Supreme court has made it clear that a girl above 18 can marry or live with anyone of her choice.

Of suparis and tomatoes.

Supreme court has made it clear that a girl above 18 can marry or live with anyone of her choice.

India needs such reminders because although parents know of custodial deaths and custodial rapes they still get the police to arrest their adult and married sons, daughters and  their spouses. Pregnant girls or mothers with small children are also brought in court for marrying their husbands.

The confidence of these parents is unbelievable, they are convinced that they know better best.

Or perhaps there is no love or confidence involved? The child is seen as a ‘possession’. That is why sons are seen as assets and daughters as liabilities.

Since daughters are not an asset, they are more likely to get killed. A mother and grandmother in Chennai, killed twin girl babies by suffocating one and  slitting the throat of the other. No political groups made this an issue. I only receive links to self righteous websites worrying about protecting adult citizens (only girls) from  inter-religious marriages.

Apart from the fact that these attempts encroach on an adult citizen’s legal rights, which is reason enough to condemn them, these groups change their tune from case to case. It makes no difference which community, because when it comes to a girl’s right to choose a life partner – the view is no different.

One more thing ‘traditional’ thinking has in common across communities in India is that it is assumed that a girl is not old or matured enough to choose a life partner but is matured enough to be married off to a man several years older and to raise future citizens. She cannot consent to having sex (is often a minor when married), but again she is old enough to have and to raise children.

Amina from Kashmir married Rajneesh Sharma on Aug 21. Her father filed a report with the police saying his 17-year-old (27-year-old, it seems from Aanchal’s account) daughter was missing. Srinagar police arrested her husband, he  was brought to Ram Munshi Bagh police station, where (according to a probe) he hanged himself with a pheran. [Read details here.]

Earlier this year, Fiaz Ahmed Ahanger ‘s Hindu wife  – ‘with an infant in her lap, stood before the Bench, braved questions and was unflappable in her resolve to live with her husband. But, there was an urgent plea from her to save her husband from harassment at the hands of the police and threats from her parents and brothers who did not agree to the inter-religious marriage.’  [Details here.]

I also blogged about how a teenager was harassed and molested for meeting a boy from another community by a political group, the girl was so traumatized that she hanged herself.  She was not yet sixteen.

I read this news yesterday, and then reached the bottom of the page and what do I  see?  Take a look.

What does this mean?  I chose to throw a tomato, maybe you’d like to give a rose?

58 thoughts on “Supreme court has made it clear that a girl above 18 can marry or live with anyone of her choice.

  1. Seriously,i can’t belive these kinda things are happening now a days.It is very disheartening…Let the god save everyone
    slitting the throat ….how can a mother do that,she is not a humans.

    P.S : small correction,twin girls incident happend in Thoothukudi not in chennai.Chennai is a place ,which is famous for respecting women and her honour.

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  2. Am I first here?

    Me – second is the new first😆

    Depressing isn’t it?

    Sigh..
    We women first need to take a stance.
    More than half the crime against women will be commited by other women!

    me – True Pixie we are conditioned from the day we are born to treat women (including ourselves) as second class citizens.

    That last question – website is blocked at work, will check it out from home later on🙂

    Me – lol it’s nothing, just a lighthearted fun thing😉

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  3. Female infanticide and honour killings i.e killing a girl since she dared to marry or fall in love with a man outside her cast and community have been rampant in India for a long time especially in Punjab in Haryana , these states have the dubious distinction of the maximum number of honour killings..

    The Supreme Court decision was long overdue, thank god they’ve finally empowered women with the right to choose whom they want to live with or marry.
    . I hope this prevents those casteist, insulated people from harming women in the name of honour !!
    IHM thanks for such an informative & content rich post ..

    Infact I feel liveonimpulse that sex selection ad killing of unborm or new born baby girls is a result of all these other issues, all are related😡 if we don’t remove the bias then even if foeticide is controlled deaths through neglect and malnutrition won’t stop.

    You have not written your blog address/url in the space given while writing this comment. If you write it in it becomes easier to reach your blog with one click from here

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  4. I don’t know if it really matters to people or the police what the Supreme Court says…The police will do anything for money and parents will pay money to get their ‘possessions’ back or killed or whatever…

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  5. It’s such a sad state of affairs. I can’t believe that the government is not doing anything about it. Instead they are busy pointing fingers at other countries and issues occurring elsewhere. When will they wake up to the plight of women in India??? When???

