The Liberals will Live And Let Live…

The granddaughter puts aside the morning newspaper.

Granddaughter : Nani what do you think of men being in love with men?

Nani: What’s there to think? It’s good if people love each other.

Granddaughter: No Nani, I mean gay people.

Nani pretends to be engrossed in watching TV.

Granddaughter gets up to sit next to Nani.

Granddaughter: Nani what if it is not that kind of love, what if they want to get married to each other?

This is something I am also curious about, never thought of asking this!

Nani: I said if two people are happy it’s nobody’s problem…

Granddaughter: Even if it is two men wanting to marry each other Nani?

Nani: I told you, loving other humans is a good thing, now be quiet.

Granddaughter: Nani I am so proud of you! You should meet some of my class mates, some of them said if homosexuals are not punished brothers will start sleeping with brothers, and fathers with sons, and little boys will become unsafe! (An energetic, tight hug)

So times are definitely changing, when we were in school I did not believe homosexuality even existed in India!

* * *

But like Phoenixritu says, homosexuality was accepted in ancient societies.

Achilles, the bravest of all Trojan warriors was bisexual and the famous Trojan War would have had a very different ending if it was not for his love for Patroclus.

(Watch Achilles (Brad Pitt) and Patroclus in TROY)

* * *

And another surprise for me!! A new header … (Created by my daughter, Tejaswee Rao)

Header by TJ


60 thoughts on “The Liberals will Live And Let Live…

  1. Nani I am so proud of you! You should meet some of my class mates, some of them said if homosexuals are not punished brothers will start sleeping with brothers, and fathers with sons, and little boys will become unsafe!

    about little boys.. perverts didn’t / don’t need laws to harm little boys.

    IHM: I agree Oorja! If at all, such laws expose innocent civilians to exploitation by the police.


  2. Your daughter is a dream. And your mother, one that true 🙂

    Loved the questions, and read on amazed, at the replies. India still has hope then!

    Beautiful header; esp the cat 🙂

    Hi Ushus great to see you here!!! Miss having you around!!!About the Daughter and my mum, I just feel good when I see them get along so well 😆


  3. I actually wanted to do a post on Homosexuality , and how as a part of full-blooded male gang have I seen it . What all have I realized and learned about them . But I afraid my friends will label me a gay , and so I dare not do it . I think , that a certain very small percentage of the population , will NOT be straight , no matter what . Anomalies exist . We all have seen the physical anomalies known as eunuchs who are ill treated by the society . The homosexuals are a different kind of anomaly as well . And they exist because every system exhibits that kind of a behaviour , against the set pattern , every now and then . There is nothing good or bad about it , it is just like when suddenly one particular child becomes very tall , and one doesn’t grow at all .

    If We hate them or ostracize them , the fault lies within us , for we cannot stand the presence of a human whose sexual nature is very different from us . We need to live and let live .

    Alexander the Great was a bi-sexual , and so was Leonardo Da Vinci , if I am not wrong .

    Yes Kislay I agree, I have seen my kids used to giggle at the mere mention of the word gay, because in their school this was a way to rag someone. Nobody dared to argue in favour of homosexuals because they would be labeled!

    I am sure the police loves such laws so they can harass and exploit some more citizens.

    But Kislay it would be good to read about your experiences, maybe we all should do a tag on it, and may be reading each other’s posts will help us shed our own prejudices and fears too…


  4. This was a good decision by the Delhi High Court…But isn’t it strange that someone had to file a case so that he/she could live the life he/she wanted to without harming anyone?

    Yes it is really, really sad! But something good has come out of it now Sraboney, I am glad we are taking some good steps too. Kapur colleges also had to repeal their jeans ban!


  5. now now…. aint Nani really smart, simple and cool !!!

    Why is it so difficult for people to understand… actually this court judgement has surprised us Indians really…. we never thought something like this can happen in our country !!

    but then India is India !!! It takes you aback when you least expect it… doesnt it… ??

