I received a link to this News by email.
This husband had obtained divorce from family court saying that the wife suspected him and that amounted to cruelty. The wife said he was having an affair and that was why he wanted divorce. …she was ready to tolerate husband’s relationship with the other woman. The high court accepted she had enough evidence to prove husband’s extra-marital affair. In the given circumstances, it was natural for the wife to become suspicious; this did not amount to cruelty.
The division bench restored the marriage.
I never thought this sort of news would please me, but it does because a divorce here would have been a reward for the husband.
I know of this girl who refused to sign the divorce papers. She didn’t want to leave her abusive husband free to marry another woman, because she said, she knew she was not going to marry again. She feels he (and his family) should not think he could ruin her life and happily marry again.
But why does she think she could never marry again?
Another woman found out years ago that her husband was involved with another woman. She hated the girl, had names for her, thought she had an ugly nose and a cunning mind, and she cursed her for ‘trapping’ her husband.
She is still married to him.
She’s sure he will change someday. She would never speak of divorce, she fears that is what he wants.
But I don’t think he wants divorce. She takes care of his parents, although they treat her badly. She is bitter but glad nobody knows about her humiliating secret. Everybody does. I think she is living in denial.
When I was a newly wed, a friend was complaining that her maid was very upset because the neighbour’s maid had been visiting her maid’s unemployed husband in her absence.
She said, “She is not going to let her take him away, she fought with her and let her know that!”
I asked why did she want such a husband, my friend gave me a look, “Why should she give up her husband to another woman?“
I still don’t understand. Was he hers anyway?
Another woman did not ‘stand by’ her husband like Shiney Ahuja’s wife is doing, she left him and went away. Years later we heard they were together again. And then after ten-twelve years, we met them in a mall.
He looked old, haggard and ashamed. He knew we knew.
He had been punished -lost his job, reputation and for a while, his family. His wife had changed too, she looked confident and self assured. He said she had given him a reason to live when he thought all was lost. She only wanted a regular family life, and she has it. She said they were closer than ever before, and they did look it.
Women like Hillary Clinton and Shiney Ahuja’s wife I think, hope for a similar end to their stories. An affair (or even rape, as in ‘Sheesha‘ – a Bollywood movie) by the husband is seen as rejection, if he needs them again, they feel they have ‘won him over’, even if he only came back when he had nowhere else to go.
Are women in love with their husbands when they fight to save their marriages? I wonder because I think an emotional woman would walk out. I believe in all such cases women stay because they feel this is their best option. Love and sacrifice here, are but glorified helplessness. And I wonder if this really is the best option.
But then not everybody has very romantic notions about marriages. For many it’s a practical arrangement. Here’s is a person who “belongs” to you and if somebody tries to “steal” him, you fight! The way you would fight for a car or a bag. What’s love got to do with it?