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  6. I heard the Chennai & Kashmir news over the weekend and was very disturbed. Its very disheartening these kinda incidents and lately they have been on a rise.

    Me – A, I feel this has been going on but now it is being reported, and now it also gets politicised. Infanticised can not be really controlled because it is only a symptom, the disease is the gender bias… which we allow to thrive in the name of honor, male ego, family values, tradition and religion.

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  7. I don’t really understand the Indian society, where if couple from different communities marry, instead of accepting them, they consider them as a disgrace and even resort to honor killing. At the end of the day, who wins? No one everyone ends up in the losing side.

    One of the things that I have observed that as a society we are very negative in a sense that if someone decides to take a different path, people wont let them. For e.g., if a girl gets divorce (to get out of a bad marriage) and decides to live an independent life, people still keep reminding her that she is a divorcee instead of appreciating the courage to come out of a bad marriage. There are other issues too

    Me – Yes we are afraid of any change in what we have got used to seeing, we call it tradition, but it’s simply habit. More than common sense we prefer what we declare tradition but what actually is just a bad habit. … one of them is the expectation of total obedience from our children – from our adult children, that’s like expecting obedience from adult citizens. Parents are only human and with such huge issues very likely to make mistakes in judgement… and still one is expected to obey completely like slaves (they call it respect)

    Are we not going backwards instead of moving forward?

    Me – We are going forward Survivor, most of this has been going on for ages, but now we have media, debates, discussion and the law to control this abuse. More than anything we acknowledge that this is ridiculous!

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  8. Honour killings have become a style statement or what? Every other day there is atleast one similar news. Do parents do that to teach/caution the younger siblings? Or is it due to pressure from relatives? Acceptance in society? Or is that a case of bruised egos?
    God knows! Sigh….

    Me -If they cared for their children they would never ruin their lives or traumatise them by killing their spouses. Looks more like peer pressure and buised egoes… 😡

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  9. Its sad to see such things still happening. This is probably one more (considering the many that already exist) supreme court ruling that would help women fight for themselves. But what about the many girls who never go up to the police or courts out of fear for their families, their “pride”? And again, there are many more who don’t even know that there are laws that protect them. Many women silently accept abuses and are often totally ignorant about how to protect themselves. The need of the hour is not more laws, but basic education about the already existing laws to the women in this country.

    Me – YES!! That’s true… infact I am not sure but there’s a law that protects women from being taken to the police station after dark? Should make a list of some such laws!! Thanks Espirit!

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  10. As Bones said,it doesn’t really matter what is right and wha tis it that the law prescribes..People,especially in villages have their own framework of laws and they are easily justified in fellow-dwelllers eyes so that they would not feel that ‘there is something wrong in what he is doing”…

    You like it or not,children are seen as possesions,as investments,which will come to use of parents sooner or later..So,when they run away,I can filr case with police and drag back my daughter or file case against my son’s lady,stating that she is doing black magic ..Afterall,there is nothing wrong with our kids,right?

    I wonder what is the use in dragging back girls to home,where they will have to live a life of terror..

    This post relates to a qstn-answr in my post that “Why should i let my daughter study for years,and what if finally she pours watrer over family’s honour by running away with some random boy..agreed she excercised her freedom,but what about the rest of us and our honour“..

    This is a funny scary world:-/

    Me – The points in your post continue to haunt me Nimmy… because I know such things ARE said. I have heard versions of similar talk… I feel the law does empower girls, though it is doing so very slowly… and we need lots more awareness for the parents… they just don’t care for their own children!😦

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  11. As sraboneyghose says, I doubt whether a ruling will make any difference to parents or the police. The parents are out to safeguard honor and the police to make a quick buck, while the poor girl is only trapped in between!

    Me – Having the law by our side is a huge help, remember kanoon ke lambe haath?! In the end if a couple does approach (manages to approach) the courts, they will find justice.