    Hey you did not ask ‘Hyuk me first’??? HW!! And yes India does take us aback at unexpected moments, this came as a pleasant surprise. This one and repealing of the ban on jeans in Kanpur made me feel hopeful and good 🙂

    now now… whos the header designer ??? huh ??? its fantastic which goes without saying !!!


  6. In fact long campaigns bred love among soldiers for each other in Greece and Rome, even England …. When I joined college, it was a subject that was discussed openly in our first year(Greek Litt). I did not know about homosexuality until then! Quite an eyeopener it was for me!

    Yeah Ritu I too was surprised to know about it, but somehow remained sort of detached, like, “these things happen in the western world’… I am not surprised by the ignorance, I am pleasantly surprised at the support the gay rights activists have managed to get 🙂


  7. there are many a things in our society which are opposed just because it is uncomfortable to many… homosexual is one such thing…

    And we forget how much we are hurting those who make us uncomfortable …


  8. The granny no doubt is liberal n smart. If only many more people adapt to being tolerant and follow the policy of live n let live.

    The header is cool 🙂

    Yeah Smita, my mum is more liberal now than even when we were young, I think times and awareness campaigns and a basic belief in live and let live, makes us all liberal …. The Header is a gift, I liked it too 🙂


  9. Its been a landmark decision and times have for sure changed..Even the campuses of today have adequate representations who can now come out in the open..Thank God!! 🙂


    Yes Nikhil, thank God! I feel a kind of peace when such things happen. And I saw the relief on so many faces, it must be frustrating for them to have to fight for something so, so basic!


  10. Yes – Finally the law taken from British is abolished.
    I liked what the judge said, this section of law opposes the basic right –> ‘right to freedom’…That was so ‘Duh!!’..isn’t it??
    I mean,… yeah! Just ‘live and let give’ guys! Shouldn’t we be minding our own business rather than indicting gays?Never made any sense to me!!
    Finally a welcome decision :).!

    Yes Chikki that was so Duh! Absolutely a welcome decision…


  11. the first time i read about homosexuality was in indian express in 1978 — i remember it so distinctly – it was a marriage between two girls in a temple in varanasi.

    another friends ‘s aunt who was 75 and passed away was a homosexual. she remained single, because she did not find any partner. but her father who was educated in the west and also belonged to some princely family in indore did not coerce her into getting married.
    her nephew was my very good friend, ‘did not come out of the closet’ until 4 years ago when he lived in the US, because he was scared to be discriminated at work. You want to have a friend to go shopping – call him. They give the most honest comments on clothes.

    i think there is a homsexual dna! who knows ..i am quite happy they have their rights — ONE less protest on the street — and now we can move on to other important things …and lets ask these guys to join in too..

    Yes Anrosh, one less protest and one less set of victims! And now we can move to things like hunger and sickness, and education!!! Well said Anrosh!!


  12. very nice avataar of yours.
    change is essence of life. be it of your tempelate or of human values, our thinking, our culture
    Lets hope this change is progressive and solves many problems.
    a real optimistic view We should favour Gay Sex. by this we will be able to control the poplutation.
    and the naani is real savvy.
    any change that makes people happy in long run and doesn’t harm any one is welcome.

    Yes Anju Gandhi, I also use that yardstick to judge right from wrong, if it harms nobody, and if it makes people happy, it is not a crime!


  13. I was happy when i heard the verdict,atlast justice has been done to gays in india,even they have a right to live the way they want to.

    Nice header and i loved the cat drawing.

    Yes Saritha I was also delighted! I like the cat drawing too, does it look like Sher Khan??


  14. Now we all know why you are so liberal It is all in the genes …! The historic Delhi High Court verdict saved the Govt some blushes. I think it is in the same Court that last year Home Ministry was against and Health Ministry for decriminalising homosexuality and Court asked the Govt to make up its mind Now before Govt was brave enough to make up its mind Court did This do not mean it will be red carpet everywhere for LGBT from now on Stigma in the society has to be removed For that we need more and more liberal Nanis and Bloggers like those in your family

    Thanks Charakan!!! Yes I think she is liberal sometimes 🙂 I didn’t think liberal enough sometimes when we were young though… I read this out to my mum … 😆


  15. Indeed homosexuality was accepted in ancient societies and it took so long for it to be accepted here in the present times at least by law. Now the mind set of a lot of people also has to change. Good to see ‘Nani’ in the forefront! 🙂

    The header is super cool.


