the slavery etc. only figuratively. I, for one, will be like this when I am a married man [I had told all this and more to the woman I love; she does not love me though but I have not given up hope].

    Waiting for the badges; I hope I will get a position there too! ๐Ÿ™‚

    One person you said had voted only for me ;that’s a waste of vote! In JNU lingo we call it ‘vote freezing’!:(

    That person loved your entry, and also wanted to know who you were ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  15. Great header by the way! You would have won the badge contestant if you were a participant!

    Me – Gosh no Vikas, this is all free clipart! I hope we are allowed to use it like this – if we aren’t I will remove it!!

    Like

  16. The header’s nice. Free clipart can be used, right? If trolls persist, maybe a ‘pics courtesy Google’ might help?

    Congratulations to the winners. Live up to your awards and encourage more people to emulate you ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  17. Yayee my entry won some too ๐Ÿ™‚ Well you are right IHM

    Me – Cilla I didn’t say that, a comment did, I will publish that comment on the last post!

    about doing some bit for ourselves…conditioning is both ways, while women are conditioned to expect from the man to take care of themselves, men are conditioned to grudgingly take on the mantle of the provider…both these should be unlearned and it is tough…we may say all we can say but when it comes to our own lives at times we falter and fall back to the conditioning coz its familiar and that is what we somewhere deep down feel it should be…the concept of personal responsibility is very complex and not everyone has the strength or the understanding to implement it…most of us take the easy way out and try to place the blame elsewhere for not speaking up or making a change within ourselves…its always easy to go through life without thinking we did anything to make it the way it is…the events in life may be external, but what we do about them is our own decision…(aah m in an extremely preachy mode these days I guess :-P)

    ๐Ÿ™‚ Why not ? Go ahead and preach a little ๐Ÿ™‚

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  18. Sheesh…I missed this entire contest!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    When I had the time, I was too lazy to vote. And when I wanted to vote, had a crazy week at work with almost no access to internet.

    Anyways, congrats to all the definitions and winners. Some of them are perfect.

    IHM, absolutely fabulous initiative and contest. Hats off !!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Me – The contest missed you too!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ But your one definition of a JKG is that beautiful poem you wrote and another the 55er – you were amazing because there was no way for you to know how many people were there in that park, and they could have hurt you too… Hats off to you Masood!!

    Like

  19. Pingback: Of how men’s masculinities are connected to their wives taking their names. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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