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  12. While the SC ruling might not make a huge difference, right away – I still think that it a step in the right direction. Surely, people will come to understand that their children have the right to decide how to live their lives. And in that sense, I am so proud of our SC – we see some amazing judgements from them – which I feel, in the long run will end up changing the way the society works – may not today or tomorrow – but definitely – in the long run.

    Me – I totally agree Smitha. This will make a difference, it will take time really change this thinking…, but atleast if one looks for help and support it is available.

    As for the tomato- rose thingy – yes – it was fun to throw a tomato🙂

    Me – But why was this linked at the bottom of the news article? 🙄

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  13. It is sad really..but you know I read this quote somewhere and I cannot recollect from where “Violence has always existed, it’s just televised more now”. All of this has been happening for a long time now but i feel things are improving with the law makers are finally stepping in ruling in favor of sanity.. it might take a while but things will certainly improve!

    I threw a tomato… It would be so much fun to do that in real!!!😉 I wish i could.. some rotten eggs too…!

    Me – I agree perplexed. I think this always happened, but now it comes in limelight and that is actually an improvement. An the Supreme Court ruling reminder is a blessing!! What’s bad is sensationalisation (by media) of such acts and political interference supporting such acts.

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  14. IHM, where do you think of the titles for your posts? Even with horrible deadlines looming I am reading your blog, I cannot help myself!
    Awesome analysis. I think rotten tomatoes are a waste on these folk.

    Aww thank you Alankrita🙂 Parents giving supaari for their kids is so unbelievable Alankrita, I wanted to call it, Pati, Patni aur Supari, then thought ‘Miyaan Biwi razi, but supari rules’… but both seemed too long🙂 I hope you clicked on the site? Who comes up with these ideas?

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  15. Parents still hang on to children as their property. It is very very hard for some of them to accept that their children have their own thoughts and feelings. Reminds me of a debate we had in our friends circle a while back. With gay marriages being so common these days, whether we will be able to accept our own children taking that route. It was very interesting to see different attitudes, especially of a mother who said she will not take at any extent, as that does not seem natural. It is very confusing when what children think right are wrong in the eyes of parents.

    Me – Isn’t it unfortunate Lakshmi! Parents are supposed to be by the children’s side, teaching them about family values – instead they want them killed! Is there any love in such families?

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  16. Incidents like the one you relate really piss me off if I think about them too much. Not because it’s an issue of women’s rights, but of freedom of choice in general.

    In fact, I don’t believe in “Womens’ rights”. Why do we need a separate term and banner under which to fight for the rights of adults to do whatever they want as long as they don’t hurt others?

    It’s very encouraging though that the courts are taking a tough stance against this sort of nonsense, though it’s sad that it takes such a long time.

    I have to have faith that things are changing slowly even though there are ups and downs. I have to believe that in the long term things will get better. It’s the only way to keep a positive outlook.

    Me – Bhagwad I agree and I loved the highlighted line – I blog about women’s rights, children’s rights, animal rights and also men’s rights – with exactly that thought in mind- that they are basic human (or humane) rights. This should the tagline for our JKG Contest!

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  17. this is such a disgrace…how can the government not do anything?..and this is not even like an incident here and there…these things happen day in and day out and how can they just let things be?…

    Me – The government is scared of saying anything because this is being politicised. Girls are victimised in the name of honor, tradition, religion ..even family love! And look who talks of love? The same parents who are treating their own children like this.

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  18. Oh…this is horrible! Why would the parents want to give their own children grief for choosing a life partner is beyond me. How do they justify killing the son-in-law? Do they think their daughters would prefer to live with murderers instead! I think sometimes parents go too far thinking only they know best.

    Me – I find this impossible to understand homecooked!!😡 How can they harm their own children??? Who do the children trust then?

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  19. I couldn’t read beyond ” A mother and grandmother in Chennai, killed twin girl babies by suffocating one and slitting the throat of the other.”

    I can’t get over this…I just can’t… *sobs silently*

    Me – I understand M4!! The feeling I got was, I wish they had given them up for adoption… it’s difficult to understand how the same women would have loved the two babies if they were male?

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  20. if indira gandhi can become india’s primeminister and heirs rule in india as part of political process – yeh kyu nahi ho sakta hai – sounds logical to me..