  16. I just cant imagine how happy SRK, Manish Malhotra and Karan Johar would be !!!! 😀 😀 😀

    Personally I feel this is one of the best decisions by our judiciary. Kudos !!!

    and cool header !


  17. Achilles was gay? I saw Troy so many times (thanks to HBO & Star Movies) but never quite thought they were gay and in love with his cousin. I always thought he was in love with that girl from Troy who he had captured and died trying to rescue.

    All of sudden, this gives a completely new perspective to the story line.

    Masood, he also loved Brisseus 🙂 He was bisexual…. we read about it first in college while studying Odyesseus.


  18. wow! nani is cool?
    will she adopt me??
    *sigh, crafty doesn’t know how many ppl she has requested to adopt her*

    truly IHM, this was a surprise! Of all the moral policing and being such a judgemental nation…a ray of hope!

    i’ve known friends n classmates who are homosexual, and found absolutely no difference in thier behaviour, as opposed to stereotypes that are projected. their sexual preference has no effects whatsoever on their interactions, thoughts and the kind of people they are….

    A guy friend jokingly remarked about another guy friend of mine who was homosexual, “So it’s cool to hang out with him….coz u r safe! He’s gay!”

    and i asked him, “u mean to say, i am not safe with you? so u plan to assault me coz u’re heterosexual???”
    he tried to say that’s not how he meant it, he respected me etc…but i enjoyed taking his case! 👿

    why do ppl think that a homosexual will have “feelings” or attraction for any one his / her gender??? we don’t fall for each and everyone, why would they??!!

    i feel its the media to blame for the stereotypical image that is leading to mockery of homosexuals, even in young minds! 😦 and what’s with the “straight” and “gay” terms????? what the hell is “straight”. just because heterosexuality is visibly prevalent in a majority, doesn’t give anyone of us the authority to label it as “the right / normal” behaviour.

    we are not animals who have sex only to procreate…its also an expression of love, a seek for pleasure…
    THAT is normal….sexuality is normal, the preference is subjective, i wish we didn’t label it like we have! 😐

    [ IHM: Crafty Shines I agree and love you for thinking like this and saying this!]

    boys will be unsafe
    as if they are safe now! sickos will have their way, punishment or no punishment!!

    IHM, will u give nani a super tight hug from me? 😀


  19. Isn’t it funny that when it comes to homosexuality both the Taliban and the RSS agree…but IHM I want to know what is the cause of homophobia…is it because we believe that the duty of mankind/womankind is procreation and that would be hampered if there are more homosexuals? Is that the argument when it is described as against the law of nature? There were many people who were telling me that now the homosexuals will atleast be able to be open about it, take a stroll on the beach hand in hand and stuff…but I tend to disagree, because the law does not guarantee a change in mindsets (atleast not quick changes) and hell ours is a culture so phobic of love between humans even if of the opposite sex (the countless honour killings are proof) that I doubt we will ever accept this…but atleast now the homosexuals won’t have to shun all social contact and can answer back in case anyone tries to mess with them


  20. The times sure have changed! My views on homosexuality have changed over the years…I put it all down to growing older and maturing and all that comes with it. Guess it was just a matter of time before the law-makers did too…

    And I absolutely LOVE the header! You are one hot homemaker! 🙂

    LOL I don’t look like that!!


  21. Now thats a cool nani!
    And hugs to your daughter. She’s so smart.

    It’s so bizarre. Elder people and kids understand this, but I have seen 20-25 year olds thinking so absurdly about homosexuals and calling them abnormal and retarded. If the youth thinks that way, it is sad.


  22. I love the header! Very unique 🙂

    And nani is way too cool. I expected her to ignore the question completely. It was a pleasant surprise to read what she told your daughter. Three cheers to her!