    Me – You mean why can’t daughters be loved? Exactly!! We have just got used to some ideas, and now can’t see beyond that😦

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  21. After reading these posts about what is happening to my sisters in India I am depressed. It seems that many parents prefer to have boys than girls and will commit murder to their girl children. I wonder, what will happen in a few years when there will be more men than women? Who will the men marry? Will the men turn to men for relationships?

    The dehumanization of women has been the scourge of many nations for centuries. I can see that it is an uphill battle to fight. Modern mothers who will attempt to bring up their daughters as independent thinkers will be still torn between the old traditions as it relates to their culture and with the new winds of change .

    Many will not be brave enough to outwardly show their defiance to a system that has been considered the norm. Many will be afraid of intimidation by family and friends. It is a daunting task to set about changing the traditions and beliefs of a nation.

    Perhaps educating the religious leaders (just a far fetched thought ) and older women by means of a grass roots organization, ( you can never be too old to learn) and daring them to think change might help ease the plight of women. Use Indira Ghandi as a role model. If she can, we can! KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!

    Me – Islandgal in states of Haryana and Punjab we have a girl:boy ratio of approx 7.5: 10 . Girls are brought or ‘bought’ from other states, sometimes one wife amongst more than one brothers. Those who come from North East India are called ‘Paro’ and they have a difficult time adjusting to the food, climate and culture of Haryana. 😦 I will find out more about this, and blog about it.

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  22. I stay in Gurgaon and my maid’s daughter was kidnapped and sold into the trade. She needed some thirty thousand to get her daughter back but if they went into debt for that much money, her husband was worried that they would not be able to maintain their other two children. I told her I’d give her half of it, but she finally decided not to take it. However, her daughter now comes home for important festivals and contributes for the education of her two siblings and insists that they go to school. She has bought her her mother a cell phone as well.

    Totally, unrelated but I just had to share this with you.

    Me – How old is the daughter supmm? I see nothing wrong with a girl making money as a sex worker, but it is horrible to be ‘sold’ – that’s exploitation, because she will only get a small part of her own earnings. How could her parents accept this? The physical trauma, and the emotional trauma… Didn’t they ask for some social organisation or police support… ??

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    • She was around 14-15. The parents were traumatised and did all they could to track her down and then get her back, but like I said they didn’t have the financial resources for it and refused help from my husband and me because they didn’t want to be in debt forever. Besides, they said that their neighbours wouldn’t accept her coming back and they’d have to move when they had decent jobs and their other kids would be uprooted etc & the life they had been working for so hard would be destroyed. They have already taken some help & borrowed money from me earlier for a rickshaw and didn’t want to take on more.

      Their daughter understood all that and also realised that she couldn’t really come back to her parent’s place without desttroyiing them. So she accepted her fate, luckily found a “good” pimp who gives her a fair share of her earnings which she gives her parents. She has taken on the whole burden of educating her siblings allowing her parents to build a pakka house and is always telling her siblings that hey should study hard because she’s doing all this for them (she tried to committ suicide once) or they’l end up like her; and her siblings are also working hard as my maid tells me and shows me their report cards once in a while.

      They didn’t want to go the police/ social organistaion because they are second generation illegal immigrants (though they now have papers and I have explained to them that they are Indian citizens) and fear harassment. They distrust the cops and my maid told me that NGOs only talk big and do nothing and refused to go to them.

      This is one real life example of making lemonade when life gives you lemons.

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  23. such stories are disheartening.I read about the babies,IHM.What those women(I refuse to call them mothers) did was preposterous.

    As for the girls being given the right to chose a partener or not,I agree with Smitha.Supreme court’s ruling does seem like a movement in the right direction.
    But what about those parents who have been blinded by age old beliefs?They simply refuse to think rationally.

    I sincerely hope that women like Amina and Fiaz Ahmed’s wife feel the power to chose their lifepartners and are not made to feel like sinners.Only then the ruling will get its real meaning.

    Me – I can’t call them mothers either Deeps…
    I think some changes take time… I wish they didn’t!! Justice delayed is justice denied to generations of women and girl children😦

    Till then I’ll join you too in throwing some tomatoes at those insensitive and ignorant parents😀

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  24. Coming from a Hindu family with Muslim and Xtian (cousin)sisters in law these stories sound so weird to me.
    I too have the same question to ask. When a girl can be married off and is expected to take care of her husband’s physical needs, bear children and care for them, take care cook and what not for an entire family how come she is seen not fit to make a choice about her life partner?! This curtailment of a girl’s freedom cuts across all religious and party lines.
    Marriages are not ‘made’ by parents knowing better or best. If so why are women being burnt and abused in marriages that they themselves have fixed for their children?? Or do they feel that it is alright if their girls suffer in the marriages that they, the parents have arranged??Yes, that seems to be the perception. When the marriages they have arranged fails, they point to their heads and say ‘Fate’ and force their daughters to continue their life in hell
    .

    It’s all about what the parents find convenient, and some amount of peer group pressure for the parents, a lot of hypocrisy and false pride…

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    • “When the marriages they have arranged fails, they point to their heads and say ‘Fate’ and force their daughters to continue their life in hell.”

      ah…how true…

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  25. Supreme court has made it clear that a girl above 18 can marry or live with anyone of her choice.

    IHM, the above ruling is good as long as the girls know what they are getting into…nd sadly some of them dont know and then it is too late.. I am writing this since something disturbing is indeed happening, specially in Kerala…

    Thiruvananthapuram:

    Kerala has a new concern: “love jihad”. The state High Court on Wednesday directed the Kerala Police and Union Home Ministry to probe the alleged movement, under which young Muslim boys reportedly target college girls for conversion by feigning love.

    http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/Kerala-HC-wants-probe-into-love-jihad/523630/

    Me – Happy Kitten I take such sensational news with a pinch of salt. If an adult decides to convert and marry that is her choice, this should not be used to control who a girl marries/dates/lives with. High Court has asked for an inquiry into this, let’s wait and see what they say.

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    • IHM.. I would have taken it that way too and would have never mentioned it here if I myself didnt know it better…. nd this has not happened recently but only now the court has intervened.. and the parents would have never known what was happening if they hadn’t filed a case in the court.. only when they appeared in court did they have the courage to recount what happened.. over 1000 cases during the year 2006-2009 is no small issue and out of which in Trivandrum alone there was 216 instances , 26 cases was registered in the court and they could get only 6 girls back. Even educated girls from every background are lured from colleges itself. While personally I do not think religion itself is to be blamed, it is more for quick money or to create problems in Kerala. (The Keralite who died in Kashmir was a Christian who was earlier engaged in petty crimes)

      I think one should add complacency also to Kerala’s list of ills… but hopefully Kerala will brave even this one for sure, since in my opinion, the minority in Kerala is not really a minority in the true sense, but yet everyone needs to keep a vigil since the times are not good.

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      • Happy Kitten, it is always better to take all these statistics of ‘love jihad’ with a large pinch of salt. As of now Police statistics are only abt missing girls registered in police stations. That do not mean they are all victims of islamists Many have returned to their homes also and the actual still missing numbers are much less. Still I agree that there is such a problem and civil society should be vigilant against forced conversion. Same time we should take care not to fall into Sangh Parivar’s attempt to close all social contacts with minorities .

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        • Charakan.. thanks for the response…hopefully it is like how u and IHM have understood it and I agree that there is much to gain politically… I may have formed my opinion based on my own personal experience since someone from our family circle has got into such a situation..nd she has left her former religion…

          personally I would have no problem with inter caste, inter religious marriages as long as they leave religion alone.. Solilo mentioned abt the pressure from the Church.. nd this is the sad case… if one opts for a marriage outside the accepted community, one of the partner needs to compromise or they have to forsake the community..

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  26. Phew….. I kind of really never understood the fact that why as a society we have always failed to stand for what is right or for that matter even what is wrong.

    The family system in India is not based on the concept of happiness of its members but ironically on the ground that how the family is perceived by other families i.e immediate or distant.… Of how we have been programmed to perceive that women who talk liberal, or take a stand, or live their lives the way they want it are supposed to be characterless, always ignoring the fact that they may be the ones with more character than you.