  23. Classic,IHM…Kudos to your mom…and its so so healthy and necessary to have such a conversation in a household.And your children are really lucky to have such a forward thinking Nani.

    Personally,IHM I was happy with the Delhi high court decision to decriminalize homosexuality. Its to be seen though how many of our fellow citizens,especially those belonging to some religious,conservative factions of our country come on board and agree to this move.
    Nonetheless it sure is a way forward.


  24. I love your whole family. Your family is just women of today. Your spirit…you got from your mom and now your daughter too. Kudos women!

    I think our ancient society was liberal as in it accepted various relationships for some reasons. Of course the changes came which I wouldn’t delve into but it is true that instances of homosexuality can be found in various scriptures.

    BTW that header is classic! It is so you.


  25. The Greek myths have always spoken of homo-erotic male relationships (not only Achilles, but a lot of other deities- most of Ganymede for Jupiter for instance and so on- they usually had young male companions) and the ancient Greeks did not really look down upon same-sex relationships- Sappho of Lesbos was a very famous poetess. And so also in ancient India (at least it was never condemned, nothing was really considered unnatural). Indeed as late as Shakespeare there are sonnets for young men and women. It was only the Victorians who made homosexuality a sin- Oscar Wilde was imprisoned for it.
    What I do not understand is how the far Hindu right claims gayness as a Western import, when the condemnation of it actually is. Though of course that puts all the far right folk (Hindu, Muslim, Christian) in exactly the same boat- that which controls sexuality and its expression in every way possible.
    I hope this judgment paves the way for a more open social mindset. laws wise, we have very good laws in India, but we are not socially very progressive.


  26. What amuses me is that if it was all accepted in society 100s of years ago, then what happened in between? Where did we all go wrong and created such laws for what a person can and cannot do in his own bedroom?


  27. A mother with a cosmopolitan approach-wow. A rarity I must say. But we girls are really fortunate that we got moms who go with the times.
    Thumbs up to the little girl and the big girl.


  28. Awesome naani 🙂
    and what a trio of women!
    makes me proud to read about three awesome women..three generations who are thinking on the same wavelength ! 🙂

    Love never hurts… as nani said loving other humans is a good thing,
    youbet it is! 🙂

    This world could use a little more love 🙂

    LOVE LOVE your header 🙂
    hawtiiee!! and a cool cat! 😀

    did you show the header to Sher Khan? 😀

    PS:- was out of town so couldn’t reply to I am back 🙂


  29. I love your mom! :):) You must write some more of the ‘Nani’ tales. I so love reading them. 🙂
    The header`s so cute. Love the cat with her stripes! 🙂


  30. thats one hip/cool nani!!!i wonder what mine wud say if i asked her the same questions..i suspect she wud die of a heart attack!! no, im sure she will die of a heart attack!!!

    that decision was long due…high time we treated people like people, irrespective of their sexual preferences.

    and i LOVE your new header!!! totallllllllllly love it!!!! did u make it?

    LOL NO!!!I didn’t make it, it is a gift… guess who from???


  31. IHM, I don’t know how I missed this post! Thanks to Crafty – for letting me know 🙂

    Your mom is the bestest! It is wonderful to hear such views from somebody of her generation.. I guess it just goes to show that to be a liberal -you can be of any age, caste, sexuality:)

    I think the judgement is fantastic! It was high time that this happened.

    Homosexuality is as old as heterosexuality and it is just the ideas of morality which has changed perceptions over time..

    ‘love never hurts’! So true! It is only hate and intolerance, that hurts, be it towards anybody.

    We need more people like you, your mom and your daughter!!

    And the header is fantastic!!! Oh so cool!!!!


  32. hey IHM…. Hats off to Nani…

    even with all those laws, ppl who abuse ppl coz of their personal choice arent gonna give up…. i seriously expected a Muthalik Break out once the law was removed…. 😐

    then again, wr are those idiots???


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  34. Pingback: “If I was born somewhere else, sometime later, in a more liberal family, in a more equal world.” | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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