    Also I have never quite come to terms with the entire crap concept of honor killing. For eg: If a girl decides to marry outside her caste or religion against the will of her family, well you can kill her in the name of honor, try describing this honor and we are back to what would the society have said if they knew that so and so’s daughter got married outside the caste and the family let her do it.

    And lastly, this is the 21st century, every body has a life, give it a break, we can have teachers raping students and do nothing about it, but screw the lives of our own sons & daughters in the name of Honor.

    Shouldn’t societies simply be based on Happiness of an individual.

    Me – Brilliantly put Kamal!!!

    A society in which individuals are not happy can never be a happy society, because individuals make a society, and a family in which it’s members are not respected, or a family that can commit murders to create what they consider a good impression on the neighbours… what kind of society do such families make?!

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    • “The family system in India is not based on the concept of happiness of its members but ironically on the ground that how the family is perceived by other families i.e immediate or distant.… Of how we have been programmed to perceive that women who talk liberal, or take a stand, or live their lives the way they want it are supposed to be characterless, always ignoring the fact that they may be the ones with more character than you.”

      wow,Kamal always make superb statements..

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  27. Hi IHM,

    We have so many archaic customs that have been deeply etched in our psyche that people still shudder at the thought their unborn child could be a girl.

    I guess some of the main factors influencing this thought are atrocious demand for dowry and vulnerability of girls around the age of 15 – 16 to roving eye of local bosses. I have friends from certain communities and they have confided with us that if the family is not well off these customs can wipe out any person with average financial means. If these demands are not satisfied, then you know the result…the girl is sent back or bumped off. All this and more in this day and age.

    This makes parents see the girl child as a “liability” and probably many times as a punishment for past karma. Parents dread having to spend their entire financial resources and there is a high probability of their child thrown out of the house. These people will just not have the mental state to survive after that.

    I am not sure a mere SC ruling is enough. You know very well how we excel in mocking at law and authority. Indians do anything new only when they have no choice.

    With some change in regional flavours I believe this must be an universal phenomenon across our country.

    This is no culture or a happy union of two souls. It is pure commerce and if the transaction is not to your liking, you just dump the girl like an used condom without a second thought.

    The answer to these issues obviously lie elsewhere. Will compulsion or deterrence work or a softer approach is warranted. I do not know.

    Me – Mavin I agree, it’s the same story all over India.

    I feel education and financial independence for girl should be the best option. Instead of thinking of killing the girl or giving her a life worse than death I wish these parents would help her find independence… but the child’s happiness is not their concern😦

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    • Education (or shall we say literacy) is only part of the story.

      Our current education system does not equip a person to face difficulties in life, manage their emotions, does not inculcate the right attitudes and skills nor does it help a person acquire self-esteem.

      A girl child especially in these unfair and trying times needs a high EQ also alongwith IQ. This alone will equip her to face adversities boldly.

      Financial independence is a very touchy subject in many many communities all over. This is seen as a serious threat and definitely discouraged. I have some young female colleagues in office – and very highly educated too – who are ready to give up a job and career after marriage and that too very willingly. This is according to the wishes of the future spouse and in-laws.

      What do you say on this??? Any insistence on part of the girl and her new life starts on a wrong note and some ill will. These colleagues seem very happy chucking it all in exchange for marital bliss….Their choice indeed but goes against what we think is a solution…..

      Funny is’nt it??

      Me – You are right Mavin! Financial independnece alone won’t help, one needs the right attitude also!! We do really lack in any guidance that makes us see what is worthy of compromise and where to put one’s foot down, most of the guidance comes from the elders who believe girls must live with whatever fate has given them… 😦

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  28. Sigh😦 This is just too sad IHM! But there shud be an end to this practice of dowry first! This evil practice is causing just too much trouble!

    Those women r abs wrong … they hv no right abs and more than anything, I cant believe someone cn be so so cruel😦

    But, y does this dowry practice exist and make ppl feel daughters are a burden! I so feel girls should stand and face such ppl! I mean atleast I wud take a stand and stay unmarried and independent than marry a person who just wants to marry me for money! Ridiculous!

    If only parents will take a girl’s marriage only as seriously as a boys… and make them equally responsible for caring for their old parents and property etc – if the girls are seen as a support in their old age they won’t kill them. And couples should live in their own home and care for parents from both the sides… no dowry, equal property rights… I don’t think such parents have so much love in their hearts that they allow a liability to be born so she must be seen as, and must become a blessing… it is happening, but too slowly.

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    • “If only parents will take a girl’s marriage only as seriously as a boys… and make them equally responsible for caring for their old parents and property etc – if the girls are seen as a support in their old age they won’t kill them.”

      You know why that happens? Because of the joint family system. I know anyone who opposes joint family system would be termed as a vamp (I have seen such comments on other blogs by men and even from some older women). The reason why I oppose is that ONLY because of this system of marrying off a girl and sending her to another house is single handedly responsible for most evils in the society. Since parents care for their girls, they send huge gifts with her (dowry system), then they see that now girls are gone forever to take care of boys family (so who wouldn’t want to have boys of their own so that they stay with them in old age).

      Till there is a system where there is no hard and fast rule that only boys should take care of his parents, I would never support this system.

      Me – I am totally with you on this Solilo. The Joint Family system is at the root of baby girl killing. Till the day girls and boys have equal responsibility and equal rights in caring for their parents this bias will never end.

      Till then , //”who wouldn’t want to have boys of their own so that they stay with them in old age” // Absolutely.

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  29. Me loves Tomatoes so I choose to throw rotten eggs.

    We have so many issues to tackle with but do they contribute towards votes? No! only beating up girls wearing jeans or preaching that women be at home for her own safety would bring votes.

    Even today in interiors of Tamilnadu and Rajasthan, newborn baby girls are killed by throwing raw rice/grains. The baby chokes to death.

    A friend’s sister who is a Malayali Christian recently got married to a Kashmiri Pandit but you know what was the girls’ side’s only condition? Conversion. Yes! they only wanted a Christian boy because only then Church would accept this marriage. The boy converted just for the sake without telling his parents.

    The caste system is still prevalent in Hindu community. Even today all marriage are arranged looking at gotra, caste etc. This segregation will continue till people want it to.

    All traditions are still to be followed by women and those who follow it are the ideal women. Is it necessary to even let go of your self-respect to please others? Is it worth it? I wonder sometimes.

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  30. Well come on we see a certain lady disobeying the Supreme court…So now people have got a role model to dis obey! yay! all hails democracy and free will…

    Me –😉 Ha ha ha 🙂 The entire country is waiting and watching to see what happens here🙂 I hope she learns and behaves herself. 😡

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  31. I have read few of those in the past week IHM… and I am not at all surprised…

    if you see most of the incidents happened or done by who are less educated or who are in the most backward districts… I believe education will surely help in changing the mindsets of the people.. Hope education reaches them and they know the importance of a child be it a girl or a boy…

    Me – Yes I hope so too Kanagu .. the thing is in subtler ways the rich and the educated also do similar things… we need education plus attitude change combined I feel… (thinking still)..

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  32. hmm … Am new to this place, liked it. Will visit often🙂 –

    The whole point of women liberation is not in having a Female President or 30% of MPs being women. Its about improving their standard of life, and am not sure if dere is anything one can do to improve it except for providing them with PROPER education and arm them with confidence to stand for themselves …

    Off the topic, there is this movie “Maatruboomi” which was not released properly in India. It dealt with female infanticide & etc what would happen to India if there are no women left, and shows how men turn into beasts..

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379375/

    Me – Welcome to this space Kalyan🙂 I agree with you – totally… though I do also feel that presence of women in public spaces is good for women. Being kept away from decision making has not helped… let me check the link …

    Matrubhoomi was a brilliant, I saw a video on a blog… yes we might end up like that … the way things are going. 😦

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  33. Pingback: The freedom to choose « Liveonimpulse's Blog

  34. When I read that news , I was wondering how could a mother kill her daughters ? Why should she resort to killing ? She could have atleast leave the baby in an orphanage ? why kill ? How can anyone have a heart to kill their own daughter whom she carried 10 months in her own womb ???????

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  35. Pingback: Inter Religious marriages. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  36. Pingback: Response from the email writer accused of betraying her “parents, country and culture by not having an arranged marriage” | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  37. Pingback: “About household financial status… his parents have done all that they can, and now have passed the baton to their three sons.” | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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